Red Pill Classroom — Alpha Fux / Beta Bux


This is a common life path trajectory for women.  There are several variations.  It is all really very simple.  And as such, this post will not be long.

In type one, a women sexes up with alphas, gets knocked up, and has a baby or two,   Since the alpha in most cases is not willing to marry her, or does not have the money to marry her, she needs to find a man who will provide her with resources.  This would be the beta.  Typically she acts all lovey-dovey until she gets the ring, and after that all bets are off.  This type is often younger than the other type, as they need to find the beta provider sooner, rather than later

In type two, a woman rides the carousel for many years.   Perhaps as Dalrock suggests, “She waits such that she leaves as little youth and beauty to her future husband as possible”.  And once again, as the alpha has not bitten with respect to marriage, so she finds a beta-provider type to give her children and resources.

Perhaps the provider does not know what was going on, perhaps he does not want to know what is going on, and perhaps it may work out all just fine.  But there is a high likelihood that the demons that are suppressed by such an arrangement will come forth eventually.  And all, including the children will suffer.

P.S.

NAWALT applies

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Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, Hypergamy, Marriage, RedPillClassroom
209 comments on “Red Pill Classroom — Alpha Fux / Beta Bux
  1. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    While I can’t remember where, I think that I got into a bit of an arguement over AF?BB. My contention was that any tactic dependent on deception would no longer be viable once revealed. It is getting to be fairly common knowledge now and, I think the betas and their bux are going to back off.

    Like

  2. Farm Boy says:

    any tactic dependent on deception would no longer be viable once revealed

    But there is the thirst; furthermore she is special, so stuff does not apply to her.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    Because some trick worked in the past, does not mean that it will always work. Men are learning and talking to each other. Then, there is first and second hand observation by those that are younger.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Farm Boy says:

    Fuzzie Bear,

    It is just a question of how well it is spreading. There are lots of forces working for it and lots of forces working against it. Kind of an irresistible force meeting an immovable object.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    The part that gets to me is the gal choosing to ejoy riding the carousel until the last minute, thaen taking advantage of the a beta’s good will. While she had lots of fun, he sat on the shelf. That frosts my pumpkin.

    Like

  6. Farm Boy says:

    he sat on the shelf.

    And it was a very hard shelf to sit on. And the women don’t care.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Farm Boy says:

    Well Fuzzie Bear,

    You might be right. Men are catching on,

    http://pjmedia.com/lifestyle/2015/03/23/men-who-dont-pay/

    Liked by 1 person

  8. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    That is not what I meant. However, Dalrock has addressed this too. As courtship gets extended into infinity, men do get tired of picking up the tab. Then, there is the story that comes out of New York every other year, how a woman goes online dating for free meals.
    I don’t think that any guy minds paying. I think most guys don’t like getting played for chumps.

    Like

  9. I think there is more to it than this, as Cill’s pal found in his ppp experiment, I am not so sure these are concious, willing choices as much as they seem to be what’s being sold. Who benifits? The alphas. Not the women who get p and d. Not that they didnt place their bet and lose but… It’s messed up all around.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Don’t get me wrong, the way to win is to not play. Agreed. and yet Thegame starts way too young. I will teach my daughters this. Stay home. Make cookies. Wait. Sit out the game…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. P.s. I jokingly told my oldest about my plan to build a tower to lock her and sister in until they are godown. Wrapped in dragons. She liked the idea but questioned the dragon part. Nobody seems to be with me on the dragons… (Humph!)

    Like

  12. theasdgamer says:

    @ RPG

    Who benifits? The alphas. Not the women who get p and d.

    As Rollo opines, “Five minutes of alpha is better than 20 years of beta.” Women only whine about getting dumped because they couldn’t get alpha commitment. They don’t regret the sex at all. I know my fling sure didn’t and my college gf wanted sex from me sans commitment because she wanted to marry a doctor and I bailed on becoming a doctor. Women are hot for sex with alphas. Not buying the Feminine Imperative propaganda that women are the victims of alphas.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. @gamer that’s true, I saw many a gal grow herself willingly into the fray. I dunno… It’s all just so sad.

    Like

  14. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    Dragons eat virgins. Bears eat honey.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    Dalrock wrote a post on your earlier link.
    https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2015/03/23/ms-chivalry/

    Like

  16. Sumo says:

    Sumo does something else with the honies.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Cill says:

    Excuse me while I curse this guy the sky

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Sumo says:

    Hey, I’ve already been cursed…..with charm, badassiness, and stunning good looks. Do your worst, brother. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Cill says:

    Cricket World Cup Semi Final down to the wire. Live action S. Africa should scrape in.

