Opt Out of Marriage? But Why?


In this post Dalrock confirms that,

We didn’t modify our marriage based family structure to allow an exception for the child support model, we replaced the marriage model with the child support model and created a very limited exception for marriage.

The child support model is now the rule of the land, our official family structure.  Parents are permitted to opt out of the child support structure only so long as both of them wish to continue opting out.

This was in response to Dr Helen’s post which had this nugget,

Women use the government as a way to control men, then they complain that men don’t want much to do with them. It’s a vicious cycle but one that most women are okay with.

If women are OK with this policy, then the government and academics should try to dig down and see why this is.  But since they won’t, that leaves it up to us.  Here are some ideas why women are perfectly fine with this scheme,

1.  They don’t want to have to accommodate to a man’s needs and desires (with one exception). The flip side is that they want to do whatever it is that they want to do.

2.  They want the tingles from sexy guys.  And yes, they will accommodate to these men’s desires.  At least in the short term.

3.  They don’t understand / want to understand / pretend not to understand that men have a positive role to play as fathers other than the breadwinner aspect.

4.  They are “sticking it to the man (or rather men as a whole)”.  But it is with a nuclear tipped boomerang.

Of course, there might be others, please chime in.  Your assignment is to parcel out percentages for the average woman for each aspect as the why they are good with the new policy.  Of course, this will all be based on anecdotal evidence, and would be readily dismissed by the academics and government officials.  But who knows?  Maybe some of them will read this, and perhaps some good will result.

P.S.  The elephant in the room is the children.  Women do seem to mostly care for their children, even though it often seems that they do not when considering their actions and inactions.  This is probably because their hamsters are so well developed. It would also seem that there is a huge hamster camped out at Washington, DC.

P.P.S.  NAWALT applies

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Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, Lies
75 comments on “Opt Out of Marriage? But Why?
  1. Yoda says:

    Tingles the greatest factor it is?
    Or illusion this would be?

    Like

  2. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Somebody who really hates men has sold women a bill of goods without explaining how it is going to work on a permanent basis.
    OOPS!

    Karen Straughan’s talk at Ryerson Univ. in Toronto filmed by Sandman and loaded onto youtbe Feb. 7, 2014.

    Like

  3. Tarnished says:

    The point of marriage is to raise children in a stable 2 parent home and/or show serious relationship commitment to another person that one actually wants to be tied down to.

    If one does not desire either children or serious commitment, then there is little reason to get married.

    Like

  4. You forgot an option Farm Boy, respectfully, that some women did all they could to make the relationship with their child’s father work out, and HE choose to leave, choose alcohol or drugs over his family, choose another woman over his family, etc. Now I am not saying this is the case the majority of the time or anything, but to assume all single moms are single by their own choice is kind of a leap.

    Not to mention having children puts a HUGE strain on a couple, especially in the first few years, something that is rarely discussed or talked about as openly as it should be. I saw a statistic once that a large number of divorces occur w/i two years of having a child. If so, why isn’t that front and center? Maybe if those couples had more support as young parents, more encouragement to stick it out, more help from friends and family, more would stay together? Our society is not very family friendly, for men, women, or children really.

    But IMHO being a single mom/dad is way harder than having a partner, why anyone would choose to be a single mom/dad if it could be avoided is beyond me, but I know some do. Child support is no replacement for a two parent household, not by a long shot. I live it every day, I would not advise a woman/man choose that option if she/he had a partner who was willing and the situation wasn’t so dysfunctional/abusive that leaving truly was the best option (and I think this was the initial idea…not that people would leave just because they were unhaaaaapy but because they and their children were in danger — and men can be in danger of abuse and dysfunction same as women.)

    Ok sorry, I don’t mean to be ranting or difficult. Carry on…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Another possible cause, our culture often provides more support for women leaving a marriage than in sticking one out if she’s just unhaaaaapy? Women are often guilty of this when speaking of marriage issues with other women, it can all too often go there, “You go girl!” (I am not sure this hold for men, I don’t think men get support for leaving most of the time unless things are really really bad.)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Another possibility, divorce is so easy now, and the social stigma is much less, that it is almost becoming a “normal” in our culture? Like people almost expect it? A rite of passage? I dunno, I need to stop talking and go to the store…lucky for all of you! 😀 Carry on…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Tarnished says:

    Now I am not saying this is the case the majority of the time or anything, but to assume all single moms are single by their own choice is kind of a leap.

