World Views — Part II

In the last post we met BuenaVista’s acquaintance.  Here is the description of her career.

is a senior NGO manager, and travels to exotic locales around the world to “enhance” electoral processes. Next job: Burma.

Her career is a phony, tax-funded moral narcissism thing.

Apparently it is one of those jobs just filled with do-goodness.  Probably she contributes little, if any, net benefit to mankind.  However she undoubtedly basks in the glory of the awesomeness of what she does.  Probably most of her friends and co-workers tell her so.  The question is, does she believe all of the praise?

And the answer is probably yes.  For to doubt it would cause her entire world view to crumble.  And if this happened, she could not work at the NGO any more, for one must be a believer in good standing.  Perhaps her friends would abandon her.  She has much riding on her world view.

Now consider her reaction to BuenaVista’s suggestion,

And incidentally, I asked her, after she stopped crying at one point, if she ever considered going out with guys who didn’t write for magazines or work for the government or prosecute social justice or all the rest of it. Both she and my date (not exaggerating) were stunned. What the fuck did I mean?

“You know, what about a guy who owns five health clubs and has a house on the Outer Banks. What about a guy who has five crews framing houses and likes to fish on his old Bertram. Those kind of guys.”

“Oh, I don’t have anything in common with them.”

“But you might have desire for them.”

“I can’t imagine.”

“Wouldn’t you rather be married to someone you desire sexually?”

“I’m so over that.”

So we have a desperate woman who hit the wall three years ago in a state of panic who can’t properly fund her own old age who just wants to be a SAHM mom, not that that means she’s going to do housework mind you that’s so patriarchal, and the idea of being with a man who doesn’t get invited to the White House Correspondents Dinner is beyond the pale.

To accept what BuenaVista suggests is direct challenge to her world view.  That is why she cannot accept it.  And this is probably why she will continue down the same path, with correspondingly poor results.

Moral of the story — Be careful with where your worldview leads.

P.S.  I have had World Views — Part I ruminating in my head for a while now.  It will be coming out soon.

Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, Hypergamy, Marriage
227 comments on “World Views — Part II
  1. Tarnished says:

    Those who are completely unable to take a step back and honestly critique their worldview do tend to be like this. They are so sure that they are 100% right that even good, heavily supported evidence to the contrary doesn’t even register as a possibility with them. It is a very stagnant way of thinking…


  2. I guess I did not totally understand the part where bv is suggesting the other types of guys and them saying no not interested etc. what’s that about?


  3. Farm Boy says:

    what’s that about?

    Not enough prestige, not enough excitement, not enough association with power, not enough “do-goodism”.


  4. Well that’s silly, isn’t it? 🙂


  5. poseidon740 says:

    “And the answer is probably yes. For to doubt it would cause her entire world view to crumble. And if this happened, she could not work at the NGO any more, for one must be a believer in good standing. Perhaps her friends would abandon her. She has much riding on her world view.”

    I disagree. Whether or not she would be able to continue with her B.S. job if she actually realized that her job was indeed B.S. would depend on her as an individual. There are folks of character who would undoubtedly steer into a new career if he/she came to a new found understanding regarding the efficacial truth of their career.

    Then of course there are many who would continue their B.S. career while smiling non-stop to the bank and to the pseudo-prestige of their contemporaries. We have all encountered folks of this ilk. This is the type of human phenomenon that attracts folks to the red pill.

    “Wouldn’t you rather be married to someone you desire sexually?”

    “I’m so over that.”

    BAD WORD ALERT!!!!!!
    A woman who is trying to land a husband with this attitude is a CUNT.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It’s not so silly. She has made a presumption of who she will find acceptable in terms of prestige and status.
    I hope that you all have gathered that I don’t like NGO gurrrl too much. She is kind of a stinker.
    I am still mad at her response to a question saying, “I am so over that!” She is a little too dismissive.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Farm Boy says:

    I disagree. Whether or not she would be able to continue with her B.S. job if she actually realized that her job was indeed B.S. would depend on her as an individual.

    Perhaps. But I wonder if her co-workers could sense that things had changed. And if they did…


  8. Ok now I am going to embarrass myself totally (what’s new?) but what is a NGO job?


  9. Yoda says:

    NGO stands for Non Govt Organization it does.
    Jobs kinda what a govt might do.
    And often paid for by govt they are.


  10. poseidon740 says:

    That would depend on each coworker, unless she is working for the Borg. If she isn’t working for the Borg, then some coworkers would see through her, some would not. Some of whom see through her would privately play along due to their at least equal phoniness. Others would smartly just keep their mouths shut due to not wanting to rock the workplace boat and thereby not jeopardize their easy paychecks. With non-Borg humans there are plenty of permutatious possibilities.


  11. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It’s an acronym for NonGovernment Organization. Federal monies are handed over to these institutionsm usually charities. in the belief that they will distribute these monies with better effect.
    It’s a little scary because how do we know that they will handle the money scrupiously?


  12. Yoda says:

    She is kind of a stinker.

    Perhaps a skunk video justify this would.


  13. poseidon740 says:

    “She is kind of a stinker.

    Perhaps a skunk video justify this would.”

    I guess better a skunk video then a video with the depiction I used.


  14. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Skunk pranks from Quebec. That explains the signs in French. I thought skunks were North American.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Yoda says:

    Skunk video funny it is


  16. Yoda says:

    Well that’s silly, isn’t it?

    Indeed it is.
    Large reality distortion field protecting Washington DC there would be.


  17. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I still think that NGO gurrrl is a stinker.

    Thhe part about NGOs that worries me is that they can subscribe to an ideology. Government is supposed to be neutral.

    I have to hand it to BV. From one comment, two posts.


  18. Sumo says:

    Skunk pranks from Quebec. That explains the signs in French. I thought skunks were North American.

    …….you know that Quebec is in Canada, right…..? Canada is part of North America……


  19. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I said that as I was certain that Quebec was part of Canada. Are you telling me, that as a Canadian, you are less certain?
    I just had a very mean thought. What would happen if all the students in Western Cnaada decided to deliberately answer all the questions on their French tests wrong?


  20. Choicy says:

    Fair go my mates, some of these sheilas are bloody woeful. What did she think she could expect from her made up job in a made up business full of made up drongoes paid with made up bank notes to push out made up crap to made up pin heads in a made up government in a made up capital city in a country going to the dogs? Mate, all she could expect was to find herself looking in a made up mirror and seeing a pair of made up tits below a made up face and a pair of made up eyes looking back at her out of a made up mind that never made up it’s mind until it was too fucking late! HA HA HA! Is anyone going to come to her aid? Not likely! Let the batty slapper suck it up, me mates.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I have to say “Hi” to say hi because your schedule is so full, you only have a sliver of time with us.


  22. SFC Ton says:

    How many jobs aren’t bullshit jobs?’

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Spawny Get says:

    Ton, true. It’s not black or white, it’s shades of brown

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Spawny Get says:

    “What would happen if all the students in Western Cnaada decided to deliberately answer all the questions on their French tests wrong?”
    already do, in all likelihood.
    I heard the Quebecois accent by accident when I watched a ‘French’ film that I didn’t realise had been made in Quebec. I was living in France at the time. I could catch the words, but I knew something was ‘wrong’ with the accent. I suspect there’s some tension over the difference between the regional and homeland accents. French sounds nicer to me, c’est une belle langue.


  25. Spawny Get says:

    FTR my accent in French is catastrophic, in no way am I claiming to be superior. But mine is so bad, it’s at the point that it’s comic. And they find the English accent ze sexy (as we do theirs). In general, anyway.


  26. SFC Ton says:

    The french? Can we shoot em yet? Or do I have to wait until they are haijjis?

    Only European military I have nothing good to say about.


  27. Liz says:

    You’ve worked with French military Ton?
    I didn’t know we did much together, outside of Djbouti.


  28. Spawny Get says:

    The boss of that place…hard to work with? Sheikh d’YaBooti…nice or no?