    Like

  20. Cill says:

    NZ win!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Yoda says:

    Another scenario there is.
    Woman has babies via alpha.
    Goes on welfare she does
    Betas pay taxes they do

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Yoda says:

    As courtship gets extended into infinity, men do get tired of picking up the tab.

    But fun for women this is.
    Women like fun they do.
    Not so serious they are.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Cill says:

    “Torn are the wives of righteous men, for they beget the taxpayers of tomorrow.”
    Tired of repetition I am.

    Like

  24. Yoda says:

    Bears eat honey.

    This time of year they do not.
    But dream of honey they do.

    Like

  25. jf13 says:

    @redpillgirl, re: “Who benifits? The alphas.”

    Yes. The alphas benefit most from being chosen by the women. But the women MUST be benefitting from being able to choose alphas; hence what ticks women off is that the selection of alphas isn’t numerous enough and isn’t good enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. jf13 says:

    @tasdg re: “Not buying the Feminine Imperative propaganda that women are the victims of [their own choices].”

    Me neither. I have zero sympathy for the typical young woman’s lament that “the guys that I keep choosing to have sex with aren’t good for me”. As I’ve said before, my main concern is getting these women to that they *failed* to choose the right guys. It has nothing to do with the wrong guys failing to be the right guys.

    Like

  27. Yoda says:

    But “right guys” produce tingles not.
    Tingles Uber Alles

    Like

  28. jf13 says:

    getting these women to see that
    or
    getting these women to admit that

    A few years ago I was making this same point, among others, to an audience of several women (and men, but the women were the only ones with interesting responses), and one woman suggested that one reason a girl might tell a guy about other guys treating her bad was to let that guy know he might have a chance if he treated her right. IOW, the woman was claiming that a girl’s crying on her ljbf’s shoulder might be a girl pickup technique.

    Naturally all the other women agreed when the first woman suggested it. I, however, said it always felt to me as a man, as a boy, as a male, as a dude, that any girl’s crying to me about her men was treating me as a woman. Moreover, agreeing and amplifying, I asked if they thought I should take it as flirting the next time *they* talked to me about their man troubles. Of course, they immediately saw their folly but for some reason did not direct their righteous anger inwards.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. jf13 says:

    When a woman undergoes choice paralysis in front of a giant Super Sam wall of shelves filled with hundreds of varieties of peanut butter and winds up at home making faces at her choice, the problem is never that the one that she chose failed to be the one that she should have chosen. The problem is always, always, always that she failed to choose the oneould have chosen.

    Like

  30. jf13 says:

    re: men on shelves

    The thoughts converging they are. Women are lamenting that the good choices that they left on the shelves earlier aren’t remaining on the shelves long enough any more.

    Like

  31. jf13 says:

    Three links away (dalrock, Mychael, golddigger) Women continue to delude themselves that they are *worth* alpha bux and that *therefore* “f- first bux later” is a reasonable strategy.

    “Feel free to push that bill right over to him because, guess what? You’ve already done it. He can at least pay for dinner.”
    http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/why-you-should-always-have-sex-on-a-first-date/

    Like

  32. jf13 says:

    It’s not true that only women misunderstand everything.
    http://elitedaily.com/dating/10-qualities-every-alpha-male-look-girlfriend/974493/

    Like

  33. Yoda says:

    The thoughts converging they are.

    Jedi Mind Tricks use on you I do.

    Like

  34. Yoda says:

    the good choices that they left on the shelves earlier aren’t remaining on the shelves lonG enough

    Like wholesome milk, sour they do become.

    Like

  35. Yoda says:

    AF/BB consider morality women do?
    Or oblivious they are?

    Like

  36. Yoda says:

    True this is

    Likewise, to break down distinct gender roles which have served civilization well for millennia, feminists encourage men and women to base relationships around a peculiar selfishness glamoured by equality. True love—giving yourself for the sake of another—is considered perverse, while living for yourself no matter what it does to your family is considered a virtue.

    To provide a relief valve for the predictable unhappiness that follows, feminists sought no-fault divorce laws. These allow any spouse (and through the biased family court system especially encourages wives) to walk out on marriage and family for any reason at all. Feminism also walked hand in hand with the sexual revolution, which chanted equality in order to veil the moral distinctions between the chaste and the unchaste. The obvious result is that our society has refused to teach the virtue of chastity lest the slut feel ashamed. As a result, we force our children to wander an increasingly harmful sexual anarchy without guidance

    Liked by 1 person

  37. theasdgamer says:

    @ jf13

    The alphas benefit most from being chosen by the women.

