WARNING Rumours of Porn Content in Waltzing Matilda


This post is the work of my good Aussie mate Choicy. I found it necessary to edit his first post fairly heavily, but I haven’t touched this second post of his at all.

You must play this video first. Otherwise the rest of the post will make even less sense than it already does.

Come along children, swing with me. One Two Three GO!

Once a jolly swagman sat beside a billabong,

Under the shade of a coulibah tree,

[Come along Spawny, sing up!]

And he sang as he watched and waited while his billy boiled,

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me.

[Fuzzie, no slacking mate I want to hear you loud and clear in the chorus]

Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me,

And he sang as he sat and waited while his billy boiled,

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me.

[Well done, Bloom, keep it up! Yoda, try to stay in tune]

Down came a jumbuck to drink out of the billabong

Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee

And he sang as he tucked that jumbuck in his tuckerbag,

‘You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me.’

[This time let’s see Farm Boy show some enthusiasm for the song]

    (Chorus)

Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me,

And he sang as he sat and waited while his billy boiled,

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me.

[If you open your mouth some sound might come out Yoda. Just sayin’..]

Down came the stockman, riding on his thoroughbred,

Down came the troopers, one, two, three.

Where’s the jolly jumbuck that you’ve got in your tuckerbag?

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me’.

[ jf13 we want more than a monotone, mate.]

(Chorus)

Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me,

And he sang as he sat and waited while his billy boiled,

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me.

[You held the tune well, Tarnished. More than I can say for you, Cautiously Pessimistic]

Up jumped the swagman and plunged into the billabong,

You’ll never catch me alive, cried he!

And his ghost may be heard as you ride beside the billabong,

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me.

[Hold up! (tap tap tap) Cill, you can’t sing with a throatful of grog, come on! You too SFC Ton. See if you can manage more than 3 notes Alana. Liz, pay attention please! Sumo wherever you are, heed what I said to Cill. Ready missattempts? Ready everybody? This is our last chance to Get.It.Right. One… Two… three… GO!]

    (Chorus)

Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me,

And he sang as he sat and waited while his billy boiled,

You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me.

 [Well done]

Choicy’s Helpful Hints

These hints may or may not be pertinent. It’s over to you jokers and women to distinguish the sheep from the goats (I tried to do it for you but failed in my present state).

“Which will gobble you quicker, a croc or a PPP?”

Which has more sexual allure: Big Red or a Cane Toad?

Best way to order croc?

“I’ll have the Croc salad and make it snappy!”, too gauche?

The *fun* is in the application …

“Tie me kangaroo down” Kinbaku / Shibari fun with marsupials…is it for everyone?

That’s why I crack jokes and be rediculous at times, btw, to give some comic relief

Galah vs Fembot in a battle of wits…can there be a winner in such a tournament of the unarmed? (“Galah” is also derogatory Australian slang, synonymous with ‘fool’ or ‘idiot’. As I hear it, such birds fly down the middle of roads oblivious to the traffic – they are dumb, fembot dumb perhaps?)

“such birds fly down the middle of roads oblivious to the traffic”
Now don’t you blame the birds for getting hit by cars…thas victim blaming that is

Is a vindaloo curry made with such birds colloquially called a ‘flaming galah’?

“What is Women Marsupials They Be” a good topic it is.

Translate “Waltzing Matilda” into Yodish someone could?
Similar to Lumberjack song it would be?

An Aussie feminist PPP roo that shuns shaving…a woolly jumper?

Confession

I fair fried when I typed this post at a sizzling pace. Watch out for chops and changes by me!

Good Wishes From Choicy

Get into it people! Have at it with vigor and verve!

Dig out that porn, bring out the mother of all exposés!

Cill says: Thank You Choicy

You’re a good sport to break into your heavy duty day relaxing on a beach (somewhere in the world 10 degrees either side of the equator) to knock up this post for us.

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Posted in Cill, Fun
282 comments on “WARNING Rumours of Porn Content in Waltzing Matilda
  1. Cill says:

    “bong” (in billabong) sounds close to “bonk”. “billabonk”. Bill a bonk??

    What the heck. Anyone for a mutual foot massage? Is Big Red out and about, these days? I wonder what Big Red’s version of Waltzing Matilda would be?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Sumo says:

    I wonder what Big Red’s version of Waltzing Matilda would be?

    “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!”

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Yoda says:

    If you open your mouth some sound might come out Yoda

    I need to do this not.
    Through Jedi Mind Tricks hear me you do.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Padawan says:

    .
    Big Red sings Waltzing Matilda (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    Cry me a river, cry me a river,
    You’ll come a crying a river with me,
    And she sang as she sat and waited while his testes boiled,
    You’ll come a crying a river with me.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Cill says:

    I wonder who’d win in a “Best Big Red version of Waltzing Matilda”?
    Padawan attempts rhyme while Sumo takes a more of a tradesman’s approach…

    Like

  6. Yoda says:

    I wonder what Big Red’s version of Waltzing Matilda would be?

    Probably munch the carpet of the goat she would.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sumo says:

    I’m content with it being a tie.

    Like

  8. Yoda says:

    And she sang as she sat and waited while his testes boiled,
    You’ll come a crying a river with me

    Sounds more like Ms. Valenti it does.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Choicy says:

    Cillo, as an outback man I award Sumo’s because it’s rough ‘n’ ready, although a city slicker wouldn’t concur I don’t think.

    Like

  10. Choicy says:

    “I’m content with it being a tie”
    No offence Sumo, do you do it dog style mate?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Choicy says:

    “Probably munch the carpet of the goat she would”
    Crikey, Yoda, does that say what I think it says?

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Sumo says:

    Choicy, no offence taken. i’ll do whatever I can get away with. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Padawan says:

    .
    Big Red Stars in Waltzing Matilda (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    Down came a fembot to fiddle with her private nurse
    Up jumped our Big Red and shagged them with glee
    And she sang as she tucked their scalps into her wampam bag,
    “Soon there’ll be nothing but men and me!”

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Choicy says:

    “i’ll do whatever I can get away with”
    Yeah I guessed that, Sumo, you don’t mind a tie. You won’t be getting away without taking the bitch with you, if you get dog-tied, eh mate? >:D

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Cill says:

    Sumo I’m wetting my whistle with Speights Southern Man beer this arvo while I watch Hurricanes vs Waratahs in Super Rugby. Had your first shot yet bro?

    Like

  16. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    *sniff* Until now, I never realized that our poor swagman never got a chance to waltz with Matilda.
    Watching this made me feel better.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Sumo says:

    Pfft. First shot? I’m on number 5.

    Probably going to have to stop soon, though. I’m backing up a friend on a catering job in the morning (10 p.m in my world right now), so I should try to be semi-sober and punctual.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Cill says:

    Well cheers Sumo!

    Like

  19. Choicy says:

    Wait on while I grab a tinny.

    Cheers boys! Juggalug!

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Choicy says:

    The Man From Snowy River! Good choice Fuzzie. I ride some wild brumbies IRL. Neat little geegees. Wild riding mate!

    Like

  21. Sumo says:

    WTF is a “tinny”? It had better be some form of booze, otherwise we’ll have to kick yer arse out of here, mate. Only hardcore alkys allowed in here at night.

    What!? It’s nighttime for ME, you bloody foreigners!

    Like

  22. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Wild horses??? Hmmmm…..

    Like

  23. Choicy says:

    A tinny is a can of beer. It’s so hot in outback Aus I drink tinnies near enough frozen and to hell with color and taste blah, it’s pour the cold down the throat real quick. Tinnies are colder and we don’t get time to pour into a glass.

    Like

  24. Cill says:

    Yeah like I told Choicy he likes them cold to kill the taste. He drinks Fosters FFS

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Choicy says:

    Mock Cillo, mock. Just you try surviving on any other beer in the Aussie desert, mate.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Sumo says:

    Oh, you poor bastard. If it wouldn’t cost an arm and a leg, I’d send you some prime Canuck beer. Although, that might ruin all other beer for you forever.

