The Fog of Tingles

One again, an excerpt from Life at the Bottom,

In the circumstances, it isn’t altogether surprising that I can now tell at a glance — with a fair degree of accuracy — that a man is violent toward his significant other.  In truth, the clues are not particularly subtle.  A closely-shaven had with many scars on the scalp from collisions with broken bottles or glasses, a broken nose; blue tattoos on the hands, arms, and neck, relaying messages of love hate and challenge; but above all, a facial expression of concentrated malignity, outraged egotism, and feral suspiciousness — all these give the game away.  Indeed, I no longer analyze the clues and deuce a conclusion:  a man’s propensity to violence is as immediately legible in his face and bearing as any other strongly marked character trait.

All the more surprising is it to me, therefore, that the nurses perceive things differently.  They do not see a man’s violence in his face, his gestures, his deportment, and his bodily adornments, even though they have the same experience with the patients as I.  They hear the same stories, they see the same signs, but they do not make the same judgements.  What more, they never seem to learn; for experience — like chance, in the famous dictum of Louis Pasteur — favors only the mind prepared.  And when I guess at a glance that a man is an inveterate wife beater (I use the term”wife” loosely), they are appalled at the harshness of my judgement, even when it proves right once more.

This is not a matter of merely theoretical interest to the nurses, for many of them in their private lives have themselves been the compliant victims of violent men.  For example, the lover of one of the senior nurses, and attractive and lively young woman, recently held her at gunpoint and threatened her with death, after having repeatedly blacked her eye during the previous months.  I met him once when he cam looking for her in the hospital:  he was just the kind of ferocious young egotist to whom I would give a wide berth in the broadest daylight.

Why are the nurses so reluctant to come to the most inescapable conclusions?  

Why indeed.  Now on to the women patients.

This failure of recognition is almost universal among my violently abused women patients.  For the abused women, the failure to perceive in advance the violence of their chosen men serves to absolve them of all responsibility for whatever happens thereafter, allowing them to think of themselves as victims alone, rather than the victims and accomplices they are. Moreover, it licenses them to obey their impulses and whims, allowing them to suppose that sexual attractiveness is the measure of all things and that prudence in the selection a a male companion is neither possible nor desirable.

Often their imprudence would be laughable were it not tragic:  many times in my ward I’ve watched liaisons form between abused female patient and abusing male patient within half of an hour of their striking up an aquaintance. By now I can often predict the formation of such a liaison — and predict that it will as certainly end in violence as the sun will rise tomorrow.

At first, of course, my female patients deny that the violence of their men is foreseeable.  But when I ask them whether they think I would have recognized it in advance, the great majority — nine out of ten — reply, yes, of course.  And when asked how they think I would have done so, they enumerate precisely the factors that would have led me to that conclusion.  So their blindness is willful.

And why do these female patients act in this manner?  Well, there are many factors, but there is one that bundles a whole bunch into one.  And that would be?

Posted in FarmBoy, Hypergamy, Lies
119 comments on “The Fog of Tingles
  1. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I can see the author’s point and wasn’t it your sister who gave up trying to help such women?
    There may have been a us for a propensity for violence before civilization but, we’re supposed to be civilized now.
    In response to your question

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tarnished says:

    Complete and utter lack of self-esteem. See it with some (few!) Magic and Yugioh players…they are grody, unclean, have unkempt hair/beards, wear the most hobo-like clothes ever created, sometimes have revolting BO, and their personalities match. Yet they have hot, sweet, nice and most importantly low self-esteem girlfriends who will wait on them hand and foot.

    I’ve had to tell a minority of these guys to knock it the hell off, the way they speak to their ladies. Not joking the way scfton does…actually mean/completely disrespectful. And the dumb nice girls just duck their heads and agree and take it! Stupid as f*** and they somehow believe it’s fine and the best they can get.

    These situations are sad. Like, blind orphan puppy fell down a well type sad. But there’s nothing anyone can do…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. SFC Ton says:

    Lack of self-esteem? BULLFUCKINGSHIT

    it’s tingles. Maximum level tingles.


  4. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Off topic fromm COTWA. “Everything we have learned from the sexual greivance industry is wrong.” That is quite a statement.


  5. Sumo says:

    Between 1990 and 2000, “Theodore Dalrymple”, whose real name is Anthony Daniels, worked as a physician at City Hospital and Birmingham Prison, both located in the Winson Green area of Birmingham, England

    So C-3P0 is an expert on domestic violence? Who would have guessed…..?


  6. Yoda says:

    Lack of self-esteem?

    Feed it to youngsters with a fire hose they do.
    Girls especially.