    This is a good point, Bloom. Happened to my mother twice. Yes, she initiated the divorce both times so she’d fit into the 70% divorce statistic…but I can honestly say that she was right and was watching out for my/my sibling’s health in doing so.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Tarnished says:

    I am not sure this hold for men, I don’t think men get support for leaving most of the time unless things are really really bad.

    From what I’ve seen…they don’t. There’s 5 guys that shop at my store every few months that are single dads due to divorces. They seem like truly great parents, and make sure that their kids have a feminine presence in their lives when mom is out of the picture…same as my mom did with having a masculine influence for me between her marriages. But it’s not an easy job by any stretch of the imagination, and they don’t have the same support groups that single mothers do. And of course, there’s the difficulty in finding a date who is okay with him being a single parent…

    Liked by 2 people

  9. True Tarn, good points!

    Like

  10. SFC Ton says:

    Being a single father was infinitely easier then being married. Having a wife is an additional set of burdens. Probably is tough to be a single mom as you have to take on .more work but as a single father my burdens where greatly reduced ie not having to shoulder her bullshit as well as responsibilities of taking care of the kids

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Yoda says:

    divorce is so easy now, and the social stigma is much less, that it is almost becoming a “normal” in our culture? Like people almost expect it? A rite of passage?

    For women true this might be.
    For guys — not so much.
    Telling this is.

    Like

  12. @ Yoda I would agree, women are more likely influenced by other women mostly to move on. I wonder why this is?

    Like

  13. Yoda says:

    Women are often guilty of this when speaking of marriage issues with other women, it can all too often go there, “You go girl!”

    Women cheer for divorce they do.
    Wonder why I do.
    If “freedom” so great, why marry they do?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Yoda says:

    Think like me at same time you do.
    Jedi mind tricks work at distance they can.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. @ Yoda see the previous thread for some possible reasons, now misdirected in a safe environment? Hummm.

    Like

  16. Yoda says:

    They don’t understand / want to understand / pretend not to understand that men have a positive role to play as fathers other than the breadwinner aspect.

    So which is it, it is?

    Like

  17. Poseidon says:

    “@ Yoda I would agree, women are more likely influenced by other women mostly to move on. I wonder why this is?”

    Because women get something emotionally fulfilling out of commiserating (either honestly or dishonestly) with one another. Griping to each other about their awful husbands is at the top of the list of emotionally sating behaviors women indulge in together. Logical that these pathological conversation events lead to the “you go girl” divorce advice.

    Men do other stuff.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    This whole issue has got me down. There are a lot of forces at work that are far more powerful thatn the individual man trying to render him only useful for the checks that he can post every month. Beyond that, who gives a flying f*ck?
    In the wake of all that, they expect men to cooperate?

    Like

  19. Tarnished says:

    If “freedom” so great, why marry they do?

    Peer pressure and fear.
    The idea of being single, sometimes even only for a few months, creates a literal mental discomfort in a lot of women. I don’t think it’s purely a case of them fearing being undesirable either (although for some this is certainly part of it)…It’s just that girls are raised to put so much value/status in the concept of being in a relationship, that they will stay in a horrible one or date someone they’re not really attracted to simply to avoid being alone.

    https://tarnishedsophia.wordpress.com/2013/11/15/alone-doesnt-always-mean-lonely/

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Poseidon that’s why wise women avoid such negative “my man is soooo bad” hen sessions. Not a good game to play, or win!

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Plus, women tend to communicate by validation and such, so they may not really be intentionally wanting to encourage “go girl!” As much as she wants her friend to feel listened to and understood but it can come off as approval. When I am talking to women considering divorce and I warn them not to blow up their own family, they often look at me shocked, like maybe nobody has brought that idea up before. Women rarely directly confront each other or disagree openly, unless they openly don’t like each other. My theory is it all goes back to women living together in villages w the young and the old. They had to “get along.”

    Liked by 2 people

  22. At one time women kept other women in check w peer pressure, now it’s like the peer pressure is toward not being in check. “You go girl” is often really bad advice! :/

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Plus, then if a man tries to speak up against “you go girl” thinking, well then now he’s an oppressor! (Even when his advice is good!)