    I disagree. The alphas are the most desirable for most women that they sex up. With the tilted sexual marketplace where men are devalued by 1 or 2 points relative to women, then a small percentage of women (9s and 10s) don’t benefit as much as alphas.

    Like

  38. theasdgamer says:

    @ jf13

    @tasdg re: “Not buying the Feminine Imperative propaganda that women are the victims of [their own choices] alphas.”

    Me neither. I have zero sympathy for the typical young woman’s lament that “the guys that I keep choosing to have sex with aren’t good for me”.

    Fixed your misquote of what I actually said. “guys…that aren’t good for me” translates to “alphas whom I sex up that won’t commit.”

    Like

  39. theasdgamer says:

    @ Yoda

    But “right guys” produce tingles not.
    Tingles Uber Alles

    But “right guys” used to produce tingles before the SMV of men relative to women was tilted because men got a tremendous status hit. The FI attacked men through culture.

    Like

  40. jf13 says:

    re: “But “right guys” used to produce tingles”

    I used to think so, but now I’m pretty sure not so. It’s always been the case that betas can sexually please a woman; indeed I define betas as those males who *have* to please females. But being sexually pleased by a man is almost the opposite of getting tingles, I say from deep within my lack of experience of having been a woman. When getting tingles, the female is absorbed in what she can do to please the male in order to get him to be in her.

    Like

  41. theasdgamer says:

    @ jf13

    Men used to own the resources and women couldn’t get them thru frivorce. Hence, women had to please the “right guys.” The “right guys” had status relative to women.

    Like

  42. jf13 says:

    re: “Hence, women had to please the “right guys.” The “right guys” had status relative to women.”

    Ok. I agree if a woman is externally kept being made to feel like she really really has to sexually please a beta, then she will internally come to feel tingles directed at him.

    Like

  43. theasdgamer says:

    @ jf13

    And, of course, the naturals used to generate tingles without providing res. So, hypergamy was still an issue. With the higher standard of living, I wonder if the desire for more things like piano and ballet lessons for kids doesn’t also feed hypergamy so that women will tend to branch swing to a higher beta branch. Saw a movie yesterday along these lines. Starred Joan Crawford.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mildred_Pierce

    Like

  44. jf13 says:

    Keeping in my interpretation of the female role to be the party of “No!”, which is the de-selection aspect of chase-away sexual selection, the female’s actual role is NOT to select alphas but to de-select betas. From that alone, I think, it follows that women would most highly fight against feeling forced to to *have* to do anything pleasing for betas. And from *that*, essentially all female behavior follows.

    Like

  45. thedeti says:

    Over the long arc of some women’s lives, it isn’t just Alpha fux/beta bux.

    It’s alpha fux/beta bux/then back to alpha fux. Buena Vista is the first one who pointed this out to me.

    AF from age 17 to 28
    BB from marriage until the last kid is more or less independent (mid-40s)
    AF from age 45 on

    When a woman’s last kid is well on in school (about age 8), then her AF seems to awaken. She has more time on her hands. She doesn’t have to spend a lot of time with hands on motherhood. Her friends are all busy with other things. She is dealing head on with her marital disappointments. She is bored. Her husband has let himself go or is consumed with work or other things. She is losing or has lost attraction for her husband.

    Like

  46. Yoda says:

    But attract alpha she can?

    Like

  47. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Deti,
    As much as it grieves my idealistic heart, I have to agreee.

    Yoda,
    Women 45+ redefine alpha. However, should they choose to go down this road, they had better be good looking. There is a lot more variance in looks at that age than earlier but, they had best be at the top.

    Like

  48. theasdgamer says:

    @ jf13

    I agree that women have a selective role in mating. However, I think that the current environment is anomalous. If men had their biologically accurate status not artificially held down by frivorce and apex alpha provider laws, I think that women would find betas plenty attractive. Not as attractive as alphas, but enough so that they don’t start looking outside the home.

    Like

  49. theasdgamer says:

    @ deti

    For many women, AF reawakens 7 years after marriage. Kids are irrelevant. Divorce is frequent.

    Like

  50. theasdgamer says:

    @ Fuzzie

    I see quite a few attractive divorcees in their early 40s. Was dancing and flirting with one last Sat. She had her high school daughter in tow. P

    Like

  51. Spawny Get says:

    Check out who made the front page of Breitbat London

    Liked by 1 person

  52. Yoda says:

    AF from age 45 on

    The “cougar” phase of AF/BB this would be.

