Spawny does ‘literature’


Great news everyone!  The fourth book is out.  Literature rolls over in its cold, lonely grave…Grey is back…And may teh great lord Spawny have mercy on your soul if you read it

For your reading pleasure WTF? experience

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“My green car is fuzzy. Covered in grey fur and dirt. I want it back. But I can’t reach it. I can never reach it. My green car is lost. Lost. And I can never play with it again.”

“I pore over the executive summary for the hundredth time since I received it two days ago, looking for some insight into the enigmatic Miss Anastasia Rose Steele.”

“‘Mr Grey.’ His handshake is limp, like his hair. Asshole. ‘Wait up – not the Christian Grey? Of Grey Enterprises Holdings?’ Yeah, that’s me, you prick.

“She has a fresh, wholesome fragrance that reminds me of my grandfather’s apple orchard.”

“‘I’ve got this,’ she says, disappointment ringing in her clipped tone.”

“She regards me dispassionately and regret flares in my gut.”

“Dude. I need to get out of Seattle this weekend. This chick is all over my junk and I’ve got to get away.”

“My voice carries, cold and sinister, in the relative quiet, while I struggle to contain my anger.”

“She’s oil on my troubled, deep, dark waters.”

“Miss Steele is a carnal creature. She will be a joy to train. My cock twitches in agreement.”

“Picking up my latest read, I settle on the sofa. It’s a book by two renowned economists who examine why the poor think and behave the way they do.”

“‘Just put the ice in the glasses.’ With my chin I indicate two glasses. ‘It’s a chardonnay. It’ll be more drinkable with the ice.'”

“‘Please pass me my sweatpants,’ she orders, pointing to them. Wow. Miss Steele can be a bossy little thing.”

“‘Suck me, baby.’ She sucks my thumb….hard. F—.”

“I’ll leave you with a quote that has always resonated with me. And I’m paraphrasing a Native American saying.”

“Enforced socialising has stretched the limits of my patience and I need to work off some excess energy. And I need to think about more.”

“I forgo the Cristal and the Dom Pérignon for a Bollinger, mostly because it’s the 1999 vintage, and chilled, but also because it’s pink.”

“Her words douse the fire of my anger.”

“She looks radiant. My cock agrees and stiffens in greeting.”

“Kavanagh throws me a question about future-proofing. I let him know that we’ve recently acquired a company that’s an innovative, dynamic player in fiber optics. I don’t let him know that I have doubts about the CEO, Lucas Woods. He’ll be gone anyway. I’m definitely firing that idiot, no matter what Ros says.”

“’What would you like to send?’ ‘Bollinger La Grande Année Rosé, 1999 vintage.’ ‘Yes sir. Anything else?’ ‘What do you mean, anything else?’ ‘Flowers? Chocolates? A balloon?’ ‘Balloon?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘What sort of balloons?’ ‘Well…they have everything.’ ‘Okay. Good idea – see if you can get a helicopter balloon.’ ‘Yes, sir. And a message for the card?’ ‘Ladies, good luck in your new home. Christian Grey.’”

“Bastille is from the hard-knocks school of physical training, which suits me fine.”

“This calls for – what did she call them? SHOUTY CAPITALS.”

“My snort is derisive.”

“Clams, Mr Grey.”

Grey: the worst lines from the new Fifty Shades book more there, if you can stomach it

It seems chapter 25 is a doozy.  ‘the whole thing’ is part of ‘the worst lines’

 

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Posted in Fun, Trainwreck, Why, WTH
97 comments on “Spawny does ‘literature’
  1. missattempts says:

    Tarnished is our special treasure. Her birthday is tomorrow. Will she ever
    return? Who knows? In any case, would someone please post, “Bless The Beasts
    And The Children,” from the Carpender’s in honor of her birthday?
    I think it describes her experiences and viewpoints.

    Like

  2. Spawny Get says:

    Tarn is mostly absent due to work (AFAIAA). I look forward to the return, even though last time I got abuse

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Liz says:

    I’m still in denial that this many people are this stupid.
    It must be a conspiracy. I don’t know what the conspiracy is, or what possible motivation the ‘powers that be’ would have for this level of ruse, but I’d rather believe robotic overlords have control than this.