  7. Tarnished says:

    Maybe to the majority, Yoda. I hate to be cliché, but gonna say it anyway…

    Not all girls.
    It’s a highly confusing time of life, filled with constant barrages of blatant and subtle peer pressure. People your own age or older telling you you’re “nothing”, that even if you try your hardest you’ll never measure up. You will *never* be pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough. If you have small breasts when you’re 14, you are automatically classed as inferior to the girls who are large breasted (who, btw, are automatically seen as easy or sluttish …regardless of how they really are).

    Even I, who managed to avoid the bulk of this idiotic peer pressure because I simply didn’t care about “feminine” crap, was 20-25 lbs underweight for nearly all of middle school and part of high school. That was adult pressure from my stepfather, who’d say something cruel and negative about my body anytime I ate outside of breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

    That’s just my experience growing up. I don’t think boys have it any easier, but please just know that it (at least at my age/in my location) there was no Perfect Princess entitlement shite. There probably was for others, but it is absolutely possible to be female and have incredibly low self-esteem at a current age of 30.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Yoda says:

    Yet they have hot, sweet, nice and most importantly low self-esteem girlfriends who will wait on them hand and foot.

    Eagerly welcomed by large swaths of “better” guys these women would be.
    But take them up on the offer they do?


  9. Liz says:

    Human psychology is a strange thing. For example, women who are sexually abused/raped very early in life are far more likely to be sexually profligate, on average. One would think it would be the opposite case and they would never want sex, or want it less with people they don’t know well and can’t trust. But it’s the opposite case.

    I think it’s because people can be majorly fucked up.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    While there may be better candidates, they have to be wanted. It’s back to the old adage about leading a horse to water. You can’t make him drink.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    All the more reasom to get the froggie helmets in the stores before Christmas. They’ll need the optional tin foil lining.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Yoda says:

    Fuzzie Bear,

    Who has to want who?


  13. Sumo says:

    Speaking for the high functioning sociopath community, I’m rather fond of hot girls with low self esteem. It just makes things so much easier.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Tarnished says:


    It’s likely because they are taught that affection *is* sex, or sexual in nature. That you show you care about someone by offering them sex/agreeing to sex. It messes you up in the head, makes even regular touch (like a pat on the back, or a hug) seem like a beginning sexual move instead of what it really is…just normal, everyday body language.

    But take them up on the offer they do?

    Not nearly enough, but sometimes. There’s a good chunk of nerds/geeks who aren’t suave or magazine-handsome or articulate…heck some have major “negatives” like physical deformities/handicaps to overcome…who have loving wives or girlfriends. Not the majority. Probably not even a significant minority. But enough that it’s clear a few women go for Betas over Alphas.

    It probably has to do with it being slightly easier for Beta guys to ask out gals who are into the same hobbies and have a fun/mutually interested foundation to build on. One customer met his wife of 5 years (so far) at a Nintendo cosplay parade. 😛

    The outliers are real. Question is, can the outliers ever become the majority?

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Tarnished says:

    I should clarify my comment at 4:24.

    Affection can, and in certain relationships absolutely should be, sexual in nature. However, this is different than being unable to tell when it should be/is VS when it’s not/is inappropriate. You also read incorrectly into other’s body language, which can be extremely awkward…and your own b.l. is too open/friendly so people think you’re hitting on them when the thought hasn’t even crossed your mind.

    Ok, done with this topic now. Not a fun tangent. Just didn’t want anyone misconstruing my position.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “Who has to want who?”
    Girls have to want boys with good intentions.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Tarnished says:

    Boys with good intentions have to learn (from other good intentioned, relationship successful menfolk) how to;

    1. Be charismatic and confident *in oneself*.
    2. Be a strong individual in every sense.
    3. Have goals that both do and do not include women/obtaining a relationship.
    4. Become, as Bloom put it, a catch.
    5. Advertise themselves as being a catch.


  18. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I would hate to be a young man in the present time. They have been witness to a lot and it is far from encouraging. It’s almost like the first dance. Somebody has to step out on the dance floor.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Tarnished says:

    Again, Fuzzie, that’s why I approve of MGTOW or actual equality in numerous spheres. You know, the kind that our impossibly handsome Patriarch wants women to have…

    If only the guys are stepping out onto the dance floor, that’s obviously unfair since they’re taking all the risk. Women should have to get up off their asses too.


  20. A wise person on e said to me, ” when a person is sick, they are attracted to the sickness. When they are healthy, they are attracted to the love (opposite.) healing past stuff is what sets the stage for a new dynamic. People don’t choose to be victims/abused/neglected in childhood, nor did they have much choice but to cope best they could. But in adulthood, there is choice. It can take a lot of groping about and courage, and won’t undo the past, but one can write their own ending – comedy or tragedy. If they don’t realize they are choosing, for some reason tragedy is the stronger pull. Complex stuff. Lucky if one did not experience such.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I was thinking of that awkward time when the band is playing and there is no one on the dance floor. Somebody has to start it all rolling.


  22. Choicy says:

    Fuzzie 29 July, 2015 at 6:15 am
    You hit the nail on the head mate.