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Liz says:

    Is that pronounced Sheik Ya Booty? 😛


  30. Spawny Get says:

    Ton, well I can’t argue with your lived experiences 🙂
    And unless a French guy turns up here, I see no point arguing that I enjoyed playing with their man-toys at a club over there…so they’re not ALT


  31. Spawny Get says:

    Or Shaked Ya Booty…your call


  32. Liz says:

    Word is he makes everyone work their ass off…

    Liked by 2 people

  33. missattempts says:

    Dear Tarn or anyone else who might be interested:
    Thanks for your caring advice about being “touched.” I know it comes
    “Straight From The Heart,” from the song of the same title by Bryan Adams.
    He was a little before your time. He REALLY knows how to work a love song.
    I think, however, you are getting your own needs confused with mine.
    You have said, that you recoil from touch. “Touch” is a topic of recurring interest
    to you. You STILL don’t trust your F.W.B. enough to let him touch you? Is it
    straight to the bed? You want to prolongate the sexual act. What happens after?
    Do you go off to another bed or the couch? I mentioned the songs “Sometimes
    When We Touch,” by Dan Hill and “Why Can’t I Touch You,” by Ronnie Dyson.
    You are hypersensative on this subject. You had nothing to say. Is there a solution
    for YOU?
    In any case, I regret that your advice for me is impossible to follow. I SHOULD be
    dead. I have been “dead” for many years. I have been “buried” in a manner of
    speaking. When I finally die PHYSICALLY, it will be rather anticlamatic. My body,
    will have caught up with my soul. There are two good films on this subject:
    “Carnaval Of Souls” (1962) about a woman passenger in a car that falls off a bridge.
    She manages to get out of the car. But did she REALLY get out? And “Deathdream,”
    (197?) about a soldier who “returns” from Vietnam. He also is “dead,” he reeks a lot
    of mayhem, and finally goes to the cematary to bury himself. It was so sad to see
    his mother’s frantic efforts to stop him.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Yoda says:

    I heard the Quebecois accent by accident when I watched a ‘French’ film that I didn’t realise had been made in Quebec. I was living in France at the time. I could catch the words, but I knew something was ‘wrong’ with the accent

    More French than the French they are.


  35. Yoda says:

    She has made a presumption of who she will find acceptable in terms of prestige and status.

    How much prestige and status one does need?
    A Jedi seeks these things not.


  36. Spawny Get says:

    “More French than the French they are.”

    More French than the Paris and Marseille mecs? Hmm (mec = guy)

    Speaking of Paris, have you seen the movie ‘Brick Mansions’?
    A Detroit cop, but filmed in Montreal

    Well…it’s a remake of District 13 / Banlieue 13 which I have to say I preferred (and there’s a sequel to the original).

    The French make some goood films.
    The French (original) TV series of ‘The Returned’ was much better than the wan American remake.


  37. Spawny Get says:

    “How much prestige and status one does need?”

    Daft question. Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy

    More than the prestige and status of
    a) herself
    b) her frenemies (female)
    c) the partners of her frenemies

    The point being that you elevate her status above everyone she knows or might come to know.


  38. Liz says:

    My son’s SAT score came in this morning. 700 reading, 650 math.
    Looks like he’ll be taking it again (for math). He’s really upset, outside punching the bag now. In my day, that was a really good score.


  39. Yoda says:

    The point being that you elevate her status above everyone she knows or might come to know.

    Important for what reason this would be?


  40. Yoda says:

    They are so sure that they are 100% right that even good, heavily supported evidence to the contrary doesn’t even register as a possibility with them.

    A human failing this is.
    How to counter it one can?


  41. Yoda says:

    Common feminist world view this is,


  42. Liz says:

    It’s her “That’s not funny” face.
    Also, alternately, her….

    “That’s very funny” face
    and her
    “That’s interesting” face
    and her
    “I’m going to write an angry letter” face
    and her
    “I’m really turned on right now” face
    and her
    “I’m having an orgasm” face…

    Kind of like the “many” expressions of a basset hound.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Liz says:

    “Kind of like the “many” expressions of a basset hound.”

    Make that armadillo. I like basset hounds.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Yoda says:

    Perhaps like Spock she is.
    But much less intelligent she would be.
    And much more of a victim she believes


  45. BuenaVista says:

    I think her tits are kinda low. Her fingers look abrasive. Pass.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Tarnished says:


    She can’t possibly be an armadillo. They are too cute, like snuffly armored piglets.

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Liz says:

    That’s adorable, Tarn! I had no idea armadillos were so playful. 🙂

    It looks kind of like one of those rolly-pollys when it closes around that toy. 😛


  48. Liz says:

    “I think her tits are kinda low. Her fingers look abrasive.”

    But other than that, ALL she has to do is accessorize and she’s perfect!!!


  49. People who “seek” status always make me uneasy. It is just a bit too clammoring. Because of what I do, peoople will try to treat me as if I have status, and I am very uncomfortable with that. I do what I do because I enjoy it, not because I wand to Lord it over others. If people respect me because of who I am, I am ok with that. But because of what I do? No.

    Case in point, something else I love is gardening, so I signed up for the Master Gardener training and have been a member of that group for years. Again, I did it because it interests me, I wanted to study plants more formally. There are a subset of Master Gardeners who seem to have taken the training solely so they can be “better” than “regular gardeners.” These ladies love to toss around the Latin names and act high and mighty. Blech. I have no time for them. The whole purpose of the Master Gardener program is to teach MGs how to help people with their garden problems and questions, not to create some elite “I am better than you” status. Anyway…my rant o the day. 😉 Takes all kinds, I suppose.


  50. Yoda says:

    Doing good things important it is.
    Status from doing supposedly important things is not.

    Liked by 1 person

  51. People who seek status, and external validation, strike me as very insecure. I know what I am good at, and what I am not. Those things don’t make me better or worse than others. I guess it is a hierarchy thing? Which also has always seemed like a total waste to me. I often feel like a weirdo!

    However, when it came time for the woman who had run the Master Gardener program for 20+ years to retire, who did she ask to take her place? Me! I had no idea she liked me that much and it took me entirely by surprise. I was too busy with my other ventures to do accept, but was very honored and flattered she asked.


  52. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Jessica Valenti is a good subject to observe with respect to her appearance. She is not dressing to appeal to men or the masses, she is dressing to appeal to feminists. So she is plain to the point of just shy of ugly Everythig she wears has a minimum of flash and is deliberately chosen to avoid jealousy from women.


  53. Spawny Get says:

    Doan kno nuffink bout sats, Liz. Hope he does better next time. Physics as a degree is maths, something to ponder. May he do as he wishes and what he enjoys.

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Liz says:

    Thanks, Swithy. I know. And he knows. 😦

    He has no idea what went wrong with the math…he can’t think of anything he missed, and felt very confident after the test. It’s really, really a bummer for him.


  55. Liz says:

    Just to add,
    Thanks again, Swithy. He will try one more time and we’ll see.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I am still haunted by NGO gurrrl’s word “I am so over that.”
    I hate to say it but, what the heck are women doing trying to start a relationship if they have little interest in sex. When Tarn said there may be as many as 40 to 701 percent of the women out there who feel this way, IT’S A BIG PROBLEM.
    I would counsel a moritorium on marriage until a defense against this could be found.

    This is big enough to be worthy of a series of posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Yoda says:

    Spreading it is,

    Here’s one example of how the problems with affirmative consent manifest: An earlier version of the bill stated that “affirmative consent must be ongoing throughout a sexual activity and can be revoked at any time,” thus requiring accused students to prove that they obtained consent for each and every sexual act separately. The final version attempted to resolve this problem by cutting that language, but it fell short of resolving the issue because it still states that “[c]onsent to any sexual act or prior consensual sexual activity between or with any party does not necessarily constitute consent to any other sexual act.” While that statement would be uncontroversial in a system where the accuser was required to prove the lack of consent, when the accused bears the responsibility of proving consent, as is the case under this law, that language in essence is a requirement that the accused be able to prove repeated agreements to engage in each separate act.


  58. Spawny Get says:

    I remember a major maths exam where I had to answer five questions out of fourteen. I didn’t like 1,2,3… I got to reading question 14 before I knew I could get the answer. I ended up answering five okay, but it was squeaky bum time for a while there. Never panic…it can come right. Chin up to Sr Jr.

    Liked by 1 person

  59. Liz says:

    Fuzzie: “I am still haunted by NGO gurrrl’s word “I am so over that.”

    I recently felt a bit traumatized reading an entry by a newlywed “red pill girl” (manosphere female person anyway) espousing the joys of marital “voluntary celibacy”.
    Apparently it’s not just for the middle aged “strong independent career types”. Weird stuff. Really. REALLY.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It must be uber competitive to qualify for college now. I thought 700 verbal was perfect and 6510 math not too bad.


  61. Liz says:

    800 is a perfect score, Fuzzie. 650 wasn’t bad in my time. I knew a guy who got a full scholarship to Georgia Tech back in the day with about the same scores. Not now.
    He needs 700, min in math.


  62. Liz says:

    For the schools he is hoping to attend, I should add.


  63. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Now, don’t tell me but, I’ll just bet she was the one who got to volunteer in this “voluntary celebacy”?
    After reading Farm Boy’s link, don’t let your son reside in a dorm at a university.
    Is there anyway he can commute from home?