    Like

  27. Choicy says:

    Mates the fineries of beer are not worth a tin of shit in the desert. We drink Fosters at near enough to frozen cold. Once a man gets a taste for a beer he’ll defend it like an old friend. Fosters it is, my mates.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Cill says:

    Choicy, the fineries of beer are not worth a tin of shit to man who drinks them too cold to taste. I’ll give you a break though, Choicy mate. You know the desert, and the beer for it. I raise my Speights to you, mate.

    Like

  29. Choicy says:

    I sit with a dusky maiden by me on the sand and raise a Fosters to you. Bottoms up!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Cill says:

    How many other dusky maidens by you on the sand?

    Like

  31. Cill says:

    You bastard, you’ll keep.

    Like

  32. Choicy says:

    Yo must admut I got the laugh on you Cullo!

    Like

  33. Cill says:

    You ded you preck. Great to chat there Choicy.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Dusky maidens? If you have some left over, please send them our way.
    By the way, so you all know, the movie “Hidalgo” was fantasy. Arab stallions are good for only one thing and it is not racing. Choicy can verify this with hos customers.

    Like

  35. Choicy says:

    Yeah mate, we must meet up. It’s your turn to come Choicyside this time.

    Like

  36. Choicy says:

    Fuzzie, Arabs as what… best track racers? I hope I never said that. Did I?

    Like

  37. Cill says:

    Fuzzie, Choicy is on a beach at Bali or somewhere that latitude. His “dusky maiden by me on the sand” sounds like he’s a stud but he’s actually saying he’s not because in those parts of the world dusky maidens are in a white man’s face everywhere he goes. You can probably guess the sandpaper part of the joke. 🙂

    Like

  38. Omg really??? I am going to pretend I did not read this thread. Gnite ya’ll! 😉

    Like

  39. P.s I apologize if channeling my old women’s studies prof drove ya’ll to this… I was just joking!

    (Pffffft! Go on now, get! Chucks dishes at all involved!)

    Like

  40. Choicy says:

    That bad but.

    Like

  41. Choicy says:

    Awkward matee?

    Like

  42. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    Are you jealous of imaginary dusky maidens? Don’t worry, they’re imaginary.
    Imagine bear ducking to avoid flying crockery.

    Choicy,
    No, I never meant to put words like that in your mouth. I do have it on good authority that the Arab stallions are only good for breeding.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Cill says:

    Continue by email?

    Like

  44. Choicy says:

    Fuzzie yes. The Turkish horse in days of George #? of England brought some “staying” genes into English thoroughbred line. Staying, not speed. “Some”? Debatable.

    Like

  45. Cill says:

    There’s an old-established myth that the crusaders’ horses were large and slow compared with the Saracen horses. The English horses were actually smaller and more nimble.

    Like

  46. Cill says:

    It’s okay. This site hangs from a strong thread bro. You’re good.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. Choicy says:

    Men, I’ll just relax here for a bit. Choicy on hold.

    Like

  48. Cill says:

    Me too

    Like

  49. Choicy says:

    Revive to give final SR score mate.

    Like

  50. Cill says:

    Hurricanes 25 Waratahs 29

    Like

  51. Spawny Get says:

    Choicy chooses Festers and he wouldn’t give a four x for anything else?

    Each to his own, I guess.

    Like

  52. Cill says:

    Highlanders vs Blues starts 7:30 NZ T

    Like

  53. Spawny Get says:

    Waltzing Matilda as molesting his bedroll?
    Think it was that one legged Aussie comedian who claimed that on pomtv.

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Spawny Get says:

    Things to do today, catch you lot later

    Like

  55. Choicy says:

    Spawny 4X is not worth a flying fuck. Cheers mate.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. Cill says:

    Have a good day Spawny me old mate

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Spawny Get says:

    Notice I didn’t even touch the sheep…errm, I mean the subject of the jumbuck

    Liked by 2 people

  58. Choicy says:

    … old garden gate.
    I like “me old sunshine”.

    Like

  59. Cill says:

    You’re an angel

    Like

  60. Choicy says:

    Steady Cillo steady

    Like

  61. Cill says:

    Hang on, he said he didn’t even touch the sheep. He’s an angel.

    Liked by 2 people

  62. Cill says:

    Half time
    Highlanders 24 Blues zip

    The Masters of Chaos (Highlanders) are stretching the possibilities into the realms of the unknown. I like this. Rugby the greatest sport.

    Like

  63. SFC Ton says:

    5 shots? Must be lunch hour in Canada

    Liked by 3 people

  64. Spawny Get says:

    The Eccentric Party launches its manifesto

    – Obesity epidemic to be solved by putting superglue in lip balm
    – Immigration to be solved by putting up big pictures of Katie Hopkins and Russell Brand at all UK entry points
    – All Sleeping Policemen (road traffic calming humps) to be replaced by members of The House of Lords
    – 15% off all phone bills for people that stutter
    – Kids to be required to read a book for every ten selfies that they take
    – Nationalise crime to ensure that it doesn’t pay

    Liked by 5 people

  65. You’d have my vote, if I lived in Englad that is, sounds like you’ve got enough immigrants there already, so I’ll support it from across the ocean.

    P.s. good call leaving the sheep part out of the party platform. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  66. Spawny Get says:

    That is a real party BTW. I think they split off from the Monster Raving Loony Party

    Sheep? Baa, just keepin’ it classy

    Liked by 2 people

  67. missattempts says:

    Is “Waltzing Matilda” in the same league as “Bring Back My Bonnie To Me?”
    Something that Commonwealth soldiers sing far away from home?
    When I was in Grammar school, my teacher played the record, then she had the pupils
    write the lyrics on paper. Some students wrote:

    “My BODY lies over the ocean
    My body lies over the sea.
    My body lies over the ocean
    Bring back my body to me.

    Is that the correct rendering of the song?
    Someone also said that “Waltzing Matilda” was a very sad song.
    They played it over and over again in the film “On The Beach.”
    “Darling Clamentine,” would be the American answer to those songs.

    Liked by 2 people

  68. “Galah” is also derogatory Australian slang, synonymous with ‘fool’ or ‘idiot’ ”

    Thanks, gonna use it on my Aussie friend asap.

    “Now don’t you blame the birds for getting hit by cars…thas victim blaming that is”

    Lol. Btw I see why birds fly south in the cold winter, but I’ve wondered why birds fly back north later. I know there must be a reason other than “They’ve got nothing better to do”…Animals generally do things that are rational, unlike humans. :p

    Liked by 2 people

  69. theasdgamer says:

    @ Spawny

    I’m voting for Jugs. Call me a jughead.

    Like

  70. theasdgamer says:

    I always sang the song, “Waltzing ma dilda…”

    Liked by 2 people

  71. theasdgamer says:

    @ Alana

    Btw I see why birds fly south in the cold winter, but I’ve wondered why birds fly back north later.I know there must be a reason other than “They’ve got nothing better to do”…

    It’s too far to walk. Heh.

    Liked by 3 people

  72. “It’s too far to walk”. Lol

    Like

  73. theasdgamer says:

    They want to renew their memberships in the Mile High Club.

    Liked by 3 people

  74. Alana I was going to guess it was somehow linked to food, but thought I should google it, and sure enough!

    http://www.birds.cornell.edu/AllAboutBirds/studying/migration/

    Seems it’ almost always about food and sex, in humans and animals alike!

    Liked by 2 people

  75. Farm Boy says:

    Kids to be required to read a book for every ten selfies that they take

    How about they just read books and never take selfies?

    Liked by 3 people

  76. Ahh thanks Bloom. Damn, birds are pretty smart. 🙂

    Like

  77. Yoda says:

    Moe,

    Sing your people do?

