Purchase Not A Porcine Packed Within A Parcel

Liz made an interesting comment in my last post comment thread:

Selling herself as a potential good wife, if she would indeed make a good wife, is not manipulation.

What most young men don’t know or understand until it’s too late is that women don’t always know what they are promising when they promise. I have personal experiences with this problem, as I’ve related in the past. I could go off on a long and tangential rant about the appropriateness of the gerund “selling” in feminine interactions with marriageable men. But since I want the understanding of what I’m discussing to get through, I’ll not rehash them now. I’ll let others’ comments do it for me.

Suffice it to say for now that since 78 percent of women said finding a partner with a steady job was most important (Pew Research Center study), fewer men can afford the cost of the distaff purchase.

Unfortunately, considering the recent state of the labor market, it may be hard for single women to find employed single men, one of several factors contributing to the low marriage rate. “If all never-married young women in 2012 wanted to find a young employed man who had also never been married, nine percent of them would fail, simply because there are not enough men in the target group,” the report stated.

That would be roughly 1 woman in 11. Some of these will resort to picking some guy they believe they can manipulate into becoming an employed male to support her, because she isn’t about to support HIM! But their prospects for success aren’t as good now as they might once have been for their mothers. As one commenter said in a post I read,

Basically everyone is this way now. Most people are going solo and living alone and don’t want to get married these days. It’s a sign of the times. There’s no money, no jobs… ‘Who would?’ is the real question.” [minor editing by me for clarity]

An expanded version of why men aren’t so interested to accept feminine matrimonial promises comes from Peter Lloyd, writing for The Daily Mail (UK):

For an army of women, Mr Right is simply not there, no matter how hard they look for him. And the reason? When it comes to marriage, men are on strike. Why? Because the rewards are far less than they used to be, while the cost and dangers it presents are far greater. ‘Ultimately, men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,’ says Dr Helen Smith, author of Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood And The American Dream. ‘They don’t want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over. ‘Men aren’t wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment phobes. They’re being smart.’ “

Dr Smith goes on to explain this in a specific instance in a recent post on her web site:

When I told her men did not want to marry much anymore, she looked bewildered, and said, “Is it because they are selfish?” “No,” I said, “it’s because women are selfish.” This mother had no idea what the disconnect was between what she thought about men and what they actually are. She told me that her son was involved with a woman whom he lived with, whom he provided for, bought gifts for and helped out when he could. This woman, in turn, racked up more and more bills, including $100,000 in student loans, without including him in her plans at all.” [My emphasis]

There are many mothers out there who simply don’t understand what their grown sons are going through, particularly older women who have sons in their late twenties and thirties who do not want to marry, or are hesitant to make that commitment….Men these days have to be much more careful than women about whom they settle down with, have children with, and marry. Now this mom seemed to get that. I hope that she can now understand her son a little bit better and be supportive of his choices in this difficult legal and psychological climate.

A less diplomatic phrasing of  “this difficult legal and psychological climate” comes from another article in The Daily Mail:

By the time your son is 18, he will probably have absorbed the social message that his dad is much less valuable as a parent than his mother — that fathers in families are an added bonus, not a crucial cog.” [my emphasis]

This is not false or made up. I watched this happen to my father long before feminism was even a thing. I saw it be applied to my grandfather. I’ve seen it applied to friends and relatives. I’ve experienced this first hand. It may well have gone on as far back as when Ug was out looking for something to drag back to the cave for dinner.

One of the more outrageous I encountered in my travels across the Inter Tubes was a recent article (I lost the link, but will update this post if I find it), where the mother decided while on her way to a tubal ligation -after delivering her third child- that she wasn’t done having babies yet. She previously had discussed this procedure with the father, and he thought they had agreed that three kids was it. Father had no say in the decision to delay the ligation, and he ended up with a fourth juvenile mouth to support despite the reneged agreement that they couldn’t afford any more kids. Mom is jazzed about her subversive addition. No word from her on how Dad feels.

Where is the respect he is due from her to honor agreements she made with him? Would she not insist that he abide his agreements with her to the letter? It looks to me that what he wants and expects is not important to her at all. This is hardly uncommon. The vast majority of married men put up with this relatively frequently. It can also affect unmarried men in relationships, as the number of pregnant brides can attest.