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Farm Boy says:

    that’s why wise women avoid such negative “my man is soooo bad” hen sessions.

    That is why they should leave and find new friends.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Farm Boy says:

    if a man tries to speak up against “you go girl” thinking, well then now he’s an oppressor!

    Stupid thinking is stupid thinking. Nature doesn’t oppress. It doesn’t care either.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Farm Boy says:

    They don’t want to have to accommodate to a man’s needs and desires (with one exception).

    Unfortunately that exception isn’t sammich making.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    I am listening to this. It’s long but it covers the basics.

    What Helen Smith had to say then hasn’t gone out of date.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. SFC Ton says:

    I reckon if a woman leaves her circle of friends every time they start to run their men down she’ll be friendless with a quickness.

    Trying to remember the last time I listened to women ans bitching, esp about men and domestic life, wasn’t on their agenda.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. jf13 says:

    This is the big one: “They don’t want to have to accommodate to a man’s needs and desires”

    Like

  30. Yoda says:

    I reckon if a woman leaves her circle of friends every time they start to run their men down she’ll be friendless with a quickness.

    Perhaps good this would be.
    More time to devote to the family she would have

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Liz says:

    “Perhaps good this would be.
    More time to devote to the family she would have”

    Could be isolating for the kids. Hard to get a good playgroup going by oneself.

    Like

  32. Farm Boy says:

    The idea of being single, sometimes even only for a few months, creates a literal mental discomfort in a lot of women.

    This doesn’t happen so much with men. Perhaps it is because they are men, and men adapt. For the 20’s is often a barren wasteland for them.

    Like

  33. Liz says:

    I try to lead more by example.

    Like

  34. Farm Boy says:

    The flip side is that they want to do whatever it is that they want to do.

    I wonder how much Oprah and the like influence this…

    Like

  35. Farm Boy says:

    I try to lead more by example.

    Lead what exactly?

    Like

  36. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Liz,
    I get the feeling that when the hens start in on their roosters, you either, try to change the subject, or find something else to do.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Yoda says:

    I get the feeling that when the hens start in on their roosters,

    Roosters inadaquate they are?
    Or hens expect too much they do?

    Like

  38. Spawny Get says:

    New guy to me, not bad at all

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Liz says:

    “Liz,
    I get the feeling that when the hens start in on their roosters, you either, try to change the subject, or find something else to do.”

    Yes. 🙂

    They seldom complain around me because I don’t complain to them, or take any interest in their complaints. I only say nice things about my husband.

    Liked by 2 people

  40. Liz says:

    “Lead what exactly?”

    Lead in this context= provide an example to emulate.

    Like

  41. Since encountering the red pill I often see those times the gals get complaining as “teachable moments” and I try to drop in a red pill perspective, inject a male-positive spin. Or I tell dating/single mom stories, to illustrate the grass isn’t greener. It usually works. 😀 Before the red pill, I would just sit there clucking on and on like the rest. Way too many women do this, and would be wise to avoid the mate-bashing bonding sessions.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Spawny Get says:

    Touches on the bad boy vs nebish issue at around 15 minutes

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Off topic: last weekend while at the party with my friend’s (a guy I went to college and his very neat girlfriend of several years who is now my good friend too!) Anyway my friend’s sister, late 30s, was there. She’s separated from and frivorcing her hubby. They have a 15yo girl, 13 yo boy. Her ex(?) and their son were there. She knows I am single, I noticed all night she was positioning herself between him and me. I have NO interest in getting involved in a frivorce train wreck, but I found it telling that she was still mate guarding him. Hopefully she figures it out before it is too late.

    I have also known her for several years, she was spouting femininist dogma stuff, I was countering red pill, all in a good-natured fun way, a whole table of us got going, debating the pros and cons of each. It was interesting, hopefully some of that took root.

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Liz says:

    Last month we went out with some friends. A friend of ours and Mike had a birthday on the same day and we met up with him and his girlfriend to celebrate. Basically we spent the whole afternoon and evening with them (kids were there for part of it).

    I’d never met his girlfriend before, she lives a few hours away. He’s in his late 20s she’s early 20s. Later he said she mentioned how “sweet Mike is on Liz” implying he wasn’t that way toward her. He explained that she isn’t a good person, and cited some examples of what I do. I’m sure she wasn’t happy about that response but it probably made an impression.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Liz says:

    She= the girlfriend, above.