    Like

  78. Liz says:

    I didn’t understand this song.
    Something about a sheep and a guy waltzing his matilda?
    Is matilda the name of the sheep?
    Well, anyway…it’s all very very suggestive and lewd.
    So, obviously I like it.
    😛

    Liked by 2 people

  79. jf13 says:

    Waltzing Matilda implies comfort building through intimate embrace as well as public display of affection, perhaps even an announcement of coupling, by moving together. Even though one is leading, the implicit consent of the designated Matilda suffices since the invitation to waltz is made overtly.

    However, the boiling of his billy and the gleefulness of his grabbing are too aggressive.

    Liked by 2 people

  80. jf13 says:

    Wait a sec, this version does not contain an invitation to waltz but a command! What kind of partriarchal oppressor do you think you are?!

    Liked by 2 people

  81. jf13 says:

    Carrying one’s pack in the front limits arm usage, and blocks vision.

    Liked by 1 person

  82. jf13 says:

    @Liz
    The swagman (swag-man emphasizing the destructiveness of his masculinities) *threatens* you with getting you in his clutches from the opening verses all through the song. So of course all you heteronormative women like it.

    Liked by 2 people

  83. theasdgamer says:

    They want the mileage points for flying.

    Like

  84. Cill says:

    Liz “I didn’t understand this song.”

    Clearly, Liz, you skipped the opening video. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  85. theasdgamer says:

    Last night a crazy broad threw herself into a dip…twice…in three seconds…surpriseds me…lol…arched her back…must have carried 80 lbs on my biceps, plus momentum, considering she arched her back and didn’t carry much weight on her legs…lol…I have no idea how I kept her head from hitting the wooden floor.

    The “dance” was “swing”, which just consists of doing moves regardless of the beat or music. Men, if you do “swing” be ready for b1tches be dune crazy.

    Liked by 1 person

  86. jf13 says:

    Upon closer review, although the threat to women is implied, as it is in all society, in this song the action is amongst males, which besides promoting the idea of the irrelevancy and passivity of females, means it must be about racial oppression.

    The “jolly” aka white and well-fed swagman invades the dusky jumbuck’s neighborhood, and takes his life away for his own amusement! The white man kills the black man and stuffs him in a body bag and dances with it!

    Then the white *owner* of the black man, and his bribed fellow white oppressors, come and make the most denigrating comparison in history: they say that depriving a white man of the ability to exploit a black man is the moral equivalent of depriving a black man of his life.

    Liked by 1 person

  87. Liz says:

    “Clearly, Liz, you skipped the opening video”

    I like ambiguity and a little mystery in my porn.
    😛

    Liked by 3 people

  88. Liz says:

    “Last night a crazy broad threw herself into a dip…twice…in three seconds…surpriseds me…lol…arched her back…must have carried 80 lbs on my biceps, plus momentum, considering she arched her back and didn’t carry much weight on her legs…lol…I have no idea how I kept her head from hitting the wooden floor.”

    Sure she wasnt’ having a seizure? 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  89. jf13 says:

    Note that it is the calling of some males “Matilda” that the author tells us that those males are to be considered inferior, weak, passive.

    It’s all in the Spelling.

    Liked by 1 person

  90. I don’t get the song either. Ok I admit it, I skipped the video. I will watch it if Liz will! 🙂

    Like

  91. But before I watch this porn video, will it give me computer viruses? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  92. jf13 says:

    I’m certain the versions I’ve heard over here, with my body lying over the ocean, contained the polite requests “Won’t you come a-waltzing” and “Will you come waltzing”.

    Liked by 1 person

  93. theasdgamer says:

    Sure she wasnt’ having a seizure?

    some substance with an -OH group…heh…good thing I did seize her…twice…Raaaape!…lol

    Reminds me, did an advanced move last night with my married dance buddy…lol…my right arm crossed her torso and my hand rested on her left hip…and her tummy…very close to the sweaty area…lol…just happened…lol…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

    She was wearing a miniskirt and did a developpe while I was supporting her…she raised one of her knees…hope she wasn’t, er, was wearing dance underwear…lol…obviously, having my hands all over her body creeps her out…lol….

    Now Liz will never want to go dancing with me..heh.

    Liked by 1 person

  94. theasdgamer says:

    My best friend and I really did sing Waltzing Ma Dilda and made up our own obscene and heard lyrics. And quoted Locker Room Limericks as well. Great memories!

    “There was a young girl from Mobile…who had b00bs made of blue steel…she got her thrills from pneumatic drills and off-centered emery wheels.”

    Liked by 1 person

  95. Cill says:

    YOU MUST WATCH THE VIDEO

    Liked by 2 people

  96. Spawny Get says:

    I’ve always wondered about that Murican classic which includes the lines
    ‘I drove my Chevy up her levee, but her levee was dry’

    Liked by 2 people

  97. Farm Boy says:

    From wikepedia

    “Waltzing Matilda” is Australia’s most widely known bush ballad, and has been referred to as “the unofficial national anthem of Australia”.

    The title is Australian slang for travelling on foot (waltzing, derived from the German auf der Walz) with one’s belongings in a “Matilda” (swag) slung over one’s back. The song narrates the story of an itinerant worker, or “swagman”, making a drink of tea at a bush camp and capturing a jumbuck (sheep) to eat. When the sheep’s owner arrives with three police officers to arrest the worker for the theft, the worker commits suicide by drowning himself in the nearby watering hole, after which his ghost haunts the site.

    The original lyrics were written in 1895 by poet and nationalist Banjo Paterson. It was first published as sheet music in 1903. Extensive folklore surrounds the song and the process of its creation, to the extent that the song has its own museum, the Waltzing Matilda Centre in Winton, Queensland. In 2012, to remind Australians of the song’s significance, Winton organised the inaugural Waltzing Matilda Day to be held on 6 April, the anniversary of its first performance.

    Writing of the song

    The Combo Waterhole is thought to be the location of the story that inspired “Waltzing Matilda”.
    The Australian poet Banjo Paterson wrote the words to “Waltzing Matilda” in January 1895 while staying at Dagworth Homestead, a livestock station near Winton in western Queensland owned by the Macpherson family. The words were written to a tune played on a zither or autoharp by 31 year-old Christina Macpherson,[7] one of the family members at the station. Macpherson had heard the tune “The Craigielee March” played by a military band while attending the Warrnambool steeplechase horse racing in Victoria in April 1894, and played it back by ear at Dagworth. Paterson decided that the music would be a good piece to set lyrics to, and produced the original version during the rest of his stay at the station and in Winton.[8][9]

    The march itself was based on the Scottish Celtic folk tune “Thou Bonnie Wood of Craigielea”,[8] written by Robert Tannahill and first published in 1806, with James Barr composing the music in 1818.[10] In the early 1890s it was arranged as the “The Craigielee” march music for brass band by Thomas Bulch. This tune itself was possibly based on the old melody of “Go to the Devil and Shake Yourself”, composed by John Field (1782–1837) sometime before 1812. It is sometimes also called “When Sick Is It Tea You Want?” (London 1798) or “The Penniless Traveller” (O’Neill’s 1850 collection).[citation needed]

    A fortified temporary shearing shed at Dagworth Station following the 1894 arson of the main shed. The three troopers at left are thought to be those referred to in “Waltzing Matilda”, while the squatter was Bob Macpherson, fourth from right[8]
    It has been widely accepted[11] that “Waltzing Matilda” is probably based on the following story:

    In Queensland in 1891 the Great Shearers’ Strike brought the colony close to civil war and was broken only after the Premier of Queensland, Samuel Griffith, called in the military. In September 1894, on a station called Dagworth (north of Winton), some shearers were again on strike. It turned violent with the strikers firing their rifles and pistols in the air and setting fire to the woolshed at the Dagworth Homestead, killing dozens of sheep. The owner of Dagworth Homestead and three policemen gave chase to a man named Samuel Hoffmeister – also known as “French(y)”. Rather than be captured, Hoffmeister shot and killed himself at the Combo Waterhole.

