Recently BuenaVista in the comments stated,
Last night I listened (for two hours) to the tales of woe of a woman who shudders at the reality that her dream may not come true. The outline is familiar to all of us, so trite I could be accused of pandering or narrative spinning. It was pathetic and familiar; I opened a few bottles of wine to get through it.
a. is a senior NGO manager, and travels to exotic locales around the world to “enhance” electoral processes. Next job: Burma.
b. is 37.
c. is never-married.
d. has a MASTERS DEGREE YAY!
e. has a big rack and wears revealing blouses.
f. doesn’t own her apartment and in fact is worried because her roommate is leaving; i.e., she lives paycheck to paycheck despite being a professional, middle-aged, and single.
g. can’t figure out why her 55 year-old boyfriend (whom I know vaguely; he’s a fit, Washington political pundit with a great home) went ghost on her after four months. All she did was say, ARE WE GOING TO GET MARRIED OR NOT!
h. can’t figure out why it was a bad idea to have drinks with me and my date (her girlfriend) for two hours and then go over to former boyfriend’s house for dinner and jacuzzi.
i. came onto me at a mixer once, while my date (her girlfriend) was in the room.
j. giggled when I invited her to spend the night with my date and me once.
k. talked about two things for two hours last night: her troubles with her ex-boyfriend, who freaked out when she put the hammer down after four months; and which expensive exotic locale she should visit with my date in July (when travel costs are at their zenith). Note: this is a woman who doesn’t own a home despite not having any dependents or college loans, after working for 15 years, and is worried about how she’ll make the rent after her roommate leaves. But, Corsica.
Okay, she doesn’t understand. She’s been doing the sex-tour thing for 15 years, her career is a phony, tax-funded moral narcissism thing, she’s got a negative net worth, she’s 37 and she’s running out of eggs, her face is a pleasant six, her body is a labored six (she’ll be huge before long), and Mr. Right Now won’t fall on his sword and marry her because she fucked him for a couple of months. (Mr. Right Now is probably saying, “I barely recovered from the last divorce, and this chick wants half of my duplex condo, because we had some laughs for a few months.”
My take is straightforward. Deti and Ton’s cohort of responsible men have no market for their SMP wares because the girls in that cohort believe the bullshit that the party never ends; it just restarts at the appropriate time with a guy who has a balance sheet, shoulders, infinite patience for feminine patter, and a member that causes them to say during missionary that “It feels like it’s all the way up in my throat.” Women often confuse silence with acceptance, or confusion. The silence of the deltas who are invisible to women at 29? That’s the silence of self-awareness and social sophistication.
The reality is more like the “very successful” NGO gurrrl above. She’s broke, one month from being evicted, two years from hitting her sell-buy date, unable to contemplate July without a week in a travel-hero destination. In five years her magnificent breasts will be around her waist. As I opened, a manosphere cliche. But this all happened last night. Not a single detail invented. In fact, I read to the girls a short story by James Salter, illustrative of about 25 red pill truths, and if I gave you their response to that, this post would make your brain explode. (Salter, America’s finest stylist of the past 50 years, combat fighter pilot, screenwriter for Downhill Racer (which made Redford) and my literary hero and former neighbor, died last week.)
Oh. And incidentally, I asked her, after she stopped crying at one point, if she ever considered going out with guys who didn’t write for magazines or work for the government or prosecute social justice or all the rest of it. Both she and my date (not exaggerating) were stunned. What the fuck did I mean?
“You know, what about a guy who owns five health clubs and has a house on the Outer Banks. What about a guy who has five crews framing houses and likes to fish on his old Bertram. Those kind of guys.”
“Oh, I don’t have anything in common with them.”
“But you might have desire for them.”
“I can’t imagine.”
“Wouldn’t you rather be married to someone you desire sexually?”
“I’m so over that.”
So we have a desperate woman who hit the wall three years ago in a state of panic who can’t properly fund her own old age who just wants to be a SAHM mom, not that that means she’s going to do housework mind you that’s so patriarchal, and the idea of being with a man who doesn’t get invited to the White House Correspondents Dinner is beyond the pale.
If I sent her a text now saying, “I just want to get married to an innocent girl with smarts like you and I think we have a lot in common” I would be doing the hurly-burly on her no-doubt crappy sofa in 25 minutes. Young men being ignored by such women have the right idea.
Later, he elaborated further,
There’s no evidence she understands why she is 0 for 238 with men, and incredulity met my suggestion she change her approach. Women in this group believe Sheryl Sandberg, not their own eyes, or their own diaries. They are wedded to their own sense of entitlement to be honored and cherished for the things they honor and cherish in themselves, including their delusions.
One way to look at what is going on here is through the perspective of Alpha Fux / Beta (But Hopefully Alpha) Bux; now being brought out into the open by Sheryl Sandberg
When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious.
Apparently Ms. Sandberg is expressing the game plan for a large swath of women, BuenaVista’s acquaintance included. It would seem that women believe that this plan is viable, otherwise they would not be executing it. But how viable is it? What combination of conditions must be in place for it to work (the Bux part)? Here are some attributes to select from. How much of each would conceivably make it happen for her?
4. Education level
5. Prestige of current job
6. Current wealth
7. Good sex for him
9. Prestige of University
10. Fun factor