  64. Liz says:

    “Now, don’t tell me but, I’ll just bet she was the one who got to volunteer in this “voluntary celebacy”?
    Lol, I don’t know Fuzzie. I’m assuming.
    It was especially strange coming from a person who has been around the sphere longer than most (longer than I have, for sure).

    We’ll cross the ‘dorm’ bridge when we come to it, Fuzzie. Whether he can commute or not will depend on where we end up by that time next year. 🙂


  65. @ Fuzzie, while I agree that those are dismal figures, I am not so sure a mass solution will be found to the female sexual dysfunction/non-function issue. The causes are complex and multifaceted, as discussed on the last thread. There is no one size fix all solution. Perhaps how Liz’s hubby handled it, going in, saying “this is important to me and I expect XYZ” may be as good a way for individual men to confront the situation? Women respond better to seduction in this case than demands. Nothing kills the mood faster than “it’s your duty” sex. Doing one’s duty doesn’t have to be astute and dull, better to take a cheerful “whistle while you work!” approach to it. Also, probably way too much TMI, but one of the quickest ways to kill the female O is to put pressure on it. I hear a lot of women complain they wish their partners would just relax about that, it’s not a barometer of his performance in the same way it might be if a man could not climax. The harder everyone tries, the more elusive it becomes. Many women admit to faking orgasms just to assuage their man’s ego, but problem is then it’s not real and there is less chance figuring out to “really” make it happens with each time. Open and honest communication between the parties involved is always good when it comes to boom boom. I don’t know why it is so taboo, I really don’t.

    Liked by 2 people

  66. And I think Tarn is on to something with the better to take a “hot fudge with extra whipped cream” approach to such matters than a “water and gruel” one. Sex is something to be enjoyed by all involved, not endured.

    Liked by 2 people

  67. Spawny Get says:

    Liz, (just to be clear) I’m not saying don’t do physics. I am saying never surrender. Maybe it was a learning experience (though the specific object lesson evades me). I would say, don’t do physics unless you love maths. One of my favourite ever pieces of software that I took from commercial real world problem to software that worked back in the real world was maths from start to finish…loved it. But the problem wasn’t the maths. The solution was. Vector triple products and iteration iirc. I like maths as a tool, just not to be everything.

    Software then was much more fun. Don’t know about now. We made cpus out of discrete chips. Amd 2900 series. Programmed microcode on old steam powered 78rpm record decks with valve amps before clockwork transistors made them archaic yet cool. The old carbs being much more fun than direct coal injection…

    Or perhaps I’m getting too old and just got confused 😉

    Talk to him, let him work it though. This isn’t life ending.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Spawny Get says:

    Damn! Haven’t had a hot fudge sundae in decades, boy do I fancy one right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Spawny Get says:

    No subtext there, I mean dessert.


  70. theasdgamer says:

    I hate to say it but, what the heck are women doing trying to start a relationship if they have little interest in sex.

    Welcome to the reality of betabux.

    Liked by 1 person

  71. theasdgamer says:

    Liz, the scores are ranked regionally. I also know a first-rate SAT coach/tutor.


  72. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    Well, go get one. I’ll bet it will be the best you’ve had in years and just as good as your remembered.

    What NGO gurrrrl is doing would be enough, under Roman Catholic standards, to get the marriage annulled. Annullment is there as a recourse if a marriage is entereed into fraudulently.
    Bot only is hhe trying to marry fraudulently, once married, he is locked into her sexually.
    How many times can a guy get burned with the same match?

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Liz says:

    “What NGO gurrrrl is doing would be enough, under Roman Catholic standards, to get the marriage annulled. Annullment is there as a recourse if a marriage is entereed into fraudulently.”

    Well…the fraud so far is only hypothetical.
    She hasn’t yet found a lucky guy who is willing to latch onto…er, all that. Yet. She might not be able to (at least not one who lives up to her list, and without sexual attraction she won’t be willing to deviate from the list).


  74. Yoda says:

    New post there is.


  75. BuenaVista says:

    Liz, just have him take some SAT prep courses until he scores to his objective. It’s a racket.

    My daughter went to a high school that people in Korea immigrate to the USA to attend, then lose their minds trying to gain admittance to all eight ivies. She had perfect SATs (800, 800, 800) and couldn’t get into the U of Virginia. She’ll be a ceo before she’s 30 if she wants to be. My son is smarter, according to Johns Hopkins, but tests badly. It’s all a racket.

    Leading to this. This chick went to TJ also. So she just made up a story of her super awesome awesomeness:

    Liked by 1 person

  76. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    While I haven’t read them all, there does seem to be a common theme with a lot of the campus rape hoaxes-dorm rooms and, to a monor extent, frat houses, but, mostly, dorm rooms.

    Buena Vista,
    That’s too much competition for something that would lead to six figure debt with uncertain prospects.

    Betas are the weak link in the AFBB tactic. Betas have to volunteer.

    I am starting to think something isn’t kosher over these numbers. Forty to seventy percent of the female population can’t be sexually dysfunctional. How would we reproduce?


  77. Tarnished says:


    Technically, female orgasm in and of itself isn’t required to attain pregnancy. The numbers aren’t indicative of an inability to reproduce…they’re talking about the nonenjoyment of sex due to lack of pleasure.


  78. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Thanks for clearing that up. I didn’t know that was the defining characteristic.


  79. Tarnished says:

    Yup. It’s understandable that women who can’t orgasm or are detached from their arousal stages see sex as a chore. How many guys would have sex if they could get only half an erection, or could pump away as much as they wanted by had no chance of attaining the “paradise stroke” as Cill likes to call it? I can honestly state that a huge part of my libido is the knowledge I’m going to be satisfied no matter what…If I didn’t have that certainty, I’d probably have a greatly reduced sex drive.


  80. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I still have a problem with someone like NGO gurrrl who is aware and would hide it from her beau. That’s cold. That’s enough to send me back to the cave for some serious head scratching.

    Liked by 1 person

  81. Tarnished says:

    She may not necessarily be hiding her lack of libido at all…She could genuinely see it as unimportant. If this were the case, it’d not only explain a lot about how women like her view marriages but also how absolutely screwed up their “knowledge” regarding adult males truly is.


  82. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    You just said a whole lot. Would someonr this removed from her beau be fit to live with?
    More head scratching.

    Liked by 1 person

  83. Tarnished says:

    Whether her lack of libido is psychological, physical, or some combination, she owes it to herself and him to either pursue an asexual mate who won’t mind or to acknowledge this issue. Rereading through the core post though, I see she has been having sex with her beau…which means she’s not asexual herself and likely just sees sex as a tool. This is very different than someone who has legitimate sexual issues. In other words, she’s not I’m the 40-70%…she is just cruel.


  84. Liz says:

    Bloom: “Nothing kills the mood faster than “it’s your duty” sex.”

    Lol! I know. This is such a reoccuring theme in the sphere (on female sphere forums in particular), but for me “duty sex” sounds like writing a family death notification of something.
    “Time to do your grim duty”.

    If I was on the receiving end of “duty sex” I think I’d rather watch Bonanza reruns (or even Fonzi jumping over that shark tank).


  85. Liz says:

    I don’t think the NGO lady is intentionally cruel to her (as of yet unknown and completely hypothetical) future mate. She’s just drank the koolaid every other SIW has drank and believes in assortive mating with the guy who looks good on paper (and the status aspects that go with that) rather than the guy she’s actually attracted to.

    It never stops surprising me how many people make so many problems for themselves, for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

    Liked by 1 person

  86. Liz says:

    One more thought on ‘duty sex’ I guess it sort of stands to reason if women (even some sphere women, apparently) believe in duty sex for marriage rather than attraction, they’re going to also peddle the “voluntary abstinence in marriage” line.

    “Oh, honey, your stuff is SO good you don’t want to do this too much with me. That’s excessive. I don’t deserve it. Make me beg for it. I sure will!…eventually…maybe.”


  87. Liz says:

    Just to add, I DO believe that a wife owes sex to her husband in marriage.

    But I find it very very difficult to believe that a woman who blogs and actually CALLS IT “duty sex” isn’t making that shit up. I’m not sure what the incentive is, perhaps attention whoring or something, but there is simply no such thing as HOT “duty sex”.

    I’ve explained that my husband and I have different libidos (not a lot of people could keep up with his), and I’ve adjusted, but I don’t think of that as “duty sex” and would never call it that. I want to make him happy, and that makes me happy. To use a food analogy sometimes sex is like fast food at the drivethru, and sometimes it’s like a decadent five star meal. Duty sex would be the type of food you could put in a dog bowl and the dog wouldn’t eat it.

    Liked by 1 person

  88. Liz says:

    Just wanted to post five in a row while I’m being excessive…..

    Liked by 2 people

  89. Spawny Get says:

    Liz – reset

    now you restart at 1

    Liked by 1 person

  90. Spawny Get says:

    “the type of food you could put in a dog bowl and the dog wouldn’t eat it.”

