A Secret


My Mom was ill and staying at my Sister’s home.  About a week before she died, she gave a book to my sister, saying that it was the secret to a happy marriage.  My sister was not really interested in the book, so I took it to see what the secret was.  The book is “Natural Birth Control — In Harmony With Catholic Morality”, published in 1938.  The book is about having sex and controlling whether or not there is potential for a pregnancy.  It goes into depth with respect to cycles and the like.  It must have worked in this case, because all of us kids were somewhat evenly spread out time wise; and I assumed this was intentional.

But the implied subtext was that much of the secret was that my Dad could be satisfied, and that my Mom was willing to set up a system where this could happen (tracking stuff with charts and the like).  And my parents were happily married.

The End.

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Posted in FarmBoy, HowTo, Marriage
79 comments on “A Secret
  1. Unfortunately for women, desire is highest at her most fertile time in the cycle. But yes,the natural method can work if one has a regular cycle and is aware. Takes an awfully lot of trust on both sides, and both would need to realize its not all that effective in practice (likely some user error, or random adherence, or just fate…)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yoda says:

    The secret to good marriage satisfy husband’s desire it would be.
    Perhaps hyperbole this is.
    But not by much it would be.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    This can work. My grandmother tried to time all her children to be born in August. Only one was born on Halloween. Things were different between men and women then. It just dawned on me that women were expecte to meet their men halfway.

    Like

  4. SFC Ton says:

    The secret to a good marriage is having a good pimp hand.
    Women where good wives when DV wasn’t a thing
    They are pretty much failing at every aspect now.

    Like

  5. Farm Boy says:

    The point is that my Mom did what was necessary to make sure that my Dad was satisfied. And everybody was happy.

    Like

  6. Farm Boy says:

    Actually she had other good pieces of advice. Those will come in later posts

    Like

  7. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    If we take this away from sex and apply it to food, it may be easier to resolve. I don’t think your Mom wanted your Dad ever to go hungry. I think that there are wives out there that are inviting their husbands to raid the refrigerator at dinnertime because they have other things to do.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Farm Boy says:

    Fuzzie Bear,

    Taking your comment literally; I loved my Mom’s cooking also. So did my Dad. She knew how to keep him satisfied.

    Like

  9. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    We may need to give your mother a name. May I propose “Farm Mom”?
    This present day need of women to control through settiing the frequency of sex had had a very corrosive effect on confidence in marriage. It’s been going on so long, there is no one left from the old school to ask how it worked before. However, I think it worked better.

    Like

  10. Liz says:

    I learned natural family planning shortly after we were married since the pill made me nutty. I think every woman should know this. Makes you very in tune with your body and what’s going on. THIS is what should be taught to girls in health class. And when it’s time to plan a pregnancy, there’s absolutely no doubt when the best time is (also helps for planning the sex of the child, with about an 80+ percent level of accuracy).

    And yeah, not all sex is procreative, so that can be timed too. The only thing I have against this method is, ovulation is a really horny time and that’s exactly when you can’t have sex (unless you’re trying). But the pill takes ovulation away entirely.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. SFC Ton says:

    I am, by and large, anti birth control; therefore support the NFP simply as a way to avoid the damages of hormonal birth control. Not to mention the low rate of child production. I also think jizz in the box is like crack for most chicks. Leastwise if she is into her man, it helps with the bonding and all but I do not think that is the case when she is on the pill. No research to back that up. Just the random musings of drunk hillbilly

    Back in my younger and wilder days, say last week, that women are horny when they ovulate, and the kind of men they gravitate to when ovulating was kind of a scary tidbit of info. Now, I reckon I don’t much care.

    Does not take much to make the most of men happy and yet the overwhelming majority of modern woman fail to achieve that low level of performance. The other side of the coin is, when a man has a more traditional sense of gender roles and what he wants out of a woman, it makes it easier for her. Removes a fair amount of her performance anxieties and burdens. If she is the type for any sort of introspection. Again no research, just looking back on to my life.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. theasdgamer says:

    @ Liz

    I learned natural family planning shortly after we were married since the pill made me nutty.

    Being post-menopausal can also make women nutty. They were used to certain levels of hormones, then those levels change a lot. Both estrogen and androgens. A look at your future. Be ready for introspection all along the way. Going through menopause is one thing. Post-menopause is something entirely different. Being a woman can be so interesting…heh.

    Like

  13. missattempts says:

    My mom spent the last 14 mounths of her life in a daffy Jewish nursing home.
    It was a “quality” place (Frank Sinatra and Bernard Madoff made donations there)
    but they had cockamanny rules, like you couldn’t push elevator buttons on a Saturday.
    So the elevator would run heywire on automatic.
    I think it was God’s will, the way my mother went, and how she went. But she did
    express regret to my father, in front of me, that I’d never know what it was to have a
    girlfriend. That’s something she never would have said if she had all her faculities.
    I notice that people are a lot less guarded in what they say, when they’re on their
    death beds.