But once a man has made his woman a mother, this usually happens:

I had been married for nearly three years when I stopped wanting to “get busy” with the man to whom I’d pledged my life….I didn’t want to. My sex drive, my libido, that thing I’d heard about on radio and TV shows, the thing I hadn’t thought could ever really go away, had completely disappeared.

Traditionalists want to see women withhold sex until after marriage. It would only make the problem of men feeling cheated and lied to by their women worse. Making divorce harder to get will only result in less savory “solutions” sought by the desperate. The only realistic outcome of this situation is for men to avoid matrimony – and to not believe a word women tell them about how good they will be once the deal is concluded, for they know not what they say.

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Posted in AWALT, Blurkel, Lies, Marriage, RedPillClassroom
51 comments on “Purchase Not A Porcine Packed Within A Parcel
  1. Bit distracted right now, but another great post, Blurkel

    Liked by 1 person

  2. One theory that I’ve heard, but not lately, is that women these days are often on the pill throughout the boyfriend experience, the marriage and a few years afterwards…until ‘they’ decide it’s time for her to get up the duff.

    Thing is…her tastes in men when they met were those of a pseudo-preggo woman (the pill) meaning she was seeking resources, rather than tingles. When she comes off the pill in order to get pollinated, suddenly hubby looks a little untingly. Marriage probably did betaise him a little anyway.

    Even if she has his kid anyway, the rot in her attitude toward him has begun…optional second kid to ensure the finances…game over

    Liked by 2 people

  3. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    You’ve written a knock out post. I think Spawny may steal somme of our fire with election news. The suspense has been building up for months.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. blurkel says:

    Not a problem with me, Fuzzie, as it is an important election.


  5. I haven’t noticed a rush to my post 😉

    Very much appreciate hard posts about reality for younger men, one from the heart. I enjoy the blog’s atmosphere as well as anyone. I like the variety very much.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Farm Boy says:

    “Selling herself as a potential good wife, if she would indeed make a good wife, is not manipulation.”

    Can’t really argue with that. The same goes for the other way around


  7. SFC Ton says:

    I can think of three men who didn’t fall for the bait and switch when they got married so it is always wise to distrust women

    Liked by 1 person

  8. theasdgamer says:

    “Selling herself as a potential good wife, if she would indeed make a good wife, is not manipulation.”

    For a man, it’s like playing Russian roulette with 5 chambers loaded.

    Marriage Barker: “Step right up, pull the trigger. You might get lucky and get lucky!”

    Liked by 2 people

  9. theasdgamer says:

    Ton, I assume that you meant that the men didn’t fall into the declining-sex trap. How did they avoid it? By not taking any bull5h1t from their wives?


  10. SFC Ton says:

    No I meant that the women they married did not themselves change in any fundamental way or request their men to change in any fundamental way.

    What’s the line? A man marries thinking she is great and should never change
    A woman marries thinking she can change him

    Well these chicks did not marry men to change them; one even married a beta

    None of which refutes any bit of man o sphere wisdom about women or marriage. We can only speak as to generalities and not on the millions of specifics.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. missattempts says:

    I know Tarnished is quite wroth with me because of recent comments I made
    about her. No offense was intended of course, but because I DO value Tarnished
    as much as I do, I would be remiss, if I didn’t point out a few cogient observations
    Here are Tarnishes’ primary problems and possible solutions:

    1) The young Tarnished was a victim of APPALING ABUSE.
    “Father” #1 was physically and verbally abusive. “Father” #2 was sexually abusive.
    Tarn’s “mother” offered no support. She clearly, knowingly or unknowingly sided
    with the abusers.
    Tarn was not only given a terrible burden to bear, but being the oldest, had
    parental type responsibilities. I saw this pattern in many mental patients I knew.
    Tarn had to compartmentalize. She did fantastic in school. This is why intelligece
    is such a saving grace. It opens doors.

    2) Tarnished is soured on traditional family life, because of her parent’s lousy marriage.
    She thinks if she married it would “spoil” what she has with her F.W.B. She thinks
    it would be a replay of what her parents had. Why? Knowledge is power. She
    could see the possible pitfalls. That was then. This is now. There’s no reason at
    all to think it MUST be that way, this includes children. She’d make a wonderful
    mother. Why be trapped by memories past? In the eternal NOW there is
    FREEDOM, like water passing under a bridge. Let it go.