    OUTRAGE! My with expertise gastronomique… that barely happens daily.

    Liked by 1 person

  91. theasdgamer says:

    Liz, silly girl, duty sex is underrated. Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it. The end of a matter is better than the beginning.


  92. Liz says:

    “Duty eating is underrated.”
    “Duty fun is underrated.”
    “Duty vacations are underrated.”
    “Duty sex is underrated.”

    I’ll just have to take your word for it, Gamer. Seems to me when the word ‘duty’ is applied, the enjoyable becomes ipso facto drudgery.

    Liked by 1 person

  93. theasdgamer says:

    Silly girl, eat your brussell sprouts and your beets.

    Surely, sheila, you get peeved at Mike on occasion and your libido then goes on vacation.


  94. Liz says:

    But brussell sprouts are good!
    Beets….no f*ing way. 😉


  95. Tarnished says:

    I can’t speak for Liz, Gamer, but on the very rare occasions I’m frustrated with my guy it’s pretty much business as usual with my libido. When you love someone, you love them…even if they push your buttons from time to time.

    It’s not a fickle “feeewing” that comes and goes based on how your SO has acted that day. It’s the underlying current/physical side of unconditional love that makes you sigh, shake your head, and smile with acceptance instead of yell, cry, argue, or try to change their personality. Plus there’s the fact that sex really is just awesome, and it’s difficult to be pissed about him forgetting to order dinner when he frickin promised to if he’s lying naked on the bed…already waiting…*ahem*

    Gods damned sexy mens, using your bodies like that, lol. So manipulative!

    Liked by 1 person

  96. Tarnished says:

    I don’t know, Liz…Beets by themselves are gross, but prepared in a good, hearty borscht? Yum!


  97. Liz says:

    I’m trying to think of a time when I was cross with Mike and it came down to ‘duty sex’, but it escapes me. I can’t think of any time. We’ve had our angry fucks, our makeup fucks, and so forth, but I can’t think of any “damn…I don’t feel like it and I’m mad at you but I guess I’m supposed to…” fucks.


  98. Liz says:

    Never tried borscht, Bloom. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  99. Tarnished says:

    Ah HA! I knew it!

    Liz, there’s been numerous times when you’ve said things to “Bloom” but you’re actually talking to me…See above for a recent example, lol.

    Is my avatar not showing up properly, guys? 😕


  100. Tarnished says:

    Also, yeah…”duty sex” seems to truly refer to a chore. Not something one does out of love.

    Liked by 1 person

  101. Liz says:

    “Liz, there’s been numerous times when you’ve said things to “Bloom” but you’re actually talking to me…See above for a recent example, lol.

    Gah! Sorry Tarn.
    I do see your avatar, not sure how that happens.

    Liked by 1 person

  102. Tarnished says:

    It’s cool. 😀
    Certain conversations make a lot more sense now though. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  103. SFC Ton says:

    SAT scores; has grade inflation devalued the score results? In general though I would say everything is much more competitive today as we are living in a time of scarcity. Something else the tradcons dont seem to grasp

    A woman who seeks status can be a danger but a man who doesn’t…. well that’s an inherent part of healthy masculinty. Without that drive a man doesn’t add up to much. Much depends on how how he goes about it of course but status makes a man’s life much better

    Liked by 1 person

  104. theasdgamer says:

    I wonder if insecurity plays into it. Bloom and Liz, have there ever been any times when you had sex and were insecure about your love’s commitment to the relationship?

    Liked by 1 person

  105. Tarnished says:


    Are you actually asking Bloom…? 😛 😀


  106. theasdgamer says:

    Tarn, I meant to ask you, but maybe Bloom also has some input.

    Liked by 2 people

  107. Liz says:

    “I wonder if insecurity plays into it. Bloom and Liz, have there ever been any times when you had sex and were insecure about your love’s commitment to the relationship?”

    I can’t remember, Gamer…that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.
    We’ve been married a long while so it probably has, but nothing comes to mind.
    I could be compartmentalizing. I don’t really think about difficult times we’ve had at all (there haven’t been many, but we’ve had some).

    Liked by 3 people

  108. Tarnished says:

    No problem, was just wondering.

    I guess the idea of being insecure doesn’t occur at all. I’m well aware he goes to massage parlors and strip clubs when he has a little extra pocket money…maybe once every 4 months? But that’s no cause for worry at all, I understand very well how it is to have a high libido and be thinking of sex all the time. I can’t take advantage of mine the same way he can yet…but it’d be selfish of me to want him to only have eyes for me. We aren’t married or dating, we don’t control each other, we don’t share finances, we’re both free to do as we wish. (Within reason of course, we are both responsible healthy adults after all.)

    If there were children involved, it would be an entirely different story though. Children need stable families with 2 parents.

    Liked by 1 person

  109. Lol how did I miss all this?

    @ gamer if you mean does libido or desire (in a ltr/marriage/committed relationship) for sex wane when a woman doesn’t feel loved? Or when she thinks he’s about to bail? Probably. Not feeling bonded or that the relationship is in a good space probably decreases libido.

    Otoh sometimes it might go the other way in an attempt to re-bond.

    It’s probably pretty situational.

    Liked by 2 people

  110. Tarnished says:

    Or when she thinks he’s about to bail?

    I could handle it if my love decided he wanted to commit to an individual woman and no longer wanted to have sex with me…I’d have to go out and find a new FwB, but there would be no resentment about his happiness. However, I’d be absolutely crushed and heartbroken if he no longer wanted to be friends. My friends are closer to me than 99% of my family. It would be as though they died, if I couldn’t see them anymore.


  111. All this talk about sex is making me…ahem! Waaaaa! Being SIW is no fun. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  112. Tarnished says:

    Awww. 😢
    That really sucks, Bloom. I’m so sorry.


  113. No worries Tarn, being dramatic. When it is meant to be, it will. Worth waiting for.


  114. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Rear video to take your mind off of it.

    I am glad that I held off. Yesterday, you ladies were defending NGO gurrrl.

    Liked by 1 person

  115. Tarnished says:

    Yesterday, you ladies were defending NGO gurrrl.

    Did I miss something, or is this intense sarcasm? 😕


  116. Tarnished says:

    Another cute “rear” video 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  117. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    You out-cute-ed me!

    Liked by 1 person

  118. Tarnished says:

    I win! 🏆🏁

    Liked by 1 person

  119. Tarnished says:

    This is cute, too. A puppy has hiccups for the first time, and tries to scare them away with his little baby growls!

    Liked by 1 person

  120. @ fuzzie I think perhaps you maybe confuse us explaining what she’s thinking with defending her. As women we can all see what her reasoning is, but I don’t think any of us are saying it is sound reasoning, if that makes sense?

    Liked by 2 people

  121. Spawny Get says:

    Was going to say that I didn’t see anyone sticking up for her. Attempting to picture her ‘thought’ process isn’t the same as condoning it.

    Liked by 4 people

  122. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Pretty intelligent and intelligible too!

    Liked by 1 person

  123. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Maybe I was a little prone to expect “Team Woman” to circle their wagons. What NGO gurrrl is up to is no good. It’s bad all the way around.

    Liked by 2 people

  124. Cill says:

    Fuzzy, I saw a circling of wagons too. How else are we to read this one?

    Liked by 1 person

  125. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    There is that but, tarn came back the next day and had some harsh things to say about NGO gurrrl.
    I have seen the “circli8ng of the wagons” before. Generally, they are about giving the benefit of doubt. This gets a little much in Christian settings when a woman is on her second or third out of wedlock pregnancy.

    Liked by 1 person

  126. molly says:


    I’m going out tonight.
    Hey Fuzzie Wuzzie look ->

    🌯 🌯 🌯 🌯


    Liked by 1 person

  127. Tarnished says:

    Lol. Very funny, Fuzzie and Cill. 😛 😛

    “Circling the wagons”, indeed. You know very well I was simply giving a more in depth explanation to Fuzzie, given his confusion here:


  128. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Have lots of fun!
    I can’t see what you’re pointing to. 😦


  129. molly says:

    I’m going out tonight. Goodnight Fuzzie.

    🌯 🌯 🌯 🌯

    Do you see the graphic images this time Fuzzie?

    I have to go

    Your friend Molly 🙂


  130. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    No, I can’t see the images. Thanks for trying.
    Have fun while you’re out.


  131. molly says:

    Fuzzie! Cya 2morrow. Bye!


  132. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Till tomrrow! There is something that I forgot. 🌯 🌯 🌯 🐻 🙄


  133. Spawny Get says:

    Re teh wagon circling
    I don’t care that such women have libido issues. Or rather, I care as much about their issues as they do about men’s issues; somewhat less than sweet f.a. Let them live their lives without sex that they don’t like, or get themselves some help…whatever.