    Like

  53. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    “Check out who made the front page of Breitbat London”

    Gah! Put a trigger warning on that thing!

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Yoda says:

    Not Ardrea Dworkin she is.
    A relief this would be

    Like

  55. Spawny Get says:

    Pat Condell, a guy who says what he thinks

    Like

  56. Spawny Get says:

    In honour of Big Red’s hitting the big time

    Liked by 1 person

  57. jf13 says:

    re: “from age 45 on”

    From age 45 on to what? In my experience essentially 0% of the already low sex drive of post-menopausal women is devoted to chasing men, like needs to be done for alphas. If anything, I think the older the woman the more likely she is to want, when she wants anything, to be passively pleased by a man rather than to please a man.

    Like

  58. Spawny Get says:

    oh yeah…trigger warning on that Breitbart thing…

    Liked by 1 person

  59. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    We really have to hand it to Big Red. She made more a splash in her one public appearance than a lot of fembots have done in a whole career.

    Like

  60. thedeti says:

    Master Yoda:

    “But attract alpha she can?”

    I think it’s her ability to attract ANY man that’s relevant here. I suspect there’s a lot of variety here. I suspect there are some cougars who prowl for young good looking men with titanium rods for hardons. (I’ve seen more than a few young men cut their sexual teeth on older women.) I think there are some older women looking for alpha fux who are in truth looking for a man who treats them well and wines and dines them (that’s mostly women who are having affairs and/or in sexless marriages).

    It’s a real myth that a woman has no sexual market value once she gets past age 40; that The Wall completely destroys every woman’s SMV. If she’s spent her 20s and 30s taking care of herself, a woman can look quite good well into her 40s. And there are a good number of women who look quite good after 40.

    (Note to Farm Boy — a Red Pill Classroom post on The Wall would be good if you haven’t done one already.)

    Liked by 1 person

  61. thedeti says:

    Women who are past 40 who are going into their second AF phase are looking to recapture lost youth. They are looking to confirm their worth and value as women. They want to be able to look in the mirror and say

    “I’ve still got it”

    “I can still attract a man and get him to invest in me”

    “I can still get a guy to fuck me silly”

    “I am still beautiful and feminine and worthy of a man’s attention”

    That’s really what the second AF phase is about.

    Liked by 1 person

  62. Yoda says:

    Validation women value they do.

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Cill says:

    “Check out who made the front page of Breitbat London”
    Down Fido! Down! 😐

    Liked by 1 person

  64. Cill says:

    Forgive me, but I just can’t help myself:

    Like

  65. Spawny Get says:

    “Not Ardrea Dworkin she is.”

    Big Red isn’t half the woman Dworkers was, but she’s young yet, she’s got time, a big mouth and the constitution body of an ox.

    Liked by 1 person

  66. Yoda says:

    Unapealling she appears.
    Unpleasant expressions she does have.

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Spawny Get says:

    Cill, I can’t possibly hit ‘like’ on that

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Cill says:

    Andrea Dworkin, “Head like a chewed mintie” (said my Aussie mate Choicy)

    Now Fuzzy, try not to overreact 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Cill says:

    Okay Spawny, click Like on that

    Like

  70. Cill says:

    “Unpleasant expressions she does have.”
    Yoda I think you’re being provocatively rude to BR, so I can’t possibly hit ‘like’ on that.
    (I carry a secret candle for her, you know, she keeps burning her own)

    Like

  71. jf13 says:

    re: second phase AF

    The poster child, er, old lady for this phenom must be Robin Rinaldi. At 45-ish she decided to see how many men would like free, er, F. Somehow it took her a whole year to get 12, and only one or two were alpha-ish. Meanwhile her husband Scott left her for a much younger and much much nicer woman whom he has since remarried, while for five long years Robin has been shacked up with the beta who pleased her the bestest.
    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/03/23/bedding-12-strangers-in-a-year-not-surprisingly-ends-18-year-marriage/

    So how come her unhappy ending wasn’t trumpeted when they were advertising Wild Oats a few weeks ago?

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Spawny Get says:

    Keep that candle away from her. If it triggers Spontaneous Human Combustion? I foresee magma flaming blubber flows to shame Mauna Loa / Herculaneum

    Liked by 1 person

  73. @ Deti I have seen a similar thing, empty nest women getting a divorce. Bad strategy. Really bad. Talk about destabilizing your golden years. I know single women in their 60s, alone, struggling, it is not pretty. Think of more than today they should! (How’s that Yoda?)