    In the book “Hostage To The Devil,” by Malachy Martin, he recounts true life
    incidents about demonic posession. Martin recounts one incident of a
    transgender man, who became a “woman.” During the course of the exercism,
    the foul spirit is asked to reveal it’s idenity and purpose.
    He says it’s a specialized demon who’s purpose is to get men to change thier
    gender, and to have them think that the solutions to their problems reside
    in getting a “box.” If demons do that to men, they can do that to women as well.
    Maybe that might be the reason for Tarn’s “unorthodox” views on S-E-X and
    F.W.B.’s (Who, in actuality, durive all the “benefits.”)
    Incidently, a good example of the above, is the American alethete Bruce Jenner
    who not only is in the process of becoming a woman, but was involved in a
    lethel auto accident. Demonic activity all around.


  12. Liz says:

    Good grief.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Liz says:

    ” Making divorce harder to get will only result in less savory “solutions” sought by the desperate.”

    Not if fault-based outcomes are adopted. Any husband or wife who wants a divorce should be able to get one. The catch is, if the person wants to divorce and can’t prove that the other party is guilty of adultery, physical abuse, or addiction, then the plaintiff is at fault. As a result, he, or she, gets nothing, the presumption regarding child custody is to the other parent, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Liz says:

    The above (fault based outcome version of ‘no fault’) the best and most realist arrangement possible for fallible humans. The person breaking the contract (without evidence of fault) would take the responsibility for breaking up the family, but they aren’t so bound, legally, that they have to resort to desparate measures.

    Having a society that perpetuates and incentivizes fatherless children is a worse scenario by far. We already have that in ghetto culture today. Outcomes extremely undesireable.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    This is for your avatar.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Liz says:

    Fuzzie, that was ADORABLE!!!
    Thankyou for sharing that.


  17. theasdgamer says:

    @ Liz

    Ok, let’s suppose that we adopt fault-based outcomes. What do men do if the wife starts the gradually-diminishing sex strategy that virtually all wives do? Divorce? Take a mistress? What is Liz’s solution to that?

    I mean, seriously, let’s try to consider men’s concerns here on a putatively manospherian site. I really DGAS about traditionalist concerns.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Liz says:

    “I mean, seriously, let’s try to consider men’s concerns here on a putatively manospherian site. “

    Well, I’ve learned on these putatively manospherian sites that 70 percent of divorces are filed by wives (virtually always for reasons that would only pass the “no fault” sniff test, but the “i’m not happy” reason). So, I’d say I am considering men’s concerns on those grounds.


  19. Liz says:

    When people took marriage far more seriously, which means that they took more care entering it and knew they couldn’t get out and ride that carousel ever after, I’ll bet things were different and sex more frequent in marriages.


  20. theasdgamer says:

    @ Liz

    When people took marriage far more seriously, which means that they took more care entering it and knew they couldn’t get out and ride that carousel ever after, I’ll bet things were different and sex more frequent in marriages.

    You made sure that I passed your dodge 5h1t-test that your amygdala threw at me, babydoll. :-] I love you, man!

    Or maybe the general status of men relative to women was higher in the past so that men were more sexually attractive to women. Idk, it’s all speculation. We need to deal with a real problem here and now. No-fault divorce won’t fix that. Maybe legalize mistresses as a fix when wives can’t/won’t do sex, which mistresses are legalized in order to prevent divorce. Practical, and Italian in thinking. But will wives vote for it?

    Liked by 1 person

  21. theasdgamer says:

    Fault-based divorce won’t fix the diminishing sex problem, either.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Liz says:

    “Or maybe the general status of men relative to women was higher in the past so that men were more sexually attractive to women.”

    That’s probably true as well.

    “Italian thinking” lol! 😛
    Maybe there could be some sort of “alienated affection” clause for cases of sexless marriage (a mistress-as-needed/required sort of deal). It would have to include a caveat for absolute discretion though…Arnold failed there, for instance.


  23. SFC Ton says:

    I sued for.divorce on grounds, those grounds being lack of sex. Which is legally justifiable from back when NC was an at fault state. Problem is now, if she is at fault she does get cash and prizes so judges throw it into no fault.