    Like

  46. @ Liz, ouch! I bet that was a tense discussion! Do you know what kinds of things he told her you do that she wasn’t? Just curious…

    Like

  47. Liz says:

    Yeah it wasn’t kind. But apparently she isn’t a good person. He didn’t elaborate. He finds a lot of cray cray girls. Always interesting to see both sides. On the one end she’s telling me she loves him and needs a commitment on the other end he doesn’t even refer to her as his girlfriend. It’s like talking to two people who don’t even know each other…but that’s another story.

    Like

  48. Liz says:

    That’s probably exactly the example of alpha behavior some refer to as dread and seem to think necessary for a relationship to work. He doesn’t care and that makes her want him more. Because she is crazy not because she is female. He’ll show me texts of other crazy exes. He gets them all the time
    ‘Do you ever think about me?’
    His answer: no
    ‘(Some long winded love letter response)’
    Bitches b slutty and crazy. Wasn’t always this way

    Like

  49. Yoda says:

    By being a “skittles man” effective one can be.

    Like

  50. SFC Ton says:

    Men find a lot of cray cray girls because that’s pretty much all there is.

    Even the “sane” ones get sane in air quotes

    Liked by 2 people

  51. theasdgamer says:

    @ Liz

    Yes. 🙂

    They seldom complain around me because I don’t complain to them, or take any interest in their complaints. I only say nice things about my husband.

    So you talk about nice things your husband does for you? Do you mention a lot of nice things that you do FOR your husband? That would be leading by example.

    Like

  52. Liz says:

    “So you talk about nice things your husband does for you? Do you mention a lot of nice things that you do FOR your husband? That would be leading by example.”

    I say nice things about my husband= I say complimentary things about his personality/character/intelligence/humor and so forth.

    I don’t humble-brag (“talk about nice things he does for me” and/or “nice things I do for him”). There’s no point. My mom used to fashion herself a martyr and humble brag all day about how she suffered and did so very much for everyone else and what a great wife and mother she was. It was all bullshit.

    Like

  53. Liz says:

    It’s actually a bit of a red flag for me when a woman tells me how much she does and/or suffers and this and that.

    Like

  54. theasdgamer says:

    Strawwoman brags about her beta husband, “He gives great foot massages.”

    Like

  55. theasdgamer says:

    The red flag is when a woman’s speech indicates that she is higher value (who grooms whom). Alphas are groomed by women and women are groomed by betas.

    Like

  56. Yoda says:

    It’s actually a bit of a red flag for me when a woman tells me how much she does and/or suffers and this and that.

    Wait till mother’s day you should.
    Get’s rather thick then

    Like

  57. Yoda says:

    Men find a lot of cray cray girls because that’s pretty much all there is.

    Product of lifted constraints in resource rich environment this is.

    Like

  58. Yoda says:

    She knows I am single, I noticed all night she was positioning herself between him and me

    If frivorcing she is,
    she should care not.

    Liked by 1 person

  59. Yoda says:

    I often see those times the gals get complaining as “teachable moments” and I try to drop in a red pill perspective, inject a male-positive spin.

    Listen they do?

    Liked by 1 person

  60. @ Yoda, re the frivorce, I agree. It was odd, at the same time as she’s mate guarding him, she’s telling me that its “for sure completely over” as well as about her online dating exploits, right in front of him! What a b]+c#! Unbelievable. As for the mate guarding, I think it was likely more about her wanting to keep him as a resource than anything. Her backup plan?

    Do they listen? Sometimes…sometimes not (see above.)

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Her soon to be ex was listening to the red pill info pretty closely, tho! As was his son!

    Liked by 1 person

  62. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    I don’t doubt that she was mate guarding and, at the same time, crowing about her dating adventures. With Marriage 2.0, is she not entitled to his resources indefinitely?

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Omg Liz I just watched the video u posted at 11:09pm. It started out so nicely, I was thinking, “Gosh Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise looked really hot in this film”, and then it became so creepy and crazy. And from what I read, the male character became really disfigured after that. Sounds depressing but the reviews were mixed and intriguing; I’ll add it to my To-Watch List. 🙂

    Like

  64. Liz says:

    “Omg Liz I just watched the video u posted at 11:09pm. It started out so nicely, I was thinking, “Gosh Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise looked really hot in this film”, and then it became so creepy and crazy. And from what I read, the male character became really disfigured after that. Sounds depressing but the reviews were mixed and intriguing; I’ll add it to my To-Watch List.”