    Bob Macpherson (the brother of Christina) and Paterson are said to have taken rides together at Dagworth. Here they would probably have passed the Combo Waterhole, where Macpherson is purported to have told this story to Paterson. Although not remaining in close contact, Paterson and Christina Macpherson both maintained this version of events until their deaths. Amongst Macpherson’s belongings, found after her death in 1936, was an unopened letter to a music researcher that read “… one day I played (from ear) a tune, which I had heard played by a band at the Races in Warrnambool … he [Paterson] then said he thought he could write some words to it. He then and there wrote the first verse. We tried it and thought it went well, so he then wrote the other verses.” Similarly, in the early 1930s on ABC radio Paterson said “The shearers staged a strike and Macpherson’s woolshed at Dagworth was burnt down and a man was picked up dead … Miss Macpherson used to play a little Scottish tune on a zither and I put words to it and called it “Waltzing Matilda”.

    Typical lyrics[edit]
    There are no “official” lyrics to “Waltzing Matilda” and slight variations can be found in different sources.[21] This version incorporates the famous “You’ll never catch me alive said he” variation introduced by the Billy Tea company.[17] Paterson’s original lyrics referred to “drowning himself ‘neath the coolibah tree”.[22]

    “Waltzing Matilda”
    MENU0:00
    Tune for “Waltzing Matilda”
    Problems playing this file? See media help.

    The original manuscript of “Waltzing Matilda”, transcribed by Christina Macpherson c. 1895.
    Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong
    Under the shade of a coolibah tree,
    And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled:
    “Who’ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me?”

    Chorus:
    Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
    You’ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me
    And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled:
    “You’ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me.”

    Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong.
    Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee.
    And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tucker bag:
    “You’ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me.”

    (Chorus)

    Up rode the squatter, mounted on his thoroughbred.
    Down came the troopers, one, two, and three.
    “Whose[N 1] is that [N 2] jumbuck you’ve got in your tucker bag?
    You’ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me.”

    (Chorus)

    Up jumped the swagman and sprang into the billabong.
    “You’ll never take me alive!” said he
    And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong:
    “Who’ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me?”

    (Chorus)

    The lyrics contain many distinctively Australian English words, some now rarely used outside of the song. These include:

    waltzing
    derived from the German term auf der Walz, which means to travel while working as a craftsman and learn new techniques from other masters before returning home after three years and one day, a custom which is still in use today among carpenters.

    Matilda
    a romantic term for a swagman’s bundle. See below, “Waltzing Matilda”.

    Waltzing Matilda
    from the above terms, “to waltz Matilda” is to travel with a swag, that is, with all one’s belongings on one’s back wrapped in a blanket or cloth. The exact origins of the term “Matilda” are disputed; one fanciful derivation states that when swagmen met each other at their gatherings, there were rarely women to dance with. Nonetheless, they enjoyed a dance and so danced with their swags, which was given a woman’s name. However, this appears to be influenced by the word “waltz”, hence the introduction of dancing. It seems more likely that, as a swagman’s only companion, the swag came to be personified as a woman.

    Matilda is an old Teutonic female name meaning “mighty battle maid”. This may have informed the use of “Matilda” as a slang term to mean a de facto wife who accompanied a wanderer. In the Australian bush a man’s swag was regarded as a sleeping partner, hence his “Matilda”. (Letter to Rt. Hon. Sir Winston Churchill, KG from Harry Hastings Pearce, 19 February 1958. Harry Pearce Papers, NLA Manuscript Collection, MS2765)[24]

    swagman
    a man who travelled the country looking for work. The swagman’s “swag” was a bed roll that bundled his belongings.

    billabong
    an oxbow lake (a cut-off river bend) found alongside a meandering river.

    coolibah tree
    a kind of eucalyptus tree which grows near billabongs.

    jumbuck
    a sheep.

    billy
    a can for boiling water in, usually 2–3 pints.

    tucker bag
    a bag for carrying food (“tucker”).

    troopers
    policemen.

    squatter
    Australian squatters started as early farmers who raised livestock on land which they did not legally have the right to use; in many cases they later gained legal use of the land even though they did not have full possession, and became wealthy thanks to these large land holdings. The squatter’s claim to the land may be as uncertain as the swagman’s claim to the jumbuck.

    Liked by 1 person

  98. Spawny Get says:

    And watch my one too, the Black Russian Codpiece. It’s from the Beeb, it IS safe for work. Blackadder series 1.

    Liked by 2 people

  99. Cill says:

    Alana “Btw I see why birds fly south in the cold winter, but I’ve wondered why birds fly back north later.”

    To escape the clutches of the swagman in the foggy foggy dew.

    Liked by 1 person

  100. Omg I just watched the video. Trauma. Traumatized! For God’s sake don’t they have trigger warnings in the Outback? What language was that? What did those four guys do with that poor sheep? Sooooo many questions! I am afraid of the answers! (Rocking in the fetal position in the corner sucking my thumb)

    Like

  101. That codpiece video was Jamarion’s! The Black Russian! Lol

    Like

  102. Hilarious, I meant. Darn autocorrect!

    What does Jamiron’s even mean? Oh wait, never mind, I don’t want to know! La la la…

    Like

  103. jf13 says:

    The troopers were going to frog-march the swagman, not carry him on their backs.

    Like

  104. jf13 says:

    Jamarion is Freudian spelling-slippage for black adder.

    Liked by 1 person

  105. Spawny Get says:

    “What does Jamiron’s even mean?”
    I was wondering.

    Liked by 1 person

  106. jf13 says:

    Autocorrect algorithms need spankings occasionally.

    Liked by 1 person

  107. Cill says:

    Brilliant analysis of Waltzing Matilda by jf6 13 at 18 April, 2015 at 3:35 pm. Should be the stuff of kiddies’ coloring books.

    Liked by 1 person

  108. Cill says:

    “The original lyrics were written in 1895 by poet and nationalist Banjo Paterson”
    Same man who wrote “Mulger Bill’s Bicycle” and a hilarious poem that included the words “That dumb and stupid woman the British call the Queen.”
    For writing those words Banjo had to take to the bush with the Constabulary in hot pursuit.

    Liked by 1 person

  109. Farm Boy says:

    Here is real man Pr0n. The ultimate action movie. Being released in a month.

    Liked by 3 people

  110. Was that Ton in the opening scene? Gosh Farm Boy, your taste in movie sis…is…is ummm unexpected? Looks like a winner (Bloom gives it two thumbs up!)

    Like

  111. Moehau Man says:

    “Moe, Sing your people do?”

    Yes well, refer to my Gravitar profile you should.

    As Miss Moehau Man Sassy (my nubile young neighbour-cave dweller) once teased, “You have a mouse, use it”, she did.

    Liked by 1 person

  112. @ jf13 agreed, it was like being back in English Lit class and wondering how the teacher pulled so much nuance (nonsense? No, no nuance) out of a text. Bravo!

    Like

  113. Cill says:

    asd 18 April, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Spot on. Your dance was an crazy rendition of what the Aussie swagmen did with their swags (backpacks). Change “floor” to dirt” though.

    jf 6 13 almost got there at 18 April, 2015 at 3:48 pm with his comment re carrying one’s pack in front. However…

    The Annual Walzing Matilda Award goes to asd.
    LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  114. Cill says:

    Tell me you blokes, did you know what “Matilda” means before you wrote your comments, or was it by luck you got it right?

    Like

  115. Cill says:

    “Matilda” means swag (backpack). There were no women in the boonies so they danced with their swags for fun.

    Like

  116. Spawny Get says:

    There was an Aussie comedian claiming that Waltzing Matilda meant shagging your bedroll…and in the song, a sheep turns up…coincidence?

    Liked by 1 person

  117. Always w the sheep bit Spawny… Always w the sheep. Cloinky dink? Hummm

    Liked by 4 people

  118. Cill says:

    For his sheep fetish Spawny does most certainly not require desensitization.