    What I do find enervating is that they feel entitled to play bait and switch on guys to get them into marriage in the full knowledge that the vast majority of men only get married for sex and reproduction. That’s flat out immoral, or maybe amoral. That’s the FI at work. If they don’t know that about men then they’re working very hard at willful ignorance, or they have no empathy for others (female autism?).

    I didn’t see anyone circling the wagons on the second part.

    All I did see was people saying that there are women as described in the first part.

    And may the Great Cat Goddess in the Sky have mercy upon their souls. Or in the second case (married via fraud) where their souls should be.

    Liked by 4 people

  134. @ spawny agreed. I think it’s inexcusable for anyone to fake desire until marriage then afterward have no interest. That’s totally unfair. I can see why men would be wary bc of that possibility too. How do you know if you are getting NGO guuurl? That’s a good question.

    Liked by 3 people

  135. Tarnished says:

    Such truth.
    Much agree.

    Liked by 1 person

  136. BuenaVista says:

    “How do you know if you are getting NGO guuurl? That’s a good question.”

    Simple. If she’s not desperate for your one and only, and particularly if she has a past, steer clear. Only women, who otherwise are your alpha widows, make good partners.

    Of course most men have no idea what an alpha widow is, and most women believe their own bullshit about transcending their need for good sex. But then those men wind up married to a woman who *will* step out, and lose her mind if she finds a man who rocks her. He’ll walk into the bathroom at inopportune moments and for some reason she’s shooting nude selfies with her phone.


  137. Yikes bv! That was quite the image! :/


  138. Here’s what Heartise has to say about spotting a quality gal.


  139. BuenaVista says:

    Even ‘quality girls’ lose their minds when encountering transformative sex for the first or second time. And quality girls marry “good guys” and before you know it, it’s “I love him, but I’m just not in love with him” time. (Or the utterly fallacious “We just have mismatched libidos” trope that is beaten to death, above.)

    Two married women sent me nude selfies this week. Admittedly, one has always been a party girl, and her male-dominated profession enabled a lot of crazy time. So hers was not worth as much, though I must say, her tits are aging extremely well. But the other one is a low-N Good Girl. She sent me half a dozen. Including some … errr … damp close-ups. Along with requests that I leave her spent, limp, and “bloody”. A third, divorced, offered her contribution last week, while I was visiting a fourth. These are all grown-ups with jobs, and I’m a broken-down ‘mature man’ with metal body parts.

    The SMP is bedlam because random sexual experimentation is held to be ‘brave and empowering’ for women as they throw off the shackles of the patriarchy. So anything goes, and every woman wants to check the box.

    I was watching the Nationals game last night, so wasn’t texting with great alacrity with the woman who supposedly is visiting next week. So she wrote “OK, fine, I’m going out for a few hours.” I’m just curious if I should interpret that any differently than I do, which is, “OK buster, I may be a high profile government official, but I’m going bar trolling alone and you figure out the rest.”

    Roissy and his ilk are always promoting the selection of virgins to minimize relationship risk, but since there aren’t any, much less any over age 30, I think there are two attributes that men should solve for, if they are interested in an LTR or marriage: low-N, and her eyes roll back in her head when she is having sex with you, prior to begging for more.

    I won’t even date someone who isn’t a potential alpha widow; the last time I did (five years ago) was more than instructive enough. She cycled me from friendzone to FwB zone and I was over my head. (In my defense she is 6’1″, a tomboy, and model thin.) Ominously, and instructively, it turns out I’m her plan B. She would marry me now if I allowed it. But what I know now is that I would always be plan B (maybe C or D), and her heart, and libido, would always be divided. A blue pill man would kick up his heels, wife her up, declare victory, and get used to rubbing them out in the shower.

    Liked by 1 person

  140. theasdgamer says:

    Feeriker over on Dalrock’s blog expressed elegantly what men ought to assume: “She’s just not into you.” Until a man can disprove that, his safest course is to assume that she’s not into him.

    If she’s not desperate for your one and only

    Just because she wants you to be exclusive doesn’t mean that she will necessarily be exclusive. Not sure if that’s what you’re saying. I don’t see how you can know that she will be exclusive to you. Hypergamy. What I look for is whether a woman is chasing me. That’s the tell. If she’s chasing me heavily–not just when I’m around her–then she’s into me.


  141. Tarnished says:

    I won’t even date someone who isn’t a potential alpha widow
    Um…Am I reading this correctly? You *won’t* date anyone who is *not* an alpha widow?

    and her eyes roll back in her head when she is having sex with you, prior to begging for more.
    I’d add the clarification of her also wanting the same for you. My love used to be with women who were purely receivers, not givers.

    Along with requests that I leave her spent, limp, and “bloody”.
    Is…is this supposed to be erotic? 😕


  142. BuenaVista says:

    No, you’re not reading it correctly.


  143. theasdgamer says:

    I never get nude selfies, but I don’t text much and assume that whatever I say will be on the Jumbotron. Hence, I don’t sext. My sexualization is with subcomms (think eye-flirting and smiles–unconscious and natural for me) and some of my life stories and jokes.

    If you want nude selfies from women, you have to sext. Not a good plan for married men since they might be used against those men in divorce court.


  144. Tarnished says:

    Ok, so you meant “I won’t date anyone who potentially *is* an alpha widow.” Yes?


  145. Tarnished says:

    I don’t see how you can know that she will be exclusive to you.

    You can’t. Nobody, either man or woman, can be 100% positive that their SO is exclusive to them.


  146. @ bv I think you just want to argue 😉 ok you are right. There are no quality girls. (Except Liz!) So now what? Where from here?

    P.s. why are you talking to married women?

    Liked by 2 people

  147. Tarnished says:

    Liz is best wife.
    All wife awards automatically go to Liz!

    Liked by 2 people

  148. Spawny Get says:

    I luvs ya, Bloom. Having seen how much red-pill info you’ve taken on the chin, you have my respect.

    Liked by 3 people

  149. theasdgamer says:

    Ok, so you meant “I won’t date anyone who potentially *is* an alpha widow.” Yes?

    Potentially *will be* an alpha widow–to BV.

    Liked by 1 person

  150. Tarnished says:

    Ah…okay. Thanks Gamer. It was phrased weirdly to me.

    Bloom is best potential wife! She will be a fantastic red pill spouse. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  151. Thanks for the vote of confidence Tarn. I think if I ever do remarry, spending time w the redpill will definetly help. I have learned a LOT about men/relationships/life here. More women should read this stuff!


  152. Cill says:

    “you have my respect”. Mine too.

    The smp is a sleazy place. Find a wholesome woman. Sleazebags take pains to present themselves as wholesome. So how do we separate the wheat from the chaff? Round and round we go.

    By nature I’m a wholesome person who has encountered some unwholesome people. I’m better at avoiding them now, but still don’t like to be reminded of them.

    Some comments I’ve read on this blog have helped.

    Most women I met outside of Western Europe, North America and Australasia, were not sleazebags.

    Liked by 1 person

  153. I know, if I do remarry I will finally break my rule of no nude selfies and will send my first one ever to my new hubby! Fun!


  154. theasdgamer says:

    I’d venture a guess that Bloom is fairly tall–maybe 5’7″ to 6″1″. Bloom, how’d I do?

    A woman who is tall has a problem seeing attractive men unless Preselection factors in. A woman who is 5’7″ is looking for a man at least 5’10”. It gets worse the taller a woman is. However, that is just initial attraction, which lasts until a man approaches, then goes away. If a man is shorter and is heavily preselected, then the man’s shortness generally won’t matter. The same goes for his looks.

    There’s a 6’3″ pretty German blonde I know who gives me IOIs whenever she sees me. Other tall women have done likewise from time to time. So, my experience (limited empirical evidence) tells me that height isn’t necessarily a limiting factor. Still, a short man has to have looks (muscular build and/or handsome features) and/or Game to overcome his height deficit.

    I think that Ton is correct that the potential for violence is very important. However, the potential to gather resources is also important (which hunting will provide) and hunting requires violence, though not necessarily a muscular build. Farmers need muscles, too. UMC types need head “muscles”.

    Social skills–especially political skills–have the potential to allow a man to recruit allies to defend him and this also speaks to violence. Status in the herd for men helps in this way as far as women’s analysis is concerned. High status men can recruit allies to help them when danger threatens; women know this subconsciously and therefore seek the protection of a high status man.

    Game helps with political skills. Political skills trump personal skills in the long run, but personal skills are immediate. If the context is chaotic (war, rampant disease, famine, etc.) , personal skills are more critical. If the context is ordered (civilization), then political skills are more important.


