We men of the MGTOW world have a long list of grievances that are often laid at the feet of women’s libbers. Yet how far could any of these things -real or imagined- could have come about without the complicity of men?
Look at Saudi Arabia, a land where women are essentially property, and aren’t allowed to do much without a male “chaperone” to ensure that her public behavior remains suitably chaste and non-controversial. A land where it becomes international headline news when a group of them get car keys and drive through the streets of Riyadh protesting against restrictions against them driving. A land where the society accepts the outright murder by family males of any female who gets a little too uppity.
This last item is also embedded in the laws of Brazil, where a married man can kill his wife if she damages his honor as he defines it.
But in most of the rest of the world, these strictures aren’t part of the culture or legal system. Women have rights despite what some men in their society might feel. Each of these rights -most notably voting rights- was bestowed by the local male-dominated political structure, and the reasons for granting these rights vary. But grant them they did, and as in most cases of change, more was sought by the beneficiaries.
With female voting rights came a desire for increased female economic independence. Once again, men had to facilitate the entry of females into certain professions (I’m thinking specifically about teaching above primary levels) where it became possible for women to make a living for themselves without the need of a male supporter. We constantly discuss the ramifications of that societal change on these pages, so I won’t belabor them.
Now it comes out in the Washington Post that men might well be their own enemies in the growing domestic battles which spawned MGTOW.
It seems -according to a study conducted by Maria Shriver, founder of A Woman’s Nation– that while an undefined majority of men expect their domestic partners to be “attractive” and “sweet” women, the attitudes these men hold about their daughters is the polar opposite. Men want and expect their daughters to be strong and intelligent. The sons of these men end up having a society of Lena Dunhams from which to select life partners, and none of the sons are prepared for what that entails.
The Shriver Report Snapshot: An Insight Into the 21st Century Man discussed these issues with 881 men, and found that 4 of 9 men feel life is much harder for them than it was for their fathers, and these men attribute this to the increase in women’s rights in the workplace. 30% of respondents felt that this has led to a decrease in their personal confidence.
Men feeling the pressures of changes in the workplace would be very sensitive. Blaming women for the management-directed increases in automation, and the breaking down of work processes into their most simplest components so that cheaper labor (as women have traditionally been) can do them, is a logical if misdirected reaction while not an accurate one. It’s far easier to lash out at a physically weaker rival than it is to take on the nerds and geeks, who look down on the jocks who abused them in high school now that these same jocks are under their corporate thumbs. With economic power comes the ability to buy physical force to “keep things under control”. As long as men can be directed away from rebelling against the corporate execs who run rampant across the world, even if this means tacitly accepting domestic and gender-based violence as their frustration outlets, the elites can revel in the money earned of the sweat of lower-class brows. More champagne? Don’t worry about those women. They are intelligent enough to hire lawyers to divorce their abusers – IF they are strong enough to act!
Men are tired of many things, and are generally physically tired after putting in a full day. Their futures have little pleasurable to look forward to, and the idea of actually living long enough to stop working for a living is but a pipe dream to too many. The last thing they want when they get home is conflict. They expect their sons to graduate from the School of Hard Knocks, and if this study is to be believed, they now encourage their daughters to follow that same path.
The mothers are all over this with their support. 60% of women work, and two-thirds of the survey respondents said they were OK with this. Half of the respondents even revealed that their distaff sides made more than they did.
Yet they complain that their confidence is lacking.
To me, this report (if accurate) indicates that men don’t play the game anymore. They are giving up their position as head of the house, because it isn’t a position they can claim and defend. No respect is forthcoming for the effort. The more militant of MGTOW seek to reverse this, but maybe direct attack isn’t the right way to restore a way of life which has expired.
Hence the growing numbers of young men who have found better things to do with their lives than to expend them supporting a family, which takes all they have. I, for one, fully understand why gaming is far more appealing than a Lena Dunham, especially when one’s employment prospects don’t provide enough income to do more than deliver one’s share of the rent and utility costs. No young man of any sense is going to believe that life is better with a wife, because they saw what their fathers went through, and they want no part of that. YOLO!
I seriously doubt that my generation’s fathers acted from anything more than self-interest when promoting strength and intelligence to their daughters, our wives. They certainly didn’t prepare us, their sons, for the changes they were pushing. Nor could they have seen the external societal and economic pressures we younger men were going to face as our fathers retired and expired. But in doing so, did they open a door for us to be more than just a salaryman, or a wage slave? Did they provide us with the chance to have a life, and to do things with it, that was denied to them once they took on domestic responsibilities?
I say they did, and to ignore this is to do a disservice to our sons. We need to encourage them to be strong and intelligent as our fathers did for our sisters. We need to teach them what “traditional” life means, and what it costs to attempt it in a world increasingly hostile to mere humans – and I’m not talking environmental conditions or climate change even if they are involved. I’m talking about a global economy which increasingly has no use for humans. When half of the world now attempts to survive on less than $2 US a day, why would any young man do more than enjoy life to the best of his ability?
Marriage is a trap, and not even giving up everything a man has will let him escape, His best strategy is to avoid the whole mess altogether and to attend to his own needs in a world which increasingly makes life too difficult to take on dependants. To survive, he has to go his own way.
If women are as smart and strong as this survey wants to believe, they’ll deal with it. They’ll stop complaining that “suitable” men don’t want to play House with them, because they are intelligent enough to see why this is.
If not, oh well! Welcome to equality!