    Liked by 2 people

  119. Spawny Get says:

    No good trying to start a troll war with me over the issue, Cill. It’s not a hot mutton…I mean Button! issue for me

    Liked by 3 people

  120. Padawan says:

    Desensitization Treatment for Spawny’s Sheep Fetish (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    One should put Spawny with sheepies with dread
    Rub wool on his bum and it goes to his head

    Liked by 2 people

  121. Cill says:

    BTW Jamirons mean cod crushers. At least that’s what it means Down Under. Dunno what it means elsewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  122. Spawny Get says:

    DAMMIT it’s happened again! The like button is clearly broken on my Hot Mutton Button comment

    Liked by 2 people

  123. Liz says:

    I suspect everyone has heard this one, but it’s always a goody! 🙂

    A man washed up on a desert island after a ship wreck.
    The only other survivors were a sheep and a sheepdog.
    The three of them got into the habit of going down to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds and the breeze was warm and gentle. It was a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over and put his arm around the sheep. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man backed away.

    A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Lena Dunham. That evening, the man took Lena to watch the sunset. It was another beautiful tropical evening-perfect for romance. Before long the man started to get “those feelings” again. He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in, moved closer to Lena and told her he hadn’t had sex for months. Lena batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do to help.
    “Yes,” he said, “Take the dog for a walk.”

    Liked by 5 people

  124. Cill says:

    “DAMMIT it’s happened again! The like button is clearly broken on my Hot Mutton Button comment”

    Just proves, be careful what you wish for 😉

    Like

  125. Spawny Get says:

    I just rediscovered how quickly I can go off of someone

    Like

  126. Moehau Man says:

    Yes well, even I get Liz’s joke at 6:56 pm.

    heh heh heh

    And Spawny’s Hot Mutton Button. It takes a caveman to know one.

    heh heh heh

    Liked by 2 people

  127. Ok now I have found mysf humming waltzing Matilda several times since watching the video!

    I also find myself thinking of all you people’s clever comments and chuckling to myself. I probably shouldn’t do that when customers are around! :/

    Like

  128. To clarify, for the mind in the gutter types, no they are not *that* kind of customer!

    Like

  129. Padawan says:

    “I also find myself thinking of all you people’s clever comments and chuckling to myself.” (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    Hum Padawan at 3:44 a.m.
    Therapetic it will be and have you laughing again.

    Liked by 1 person

  130. Spawny Get says:

    There’s a guy who miraculously survives the wrecking of a cruise ship. When he wakes up, he finds himself on the beach of a tropical paradise, but his arms and legs have fallen off…(don’t you hate it when that happens?)

    Anyway, as he lays there contemplating his mixed fortunes, along the beach saunters a gorgeous woman. She’s just dripping in sex appeal. She comes closer and leans down to speak to him (huskily). She asks, “Have you ever been fcuked on a beach?”

    “No, no”, he stammers, “I haven’t”

    “Well…”, she says with a suggestive eyebrow raise, “you’re about to be…the tide’s coming in”

    Liked by 2 people

  131. Cill says:

    Okay, I had to be first to Like on that one

    Liked by 1 person

  132. theasdgamer says:

    Oh, I wasn’t clear, maybe. I caught the broad with a single arm. I may have had most of her weight on one arm at a 120 degree angle.

    Now as I look back, there were these three cute blonde sisters who wanted to dance with me after that occurrence. Was there a connection?

    White-knighting is a proxy for violence. Lead/follow dancing is a proxy for violence/sex. Riding motorcycles is a proxy for violence. Ballet is a…lol…no way!

    Like

  133. Spawny Get says:

    It was just the right thing to do, Cill.

    Like

  134. Cill says:

    I guess she could be excused for not dragging him to safety when he had nothing for her to drag him by, unless…

    Choice between getting fucked or unmanned.

    Liked by 2 people

  135. theasdgamer says:

    @ Rpg

    To clarify, for the mind in the gutter types, no they are not *that* kind of customer!

    Elaborate, ma cherie.

    Liked by 2 people

  136. Yoda says:

    there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Lena Dunham

    Float well she would

    Liked by 2 people

  137. Cill says:

    Not as well as Andrea would, though

    Liked by 1 person

  138. Yoda says:

    Before long the man started to get “those feelings” again

    Happen to Moe this does?

    Like

  139. Yoda says:

    Not as well as Andrea would, though

    Side by side comparison needed it is.

    Liked by 1 person

  140. Spawny Get says:

    “Side by side comparison needed it is.”

    In the interests of telling the barges apart:
    Dungam has the doodles (tatts)
    Andrea the craaaaazy hair

    Like

  141. Moehau Man says:

    “Before long the man started to get ‘those feelings’ again
    Happen to Moe this does?”

    Well…

    You foreign lot might’ve heard quite a few widely-spread anecdotes about me. Everyone has heard of the one where I challenged a bunch of Kiwis who wanted to enter a pass in the rugged Coromandel.

    “Big Moe”, I warned them, “is mighty hostile.”

    They handed me a gold watch. “Big Moe still hostile?” they asked.

    I nodded me head. “Big Moe still hostile.”

    They handed me a $100 bill, and pleaded, “Big Moe still hostile?”

    I nodded me head again. “Big Moe still hostile.”

    This palaver repeated until they’d run out of things to give me.

    Finally a voluptuous Kiwi sheila stepped forward. She did that hand-on-the-hip pose that lewd women do and asked, “Big Moe still hostile?”

    “Big Moe”, I growled deep in me throat, “is hoss style, dog style, any fucking style.”

    Liked by 1 person

  142. Yoda says:

    “Big Moe”, I growled deep in me throat, “is hoss style, dog style, any fucking style.”

    Probably goes for little Moe also this does.

    Liked by 2 people

  143. Cill says:

    They heard your anecdote already Moe, otherwise the Like button would have broken from excessive use, as it did for Spawny.

    Like

  144. Cill says:

    “Andrea the craaaaazy hair”

    What would happen if she swapped hair with Big Red?

    Like

  145. Cill says:

    My oversight:

    I have belatedly attributed this post to Choicy. My apologies Choicy.

    (He won’t hear me of course. He will at this time be deep in the arms of a dusky maiden Morpheus)

    Like

  146. Yes all this laughing is good for me! And I think it is bringing me luck, five minutes after opening my biz a couple walked in and spent $255! Cha ching! Nice way to start the weekend!

    Liked by 2 people

  147. Cill says:

    While you’re just starting the weekend, it’s 7:54 a.m. Sunday here. Funny old world, innit.

    Like

  148. But no Toblerone chocolate to celebrate with, drat!

    Like

  149. Moehau Man says:

    Yes well, I seem to remember Mrs Moehau Man (my scripture-steeped old mum) muttering something like “Man doth not live by Toblerone alone”

    Liked by 1 person

  150. I am curious Moe what your dear old mum thinks of your “hostile” story, hummm. Probably best not to tell her that one.

    Like

  151. P.s that is a good point about the Toblerone 😉 my comment was triggered by seeing the empty box just taunting me. 😉

    And on second thought, perhaps your mom would do you best to encourage your wild man ways, I don’t have any sons so perhaps I don’t know this… She sounds wise.

    Liked by 1 person

  152. Moehau Man says:

    Well, yes…
    When Mrs Moehau Man (my pragmatic old mum) saw me laden with loot, the questions died on her lips when I presented her with the gold watch. She does approve of my wild ways when they bring results. “Waste not yer wild ways on the barren and inopportune”, she once said.

    Liked by 1 person

  153. theasdgamer says:

    Carrying one’s pack in the front limits arm usage, and blocks vision.

    Blocks vision…of one’s package…by women viewers. P Need a dangling dongle near the…front…is an open fly enuf of a comeon?

    You all thought I was gonna say “dong” dintcha?

    Like

  154. theasdgamer says:

    I like ambiguity and a little mystery in my porn.

    For women, pr0n is all about imagination.

    Like

  155. Yoda says:

    What would happen if she swapped hair with Big Red?

    No longer Big Red she would be.