  155. Better yet, maybe he can take the photo and I can send it to him, ahem, later … Selfies are so akward!


  156. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I am sorry for all the confusion that my “circling the wagons” comment started. Bloom, Trn, Liz, and Molly don’t do that.

    You never fail. If this is what women put a top tier man through, perhaps I am blessed.


  157. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t think tht there will be any need for selfies. Not when the real thing is at home.


  158. Liz says:

    “Liz is best wife.
    All wife awards automatically go to Liz!”

    Whoa. Thanks Tarn! 🙂
    I’m the only married lady in the group!
    Gah! The pressure. 😛

    (random OT anecdote)
    My (only living) brother from my Dad’s first marriage just finished visiting with his family. He looks so much like my Dad. Mike mentioned it, too. Their mannerisms are even the same. It was so nice to have family visit out here.

    Liked by 2 people

  159. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    To add to what BV said about the SMP being bedlam, there is the underlying factor that ALL women only see top tier men as potential. In a market that lopsided, chaos is boud to ensue.


  160. BuenaVista says:

    RPG, I didn’t say there were “no quality girls.” In fact I offered two of the attributes that define quality girl for me. So perhaps it is you who wishes to argue? There *is* a lot of concern trolling this morning.

    To your other question, one contacted me out of the blue; I hadn’t talked to her for a couple of years; I gather she wanted to update me on the status of her 39 year-old boobs (I’ve known them since they were 23, and my word they’re doing well) and personal grooming habits (not a fan of lasering). More seriously, she is an alpha widow and I am probably (in her mind, not mine) her Plan B. There’s probably something going on with her man, so women being opportunistic, she’s seeing if she should downshift into hypergamy mode … The other correspondent is someone I’m in love with, I suppose, but won’t marry. So this is how she tortures me. It helps a lot if I’m drunk.


    Tarn, extremely “erotic”: “My fantasy: to be ravaged, used up, completely spent sexually … to be one man’s property … I need to let go for once and defer to authority. I would like it and I need it. Hot sweaty, frothy maybe even bloody sex if you took me in my virgin ass.”

    So, yeah, I’d say that’s pretty erotic. Especially considering it comes from an alpha female.


    Cill, I was lost with the dames until I developed a filter, and lately the filter seems to quite accurately predict results, as well as fit prior successful and unsuccessful experience. Before I had a filter I was just a prisoner of infatuation and bad (post-feminist, sexually ‘progessive’) ideology.


    Fuzzie, I think slender tall women are glorious when nude, so I have zero problems with their selfie compulsions.


  161. BuenaVista says:

    RPG: “selfies are so awkward.”

    Dearest, if you’d like to practice, I believe you have my email address. I’ll reciprocate, of course, and share a pic of my newly reconstructed obliques!

    Liked by 2 people

  162. Yoda says:

    So now what? Where from here?

    Come to Degoba you could.

    On second thought, probably not a good idea it is

    Liked by 1 person

  163. BuenaVista says:

    Fuzzy: “there is the underlying factor that ALL women only see top tier men as potential.”

    Of all the Red Pill truisms, this is the one I utterly reject. Women certainly have requirements in a man, but looks are the lubricant, not the engine, of desire. Too many RP guys have bought into this deterministic fallacy, and compound their frustration by justifying defeatism.

    Liked by 1 person

  164. Cill says:

    I’ve got a pretty good idea of what BV’s filter is… I think.
    asd’s as well.


  165. BuenaVista says:

    Liz, offhandedly, implies one of the most important attributes (IMO) of a proper filter for Quality Girls: a strong relationship with, and admiration for, her father.

    Given 50% divorce rates, this is a rarer occurrence today than it should be. But this attribute has proven 100% accurate in my search for a unicorn. Conversely, a woman at odds with her dad, or just unknowing of him because he got thrown out of her life by mother and State, is searching for something she cannot articulate or understand. And these tend to be truly desperate women.

    Again, just my opinion, and YMMV.


    I would add that a feminist single woman has a tendency to say, “You must have a great relationship with your mother” in her checklist search for a man. Actually, what she’s really saying is, “You must know how to take orders from a woman.” Proverbs 31: never give your strength to a woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  166. BuenaVista says:

    I only have five attributes in my filter, Cill. I’ve revealed three of them today, and demonstrated a fourth. Kudos if you guess one of the remaining two.


  167. BuenaVista says:

    I think Spawny should enable in-message photos, and then we’ll really get this party started.

    Liked by 1 person

  168. Padawan says:

    Neither of the remaining 2 will be this:

    Can’t Laugh At Herself (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    Alas! I have nor hope nor health,
    Nor peace within nor calm around,
    Nor fun in laughing at myself
    The maid in meditation found.


  169. @ bv thanks for the offer but I don’t think my future hubby would like me emailing you nude selfies, even in the name of educational practice, so I won’t. Plus, sounds like you have quite the collection already! 😉


  170. Spawny Get says:

    A good part of the reason for registering a domain and setting up a server for it was to allow for more bolt ons to the wordpress software. AV hosting etc. Real life has caused me to take my eye of of that transfer.


  171. Spawny Get says:

    A very normal height, Bloom. Bien joue

    Liked by 1 person

  172. BuenaVista says:

    RPG, you should reconsider and just imagine the sense of empowerment, transgressive edginess, and revolutionary Lena Dunham-ness you are foregoing. Also, you won’t get to see my reconstructed obliques, which I should think would cause you great regret.

    Last year on this day I had five tubes and wires coming out of my bloated, IV-flooded, black and blue torso, my face unrecognizable, unable to sit up without punishing vertigo, so forgive me if I prattle. I can’t believe I’m alive, much less sitting on my front porch now shirtless. (With a glass of riesling, obviously.)

    Liked by 2 people

  173. Spawny Get says:

    “my face unrecognizable”
    It’s still unrecognisable. I wouldn’t know you from Adam.

    Must look at getting my wine stocks up again. Mmm Riesling

    Liked by 1 person

  174. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It’s not defeatism when conclusions are based on the whole of your life experience. The sky is blue, grass is green.


  175. I am very glad you are still with us BV. Cheers to that!

    First to wife me up gets the photo, and the rest, sorry those are the rules! 😉


  176. …she fruitlessly says on a mtgtow board! Lol! Sigh….


  177. BuenaVista says:

    Yeah, RPG, you need to haunt and OKC, not these RP boards, if you’re man-hunting.

    Of course, the manly men are here, not there. The conundrum!


    Fuzzie, I absolutely reject the premise, which is also based on my entire life experience. Dig deeper.


  178. BV I think you should post a pic of your obliques for all of us to enjoy!

    But seriously I am very happy you are alive and well one year later. Cheers, again!


  179. Sumo says:

    Oh, we’ve reached the “request pics” part of the program, have we?

    Well, allow me to break the stalemate before I head off to work:

    Feel free to drool.

    Liked by 4 people

  180. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “…she fruitlessly says on a MGTOW board! Lol! Sigh…”
    I think you are respected here. That it is a MGTOW board does len itself to respecting you.

    Liked by 1 person

  181. Farm Boy says:

    Must look at getting my wine stocks up again. Mmm Riesling

    Speaking of Rieslings,

    Liked by 1 person

  182. (Bloom wheels in a huge cake for BV with a “1” candle in the middle) hey everybody, join the party! 🎂
    Ok maybe that cake is not so huge, but it’s the thought that counts! It’s a magic cake that makes many slices, see?


  183. Farm Boy says:

    Probably Fuzzie Bear would eat half of those

    Liked by 1 person

  184. Choicy says:

    It was a while until the light flicked on in me bonker, that with this blog the latest post is seldom the active post. Why is this?

    I’m drooling over Sumo’s picture. Any chance I can print it off with one of those 3-D printers mate?

    Bloom could have a go at printing a 3-D bloke. I think a sweaty 3-D digger with a corker hat would be a good head start for a sheila to kick off her manhunt. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  185. BuenaVista says:

    Bloom just needs to post a profile that states, “I’m hot, I’m frustrated because I’m not a slut, I’m done with children, and I need a man who acts like a man but can carry on a conversation at dinner every night. Also, I want separate bank accounts, and I doubt you have more kinks than I do, so there.” She’ll need a full-time nanny to cover matters at home while she vets the suitors.

    Of course, if she has good pics — present shyness does raise the question — it will be bedlam, rather than just busy.

    Liked by 2 people

  186. Choicy I have been meaning to ask about your hat, are those corks? What is their purpose?


  187. BuenaVista says:

    A buddy, also a former software CEO, dumped his life savings (diminished, uh, because he is divorced twice), into a Riesling vineyard. This vineyard is less than five years old. It was named one of the 50 most important vineyards in the world by Wine Enthusiast, and #239 one of the top 100 wines in the world — AFTER FIVE YEARS OF PRODUCTION.

