My 15 year old daughter is being taught to seek out a good man as early as possible, and to lock him down by age 25. She is not being told to put off marriage; but instead to seek it out in earnest. I want her to market herself as a potential wife to the right man. She’s being told to find marriageable men she likes, can fall in love with, and can submit to as a wife, and to get married to the right man by age 25.
I dismiss concerns that a girl can’t do this. I’m having absolutely NONE of this bullshit that it’s damn near impossible for a young woman to find a good man and get married. Bullshit. It’s not difficult at all. Be nice, be pretty, don’t get fat, be available. Keep your hair long, your weight down and your makeup on. Learn domestic skills like cooking, baking and cleaning, and basic housekeeping.
Yes, pursue education. But let’s say you meet a man and he is 25 and you’re 20, and you will have to move with him to stay with him. Do you love him? Does he love you? Can you make a go of it? Do you want him and he you? Then get married, you go with him, and he will support you while you finish out your education somewhere else.
It’s a young woman’s job to sell her man on the idea of marriage, and to show him that he should marry her, and why he should. It’s not his job to sell her on marriage or to show her he’d make a good husband. It’s his job to pursue his mission; it’s her job to show him why he should take her along for the ride.
This deals with older girls. But of course, one needs to start young. The question is how to do it? How does one raise a girl today such that the bad influences are at least neutralized. Today, let us concentrate on the tween years. Girls at this age are just discovering their power, and they like it. The media chimes in (e.g. Hannah Montana, Monster High) encouraging it even more. Considering the validation and the fun, how does one suggest to these girls that their time (at last part of it) might be better spent elsewhere?
One might ask, why not let these girls have their fun? For many, it is the start of the slippery slope that leads to alpha widowhood, undeveloped skills (e.g. professional, domestic) and general unbecoming behaviors. In other words, it often leads to them being un-marriagable. But for them, that is in the future, and they don’t want to hear anything about it.
It is really an example of “How are you going to keep them on the farm after they have seen gay Paree”? So, once again, how does one handle this?