    Like

  156. Choicy says:

    Yoda, good mo0rning

    Like

  157. Yoda says:

    Saturday night here it is on Degoba.

    Like

  158. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Alison Tieman tells her side of it.

    Like

  159. Farm Boy says:

    Speaking of squatters, Moe, when you have to go, do you squat?

    Liked by 1 person

  160. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    If Moe is at all like me, he looks for a fallen tree trunk.

    Like

  161. Moehau Man says:

    Well a Moehau Man takes no satisfaction out of having a dump. It’s whilst a Moehau Man is incommoded that he is most vulnerable. Mrs Moehau Man (my earthy old mum) says “Take a quick heave and a dump so you don’t get jumped.”

    Liked by 1 person

  162. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    Did you go to the store for more Toblerone?

    Liked by 1 person

  163. Fuzzie, I did go to town for dinner w a gal who has kind of adopted me as her granddaughter/daughter (she has no kids herself and her husband passed away a few years ago, so I am her pet project I suppose! We became friends because I bought her family’s former property and live in the house her grandfather built, so now she is making sure I am taking good care of it! Nice lady, kinda like moe’s dear old mum) but darn it, I forgot the Toblerone, duh oh!

    Liked by 1 person

  164. Interestingly she did not like the ex fiancé right from the get go and she is very relieved we broke up! So she takes me to dinner on Sat since to cheer me up. Super nice lady, I am lucky to have her as a friend and I think she likes me too 🙂

    Like

  165. Cill says:

    I hasten to add that Mrs Moehau Man (Moe’s old mum) is more like Colin Mead’s mother than my own real mother. When I think about it, though, there are some similarities between Moe’s and my mums. Both are down to earth. Mine is more refined. Moe’s mum is made for cave living.

    Liked by 1 person

  166. Cill says:

    Reckon I’d do well in a cave myself. Spread a grass mat on some nice sandy floor, smooth cool rock for a pillow, lay down the weary head and drift away to the background sound of the sea… (sigh)
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Liked by 1 person

  167. Are you trolling for likes again Cill? Everybody join in, like Cill! Like like like him!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  168. Cill says:

    Just an insomniac trying to remember what sleep is like.

    Liked by 1 person

  169. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Ciill,
    i like Mrs. Moehau Man. She is direct and keeps things simple.

    Bloom,
    From now on, your adopted grandmother is your source. Before you invest in a suiotor, you have to run them past her.

    Liked by 2 people

  170. Cill says:

    “you have to run them past her.”
    … so she can give the rascals the paddywhack

    Liked by 1 person

  171. Yoda says:

    Unicorns in scene there are?

    Liked by 2 people

  172. SFC Ton says:

    That last one is a semi decent article Yoda but inherently failed since all it does is ask for feminism for men and fails to call for it’s defeat

    Liked by 3 people

  173. Cill says:

    I noticed that too. If feminism isn’t taken to task for the damage it has done, the lessons of history won’t be learned.

    Liked by 1 person

  174. Farm Boy says:

    Did you go to the store for more Toblerone?

    Do you live in one of those states that has legalized recreational Toblerone?

    Liked by 2 people

  175. Cill says:

    At risk of getting laughed out of town, what is Toblerone? I realize it’s a type of chocolate.
    What’s so special about it?

    (In case you’re wondering, I don’t have a sweet tooth. Seafoods are my thing, and farmkill and game.)

    Like

  176. theasdgamer says:

    The article is a beginning; it uses obvious, uncontroversial problems in order to persuade. When you’re trying to persuade, you begin with uncontroversial facts and build from there, moving to more controversial (as the claims are seen at the beginning) claims.

    Wisdom says to gather the low-hanging fruit first–the least risk/investment for the most return.

    Obviously, the book needs followup.

    Like

  177. theasdgamer says:

    Bloom, it’s good that you are beginning to realize that you need to vet your prospective mates and that you can’t rely on yourself to do that job adequately. So you need someone else. But your problem next will be whether you will give decision-making power to the vetter or just end up ignoring that person and regret ignoring that person later after the affair blows up.

    Liked by 1 person

  178. theasdgamer says:

    I realized today that MDB (married dancing buddy) was sitting by the cold water dispenser–likely for purpose besides getting water. Maybe for the same reason that carnivores wait at watering holes. I was dancing heavily and sucking water down like a fish. I left my cup on the table where MDB was sitting because it was conveniently near the water. Wonder why I ended up dancing with her so much.

    Damm, both my neurons are firing today. Then I go and curse on Sunday. Ah h311…[sheepish grin]

    Like

  179. Spawny Get says:

    The SJW satirist is Godfrey Elfwick. If you remember, he was trolling the ‘gay agriculture and animal husbandry’ schtick. He’s a trans woman of colour…honest

    Like

  180. Cill says:

    Damn I never thought I’d click on a my-little-pony link but I just did. What’s the world coming to?

    Liked by 2 people

  181. Cill says:

    The battle for the minds of the young. It’s been a bloody one-sided battle for far too long.
    Who would’ve thought a my-little-pony outfit would take up the cudgels? I couldn’t listen to all of it – I hate the “cute” voices – but a serious message for kids came across there.

    Liked by 1 person

  182. Cill says:

    I should 3-D print one and eat it.
    Better still, 3-D print a bottle of Jack. A full one.

    Like

  183. Toblerone is a brand of chocolate bar, shaped like a triangle. Despite my obsessing over it here, I only get them a few times a year when the mood strikes. I don’t really have a sweet tooth either Cill, and agree w you on the seafood!

    Liked by 1 person

  184. Cill says:

    I bet that has you rushing off for your shot glass, Sumo bro? XD

    Like

  185. SFC Ton says:

    Drinking Jack Daniels….. well it’s better then tap water.

    Like

  186. Sumo says:

    Nope. I don’t drink whiskey. It does not agree with me. At. All.

    Whiskey brings out the UberViolent, Super Scary version of The Mighty Sumo.

    Kind of like The Incredible Hulk, only yellow-ish.

    Liked by 1 person

  187. SFC Ton says:

    So it brings out the fun Sump….?

    Liked by 1 person

  188. Cill says:

    Hell we don’t want that.

    Like

  189. Cill says:

    I’ve removed the object, to avoid a scene of rampant destruction.

    Like

  190. Choicy says:

    Gidday Cillo! Struth this post grew since yesterday.

    Gender quotas shag business: https://archive.today/avPKh

    Like

  191. Spawny Get says:

    Gin and Tonic for the win, s’gonna be a good Sunday evening

    Liked by 1 person

  192. Spawny Get says:

    Yeah, the My Little Pony message (I imagine, I haven’t yet weakened) is a great one for kids and the rather peculiar Bronies. Sargon of Akkad covered it last week (in stupid) as I linked.

    Like

  193. Spawny Get says:

    “Damn I never thought I’d click on a my-little-pony link but I just did. What’s the world coming to?”
    Hoof bump, bro

    Liked by 1 person

  194. SFC Ton says:

    lol gin isn’t exactly the White mans drink in this part of the world

    Like

  195. Cill says:

    Hoof bump, cloven.

    Liked by 1 person

  196. Spawny Get says:

    Gin is vodka with a dash of juniper. Does that help?

    If not:

    a) It’s a gentleman thing…’nuff said.
    b) It’s also about making the quinine in the tonic water palatable…one should never gamble with the risk of malaria. Rife in SW England, I tell you, rife..

    Like

  197. Choicy says:

    I followed the pony lnik to check if the critique link at 9:30 am was true. It was true. Hey what a laugh it is, kiddy writers get stuck into the feminists after “real” men took shit for decades.

    I reckon that’s enough from me for a while Cillo and friends. Some serious relaxing is calling for me. Goodbye ’til next time. Live it up!

    Liked by 2 people

  198. Cill says:

    Live it up, Choicy. I’ll be in touch.