    Vanilla Skies was a pretty interesting and unusual movie (it’s not for everyone…people who are ‘artsy’ types seem to like it. If you like Mulholland drive, for instance, you might like this one)

    That scene pretty much epitomizes who make cray would a cray-cray cray if a cray-cray could go cray. (I’ve known women who are basically this crazy, quite a few of them unfortunately…one tried to run me over with her car)

    Liked by 1 person

  65. Liz says:

    epitomizes “how much” not “who make”….not sure how that typo happened up there.

    Like

  66. “I’ve known women who are basically this crazy, quite a few of them unfortunately…one tried to run me over with her car”.

    Wow u know a few women this crazy? And one tried to run u over?? What happened before and after that? :O I’m glad u’re safe and sound. Damn it’s a scary world out there. O_O

    So far my female friends have been quite sane, they have character flaws I’m sure, like most of us, but fundamentally sane. Lol.

    Like

  67. Gosh Bloom, that lady acquaintance of yours really sounds horrible. And her teen kids are witnessing her behaviour, what a crappy example she’s setting. Some women don’t seem to understand how painful it is for their kids to see one parent mistreat the other parent.

    Maybe this sounds b-tchy, but I kinda hope her ex ends up with a nicer (and hotter) lady. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Teehee tomoro is a holiday here–Labour Day. I think it’s also a holiday in the UK. Americans have to wait all the way till September for yours. :p

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Liz says:

    Lol! I’ve seen a lot, Alana. I don’t want to overshare.
    That girl wasn’t even the craziest one (but that first cray cray is memorable. I was in highschool at the time).

    Liked by 1 person

  70. Omg Liz, a girl tried to run u over in high school!! Your life sounds way more exciting than mine. :p Gosh I hope that girl has mellowed over the years, and not gotten even crazier…

    Oops don’t wanna leave Cill’s country out of this…New Zealand celebrates Labour Day in October. In New Zealand it “commemorates the struggle for an eight-hour working day” that was achieved in the 19th century, because many workers there used to have far longer working hours. That makes it a really meaningful holiday IMO 🙂

    Like

  71. Yoda says:

    Your life sounds way more exciting than mine

    One should crave excitement not.

    Liked by 2 people

  72. Agreed Alana, I was flabbergasted at her! Who does that???

    @ Fuzzie, sadly you are likely right. She seemed to be on some sort of Eat, Pray, Love self-indulgence trip. They married young, she used to be very religious but she started posting new agey woo woo type things on Facebook about two years ago. I am not sure exactly what happened in their marriage, but she absolutely was acting as if she is fully entitled to explore online dating and all she missed out on in her youth (?), while expecting him to wait for her to “figure it all out.” She’s always been a kook, even when religious she was one of the very judgy, looking down her nose, uptight sort. I really felt for the dad and son, and what kind of an example is she being for her daughter (who wasn’t there.) It was her lecturing her son on blue pill feminist stuff, the standard girls are always right and boys can suck out, that set me to red pill talking. Her son was asking how to know if it is ok to approach a girl, why girls don’t just say flat out they aren’t interested, dating type stuff. His mom was going on with the usual, “well you have to just know, and don’t be a creeper, etc.” I couldn’t stop myself…all very politely…but I clued him in red pill style, that set her off spouting feminist dogma, which I countered with red pill (but not saying it was red pill, just saying stuff like we would here as if it were common knowledge) The reaction was pretty interesting, she was looking at me like my head had snapped off. However to my surprise the younger gals and guys at the table (her son @13 and two girls 1st year of college, all there with their parents) were totally on board with the red pill logic, as was my friend, this gal’s brother. It was pretty interesting and the discussion went on for well over an hour.

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Yoda says:

    The reaction was pretty interesting, she was looking at me like my head had snapped off.

    Good deed you did.
    But with a thin neck as such, understand why she would think that I do.

    Liked by 1 person

  74. @ Yoda, I do have a long/thin neck but not as thin in my avatar!

    Liked by 1 person

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