    Like

  14. Tarnished says:

    Sex Trigger for Yoda, maybe…

    Liz,
    I learned natural family planning shortly after we were married since the pill made me nutty.
    I tried the Pill for 6 months a few years ago, just to see what it would do. I really enjoyed not having a period at all…it was fantastic! Not that I have any negative symptoms anyway, but it felt awesome to not have that reminder of femaleness to deal with. Other than that, I had no reactions.
    I hope that one day soon I can get sterilized, but so far haven’t found any doctors willing to do so until I’m over 35. 😡

    Like

  15. Tarnished says:

    Missattempts,

    Geez…that is very harsh, though your mother obviously didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re correct that the truth of things comes out more when people are vulnerable. I sympathize with how you felt, and hope it doesn’t hurt as much anymore.

    Have you looked into getting massages or going to a professional hugger/cuddler yet? I still think that it would be good for you to have some physical contact.

    Liked by 3 people

  16. Liz says:

    Gamer: “Being post-menopausal can also make women nutty. They were used to certain levels of hormones, then those levels change a lot. Both estrogen and androgens. A look at your future. Be ready for introspection all along the way. Going through menopause is one thing. Post-menopause is something entirely different. Being a woman can be so interesting…heh.”

    That’s good advice, Gamer. Not looking forward to that and I’m sure I’ll probably have to take something then. I’m self aware enough to fear getting nutty, since I’ve been there before and know it could very well happen to me.

    Tarn: I remember you mentioning the pill didn’t adversely affect you. That’s really awesome! Wish it was like that for me. 🙂

    Like

  17. Yoda says:

    Wonder if job “matters girl” could could obtain.
    Big risk in hiring she would be.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. Yoda says:

    “Mattress girl” that should be

    Like

  19. Yoda says:

    The artist earned course credits for carrying the mattress around as part of her senior project entitled, ‘Carry that Weight’ which was framed as a protest against the university’s alleged tolerance of rape and other sexual assault.

    Like

  20. Hope mattress girl enjoyed the validation while it lasted. The real world ain’t college. Good point re her future hiring, not to mention smp/mmp impact. I guess she could be a women’s studies prof? God forbid!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I took the pill during most of my 20s (I know, I know, I was still following the supposed “new and improved” ways then, (spoiler alert that did not play out so good.) My side effects were killed libido/ability to get aroused and weight gain around the middle. I stopped taking the pill in my early 30s after I got pregnant then was nursing. I have not had nearly the struggle w weight gain since! (The libido/desire problems also went away, tmi, but I don’t think enough women know about that impact. It basically chemically neuters you, or at least the ones available back then.)

    Like

  22. poseidon740 says:

    Tarn,

    What are the qualifications to be a professional hugger? This is the first time I have heard of that profession. I imagine a whole post could bed allocated to this topic if Spawney or anybody wanted to embrace the possibilities.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. @ posidon there is a professional cuddlier who opened shop in my area and the news was all over it, thinking it was some cover for prostitution or something. I don’t know if there is any training involved but what she said is that people need to be hugged, cuddled, touched. It’s non-sexual. She seemed like just a very caring, empath type person. And studies do show affection is a big part of health. I hear she’s booked up!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Liz says:

    “…anybody wanted to embrace the possibilities”

    “Embrace” hee hee. Nice play on words, Poseidon.
    I love puns and double entendres. 😀

    Like

  25. theasdgamer says:

    “Mattress girl” that should be

    For those of us who can read, it mattresses not.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. theasdgamer says:

    “…anybody wanted to embrace the possibilities”

    “Embrace” hee hee. Nice play on words, Poseidon.
    I love puns and double entendres

    Liz has arm envy, since Liz can’t really embrace (“en bras” = “in arms”) with her puppy legs. She can enjambes (“en jambes” = “in legs”). Lots of double-en-fakking-tendres there. Have a ball. Hope I didn’t screw the joke. Dang it! That didn’t cum out right.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. poseidon740 says:

    You didn’t just screw the joke, you carpet bombed the joke. Don’t tell RPC that the weeks of carpet jokes recommenced.

    Like

  28. heard that Poseidon! Lol.

    Like

  29. Yoda says:

    What are the qualifications to be a professional hugger?

    A good profession for a bear this might be?

    Like

  30. Spawny feels that his crap-joke-turf has been impinged upon. Spawny is very territorial.

    Liked by 2 people

  31. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Yoda,
    Work for all those newfangled aliens! I always thought aliens should be small and green.