    Liked by 1 person

  199. Spawny Get says:

    Thass ashame Ton, real shame me ol mucker, here’s me about to watch a series of Justified too. *hic* mupterdate wi’ GoT, mupterdat’ wi’ t’walkin’ deadersh. praps eye’ll get bak ter Smartacus affer tha’ not finishhhhehd tha yet.

    *singin’* i fcukin’ luv you, yesh eyedo’

    Liked by 2 people

  200. Spawny Get says:

    You an’ me, mate…genst the wurld *hic*

    Liked by 1 person

  201. SFC Ton says:

    I’m pERT certain the popularity of gin in the ungentlemanly circles is in fact based on it being a gentleman’s drink. Attempting to add a layer of faux social standing.

    Me, I just fine with my low birth and social standing

    Liked by 1 person

  202. Spawny Get says:

    Gin wasn’t a posh drink back in the slums of London.

    Gin craze

    Gin was popularised in England following the accession of William of Orange in 1688. Gin provided an alternative to French brandy at a time of both political and religious conflict between Britain and France. Between 1689 and 1697, the Government passed a range of legislation aimed at restricting brandy imports and encouraging gin production. Most importantly, the monopoly of the London Guild of Distillers was broken in 1690, thereby opening up the market in gin distillation. The production and consumption of English gin, which was then popular amongst politicians and even Queen Anne, was encouraged by the government.
    Economic protectionism was a major factor in beginning the Gin Craze; as the price of food dropped and income grew, consumers suddenly had the opportunity to spend excess funds on liquor. By 1721, however, Middlesex magistrates were already decrying gin as “the principal cause of all the vice & debauchery committed among the inferior sort of people”.[2] In 1736, the Middlesex Magistrates complained, “It is with the deepest concern your committee observe the strong Inclination of the inferior Sort of People to these destructive Liquors, and how surprisingly this Infection has spread within these few Years … it is scarce possible for Persons in low Life to go anywhere or to be anywhere, without being drawn in to taste, and, by Degrees, to like and approve of this pernicious Liquor.”[3]

    By 1743, England was drinking 2.2 gallons (10 litres) of gin per person per year. As consumption levels increased, an organised campaign for more effective legislation began to emerge, led by the Bishop of Sodor and Man, Thomas Wilson (who, in 1736, had complained that gin produced a ‘drunken ungovernable set of people’). Prominent anti-gin campaigners included Henry Fielding (whose 1751 ‘Enquiry into the Late Increase in Robbers’ blamed gin consumption for both increased crime and increased ill health among children), Josiah Tucker, Daniel Defoe (who had originally campaigned for the liberalisation of distilling, but later complained that drunken mothers were threatening to produce a ‘fine spindle-shanked generation’ of children), and – briefly – William Hogarth. Hogarth’s engraving Gin Lane is a well known image of the gin craze, and is often paired with “Beer Street”, creating a contrast between the miserable lives of gin drinkers and the healthy and enjoyable lives of beer drinkers.[4]

    Liked by 3 people

  203. Yoda says:

    Still no parody of Yoda there is,

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/356223.php

    Like

  204. Cill says:

    What happened to Spawny? Whence the sudden, unfamiliar onset of lucidity?

    Anyway when I think G&T I think writer’s stool, Raffles bar, Singapore. I perched my unauspicious arse on it once, thinking of the butt cheeks that had graced it before me: Joseph Conrad, R.L. Stevenson, Somerset Maugham, Jack London. Of course I had to drink G&T, not my favorite beverage as I prefer the dry, sharp, even bitter, taste. But I gave it my best shot.

    As I sank the G&Ts I waxed forth on those great authors. I held the floor as they say. I quoted verbatim tracts of “Treasure Island”, “The Moon and Sixpence”, “Heart of Darkness” and “Call of the Wild” that I didn’t know I’d ever read let alone memorized. I was under the spell of a mighty spirit and that’s a fact.

    I fell off the chair in the end and had to be carried out, one man to each of my 4 inert limbs. It was all in good spirit, I’d been drinking the gentleman’s drink after all.

    Liked by 3 people

  205. Poseidon says:

    @ Yoda:

    “Odd this would be,

    http://hotair.com/archives/2015/04/19/so-much-for-wear-a-hijab-to-school-day/

    Maybe soon on the news we will hear the president say he is declaring a wear-a-hijab-to-the-Whitehouse-Day for all employees, including himself.

    Funny this would be…..

    Liked by 2 people

  206. Spawny Get says:

    Oh hells no! Poseidon came down with a severe case of Yodish!

    Liked by 2 people

  207. Yoda says:

    Yodish a disease it is not

    Liked by 2 people

  208. Cill says:

    My favorite comment from Yoda’s hijab link:

    Wow. Maybe Ms. Mindy McCarty hyphen Stewart can issue a “challenge” for female circumcision empathy and set an example by going first. I mean if she really wants to ‘empathize’ with her Muslim peers.

    ghostwalker1 on April 19, 2015 at 1:34 PM

    Liked by 2 people

  209. Poseidon says:

    Better, she and her feminist ilk circumcise their tongues.

    Anybody read the book, The World According to Garp? That extremely funny story pokes fun at feminists and has a contingent of angry young women cutting out their tongues for the purpose of being in fellowship with a girl that was a victim of assault.

    This book I highly recommend!

    Liked by 2 people

  210. Liz says:

    After reading that awful Gin Craze link, I actually feel like having gin!

    Is that wrong? 😛

    Liked by 3 people

  211. Spawny Get says:

    Not read the book, watched the film though. Not bad at all. Helen Jamesians???

    Like

  212. Cill says:

    Don’t let me stop you, Liz

    Liked by 1 person

  213. Cill says:

    FWIW my tool for keeping track of times and places:

    http://24timezones.com/

    Hover mouse over the yellow dots. The shaded area is current nighttime, so right now (8:13 a.m. Monday 20th Apr NZ Time) I have dawn and Bangkok is the middle of the night.

    Like

  214. Spawny Get says:

    Earlier form of SJW rape inquiry

    Like

  215. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Cill,
    I am sorry yo be getting back to you so late on the “Toblerone” question. It’s premium Swiss chocolate. I have a theory about women and premium chocolate. They are very quick to acquire it but you never see them eat it. Hmmmmm….I think that they are passing it along to elves who render them assistance.

    Liked by 2 people

  216. Spawny Get says:

    The full episode

    Like

  217. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Yoda at 3:337pm,
    That college aged feminists are doing this to Christina Hoff Summers shows that they are brcoming radicalized enough to “eat their own”.
    Further down, the post refers to the the Assoc. of Writing and Writing Programs and the woman holding up the placard saying “Let us abolish you”. The “you” being straight white males.
    I think that it is wll past time for the Southrn Poverty Law Center to declae feminism a hate movement.

    Liked by 1 person

  218. Poseidon says:

    @ Spawny:

    I believe Ellen Jamsians

    Liked by 1 person

  219. theasdgamer says:

    After reading that awful Gin Craze link, I actually feel like having gin!

    Is that wrong? 😛

    Only if you do it alone. Cheers!

    Like

  220. theasdgamer says:

    a woman gave me the finger last night for guessing her age as 17 years too old…lol…I guessed 45, then 55, then 35…she’s 38…heh

    Like

  221. theasdgamer says:

    We hung out a bit in a group; she danced with me after that, then came over to hang out with a buddy and me at the bar. I gave her crap about her phone call being a booty call. She denied it, lol.

    Like

  222. theasdgamer says:

    Does anybody else like dirty martinis?

    Like

  223. SFC Ton says:

    That was my understanding as well Spwany; brandy is also high the list for that demographic group and for the same reason

    2.2 gallons a year? That sounds more like a week’s worth then a year

    Like

  224. SFC Ton says:

    That was my understanding as well Spwany; brandy is also high the list for that demographic group and for the same reason

    2.2 gallons a year? That sounds more like a week’s worth then a year

    Liked by 2 people

  225. Spawny Get says:

    Don’t know about week, but it damn well isn’t a year’s worth

    Liked by 1 person

  226. Cill says:

    “By 1743, England was drinking 2.2 gallons (10 litres) of gin per person per year.”

