A Review of the Movie Trainwreck By Liz
The show begins with a “humorous” childhood “monogamy is unrealistic” father-daughter pep talk. This sets the stage for the subsequent montage as our sultry young vixen heroin bed hops and dutifully (also 100 percent predictably as it is her one-trick pony schtick) throws out cock/ slut/ and “don’t judge me fuckas!” jokes following a series of different drunken binge/drug hit combos.
She “never sleeps over” of course (unless passed out in a drunken stupor). Too intimate. And she is too complex as a person and emotionally fragile. Her place of employment (very spot on) is a rag tabloid of sorts called S’Nuff
Side note: Whether the title was intended to be something along the lines of “that’s s’nuff of that” or “I’ll snuff you out” or an advocacy for snuff films, or perhaps product placement for actual snuff, remains unknown…surely it meant something. Perhaps the humor was too clever and subtle for my helmet rack to grasp.
At any rate, her boss is a stupid crack and a thin version of what will be Amy’s character in ten years time. Flash-forwards there would have been very funny…and perhaps offer viewers-capable-of-thought a moral lesson, but I wasn’t consulted.
All the men are SNAGs, predictably (yes, even the athletes…I think this was a stab at humor as well). The men all want to talk about relationships and get serious with sloppy fifehundredths gurl…but alas, Amy is too “complex and emotionally detached” dear viewers. Plus, she’s selective and discriminating (about…er, stuff I guess…that obviously can’t include her mind or body to include especially her vagina. Maybe she is selective “in spirit”! Yeah, that’s it).
Amy is assigned to do a piece on a high-profile sports doctor because she hates sports (insert a couple of fake sport team jokes, insert montage of Amy and doctor laughing over beers, and stuff). Fast forward to unbelieveable displays of cuntery as the relationship “grows”. To the point she jeopardizes a patient’s health by keeping the doctor up all night bitching at him after leaving to answer her cell during an award presentation that was important to him while he was giving a speech. (but, see, she’s just a complex, emotionally vulnerable person!)
Side note: There are some jokes about how out of shape she is, and those are kind of funny. But the obvious message must be that it’s funny because she admits it but it doesn’t matter because, much like her horizontal life, no one else ever brings it up.
Amy and the doctor fight, she backs off because, dear viewers/readers, she is “afraid of rejection” and “afraid to be emotionally invested” and “misunderstood”. The doctor explains that fighting shouldn’t lead to a breakup, they are just ‘working things out’. But she leaves anyway. Insert obligatory rom/com breakup, insert scene at end of movie where she dances with a bunch of cheerleaders (“see! I’m fun! Don’tcha wanna keep taking my shit? How can you resist what I’ma thowin’ out heeya?”)
She says she “will try REALLY hard” and they kiss and make up while the athletes clap and cheer in the background. LUCKY BASTARD!
Oh, forgot…there was also a scene right before the “make up” dance where she almost has sex with a 16 year old (she didn’t know his age), and he slaps her and she punches him in the face. She lost her job…so I guess she had some free time to come up with the dance routine to “win back” the doctor. The message there was actually pretty red pill in that one respect.