    Why I don’t disagree with missatempts supposition, it is unseemly to do so in public.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. SFC Ton says:

    It would be better to reduce the government and get it out of our personal lives. Government interference set this bullshit up; a different sort of government interference won’t fix shit; whatever it does “reslove” will only create some other set of problems

    Liked by 1 person

  25. theasdgamer says:

    Ton, I’ve been considering that my sexual desert situation was a bit different from yours. Mrs. Gamer is likely an alpha widow of sorts for who I was when younger and thinner. Now that I’ve lost weight and have options, she sees me more like I used to be.

    Mrs. Gamer always mate-guarded herself, even during our sexual desert. She never went out clubbing and never had slutty friends. She was raised like you recommended, though she turned out to be an entitled Princess, for which her father bears responsibility.

    As I understand it, the ex-Mrs. Ton did not mate-guard herself, including when you deployed. Has she ever expressed any desire to get back together with you? I wonder if she’s also an alpha-widow of sorts.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Liz says:

    As I recall, Rhett did tell Scarlet, “I could divorce you over this” when she said she didn’t want any more children (aka sex). Way before no fault.


  27. theasdgamer says:

    Bottom of the ninth, down one run, one man on first, two outs, two strikes on Gamer, Mrs. Gamer pitches an insecurity curve ball and Gamer hits it into the center field bleachers. [A winning home run for you non-Americans.]

    We were going out for a breakfast date and I got a text from another dancer and an alert while I was driving. [I need to turn off text alerts on my cell and figure out a way to handle calls–maybe turn down the volume?] Mrs. Gamer wants to know who it is and what she wants. I tell her it’s about dancing locations. Std. stuff and no big deal. This prompts insecurity in Mrs. Gamer. I redirected the convo into a discussion about dancing etiquette and she brings up an issue which we had in the past and I was a standup guy and copped to it. Then I pointed out that she was doing the very same thing on our date. She immediately saw the logic and dropped the insecurity testing. We had a fun date.


  28. I always thought Liz’s avatar was a canine lookalike of Hitler, but with his syrup a bit ‘Saturday night’.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. SFC Ton says:

    Given my ex’s mental issues I wouldn’t want to draw parallels but it seems you are likely right

    My ex seems driven to break relationships. Last time I had heard, only her mother and a brother living in Mexcio keep in touch with her soooooo probably not much to be done any which way

    But she sure fist the bill as marriage material according to man o sphere wisdom


  30. poseidon740 says:

    Regarding fault divorce:

    I suspect that wives would have the advantage under that system as well due to females being much better skilled at deception. Women are better oral communicators. Generally speaking, I believe, men are more intelligent and can converse on a higher level intellectually, but that is different than overall communicating; especially lying.

    Specifically, if a husband and wife each argue their case in court as to why the other was more at fault for the divorce, women would have the advantage due to inherit communication abilities. Then another advantage women would have is due to the “sins” that men commit being more easily proven. Such as addiction and affairs. When women have affairs they are much more discreet than men, so the evidence against men will be more often obtainable.

    But not provable in court enough to impress an already female imperative biased judge is the withholding of sex and affection by the wife. This is a big point folks.

    I’m kinda leaning toward the no fault deal we have now due to my aforementioned. But I’d like to hear what y’all have to say.

    What happened to Tarn and RPC? Neither posts on their own blogs and I hardly see them here. I asked RPC to make some sammiches a few days ago, which never seemed to happen. I hope she isn’t still in the kitchen slapping together the buns and meat.

    Liked by 4 people

  31. theasdgamer says:

    Buns & meat. Well played.


  32. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    This business about witholding sex is not universal worldwide. At another blog, commenter Imanobody, from Central America, asked married women if they do that. They responded in the negative. It would be against their interests, they like sex.
    There may be more and it’s left unsaid. Mistresses or afairs may be easier to come by down there. That would offset the threat of witholding.
    Overseas, American men are wanted as husbnds because they are less likely to go outside of marriage for sex. The overall etaness of the average American man is a selling point to foreign brides. We’re more trustworthy and constant.

    If American women are using this as a lever to the point where it is considered universal. It’s time to expose it. I think the primary reason that herbavores are so widespread in Japan is because marriage is senn as sexless.


  33. @ Poseidon I have been super busy, the Pacific Northwest is almost crazy green this time of year and the grass and the sprouting weeds are growing like mad. Busy, busy also prepping for high season — lining up music and events to attract customers (and increase sales.) that is followed by harvest followed by holidays so I am about to launch into busy busy mode. Will probably post less but still around for sure!