    Man Woman and child? It’s still not a helluva lot. Say 20 litres per adult. Approx 150 ml (half a cup) pure alcohol per week. About 1.5 bottles of wine per week at 13% alcohol.

    Like

  227. Spawny Get says:

    A French guy passed on the advice given to an uncle of his by his doctor
    “A bottle of red per day, a bit more at the weekends”

    Wassat? 75 units a week?

    Cheers

    Like

  228. theasdgamer says:

    Something kinda cool happened to me last Friday. Two blondes I just met and danced with wanted a selfie with me in between them.

    Like

  229. Cill says:

    I comfort myself with this comment from “Bottle of wine a day ‘is not bad for you’: Leading scientist also claims those who exceed recommended dose could live longer than teetotallers” http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2608193/Bottle-wine-day-not-bad-Leading-scientist-claim-exceed-recommended-does-live-longer-teetotallers.html :

    “The fact is that we all process alcohol differently and some people can tolerate much higher levels than others without damage.”

    And I’m one of them high tolerance types. Yes I am. Of course I am. By crikey I can I hold my piss. Definitely, definitely so. No sense in second guessing myself. I can simply handle my piss.

    Like

  230. Cill says:

    Horizontal or vertical, asd?

    Liked by 1 person

  231. Cill says:

    (Piss means grog Down Under)

    Like

  232. Farm Boy says:

    I wonder if Moe drinks…

    Liked by 1 person

  233. Farm Boy says:

    There is a new post

    Like

  234. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    If Moe is living the cave man lifestyle, then no. there is a theory that what got civilization going was being able to brew beer by growing grain, not baking bread as is more commonly thought.
    Currently, Russia accounts for half of worldwide alcohol consumptioon.
    Half of American adults don’t drink. Most of them never started.

    Like

  235. Cill says:

    Fuzzy your comment got held up “Waiting Approval” I don’t know why. I’ve been hard at work and didn’t notice it until now.

    Anyway your comment accords with a comment that Moe started to enter but didn’t finish – possibly because a Moehau Man female with skin smelling like pikelets passed by the mouth of his cave…

    Liked by 1 person

  236. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Cill,
    I entered the wrong email address. That’s why it went into moderation. Thank ou.

    I have to hand it to Moe. A female smelling of pikelets is a far higher priority. 😉

    Like

  237. Moehau Man says:

    Yes well, Moehau Mans can’t hold their liquor. The Moehau Man elders met to discuss ways of keeping the grog out of the rugged Coromandel. Mrs Moehau Man (my civic-minded old mum) suggested at one meeting that there should be prizes for total abstinence. Privacy areas should be set aside so the winners can get together to enjoy their prizes of pikelets for the females and oblong rocks for the males.

    Initially the prizes were awarded monthly. Then, buckling to public demand, the elders had no option but to hold fortnightly, then weekly, and now daily abstinence competitions at which every Moehau Man, male or female, is always a winner. I’m proud to say, not a drop of alcohol has passed a Moehau Man’s lips.

    Mrs Moehau Man (my incorruptible old mum) has a special dispensation to sell her wildly popular pikelets in the privacy areas for the winners.

    Liked by 1 person

  238. The laughing is bringing good luck, indeed ! Last sale of the day, $617! To someone who owns a local biz that sells what i make and going to carry my brand! Yay! (Still no Toblerone, drat!)

    Liked by 2 people

  239. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Hooray for Bloom! Feed the Bloomettes their favorite and everybody watch a movie with lots of horses.

    Liked by 1 person

  240. Poseidon says:

    @ RPC:

    Congrats! Money acquisition is a cool thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  241. Poseidon money acquisition is not a big motivator for me, beyond paying my bills. But it was a good weekend, I’ll take it! Lots of really nice people stopped in this weekend too, word is getting out! Yay.

    Like

  242. Cill says:

    Ah ain’t it cool to relate across the world’s widest ocean to people who – who knows – might hold me to be as ethereal as they are to me. Faith in the concrete is a powerful thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  243. And usually sales are $25-50 per group, for comparison.

    Like

  244. And the night air is filled with the aroma of lilacs! One of my favorite flowers, next to roses, which will be blooming next month. (Probably the wrong crowd to talk flowers with, but lilacs truly smell devine if you have never noticed them.) Gnite!

    Liked by 1 person

  245. Cill says:

    Quite so. That is concrete.

    Liked by 1 person

  246. Cill says:

    Good night sweet Bloom.

    Liked by 1 person

  247. Also, I would have missed the $617 sale were it not for my other adopted mom! ( also never had kids) she helps me for free every other weekend, as well as another business like mine. This guy came to that other biz and bought, so she told them about me. She luckily was here today. When he said he’d like to carry my product, I assumed he meant “someday.” Then she urged me to “close the deal” and we did. I am not a salesperson, obviously. Luckily I have my angels looking out for me!

    Like

  248. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Good night, Bloom.

    Liked by 1 person

  249. Cill says:

    I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
    Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,
    Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,
    With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine:
    There sleeps Titania sometime of the night,
    Lull’d in these flowers with dances and delight.

    Liked by 1 person

  250. Cill says:

    “Luckily I have my angels looking out for me!”

    Be Bloom. You are the captain of your ship. You are the master of your soul.

    Liked by 1 person

  251. My adopted mom/grandma was also there, and then the clucked about “what are we going to do w her” together. I almost got years in my eyes, thank goodness for them!

    Like

  252. *tears

    And in some weird way I have these two ladies “mothering” me thanks in part to feminism telling them at the time being child free was freedom. The world works in mysterious ways! (I think they like clucking over me)

    Like

  253. P.s. tarn please don’t take that as criticism of your choices, btw. You have mentioned you support others w children. That is such a blessing to someone w children, trust me!

    Liked by 1 person

  254. And to Cill and others here too who aren’t dads but mentor young men. You are an unfold blessing to them as well! 🙂

    Like

  255. And all of you are f’ing awesome! Btw. (Blows kisses)

    Gnite!

    Liked by 1 person

  256. Cill says:

    Cool Bloom. Bloom, cool.
    Cool
    Bloom

    Come on Bloom you’re good. You know that. You don’t need me to tell you that. You don’t need me to tel you a damn thing.

    You only listen to Mrs Moehau Man (my agony aunt old mum). Be Bloom.

    Liked by 1 person

  257. Cill says:

    Chopin Etudes Opus 25 No.11 in A flat major, allegro sostenuto
    The ultimate is played by Alexander Uninsky.

    I have Gezo Anda playing it. Where can I buy Alexander Uninsky?

    Liked by 1 person

  258. Spawny Get says:

    “Where can I buy Alexander Uninsky?”

    Bro, I don’t think he’s that kind of guy.

    Liked by 1 person

  259. theasdgamer says:

    Bloom, you remind me so much of my mother–very susceptible to love bombs, flattery, etc. I could never do those to her, but my brother sure did. I told my mother of my love practically. I took care of my mother the last year that she was alive; Mrs. Gamer and the kids helped as well. Mom finally figured it out at the end.

    I’m fond of lilac bushes, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  260. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    I realized that we all mised the point of this post. The fembots would love to see all men brought as low in life as the swagman.

    Liked by 2 people

  261. Liz says:

    That’s true, Fuzzie!
    I was too preoccupied looking for the porn to notice the metaphor…

    Much like a barracuda with a shiny object. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  262. theasdgamer says:

    @ RPG

    But before I watch this porn video, will it give me computer viruses?

    I heard that it can give you bugs in your computer program parts. That’s why you should always put toilet paper over your keyboard before you use it to dump logs over the internet.

    Like

  263. theasdgamer says:

    Much like a barracuda with a shiny object.

    jf13, paging jf13. What’s your opinion about men using dangling objects around their “package” wnen going swimming?

    Like

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