  23. Random thought, maybe women putting all the eggs in the sexually attractive basket is another offshoot of feminism? Bear with me here: so if men mostly base their mate choice on physical attraction while women used to do so on a combo of provision/protection/character/looks/etc. Then women today are choosing mates “like men do” but like the many other cases of women trying to do things “like men do” it just doesn’t work? Maybe that’s stretching things but it does seem women have shifted their filter from what past generations sought?

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Thinking on this further, men didnt need women for provision/protection so it makes sense men would choose based on looks and youth, as he’s seeking her to be a mate/wife/mom. Women need men for provisioning/protection so it makes no sense for a woman to choose mainly on looks, as men can. A woman choosing a man based mostly on looks is like a man choosing a woman mostly on his ability to provide for and protect him!

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Liz says:

    Generally what women consider to be “good looks” are masculine traits. It’s along the lines of the ‘protection’ thing (IMO).
    Mike is a very good looking man, but he’d be a horrifically ugly woman.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Liz says:

    I think women still want (essentially) what they always wanted, except the bar has moved (because they have their own careers and money and still want to mate “up”) and women are far more flighty (because they have their own careers and have less and less admiration for men in general especially when they hold the power to cripple them via litigation) and have very little sense of loyalty (they carry a trump card via litigation).

    There was something I read a while back (can’t remember where) about a social psychology involving boys and girls and group dynamics. Boys were assigned a task, and forcused their energies on accomplishing the task (primarily). By contrast, girls performed the task while observing the faces of others to make sure everything was “okay” with the group dynamic. Girls focused on the facial expressions of others ten times more than the boys did. Girls are very herd sensitive. But we already knew that. This is why power imbalances (disempowerment of males, case in point) can change cultures in a such fundamental way. Change the family, change the face of society.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Liz says:

    Thinking further, I think when the topic of “self esteem” comes up we tend to look at it from different angles (maybe it’s a male/female thing, or maybe it’s just me).
    To me, there’s no better indication of a lack of self esteem than an attention-whoring “lookat me! Lookat me!” whether in the form of a selfie or some public display of de rigueur depravity for validation. I’ve always thought this. Most (not all, but a good portion) of the strippers I’ve known have the lowest self esteem of anyone, along with the most sexually profligate behavior (they also, uncoincidentally, tend to be the most infantile and aggressive of cunts).


  28. SFC Ton says:

    It is interesting watching supposed red pill women spin tingles into low self esteem

    What the doc describes is classic alpha bad boy tingle generating machines with all the sexy dark triad traits on full display.

    What do women offer beyond sex?
    Modern vacuum cleaner means my carpeted floors are clean in 15 minutes
    Swiffer mop thing means my kitchen and bathroom floors are clean in another
    Laundry? Start a load, go to work; come home, transfer to dryer and go to bed. No real time consumer
    Food? Two hours on Sunday gives me meals until Friday. Modern refrigeration keeps the food fresh and safe; Tupperware lets me break it all down into a single severing meaning my lunches etc are not just made but packed and waiting for me
    Stuff like colorx wipes and dishwashers make clean up easy as pie.

    Everything that makes a housewife’s life easier makes a bachelors life easier.

    Ok technology and cultural shifts have reduced the domestic value of women.

    Sort of like daddy police and daddy welfare check have reduced the value of beta’s in the SMP/ MMP

    Good looks are also indicators of good health, intelligence etc etc. So it’s not just the boner inducing lust…. well that part of why looks induce lust driven boners.

    Change the family change the society is why the Super Predators changed the family. They are evil fuckers and have traditionally been hated for good reasons


  29. SFC Ton says:

    Women = attention whore; it makes sense that they would need more attention/ validation the less womanish they feel

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Liz says:

    “Women = attention whore; it makes sense that they would need more attention/ validation the less womanish they feel”

    Yes. They need validation because they don’t feel secure. No amount of outside “woohoo!” or sex with “alphas” is going to ever do it for them. They are broken.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Liz says:

    At the end of the day, seeking out and purposefully choosing a person who physically beats you is not healthy or normal behavior. It isn’t biologically normal (won’t live long if you’re beaten regular, and the kids won’t live long if she permits them to be beaten either…life and offspring are biological imperatives at least at the level of urgency as ‘tingles’ but really higher). Do these men give them ‘tingles’? in all likelihood yes. But the question is why.


  32. missattempts says:

    I’m in the process of reading a book titled: “Three Dog Nightmare,” It’s the
    biography of the singer Chuck Negron, one of the singers of the band “Three Dog
    Night.” He lived the rock star’s life of complete depravity and drug addled dissolution.
    But the thing that impresses me most are the “groupies.” The man had sex with
    countless numbers of women, who were more then happy to give themselves to him,
    and other band members. He had so much sex, his penis exploded. He talks about
    how he could “steal” women from their “ordinary” boyfriends with ease.
    How do you think reading tales like that makes this 57 year old virgin feel?
    More women in one night then many get in their whole lives, and I can’t even get one.
    And these girls traveled long distances just to offer themselves up to them.
    Cill was in the music business. Is that why he became a MGTOW because he
    experienced the true nature of women first hand?
    In any event, I’m not one to strike out randomly at strangers because that would
    solve nothing. I DO intend to “off” myself SOON, because I can’t stand another
    Summer like this.