    I just keyed in “Emma Sulkowicz” into my search engine. 113,000 entries.
    She will never live this down and, if Nungesser wins his suit against Columbia, she’ll be untouchable.

    Like

  32. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Missattempts,
    I saw this about a year and a half ago. While there is no direct application to your situation, there might be a nugget of info you an use. For those that won’t take the hour to watch this, three people are profiled. One was helped witha dating coach. He dropped out because he needed surgery. The gal hired an escort and is saving for a return-fail. The third, physically handicapped, hired an escort to regain his confidence-it worked.

    Like

  33. Cill says:

    What’s the definition of a mistress?
    Something between a Master and a Mattress

    What’s the definition of a mattress?
    Something between a Master and a Mistress:

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Hmm glad you’re back, even if bearing poor qualidy ‘jokes’

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Cill says:

    Yoda “A Chelsea Morning”

    Chelsea Hubble.

    The proof:

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Cill says:

    “even if bearing poor qualidy ‘jokes’”

    Oh yeah? Look up one ^

    (next comment up I mean)

    Liked by 1 person

  37. She’s rumoured to be a horror to work with too. At the Clinton Charidy Concern.

    G’night, glad you’re back.

    Liked by 3 people

  38. Cill says:

    Good night me old mate, although I must say your new avatar is not your best look. With a tin helmet over your head, your looks do improve quite considerably. Just a thought.

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Tarnished says:

    Poseidon,

    Sorry about the wait time for a response. For some reason I wasn’t getting comments from this post. Here’s the video from one of the first cuddling companies:

    I would love to do a post on this topic! Since I have haphephobia, the idea of cuddling, hugging, etc. is discomforting and panic inducing. Yet for a while I was getting numerous incels and sex-deprived MGTOW leaving me comments and emails all talking about how they truly suffer from a lack of touch, like what I think Missattempts deals with. I have an extremely rough draft regarding the dangers and complications of living in a state of marasmus. It was going to be one of my next posts, until I couldn’t handle the hate mail anymore…

    Guess I should use my next day off to brush it off and post it here when there’s an empty slot. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

  40. Farm Boy says:

    A new post is up.

    Like

  41. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Tarn,
    I didn’t know about hate mail.
    About touch deprivation, it’s part and parcel of being a bachelor. We’re social creatures but, this is what our modern society has decreed.

    Liked by 2 people

  42. Farm Boy says:

    About touch deprivation, it’s part and parcel of being a bachelor.

    Indeed

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Cill says:

    You go Tarn! On second thoughts, maybe you should wait a few days before completing your post? Someone with a score of “Psycho = 0” can’t be terribly well balanced, but I’m sure it must be a temporary state. Just give it a few days and you’ll be fine.
    😉

    Fuzzy, I don’t know where I’d be without touch. I get a lot of hugs come to think of it. Do you not have female family who hug you? Maybe you could hire a cuddler for an hour?

    Liked by 3 people

  44. theasdgamer says:

    Learn to dance well. You’ll get lots of hugs.

    Like

  45. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Cill,
    There are no female relatives or platonic friends. Here’s one way for bears to get their backs scratched.

    It is curious that woemn do get enough touch from each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. poseidon740 says:

    Tarn, I’d like to read it.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. Women, especially w small children, can get overly touched. I seriously have NO privacy, even when showering or going potty. W/I seconds of a shut door, the Bloomettes are searching for me! I think this can also explain some of the libido dip after kids, it can be seriously overwhelming for a few years, the never ending demand of kiddos. Not to complain but I suspect it is often felt but taboo to say. Moms are supposed to be blissed out. Spoiler alert: not always the case, no matter how much you love them!

    Liked by 3 people

  48. Spawny Get says:

    “Someone with a score of “Psycho = 0″ can’t be terribly well balanced”

    It IS a little freaky, but we try to be a tolerant lot.

    Liked by 3 people

  49. SFC Ton says:

    Maybe I should get into the professional cuddling bidness

    Liked by 3 people

  50. Liz says:

    Lol Ton! 😀

    Like

  51. Tarnished says:

    Fuzzie,

    It’s why I stopped blogging. You should’ve seen some of the comments I didn’t let through…and the emails. Just because I can sympathize with male anger at the system and write about it doesn’t mean I deserve to be called names or told to go partake in unsavory, harmful activities. *sigh*
    I empathize with the fact that single men don’t get enough touch. It must be very difficult, kinda the direct opposite of my experiences.

    Poseidon,
    Then a post I shall pen!

    Cill,
    Hold up. When exactly did I ever claim to be balanced? I’m not a scale, I’m a pinwheel. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  52. theasdgamer says:

    Bloom, it’s easy for women to give too much attention to kids. If the libido is tanking, you’re in the red zone.

    Liked by 2 people

  53. Tarnished says:

    Thanks, Bloom!