    Like

  4. SFC Ton says:

    People or women? Reckon the #1 evidenced women shouldn’t vote is housewife porn .most especially 50 shades of grey

    Like

  5. Spawny Get says:

    Ton, I would say that my porn is no great shakes…but I probably wouldn’t get a laugh, so I’ll not bother.

    It’s such a curse that my alleged comedy genius is not recognised as it should be.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. poseidon740 says:

    Interestingly, in a sub-culture of India, puppy is considered a delicacy. The cooking/preparing of puppy is tantamount to our cultures of preparing pork ribs.

    Just saying………..

    Like

  7. Spawny Get says:

    Just saw a great comment on the article that I linked to yesterday, says it all in response to a typical femeroid bitch

    Also, a word to the wise.

    I went my own way over a decade ago. All your shaming tactics and little digs are pointless with MGTOW. I have no buttons for you to press, I don’t care what you think about anything, because to care is to be exploitable by you. Seen all of your run of the mill toxic comments over and over again over the years…because at the end of the day…that is all you have. As soon as shaming tactics and snide comments don’t work, you have nothing. Have you not realised why people here don’t care what you say? You have nothing to say to men. You have no hold over men awake to reality in this gynocentric society.

    All your spite does do is show other guys that are in the process of waking up, what kind of creature feminists are. How much women just do not care about men. How society sees men as providers for women to be roped in and exploited.

    And they see that your tactics don’t work, that men have no need to listen to your type…and they google MGTOW / MRA / PUA / MOO and they’re gone too.

    And if you think I’m too harsh, you should check out the attitudes of the up-coming generations. Those bought up under your misandric regime. You have seen nothing yet, I’m one of the nice guys 😉

    Like

  8. Spawny Get says:

    “puppy is considered a delicacy”
    sounds a bit ruff.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. poseidon740 says:

    Perhaps only the ruffians in India embark on such a dish.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Cill says:

    “I would say that my porn is no great shakes”

    Really? I would’ve said your porn is bang on mate.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Missattempts,
    Here you go.

    Tarn, Hppy Brithday!

    Don’t watch the movie. It’s a tearjerker.

    Like

  12. Spawny Get says:

    Cill, I’d give you a knuckle bump, bro…but I’m busy

    Like

  13. Cill says:

    “but I’m busy”

    You can be a calloused bastard at times 😄
    (lol)

    Like

  14. Spawny Get says:

    Callouses? a problem of the past

    I have a best mate called Dremel.

    Like

  15. Cill says:

    For instance, I didn’t notice you joining in on wishing Tarn a happy birthday…
    😉

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Cill says:

    Callouses are a problem of the past for me too. And I didn’t need no Dremel.
    >:D

    I got the v-i-i-i-b-e-s man.

    😎

    Like

  17. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Spawny Get,
    With respect to to the popularity of the Fifty Shades series with women, it was a surprise to all.
    I just haqd a terrible thiught. What if your livelihood depended on appealing to so fickle a market?

    Aout male contraception, it will spell the end of women having total reprductive control. No more “oopsie” pregnancies.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Spawny Get says:

    More British humour
    “Rick.Brown -> Dave is a cunt • 4 hours ago
    The BBC seem to be blaming the government for these three muslim women and their nine sprogs going to Syria, implying that the government isn’t doing enough. I don’t often say this but for once the BBC is right – the government is not doing enough – 12 is a pathetic effort, 12,000 at least should be the starting point.
    4 • Reply•Share › “

    Like

  19. Spawny Get says:

    “And I didn’t need no Dremel.”
    sounds like you lack dedication, or over-lubed

    Like

  20. Spawny Get says:

    Fuzzie, the comments are a riot. It’s a wimminz health section post and the comments are over run by men. Including Steve Moxon and Lucian Valsan. The worms trouser-snakes have finally turned.

    And the great thing is, as my quoted comment above says, it’s a great recruiting method for MGTOWS / MRAs / MOOs and even PUAs. The more the fembots bitch…and the men don’t care…the more psycho and ineffectual the femeroids look and the more unreasonable the wimminz look.