  33. Liz says:

    Chuck Negron was a heroin addict and his only son (also an addict) went to prison. How good could his life be?


  34. Liz says:

    We have a neighbor (friend) who is the only son of one of the original members of ACDC. He’s a trust fund child. His life isn’t that good, and he tried every drug in existence before his 18th birthday.


  35. Yoda says:

    They hear the same stories, they see the same signs, but they do not make the same judgements. What more, they never seem to learn

    Nurses eduated to be somewhat logical they are.
    Yet tingles overcome logical training they do.
    A stronger discipline needed it is.
    Jedi discipline.


  36. Yoda says:

    So their blindness is willful.

    A hamster by any other name.


  37. Yoda says:

    Moreover, it licenses them to obey their impulses and whims, allowing them to suppose that sexual attractiveness is the measure of all things and that prudence in the selection a a male companion is neither possible nor desirable.

    Tingles uber alles


  38. Yoda says:

    Do these men give them ‘tingles’? in all likelihood yes. But the question is why.

    Because being beaten dominance it does state.
    And dominance many women do crave.


  39. Yoda says:

    At the end of the day, seeking out and purposefully choosing a person who physically beats you is not healthy

    Expectation that “beat me not so much as to hurt me” there is.


  40. Yoda says:

    attention whore; it makes sense that they would need more attention/ validation the less womanish they feel

    Snooki poster child for this disease she is.
    Contributions we seek not.
    For her no cure there would be.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Liz says:

    Dominance does not equal a beat down. That is patently absurd.
    It doesn’t require any discipline whatsoever to NOT choose a guy who is going to beat you.

    How often does that happen anyway? Are women battered left and right? There are very few women I know who have been in abusive relationships. I know more men personally who have faced erroneous rape and abuse charges.

    Seems it’s more the opposite and they’re calling the cops on non-beaters.


  42. Liz says:

    Grr. This topic gets me het up.


  43. Yoda says:

    Dominance does not equal a beat down.

    But simple and easy way to be dominant this is.


  44. Yoda says:

    How often does that happen anyway?

    In bad area the doctor did work.
    Much higher rate there it would be.


  45. Yoda says:

    I know more men personally who have faced erroneous rape and abuse charges.

    Nothing says dominance like fake FV charges they do.


  46. Liz says:

    If beat-downs were tingle inducing for the vast majority of women, there would be FAR more abusive relationships. No, it isn’t the law that prevents that it’s because the vast majority don’t find it acceptable behavior.

    Women who find tingles with an abusive person are fucked up. That is not normal.
    (Throws down froggie helmet)

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Yoda says:

    DV charges that would be


  48. Yoda says:

    Perhaps messed up they are,
    but exist they do

    Liked by 1 person

  49. Liz says:

    “In bad area the doctor did work.
    Much higher rate there it would be.”

    Indeed. What does that tell us? Where would the most fucked up people tend to reside?


  50. Yoda says:

    Women who find tingles with an abusive person are fucked up. That is not normal.

    Women who pass up nice guys with good jobs for bad boys are fucked up. That is not normal.


  51. Liz says:

    Do you envision Victoria Secret models scoping out the housing project areas looking for people who can give them a really good beat-down for “tingles”?

    Liked by 1 person

  52. Liz says:

    How do you define “nice”? And how do you define “bad”?
    Because Yoda, a warrior he is.


  53. Yoda says:

    Do you envision Victoria Secret models scoping out the housing project areas looking for people who can give them a really good beat-down for “tingles”?

    Upscale tingles afford they can.


  54. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    You have given me pause to think. That women can get by living alone has to have a huge effect on their outlook. From that standpoint, men would have to bring a lot more to the table.

    You get madder over false allegations than I do.

    Liz brings a “hands on” perspective.


  55. Yoda says:

    How do you define “nice”? And how do you define “bad”?
    Because Yoda, a warrior he is.

    A Jedi only uses force to fight evil he does.

    Modern definition of bad would be “posturing with hints of violence along with poor treatment of women”
    “Nice guy” the opposite it would be.
    Typical manosphere definition this is.


  56. Liz says:

    “A Jedi only uses force to fight evil he does.”

    Evil Snooki be.
    Beat her down, “nice” it would seem to me.


  57. Yoda says:

    A question if some behaviors a bug or a feature they are.


  58. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Snooki so ebul that Jedi powers required?