    I agree with asdgamer. (Please alert the presses.) The most stable families I ever babysat for were ones were mom and dad would have a “date night” every other week. Kids are wonderful, but can wreck havoc on a marriage if precautions aren’t taken.

    Liked by 2 people

  54. Spawny Get says:

    BRO! Could have done with a trigger warning there, Tarn.
    “I agree with asdgamer”

    I lived to see the day!

    Like

  55. True Gamer, women do need to be careful about that. The couple’s relationship is primary and should not be backburnerrd for kiddos. It’s in everyone’s best interest for mom and dad to be happily bonded for sure! It’s a common mistake…

    Like

  56. Btw to clarify I was married in my 20s while on the pill, just to clarify! NOT riding the carousel!

    Liked by 2 people

  57. Tarnished says:

    Lol!
    Bloom, there seems to be a dearth of carousel riders or player’s here. I doubt anyone thought you meant otherwise. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  58. SFC Ton says:

    I’ve never understood the player thing. Women are a by product not an actual objective and by reading around, it looks like my n count is a good deal higher then the average player. And I am short, average looks to slightly unattractive, no fly clothes etc etc.

    Liked by 2 people

  59. “Women are a by product not an actual objective”

    As in all the stories for boys and men. Pre-pussification of the media. Getting the girl was a by-product of doing the hero thing.

    Like

  60. Just watching Dune. Immense story for boys and men. And Virginia Madsen!

    Liked by 2 people

  61. SFC Ton says:

    Loved Dune the book. Cannot, as of now, remember any other fiction book I enjoyed(history books excluded)

    Movie sucked and I fell asleep during it

    Like

  62. Just got to the death of Duncan Idaho.

    Like

  63. Have you seen the mini-series of Dune and Children of Dune?

    Not bad. More time to tell the story. I’m watching the movie version right now.

    Like

  64. SFC Ton says:

    No I don’t think I have but yea the movie had three major failings
    Acting sucked
    Special effects where not up to speed
    Cut out to much of the book…. but then again they would have had to, or make it a two part deal…. which might have been asking for to much

    Liked by 1 person

  65. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Tarn,
    I have to wonder that our philosophical opponents found you. You are a little off the beaten path. That they did and made life a misery tells me how motivated and numerous they are. There are a lot of opponents to fairness out there.
    Glad that you are here.

    Bloom,
    Not a monent’s peace, even while going toi-toi?

    Liked by 1 person

  66. http://www.amazon.com/Dune-Special-Directors-William-Hurt/dp/B0000639EV

    Second hand is cheaper. There’s a non-director’s cut that’s cheaper.

    Lower budget than the film, but much more time.

    Then
    http://www.amazon.com/Children-Dune-2-DVD-Frank-Herberts/dp/B00FP20ZCG/

    Liked by 1 person

  67. poseidon740 says:

    Regarding the books, Dune:

    One of my favorite stories. I read all six three times. Remember how bizarre the story got as the books progressed? Thousands of Duncan Idahos, The Emperor morphing into an enormous worm/human thing. I remember laughing at how the Emperor would put the feminist Bene Gesserit in their places. They hated him for being a male and taking charge of their breeding program.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. poseidon740 says:

    I saw most of the Dune movie years ago. I had to turn it off as it sucked so much, but I was comparing the movie to the book. The movie was only about the first half of the first book, which was only a sorta preamble to the entire Dune story. I agree with Ton that the acting was awful. If today a big production movie were made of the story, kinda like Game of Thrones, that could be quite an excellent movie series. But they would need to incorporate the entire story. One short coming of The Game of Thrones movie, I find, is that there are too few episodes each season and too much of the book story was cut out and also simplified.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. SFC Ton says:

    Naw dune would suck even more today; they would make it a feminist/ sjw film vs a close match to the real story.

    I only liked the 1st book of the dune series. Like you said got way weird

    Liked by 1 person

  70. Sumo says:

    FWIW, the Dune mini-series that Spawny mentioned gets two SumoThumbs up.

    Liked by 2 people

  71. I definitely thought that the first book was in a class of its own.

    Not read GoT but am watching the tv series. It’s okay. The kerfuffle of the ‘rape’ after all the other events seems overblown (was she not there willingly? She just dIdn’t like the audience or the rough manner and position? That’s not rape, is it? She wasn’t forced to marry him, was she?)

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Liz says:

    What I love most about the Game of Thrones series is it’s giving that writer the impetus to finish his series. I am going to be so pissed if he passes before finishing those!
    I hear the next book is out next year. Crossing fingers. (I haven’t really watched the television series since the second season).

    Like

  73. Liz says:

    I’m definitely going to watch that Dune series, and read the first book at least. I’ve never read it.

    Like

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