    As for fault divorce, I wish it weren’t so but as the false DV and rape accusations show, some women be like that. Unfortunately.

    If it’s lie or not get half? The feminine imperative (not feminist, that’s just the version du hour) kicks in — and what is that? SURVIVAL. An in entice to lie. Survival trumps all, even apex, mega, uber allies tingles — except in the case that also includes survival (and not just parlor tricks and fuzzy hats.)

    As soon as feminism goes so far it conflicts with the FI for a tipping point of female survival (? What % is unknown, less than half surely, possibly as low as a quarter? The herd all has herd connections to protect even if they are not affected themselves. Or if those alignments don’t ensure survival they will be broken and new more FI friendly ones will.

    Hey I didn’t design the product, don’t blame me! It’s a strength and a weakness, the FI. Yin/yang. Like anything.

    ‘Tis what it ‘ tis. Adapt or die. Chop, chop.

    Primal programming is the most deeply imbedded and last to go. Survival is situational, fluid, and can change. Feel this way today, that tomorrow. For women, being able to deal with how life rolls is survival.

    Flight. Not fight, not hand to hand or weapon to weapon. (in most cases.) Women who do kill usually do so much more covertly than men. Again, survival. She who survives wins.

    Sorry to be all philosophical about that… Brain stem stuff, this.

    Liked by 2 people

  34. The only thing stronger than survival in the FI is strong inner conviction, not really in herd fashion today, but a rare and worthy female trait. More precious than gold and jewels it is said.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Farm Boy says:

    The only thing stronger than survival in the FI is strong inner conviction, not really in herd fashion today, but a rare and worthy female trait. More precious than gold and jewels it is said.

    Please tell us more about this inner conviction

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Well, in er conviction is when someone does the right thing because it is morally what they consider to be the right thing to do, in the FI case, even at expense of survival. Accounts are rare, and I am sure many are stories never lived to tell. Women in concentration camps who spent their days telling others about “the hiding place” those who spend their lives bringing relief to the suffering in Calcutta, those who place survival of something bigger ahead of themselves? Hard to put into words…

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Farm Boy says:

    Hard to put into words

    Perhaps it isn’t so hard.


  38. Or more commonly but no less heroically those who put family above self, who build up their house, and bring honor to those within. It’s all in the Book. Starts w a P, chapter 31…good woman 101.


  39. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    I just had a truly horible thought. The Proverbs 31 woman in the midst of a bunch of nightclub attention seekers.
    What a contrast! Now I have to watch the Teddy Bears Picnic to get that image out of my mind.


  40. @ fuzzie, I bet she would be happy even in the midst of that lot! In but not of the world…


  41. But chances are after seeing it once or twice she would not return so unlikely place to find her…


  42. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    I think what you’re saying is that the trip ro the nightclub would be a once in a lifetime experience for the Proverbs 31 woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Farm Boy says:

    Or more commonly but no less heroically those who put family above self, who build up their house, and bring honor to those within.

    Oddly enough I just wrote of post that is scheduled for next week, one that contains this,

    “Older women likewise are to be teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored” (Titus 2:3-5).

    It is not proverbs, but it is close enough. It must be Yoda planting stuff in our minds simultaneously again.

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Farm Boy says:

    Fuzzie Bear,

    You are going to be prominent in the posts again next week.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    I don’t know if I will be able to handle all this fame?
    I will look forward to seeing the posts!

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Yoda says:

    I don’t know if I will be able to handle all this fame?

    Yogi handled fame well he did.
    He did what all bears do.
    On food he did concentrate.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Yogi weathered fame quite well. You are right, he kept his eye on the ball, er pic-i-nic baskets.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Liz says:

    Blurkel, I think you mentioned that you have grandkids?


  49. SFC Ton says:

    No wife thinks she is with holding sex even if she has not put out in 5 years. Self reporting on this from women have proven to be way off and less frequent then the wife claims.

    Liked by 2 people

  50. theasdgamer says:

    I like this song:

    The reference to a log cabin in West Virginia built by a man reminded me of Ton somehow.

    All the gold-digging is dedicated to all the frivorced men.

    Mrs. Gamer is a low-maintenance delight.


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