    Liked by 1 person

  59. I agree Liz, it’s not normal and if you asked these women, like the Dr. says, they couldn’t “see” it going in. They didnt conciously think “I want a guy who will abuse me.” I wonder if its a gender thing (gasp!) for men to be able to sense this violence potential in other men? Because not only did the abused women miss it, so did the nurses. But he could see it right away. Maybe that’s why men are the protectors? Maybe that’s why a gal’s male family members used to screen suitors? Maybe now that women are doing this themselves, they are missing vital clues because of this blind spot? But if so, what would be the advantage of women being unable (or unconsciously able) to sort violent men from not?

    Also, I have known several abuse victims and I think there’s a gradual progression and brainwashing almost to it that has a strong influence. The guy is charming at first, maybe even more charming than most. The abuse comes later, along w honeymoon phases after each episode. A gal I grew up with, her guy darn near killed her, two days after she’s crying on Facebook how “he doesn’t even want me anymore.” Then they got back together. Very sad. I am not sure what’s happened since, I stopped following Facebook several years ago except for biz stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. Liz says:

    “Snooki so ebul that Jedi powers required?”

    Yes. 😛
    Thing is, some people really do deserve to get their ass kicked. Some women are crazy…I mean crazier than average, absolutely broken and destructive and manipulative. I’ll bet a lot of them prefer “tingle inducing” abusive convicts. I’ll bet very few of them prefer non-abusive men.

    Women with a lot of choices and anything resembling mental balance don’t. But I’ll tell you if I started going crazy and throwing stuff at Mike (he has never ever hit me and I can’t imagine him hitting me) I would indeed deserve to get smacked.
    It’s not a feature.


  61. I would think the tingles thing is a feature of some sort, for some reason. These drives don’t exist if they are ‘t efficient for some reason, even if the go askew wo the social cap that on e kept them in place.

    Let’s say bad part of town. Yes, more violence for many reasons. So is woman in a bad part of town being more drawn to a man who has more potential to commit violence on her behalf (and to her as well) such a “illogical” choice?

    Tingles, which I disagree necessarily = being abused, must serve a purpose if they are so powerful. What is the purpose?


  62. Liz says:

    “So is woman in a bad part of town being more drawn to a man who has more potential to commit violence on her behalf (and to her as well) such a “illogical” choice?”

    “Violence on her behalf”= logical choice
    Violence on HER= illogical

    “Tingles, which I disagree necessarily = being abused, must serve a purpose if they are so powerful. What is the purpose?”

    It’s tingles by association, from prior awful experiences that have messed that person up. It’s called dysfunction. The movie ‘The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things’ demonstrates this sort of relationship dynamic and how it evolves (but in the movie’s case, the object of abuse is a boy and I don’t recommend it, it’s absolutely heartbreaking).


  63. That the level of dysfunction is increasing in our society at an expotential rate, I would not disagree.

    I have seen people who have been raised in abuse and dysfunction go on to rise from the ashes and become exceptional people while in other cases they just repeat the cycle. So it is escapable, why some do and some don’t fascinates me. How can we help more “do?”


  64. Spawny Get says:

    Might be of interest. An outside view of TTIP.

    FTR The NHS is a bureaucratic shitpile that kills on an industrial scale. Not all the staff are crap, but the environment crushes the good uns while encouraging the waste-of-spacers.


  65. SFC Ton says:

    Tingles are tingles. They tingle for those guys because they are dangerous
    The nurses tingle for those guys because they are dangerous

    The tingles are a feature not a bug. Now the dysfunction maybe be in choosing to be with them but I am not so sure. War brides etc kind of thing point to it not being a dysfunction. Also some women need and want a stronger pimp hand. Whatever is going on self esteem is the biggest bullshit answer in the feminist bullshit answer hand book.

    We are also watching the herd/ FI at work with our very own “red pill” girls.

    Violent men speak to evolutionary survival; nice guys with good jobs do not. It is that simple.

    Fight women is pretty much fighting evil….


  66. Choicy says:

    missattempts asked “Cill was in the music business. Is that why he became a MGTOW because he
    experienced the true nature of women first hand?”

    Mate, the reason he went MGTOW is he saw what feminists did to his mates. It was so bad, I’d bet London to a brick that quite a few other blokes went MGTOW as well, when they saw what happened to Cillo’s mates. I have wondered if you might have him confused with someone else, mate.

    Regarding the other thing in your comment I think you should do an internet search on “site for suicidal people” in your browser, mate. This is one of the sites :
    Ring one of the phone lines there, mate. I urge you to give them a ring and after you’ve talked for a bit you might find things start to sort out. Give them a ring, matey.

    Liked by 3 people

  67. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I haven’t seen one episode of Jersey Shore. Wrapping my head around the concept of Snooki being that ebul is difficult.
    I also get the felling that you may be right. There may not be that much domestic violence going on out there.I can see why feminism would want to pump up the numbers, it is their cash cow.