    I think that the take of will be exponential. The vast majority of men know deep down that there’s something deeply rotten in society…all they need is to hear the words that are already in their subconscious.

    Like

  21. Spawny Get says:

    If you go to this link, Fuzzie, with your new email address; http://en.gravatar.com/
    and a link to this image

    (right click -> copy image URL or cut and paste -> spawnyspace.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/earbear.jpg )

    You can have an irresistible (to furbies) new avatar without any compromise of your old email address

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Cill says:

    Fuzzy, it’s a shame the male contraception came too late for Winston Churchill. I have yet to see the white male baby who does not bear a remarkable resemblance to the great man. Judging by the ongoing high percentages of wee Winnies in the prams and strollers, I reckon his ghostly loins continue to seed the Bubba Mumma suburbs.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. SFC Ton says:

    What the fuck is MOO? Besides what a cow says on the speak and spell

    Like

  24. Spawny Get says:

    Actually MOO is pretty cool. Men Opting Out

    I think it’s better than MGTOW, but…

    Like

  25. Spawny Get says:

    Or rather, what it stands for is really cool, the word itself…maybe not.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Padawan says:

    .
    Men Opting Out (moo!) (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    I saw a cow raise its tail
    And much manuring make
    It made me think, They also serve
    Who only (moo!) and wait

    Like

  27. Spawny into high lit! Who would have known? 😉 Don’t forget dear Spawny, you may go blind reading, err I mean, doing that…lol

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Yoda says:

    Could Bill Shakesman rewrite it into something palatable wonder I do.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Spawny Get says:

    Well, it rhymes with ‘lit’. Made a lot of money off this cack though, got to give her that. I just don’t know why she didn’t lay down the bare penis storyline and get a ghost writer to fill in the wblanks

    Like

  30. Padawan says:

    .
    The High Lit is Passing You By (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    ‘Tis time for Padawan’s own bemoan
    Have you lot not seen?
    ‘Twas Milton in my last great poem!
    Casting pearls before swine I have been!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Spawny Get says:

    It’d be nice if Bloom posted links to her posts here, I would certainly have no objection
    Men and Women: Two Halfs of a Whole?

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Spawny Get says:

    Yeah Padawan, I’ll get right onto that sympathy for the ignoring of your ‘genius’ (merely alleged and certainly yet unproven, I might add)…right after I get some for my comedygems(tm)

    Like

  33. Padawan says:

    .
    The Bard Takes Five (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    To sort his anthology he will retire
    His talent left unsquashed
    ‘Tis a waste of time bestowing his rhyme
    On the yawning great unwashed.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Moehau Man says:

    Yeah well, as Mrs Moehau Man (my scrupulously clean old mum) would say, “The Kauri Club defines the difference between the Moes and the Padawans of this world”.

    Like

  35. poseidon740 says:

    Off topic:

    Anybody see on TV the family members of the church folks that were murdered saying what they wanted to say to that pencil-neck panty-waste of a murderer?

    All of the family members, through their tears, were offering faith based forgiveness to that punk. In this world of so much hate and hurtfulness, today I witnessed the love of God by the black family members.

    “Praise God for those families and may their pain be alleviated by their faith”

    Liked by 2 people

  36. Ode to Padawan

    by Bloom
    Recovering Poet

    Padawan, Oh Padawan
    I hope you will not be gone long
    Or your much needed song
    Which acts as a muse bestowed upon
    Bloom when under the influence of said Padawan

    Liked by 3 people

  37. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Padawan,
    I think Bloom likes your poetry and would miss it if it were absent.
    Same for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Padawan says:

    .
    The Bard Interrupts his Anthology to Console his Despairing Fans (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    The Bard’s stern rue of accolade due
    Was tongue in cheek do you see,
    The Bard shall return, as his fan base of two
    Is twice what he’d thought it to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Spawny Get says:

    I’m shocked too, brother 😉

    Like

  40. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I have been to gravatar, waiting for my avatar.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Spawny Get says:

    How about a poem to get Fuzzie a bear avatar on his new, anonymous, email address?

