Deti regularly states that attraction is not negotiable. There is plenty evidence to support this notion here in the modern world. But is it the entire story? I think not.
In today’s world, women are bombarded with implicit and explicit messages pointing them toward the importance of tingles. Explicitly in seemingly every movie, television show, and magazine that emphasizes men’s “sexiness”. Implicitly in the fact that the same media outlets depict little else of value or virtue in men. Furthermore, many modern women suffer from an ancient disease — hubris. So women are taught that they want tingles and deserve tingles, and that the world should provide. And tingles only come from attractive sexy men.
But is/was this always the case? I think not. There once was a time when women (and men also) were raised with humility. When one is truly humble, then one is appreciative of the good things that come your way. A humble woman can appreciative that she can attract a man, and that a man can like her. She can appreciate the myriad of good, but perhaps not great attributes that he has. And if she does this, then many men can be attractive.
This can happen. I have seen it many times. The most prominent case in my life was my Mom.