  68. Yoda says:

    Many behaviors dysfunctional in modern developed world they are.
    Still do them people do.
    Afford them we can.
    But for how long this will be?


  69. Yoda says:

    The NHS is a bureaucratic shitpile that kills on an industrial scale. Not all the staff are crap, but the environment crushes the good uns while encouraging the waste-of-spacers.

    So proud of the NHS during the Olympic parade they were.


  70. Tarnished says:

    Literal brainwashing or a form of Stockholm Syndrome could be a big part of it. Unless you truly take a step back, or have a “separate” part of your mind keep tabs on the rest of you…it can be bad. Hearing the same thing day in/day out can make you believe it. It’s a deliberate wearing down of your sense of rightness.

    You have to be strong enough to fully cut out from your life those who hurt you. This is generally harder for women to do…Get rid of part of your tribe? Never speak to them again? Have to live with the prying questions from other tribesmembers or insinuations that you’re “overreacting”? Be made to think you’re guilty of being too harsh on your abuser?


    Liked by 1 person

  71. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t know if Missattempts will see this or not. At a guess, I think that he has very limited internet use. He only posts one comment a day. Now, I could be wrong but, I have heard that there are all kinds of resources for suiidal women, very little for men. In light of the fact that men are offing themselves four times as much as women, it is har to understand.

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Choicy says:

    The founder of is a bloke. In any case mate, I’ve pretty much run out of puff for today. I’m off to the sack.

    Liked by 4 people

  73. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Thanks for trying. I think if we simply provide a friendly enviornment for Missattempts, that woud be a good thing.
    Sleep well.

    Liked by 3 people

  74. Spawny Get says:

    The realities of the bureaucratic shitpile so celebrated during the olympics (or so I’m told, I didn’t have any interest in any of that colossal waste of money).


    “It’s been made very clear that the Liverpool Care Pathway is not acceptable and is not an appropriate pathway for people at the end of their life,” he said. “We heard some terrible examples of people being denied fluids at the end of life and it’s concerning that Nice have felt the need to issue this guidance.”

    The head of Nice, Sir Andrew Dillon, has said: “Recognising when we are close to death and helping us to remain comfortable is difficult for everyone involved.

    “The Liverpool Care Pathway was originally devised to help doctors and nurses provide quality end-of-life care. While it helped many to pass away with dignity, it became clear that it wasn’t always used in the way it was intended. Some families, for example, felt that elderly relatives were placed onto the pathway without their knowledge or consent.

    “The guidelines we are developing will ensure that people who are nearing the end of their lives are treated with respect and receive excellent care.”



  75. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    That Corporate America may be influencing the Euorpean Parliament, which is not directly elected, is more than a little scary.

    Liked by 2 people

  76. Liz says:

    Oh, boy…I could go on about corporate America.
    Vote Trump! Or brand-name Hillary! [/sarc]

    Sorry your NHS is such a mess, Swithy. 😦
    We aren’t far behind you with the Obamacare abortion adding to the mix of what was already inaffordable levels of cost in healthcare.

    “Violent men speak to evolutionary survival”
    Most definitely. Violent men who are on your side speak to evolutionary survival. Violent men against your side…well, that’s evolution too, but not the survival bit, that’s the losing bit.

    Liked by 1 person

  77. Cill says:


    Big issue there. I dealt with it recently. How much prolonging of a spent life to allow? She had said several times, “I think God has forgotten me”, and “I just want to go to sleep.” For someone who has been appointed under “Enduring Power of Attorney” to have decision-making power over life and death, it’s a difficult responsibility to work with. You don’t know whether you’ve allowed too much to keep her alive, or not enough. It’s something you will wonder for the rest of your life. You can only hope you did the right thing.

    Liked by 3 people

  78. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    That the option was placed in your hands must give away the fact that professional could not see a rout to recovery.
    You were missed.

    Liked by 2 people

  79. Spawny Get says:

    We’re innocent of this one. Blame Choicy and his mates.

    Just watched episode one on Nutflicks…odd…very.

    Liked by 1 person

  80. Cill says:

    Thanks Fuzzy.

    The most fraught aspect of it was not knowing how long a dying person can hang on. Could she hang on for days, weeks,months, years? None of the medical people could answer “will it be days or weeks?” or “will it be months or years?”

    This lack of certainty weighs heavily on life and death decisions. You could be taking years of life from a person or subjecting them to years of misery as a vegetable.

    I believe they might hang onto life until the time is right. We had spent time beside her in shifts, one at a time. She seemed to wait until certain people happened to be together beside her at the same time, then there was a new sense of peace or relief (or even purpose), and she let go. This might be worth keeping in mind for anyone who finds themselves in a similar position.

    Liked by 5 people

  81. Liz says:

    Your family is in my thoughts and prayers, Cill.