    I bush hogged this lawn, with my little boy in my lap, three years ago, running an old Deere 3020:

    You can buy this Riesling on their web site or at Amazon.

    Liked by 2 people

  188. @ BV I am tempted to post that just to see what happens! Lol.


  189. Liz says:

    Oh, my.
    Farmboy’s Posh Nosh there actually made me laugh out loud.
    My sister-in-law (the one who just left), is a true food and wine “snob”. She thoroughly educated me on wines and cooking.

    I felt almost like Uncle Eddie (from National Lampoon). We don’t have a lot of high quality kit for cooking (since we eloped and didn’t have a registry or anything like that, plus we’ve moved a lot).

    I’m a great scratch cook, but I don’t know anything about hifalutin stuff or French words that go with chopping styles, and so forth. I did make them some tuna and mahi mahi in minutes they were pretty impressed with, but it’s all more “feel” than actual knowledge.

    She does walk the walk though. According to my brother she has served every single meal cooked from scratch every single day since they got married (same year as us, early 90s). She’s a vegan too.

    Thanks for your kind words, BV. Your posts today made me first a little weepy about the “admiration of fatherhood” bit, and then smile with subsequent anecdotes. Like Bloom, I’m very very happy you are healthy and “still with us”. 🙂

    I’m reminded of the summer I met Mike. My Dad was in the ICU with some broken ribs after his accident on some ninja motorcycle that did all sorts of damage. He had been hit by a truck. That was the last motorcycle he ever owned. He was 68 years old.


  190. Choicy says:

    Bloom thanks for the inquiry about me hat. In Australia we have more flies than a warehouse of zips. Diggers dangle corks around the rim of their hat brims for the purpose of the corks swinging around on the strings when we move and in the wind. The theory is it will scare the flies off our face, however Aussie flies are quicker learners than humans mate.

    Liked by 1 person

  191. BuenaVista says:

    Broken ribs suck. What’s funny is when you ask the physician, “Exactly how many broken ribs do I have?” and he shrugs, “It doesn’t matter, probably 7-8.” As do the associated pneumothoraxes. I have had the pump on both sides of my torso now. I miss my motorcycles every warm day. Though as a retirement project I am in the mix to go back to Africa and fly crappy little planes close to the ground (as apparently only Russians are willing to do it). With luck they will have five-point belts.


  192. BuenaVista says:

    I don’t understand why there are flies in the desert in Oz. Here they tend to congregate where there are dead animals and manure.


  193. Choicy says:

    Most of my desert has some sparse vegetation here and there. The vegetation gives a few animals ability to survive and where there are animals there are flies. I think the biggest controller of flies in the Aussie outback is dungbeatles. A man can survive on flies for food in the outback, although I’d prefer food by Sumo if I had a choice 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  194. Choicy says:

    The time is 2 a.m. in the land of Oz so it’s sleep time for Choicy until another day of sweaty yakker tomorrow. It never stops mate, day after day after day. Shit I’m sounding like a victim now and that’s the last thing I wanted. Goodnight.

    Liked by 3 people

  195. What are you able to farm there under such dry and sparse conditions choicy?


  196. Oops, I posted that too late. Gnite!


  197. Cill says:

    Choicy farms cattle sheep and camels. Because of the huge scale of the place it’s work-intensive to say the least. He’s an expert stockman and horseman who spends a lot of his nights under the stars. The sheer scale of his place is difficult for outsiders to take in. Next time, Choicy might give us an idea of just how big his place is in square miles.

    Liked by 1 person

  198. Liz says:

    “Though as a retirement project I am in the mix to go back to Africa and fly crappy little planes close to the ground (as apparently only Russians are willing to do it). With luck they will have five-point belts.”

    Please don’t go (BACK?! why the heck were you ever there?) to Africa to fly crap planes, BV.
    Fly some non-crap ones here instead. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  199. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Thanks for your reports on the current SMP.hey do tend to confirm what I suspect and make the picture even more grim.

    I saw this at Vo Day’s
    There’s no help there.


  200. @ fuzzie I thought the advice at the end was sound. That guy was go ing what one girl (who had a boyfriend already) way too much brain space. Few strike a home run first time up. Look at me! If anyone should be beaten down by bad luck, it’s me. But I simply refuse to go there. If I stop believing its possible, I’d be as good as done. Not that it’s my place to give you advice, but life is what one makes it!


  201. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    You’re all right. Thanks.
    BV suggested online dating. From talking to a few women, I have come to know that the downside for women is very much different than for emn. Too much attention from the wrong quarrters-shot term if you want long, men outside of your age range with very persistant young men. I don’t think that you would like it.


  202. @ fuzzie I don’t think I would either. I said that sort of in jest, I did try it for about 6 months several years ago and found it to be like a bunch of bad akward job interviews. And while my no hanky panky rules kept me out of trouble, I have heard horror stories of people finding out who the person said they were often was not who they were (aka Unmarried). Plus, I don’t have time for all that. Maybe if nothing else pans out, this winter once things slow down. But probably not…I didn’t care for it.


  203. Yoda says:

    if I do remarry I will finally break my rule of no nude selfies and will send my first one ever to my new hubby!

    Revealing this would be.

    Liked by 1 person

  204. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    That is the big horror for girls. I just saw a youtube video about Tinder and, it said that thirty percent of their people are lying about their relationship status. Far and away, the worse offenders are women. I guess it’s the ego gratifacation that they are after. Add to that, if they don’t meet, who’s to know? Perhaps, that may have been part of the frustration for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  205. BuenaVista says:

    Online dating is nothing but a virtual cocktail party. It’s fine with me if you don’t go to mixers, but it’s kind of silly to then complain about limited social circles.

    Vox’s correspondent is a self-involved pussy. His life isn’t tragic, it’s a normal life for a pussy who thinks people should love him for his precious preciousness. He needs to get out there and get a few skinned knees, if not broken bones, and earn his own happiness. If that’s too terrible, well, tough titty.

    Liked by 2 people

  206. AT Spawny’s request, I am posting a link to a new blog post at RPG:
    Female fertility does have a use by date

    Liked by 1 person

  207. BuenaVista says:

    It’s unlikely I’ll qualify, Liz, given the age and medical issues. But I’m finding “retirement” a bore. Mrs. Smith and others have promised to help. There’s about 2,000 miles of ground over there no American foreign service or civil service officer wants to serve, so, as Ton knows well, that’s where the contractors add value.

    My great-great-aunt started the first women’s college in China (Fuchow). (Her last name’s different, so hahah you can’t out me.) She had her adventures before that, including in the Boxer Rebellion, escaping one awkward situation in the hold of a British ship. She retired to this prairie town, living with my great-grandmother, but couldn’t take it. So she returned to China in her seventies, in 1930. The Japs arrived in ’31 and put her in a concentration camp and killed her. I admire her very much. Life is to be lived and relinquished when the time comes, not hugged like a stuffed animal.

    Liked by 1 person

  208. Liz says:

    BV: “Vox’s correspondent is a self-involved pussy. His life isn’t tragic, it’s a normal life for a pussy who thinks people should love him for his precious preciousness.”

    I was thinking something similar…well, not quite so harsh, but it sounded to me like he doesn’t have many friends (if any friends) in general at all. Perhaps his behavior toward others (which he acknowledges, briefly) has been self-defeating and isolating.
    If just he had guy pals to hang out with, it would probably help his outlook a lot in all respects.

    Liked by 1 person

  209. Liz says:

    You have such and interesting family, BV.
    Makes me want to make up some shit so mine sounds super cool too! 😛

    Which type of “crap plane” would it be over there? Mike was interested in flying one of the new ones in Afghanistan a while back, when he was doing contracting work with MQ9s and growing weary of it. That was when they were first talking about getting them (A-29s, I think?). But he changed his mind and did something different, thankfully…


  210. Yoda says:

    Trampoline bear kind of looks like Fuzzie Bear he does

    Liked by 1 person

  211. That’s funny Liz, I think being half Italian sounds pretty cool too! I know your mom is a challenge, but going to Italy as a child etc. sounds fascinating! Your life today does not sound too dull either, actually 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  212. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    We all have a limit. That bear reached his. It’s good that he was handled by competent people.

    About Vox Day’s post. That guy lost 102 pounds and who knows what else before looking for a girl. He finds a fickle airhead. Any body would be set back.


  213. @ fuzzie losing 102 pounds for a particular girl or an expected reward from her alone was his mistake. Losing 102 pounds for himself, so he could have her or any girl, anytime, as he saw fit… That would have been a better mentality? Oneitis error?