    Like

  42. Spawny Get says:

    So have you uploaded an image?

    Like

  43. Cill says:

    The avatar I see for Fuzzy is nawt but a black ‘ole. Is this a Spawny trick or a glitch in my browser? (I’ve been having a few glitches lately, probably due to my archaic copper wire broadband)

    Like

  44. Spawny Get says:

    Hey hey,it’s the bear!

    Like

  45. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I am a bear and a gloriuos one, at that!!!!
    Thank you , Spawny.

    Liked by 3 people

  46. Spawny Get says:

    You’re welcome, Fuzzie. Lookin’ good. Just need the okay from Molla Molla.

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Padawan says:

    .
    The Day Fuzzy’s Avatar Happens (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    Let’s all pray for the almighty day,
    Let’s blast the bugles and cannons,
    Let us the blog with champaigne spray
    When Fuzzy’s avatar happens!

    Liked by 3 people

  48. Spawny Get says:

    As part of the transfer process, I might retrofit all your comments to the new address. The avatar would be used for all comments since day one.

    I have the entire site in XML, so a global replace should be straightforward.

    If anyone else wants that done, let me know.

    Like

  49. Spawny Get says:

    I saw the black hole for a while too, Cill.

    Like

  50. Cill says:

    Does this mean Fuzzy can now dignify some of the serfs of this blog with “Likes”?

    Liked by 1 person

  51. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    I think that Molly likes apex predators.

    Not only is the penguin licky, so are the humans.

    Like

  52. molly says:

    I see Fuzzie’s round ears! Yay! congrats Fuz-zie! 🙂
    (thanks for the headline news cuzzie)

    Liked by 1 person

  53. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly likes it! Molly likes it!
    Speaking of likes that’s something I can do now.
    Joy! Joy! Joy! It’s great to be a bear!

    Liked by 2 people

  54. Cill says:

    Er, you can start by Liking on me at 12:33 am Fuzzy. That would be apt, I think.

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Spawny Get says:

    I hadn’t twigged that the like thing wasn’t possible till now.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. Cill says:

    Fuzzy’s foreclaw still can’t bring itself to click down on a Like…

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Spawny Get says:

    That is indeed a troubling affliction there.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. Spawny Get says:

    All is now right in the world.

    Liked by 2 people

  59. Cill says:

    We should now take bets on who he’ll Like next.

    Liked by 2 people

  60. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I can “like” now.

    SfcTon at 7:07pm.
    “What’s a MOO?”

    Liked by 1 person

  61. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It seems that the ability to “like” is the last thing loaded on the page.

    Like

  62. Spawny Get says:

    The lack of likes is an issue on Spawny.Space. that and auto image embeds are delaying things.

    Like

  63. Cill says:

    “It seems that the ability to “like” is the last thing loaded on the page.”
    Are you sure it wasn’t because your foreclaw was using muscles it had never used before, Fuzzy?

    Liked by 2 people

  64. Yoda says:

    The bear “likes” as he “eats”

    Liked by 1 person

  65. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    It is too bad that I couldn’t “like” when Molly was commenting regularly. She would often load images of food for me.
    So, you are correct.

    Like

  66. molly says:

    Fuzzie what a big day for a 🐻
    We see ya! Like BOO – Your not hidden in the woods any more! Lol
    Here’s some special treats to calm you down:

    🌯 🌯 🌯 🌯

    Remember to eat politely, and calm.Down.
    Lol

    ❤ your avatar Fuzzie Wuzzie!

    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  67. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    I have been watching some videos related to dating and I thought about what would work for a bear and a Furby. I think the amusment park and the bumpercars. I’d handle the wheel and you could tell me where to go.
    Wheeeeeeeeeee!!

    Like

  68. molly says:

    Heh heh! We would wrestle for the wheel till I let you win, as I’m a good sport (and don’t want to make you mad 😉 ). We will bash the other bumpercars to bits. Yo! SMASH THEM BRO! 😄

    Liked by 1 person

  69. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    I have to confess that I have never been on amusement park rides with a date. It does sound like a lot fun though.