    Liked by 2 people

  82. Liz says:

    It’s never an easy thing to lose a loved one, but it is a blessing to be surrounded by family at the end, as she was. A great lady, with a life well lived. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  83. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I’ll keep that advice about assembly in mind. Thank you.

    Spawny Get,
    I am going in a completely different direction. I am three episodes into a six part documentary on the Spanish Civil War. It hasn’t let up and is still goig on in Ukraine. I had heard that a bunch of Spanish helped the separitists and, when they went home, twenty years in the pokey.

    Liked by 1 person

  84. @ missattempts I agree w choicy, please talk to someone about these feelings. You can have a wonderful life. And you deserve one. Don’t give up!

    Liked by 2 people

  85. Spawny Get says:

    A true Alpha.

    Note to self. Get a sit down gun.

    Liked by 2 people

  86. @ ton I picked up some of the cleaning supers for the routine suggested and am going to follow it. Thanks for the ideas!


  87. Supplies I mean!

    @cill I have heard others describe it that way, when possible (like when its natural causes, old age vs an accident or sudden) people hang on until they say their good yes then let go. She was blessed to be surrounded by love.

    Liked by 3 people

  88. SFC Ton says:

    the proof of violence is the important part

    is that a youtube video Fuzzie?

    My paternal grandfather waited until his 50 anniversary, said I love you to his wife and went home.

    As always Cill, may the Almighty bless you and yours

    Liked by 2 people

  89. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Here you go, Ton, I think the whole thing runs six hours. It seems to have been put together in the eighties while there were still participants to interview.

    So far, one of the big takeaways for me is that it was a botched coup d’etat that devolved into an internal war. A lot of it was citizens againt military.


  90. Tarnished says:


    I hope that whatever life awaits her next is as joyous and love filled as the one she just completed. May the grief of those left behind be tempered by the knowledge that she had a long life that was brightened by your presence.

    Liked by 3 people

  91. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Off topic but good news. Academic fembots are going to be crying.

    I am oing to make a wild guess here. What could well have happened is that college administrators figured out that they would not be able to keep their doors open if they had to continue as Title IX requires.

    Liked by 3 people

  92. Liz says:

    I think this thread should be renamed The Frog of Tingles.
    That speaks to me. 😛

    Liked by 3 people

  93. fuzziewuzziebear says:


    Liked by 3 people

  94. […] fuzziewuzziebear on The Fog of Tingles […]


  95. Farm Boy says:

    There is a new post.


  96. Farm Boy says:

    I have a cousin who worked for a long time in a battered woman’s shelter. The women would come in, decompress, and be started down a path away from the abuser. But when it came time for them to leave, the women would invariably go back to the man that they left. It drove my cousin nuts. She eventually left the profession.

    Liked by 1 person

  97. Liz says:

    “I have a cousin who worked for a long time in a battered woman’s shelter. The women would come in, decompress, and be started down a path away from the abuser. But when it came time for them to leave, the women would invariably go back to the man that they left. It drove my cousin nuts. She eventually left the profession.”

    I’m sure. I maintain these women are outliers in outlier situations with very messed up backgrounds. Most women don’t frequent battered women’s shelters and purposely choose men who beat them up. Not every woman from a messed up childhood is going to turn out like those women either. It depends on a lot of variables…probably mostly genetic temperament (some people are going to be more impacted, others less so), also personal value system (but if that person is from a home without a good value system, more likely in the case of a girl who chooses an abusive person, it’s less likely that would be the case).

    Liked by 1 person

  98. SFC Ton says:

    maintain what you want but women seem to dump good beta men quicker then dudes who beat them.

    everything else is merely rationalization

    Thanks Fuzzie. One more bit of info I need to find time for


  99. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    SFC Ton,
    I am on the sixth episode. It’s a good series.


  100. Liz says:

    “maintain what you want but women seem to dump good beta men quicker then dudes who beat them.”

    There’s a huge disparity in both sample size and personality between the two, Ton.
    A woman who prefers the beater is less likely to dump him…that’s pretty well demonstrated from the results. But there are far, far more women as a percetage who aren’t hooked up with a beater (in the order of hundreds of millions…actual abuse is pretty rare in the first world).

    Liked by 1 person

  101. Liz says:

    I could not disagree more with the underlying premise that hitting women is an alpha trait. Any time I’ve been physically attacked by a guy it has been some skinny-ish douchebag who has low self concept (yes, that)…not an alpha trait. I know Tarn mentioned some large powerful guy roughing her up, but that hasn’t been my experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  102. Liz says:

    Well, I did have a neighbor who looked and acted like Lenny from Mice and Men and he’d punch his sister in the face on a regular basis, for stuff like winning the softball game…or winning at anything over him. I’m pretty sure that family tree didn’t fork though. And I would call lashing out because he’s angry is sister “won” something over him as a non-alpha, insecurity issue on his part. He was also responsible for my catastrophic leg injury (he pushed over a stack of drywall on me…if I’d been one step closer it would have crushed my pelvis and I’d be a paraplegic now. He was a real bastard, and large…but no alpha)

    Liked by 2 people

  103. Liz says:

    He’d punch his sister in the face and then while she was lying on the ground reeling from the impact, he would cry loudly and go home. He was about 200 pounds, and a head taller than any of us. It was quite the image.