    Liked by 2 people

  214. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think he was well on the way to losing 102 lbs. before he met her. The point I was trying to make is that, after doing things that would improve his chances dramatically, he can’t catch a break.

    You’re up late. It’s time for me to turn in.


  215. BuenaVista says:

    I wanted to offer a literary recommendation to Liz and others with boys. James Salter died 10 days ago; I think he was the finest pure stylist of the past 50 years, and certainly an artist of both an elevated sensuality and masculinity.

    Of his books, “Solo Faces” is a novel (derived from a screenplay that he wrote for Redford that went unproduced) loosely based on the life of the American climber John Harlin. It’s luminous writing, but it’s also a user manual for life. I gave it to Son #1 when he finished college and he agrees.

    The Hunters and Cassada are early novels he wrote surreptitiously while still in the Air Force (he flew 100 combat missions in F-86s in Korea); they concern the flying life. While an early work, and very prosaic compared to his later work, some regard “The Hunters” to be the finest piece of fiction ever written on combat flying.

    Robert Mitchum starred in a Dick Powell movie of The Hunters, which badly departs from the novel and becomes a hokey combination love story and escape plot. However there are great flying sequences in The Hunters — the best I’ve ever seen — with the Super Sabres and MIGs; I’ve never seen scissors (dog fighting maneuver) on screen before, and I think we get a couple here. It’s on Amazon.

    John Harlin: he fell off the north face of the Eiger at 31, attempting a first ascent, but was probably the greatest American climber. He also flew Air Force. Harlan’s on the left:

    Liked by 2 people

  216. BuenaVista says:

    Some quotes from Solo Faces, in no particular order:

    1. “A breed of aimless wanderers can be found in California, working as mason’s helpers, carpenters, parking cars. They somehow keep a certain dignity, they are surprisingly unashamed. It’s one thing to know their faces will become lined, their plain talk stupid, that they will be crushed in the end by those who stayed in school, bought land, practiced law. Still they have an infuriating power, that of condemned men.”

    2. “In the morning he woke among peaks incredibly white against the muted sky. There is something greater than the life of the cities, greater than money and possessions; there is a manhood that can never be taken away. For this, one gives everything.”

    3. “What he had done, what he would do, he did not want explained. Something was lost that way. The things that were of greatest value, that he had paid so much for were his alone.”

    4. “As for Rand, he had had a brilliant start and then defected. Something had weakened in him. That was long ago. He was like an animal that has wintered somewhere, in the shadow of a hedgerow or barn, and one morning, mud-stained and dazed, shakes itself and comes to life. Sitting there [with Cabot], he remembered past days, their glory. He remembered the thrill of height.”

    5. “There was something he had to tell her. He was leaving, she said. She could hardly hear him.


    He repeated it. He was going away.

    “When?” she asked foolishly. It was all she could manage to say.


    “Tomorrow,” she said.”


    Rand reawakens and returns to the mountains; he loves women and is admired by them but is not owned or directed by them; he achieves the solitary peace and purity of integrity and intention on the high faces. I’ve often, also, read this novel as though the solo faces themselves were the writer’s blank sheet of paper, waiting for him each morning.

    While Salter has been perhaps the most celebrated writer of sentences for the past 40 years, I notice now, in looking at critical notes, the usual concern trolling about “misogyny” and “male narcissism”. This is new; ironically, Salter perhaps best exemplifies the dictum to “always show, never tell” with women, because he draws complex portraits of men and women in love and sex who are not the same, who do not parrot our current social conventions; the women receive and submit to their men, none of whom are “manageable”; the women trade out and up, their men; all relationships are as tenuous as they are profound. Until recently Salter’s portraits of men and women in love have moved every woman I know profoundly; now they must tut-tut about the archaic socio-sexual dynamics.

    Liked by 2 people

  217. Liz says:

    Thanks for the recommendation, BV.

    Solo Faces will be on our summer reading list. 🙂


  218. theasdgamer says:

    I don’t envy BV the nude selfies he gets. My input is more tactile and socially tricky. And they present puzzles. Let me explain.

    Last night I was dancing at a venue that caters to UMC types. The event was a latin dance party–my first time at an event like this at this studio. The venue is a dance studio in the burbs. Lots of mirrors, chandeliers, low round tables with table cloths. An excellent sound system. Upscale. Free wine. Free appetizers.

    The crowd was mostly 50s and 60s. I knew a lot of them. Lawyers, teachers, a women’s shoe salesman, IT types, etc.

    A lot of the people there know that I’m married. Wine was free and available, but dancers don’t drink much wine, so people were sober. A married man has to be discreet in that environment–he needs plausible deniability. Otherwise he will get snubbed in sundry little ways.

    This being a latin dance party, bachata was part of the mix. In clubs, bachata is danced sensually. Close. That isn’t the case for this dance studio. Bachata is danced with distance between the partners there.

    I asked a pretty slavic brunette to dance bachata; I had danced bachata with her previously at a club. At that time I wanted distance between us and she walked off the floor–a snub. I didn’t know the club rules for bachata. The woman had interpreted my behavior as a snub. She later apologized for walking off the floor, so she was back on my dance partner list.

    The woman again wanted to dance bachata close, but I saw trouble for me if I went along with that. In dancing, the woman gets to choose the distance. However, if an unwritten distance rule gets broken–i.e., a married man dances close with a strange woman–then the man will still be blamed for breaking it. So, I let distance open up between the woman and me. She was Ok with it this time and wasn’t offended.

    In clubs, a woman who dances bachata close with a man has to feel comfortable with him and attracted to him at least somewhat. The woman is attractive and it would have been fun to dance bachata close with her and maybe we will at a club sometime.

    Oh, being autistic and married brings inhibitions. Dancing close with an attractive woman doesn’t guarantee an erection. I experience no desire even if the woman is desirable without an effort of will on my part. So, a woman might not experience all that she she wants and expects to with me. Then, she might feel scorned and cheated, perhaps. How do I deal with this?

    This is a puzzle for me. Do I explain to the woman subtlely, somehow, what is going on, telling her about my autism? Do I ramp up my desire?


  219. Tarnished says:

    Gamer, I’m confused.
    Are you essentially saying you’re worried about offending dance partners during close-contact dances because you won’t have an erection? Is this something that’s normally expected in close-contact dancing, or just something that you believe this particular woman thinks her male dance partners should have? 😕


  220. theasdgamer says:

    When a woman dances bachata close, it seems to me that she wants to feel desired along with the comfort from the sensation of cuddling.


  221. Tarnished says:

    Missattempts on the 25th:
    Sorry, I didn’t see your comment until now.

    I think, however, you are getting your own needs confused with mine.
    Nope. Everyone needs some form of touch. It simply varies in the amount needed, or how one can get it (contact with pets is enough for some people, but others need hugs from family every day, and so on).

    You have said, that you recoil from touch. “Touch” is a topic of recurring interest to you. You STILL don’t trust your F.W.B. enough to let him touch you? Is it straight to the bed?
    I mean, we hang out as friends pretty regularly too. We go to the movies, eat out at restaurants, sit on my couch together to play videogames, sometimes cook in his (small) kitchen…It’s not like I need a foot of distance between us unless we’re having sex. Brushing up against him or being in close proximity isn’t uncomfortable or painful. I don’t know if that answers your question? What other kind of touch is there to have?

    You want to prolongate the sexual act. What happens after? Do you go off to another bed or the couch?
    No. We remain on the same piece of furniture, but do not cuddle. Maybe hold hands for a minute, but that’s it.

    You are hypersensitive on this subject. You had nothing to say. Is there a solution for YOU?
    Yes. Force myself to endure touch from others, which I’m attempting to learn how to do, slowly.

    In any case, I regret that your advice for me is impossible to follow.
    Why? Do you have such amounts of social anxiety that even going for a regular massage or haircut is prohibitive? If so, perhaps you have some learning to do as well…You aren’t dead. You owe it to yourself to live like you’re alive.


  222. Tarnished says:


    Do you consider it your job as her dance partner to help her feel desired?


  223. Liz says:

    I guess you could do this. Just don’t go through airport security. 😛


  224. theasdgamer says:

    What I have learned about bachata…

    in clubs, it is often danced in the close embrace, while in dance studios, it is danced in an open style involving more turns.

    In my application, my follower was inappropriately close since we were at a dance studio. She was a little giggly and smiled a lot, so there was likely some attraction.

    Questions in a girl brain:

    1) How does he feel about me?
    2) Does he think I’m pretty?
    3) Will he commit?
    4) Does he desire me?

    It behooves a man to not answer these questions until a girl has significantly invested in him. Applied to the case of me and the girl I danced bachata with–she likely wanted an answer to #4 and it was good that I played my cards close to my vest.


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