    Liked by 1 person

  70. molly says:

    Yaya Fuzzie my first ever “like” from you! I feel goood.. We’ll find Big Red in a bumpercar and totally squish her when she swears! We will teach the silly moo. An amusment park is such a great idea, F. Wuzzie Bear. Thanks! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  71. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    With the two of us in one car, and Cill and M in another, we could hit her repeatedly and make her say lots of bad words.
    Then, we could post on youtube. “Return of Big Red”

    Liked by 1 person

  72. molly says:

    It will go viral! “*End* of Big Red” (sniff, where’s my tissue. Not) Heh

    Liked by 2 people

  73. molly says:

    I have to go now Fuzzie. It’s after 1 a.m. in Indiana. Try to get some sleep, dream of your new avatar in the morning. Goodnight friend! Peaceful sleep.

    Your friend Molly 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  74. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    INot the End of Big Red, please. I’d look forward to whole series. Once you get a little used to her, getting her all wound up is funny. She would get more than a little frustrated afte a while. We could see her married off. In the final episode, she and Sasquatch are paddling a dugout canoe into the sunset.

    Liked by 1 person

  75. molly says:

    Your right Fuzzie. See you tomorrow! Bye friend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  76. Sumo says:

    Pfft…..The Mighty Sumo doesn’t need “cars” in order to smash stuff.

    Amateurs….

    Liked by 5 people

  77. Padawan at Dawn

    By Bloom
    Recovering Poet

    Had thoughts today at Dawn
    Of the poet Padawan
    As I awake to the morning light
    Is he singing to the sea in the night?
    As I face a sunny summer day
    Does he chase winter chills away?
    Even odder of a thought to ponder
    Is this strange thought of wonder
    As I begin my new day
    For Padawan it’s already yesterday!

    Liked by 3 people

  78. Yoda says:

    Like Degoba this thread is.

    Liked by 1 person

  79. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    I hope that Fox News keeps it up. The Amherst case, with the accused receiving oral sex while incapacitated and, then, two years later, being expelled for sexual assault is the most egregious example of injustice that I have heard of on campus. .

    Liked by 2 people

  80. Liz says:

    I like your avatar Fuzzie! I also like the full name with the bear in it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  81. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    Spawny deserves full credit for finding the bear photo. Isn’t he dignified? As for the new user name, someone else had fuzziewuzzie registered so I added bear and it worked.

    Liked by 2 people

  82. molly says:

    “Padawan at Dawn Sunday”
    by Molly a poet by golly

    Padawan will be working on the farm,
    Keeping the animals from harm,
    He would have gone out at dawn,
    As soon as he finished his yawn,
    He would have read the poem by Bloom,
    When he went in his computer room 🙂

    Molly will go out in her garden too,
    With a book as there’s weeding to do!

    Liked by 1 person

  83. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    I just got through watching this. You had linked it at the new site to test.

    It runs over an hour but it is comprehensive and worth your time.

    Liked by 1 person

  84. Spawny Get says:

    Thanks Fuzzie, I’ll have a watch tomorrow. I know I started it the other day, but I think I got distracted.

    Like

  85. Yoda says:

    FWB our newest citizen he is.

    Liked by 1 person

  86. Yoda says:

    Spawny deserves full credit for finding the bear photo. Isn’t he dignified?

    Spawny or the bear you do mean.

    Liked by 1 person

  87. Farm Boy says:

    There is a new post

    Like

  88. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    That Hillary would appeal for gun control in the wake of this tragedy is political opportunism of the lowest order. I can’t think of a less expensive way to make a cheap shot.

    Liked by 1 person

  89. Fwb! What a set of initials. I had never noticed that before. Lol!

    Like

  90. Happy solstice, everyone!

    Liked by 1 person

  91. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    That I have the initials FWB was unintentional. When I see that, I think of Tarn’s sweetheart.

    Like

  92. Sumo says:

    What’s with all the poetry?

    The Mighty Sumo
    Does not do poetry
    Deal with it, mofo.

    Haiku, bitches.

    Liked by 2 people

  93. SFC Ton says:

    My money is on the Sovereign Man concept.

    Different tone, more active, aggressive ie masculine then men opting out or going their own.

    Liked by 1 person

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