  104. Tarnished says:

    Well, he was “powerful” to me, Liz. He was a 19 year old 12th grader (got held back from graduation due to poor marks) and I was a 15 year old 10th grader. He was well known for being a douche and bully, especially to boys and girls who were shorter/smaller.

    In other words, people who would be easy targets to someone willing to be “in your face”.

    And yes…if you think the way to show dominance is to beat people, you’re a loser. Don’t care if you’re male or female. You don’t harm others except in defense. Full stop.

    Liked by 1 person

  105. Liz says:

    Well, I DO think some people deserve a beat-down, Tarn (fighting words, and so forth…even the law agrees). But primarily it should be defense only, and I agree 100 percent “people who pick on easy targets” as a way to show dominance is a loser.

    Liked by 1 person

  106. Liz says:

    Epic fight scene, Christmas story.

    Liked by 1 person

  107. Tarnished says:

    Ok, some people do deserve to be physically shut up. The adults of Westboro Baptist Church and other retarded hatemongers come to mind.

    But this is an exception, certainly not the rule. If someone thinks with their fists instead of their brain, they’re scum. Definitely NOT alpha or a tough bitch whatsoever.


  108. SFC Ton says:

    LOL.but they reproduce more which means alpha the win

    You ladies are fuckered up on this because you are
    A) women and unwilling to deal with reality
    B) equating alpha with moral. Alpha is amoral. It’s what chicks dig/ get wet over. Neither good or bad but a tool. Like a hammer


  109. Tarnished says:

    If alpha is necessarily amoral, then it’s not a trait I need in my life.


  110. Liz says:

    You think that Lenny guy was exhibiting alpha behavior?
    I’d be surprised if he ever got laid (at least, by a willing non-retarded female).
    Most of the guys who were terrible to me for no reason whatsoever in middle school suckered up very fast (aka acted very “nice”) when I looked good in high school. They weren’t nice guys, but I think the sphere would classify them that way.


  111. Yoda says:

    when I looked good in high school.

    Started wearing froggie hat at this time you did?

    Liked by 1 person

  112. Of the alphas I know, most would dump a woman before they’d bother with hitting her. Too much drama, she’s a “next!”


  113. Liz says:

    I can understand hitting a woman who is out of control, or something (and some women, the really messed up ones, actually want to be hit during sex…or so I have been told). I don’t understand why any sane woman would actively choose a thug who beats her. I don’t even disagree with Ton about the ‘violence’ aspect, but I think it’s a more nuanced equation than that. Case in point, my examples. These guys were complete pussies, and they hit girls. The first boyfriend (kissing boyfriend anyway) I ever had was semi-abusive, and a complete asshole, and he was the biggest pussy I’ve ever dated (yes, more so than the fag).

    I mentioned the bullies-turned-to suckers-up above, and I think that often happens for females. It wasn’t the only time that has happened to me, but after high school my experiences with people who have been very unpleasant towards me turning very pleasant (after they find out who I am, or decide they need me) have always been with women. Which makes sense. I’ve always tried to make a character assessment, when I can, based on the way a person acts towards those he or she has no need for.

    I think (respectfully, Ton) you’re looking at this from the vantage point of a person who has never been on the receiving end of life’s metaphorical swirly. You’ve always wanted to “make the world your bitch” and I’m sure that comes across to others and they ipso facto kind of defer to you with respect. I just don’t see you hitting weaker people for no good reason.

    Liked by 1 person

  114. @ Liz agreed I don’t see Ton randomly bullying people to make himself “feel like a man.”

    My former neighbor, the vixen, she’s all hung up on this guy she thinks is alpha but in reality he’s nothing more than a punk. Sure he’s popped her for running her mouth (and trust me, she does not know when to quit sometimes) but he brings a friend to do his fighting against other guys. Total wuss. Has broken every promise ever made to her. I do not know what she sees in that guy at all…he’s not even good looking or buff. But he does give her tingles. So I guess she’s proof, some gals can’t get enough of that toxic reject style lovin’.

    So if tingles are so powerful, what purpose do they serve?

    Liked by 1 person

  115. Liz says:

    Toxic reject style lovin’ 😀
    I like it
    Who is more high value…a swimsuit illustrated cover model or seven times baby-mama land whale? It’s not just about who breeds. Sometimes very low value people breed an awful lot. (insert Idiocracy video we’ve all seen…of Honey Boo boo)


  116. SFC Ton says:

    Spin hamsters spin.


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