    Like

  74. Yoda says:

    Andrea with a Big Red’s Hair.
    Funny that would be.

    Liked by 1 person

  75. Yoda says:

    (How’s that Yoda?)

    All comments should be in Yodish.

    Like

  76. Yoda says:

    Break crankshaft like it would be.

    Liked by 1 person

  77. Cill says:

    When I’m feeling down, I play “Shut The Fuck Up”. It gives me a furtive discarnate thrill.

    Like

  78. Cill says:

    “Andrea with a Big Red’s Hair.
    Funny that would be.”

    Big Red with Andrea’s hair
    Too funny that would be

    Like

  79. Cill says:

    Spawny do his artwork upon Big Red he should

    Like

  80. Spawny Get says:

    http://www.breitbart.com/london/2015/03/24/the-real-everyday-sexism-is-against-men/

    The femeroids at the moment remind me of that scene in Zoolander where the morons were having a gasoline fight.

    Like

  81. Spawny Get says:

    Cill, if I get a minute…

    Like

  82. jf13 says:

    Although not quite of that certain age yet, Jenny Erikson literally thought she would be having lots of alpha, er, dates, after once succumbing to the drunken charms of one while she was married. She found out the hard way that every single one of the many datable men she was introduced to *after* her divorce weren’t good enough for her. She has since justified her complete withdrawal from the SMP more than a year ago as looking out for Thing 1 and Thing 2, i.e. so they wouldn’t think mommy was a slut, but the truth is she could not attract any good enough men. At all. Not even one. Not even part of one.

    In contrast, grapevine caveats, Leif carefully emerged from his gloom, first hooking up with an old girlfriend and then about a year ago supposedly, coincidentally with Jenny’s giving up, meeting a younger woman who is much much nicer.

    Liked by 2 people

  83. jf13 says:

    Cathy Sparks was right on the Phase II AF timeline. Has anyone heard *any* further updates on why exactly she signed a post-nup and is living rather penitently?

    Like

  84. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Andrea Dworkin defense.

    Like

  85. Spawny Get says:

    Fuzzie, maybe after the mindbleach…you just can’t take chances

    Like

  86. Commenting in Yodish greatly cut down Blooms comment length, it would. Perhaps not bad this would be? Huuuuuummmmmm?

    Like

  87. Bloom not know much except much she does not know. Listen for 800 years then speak perhaps she should? (A test proving her inner will beyond Jedi strength, or more likely not, this would be.)

    Like

  88. Mowed one third of her place she just did, scuffle hoe’d one fifth of the flower beds for tender weeds just sprouting she did. Repeat daily she will. Talking she will not while sowing and reaping. Planning she will be.

    Liked by 1 person

  89. Yoda says:

    Spawny ban you he might.
    Best leave Yodish to Yoda one should.

    Liked by 2 people

  90. Cill says:

    Bloom Yodish hilarious it is
    Learn it Yoda should

    Liked by 1 person

  91. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    While Bloom applies herself to things requiring a green thumb they do, much preparation to thoughts requiring sall green homonid syntax will apply.

    Liked by 1 person

  92. theasdgamer says:

    Cill, imagine if you saw BR prancing nekkid on yer beach. What fun u cud haf!

    Liked by 1 person

  93. SFC Ton says:

    People at under a serious misunderstanding
    Alphas don’t need the current dysfunction of the smp/ mmp to bang a lot of chicks. Better suited to exploit the dysfunction? Certainly but it is simply false to assume the old system kept alphas from having a lot of chicks. It kept them and the chicks to a degree of discretion.

    Feminism is really for betas who thought they’d get more ass and who didn’t want to do the hard work of keeping feral women civilized. But I get the misunderstanding. Half the man o sphere seem to be stupid enough to damn near worship alphas…. the other half denies the existence of alpha males or tries to run them into the ground. Either way because it helps them feel good.

    I read that article about 10 traits an alpha male should seek out…. not written by an alpha male….maybe not even written by a male.

    Like

  94. SFC Ton says:

    New post of mine

    I’ll work on that one about testosterone soon

    https://tonsplace.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/synonyms-and-being-a-bad-boy/

    Liked by 2 people

  95. Spawny Get says:

    Looking forward to the T one.

    Like

  96. Cill says:

    asd “Cill, imagine if you saw BR prancing nekkid on yer beach. What fun u cud haf!”
    I could jump out on her as the Moehau Man (NZ big foot).

    Get this: A total stranger once gave me a description of a critter who could only have been myself! He told me about a big hairy wild man who runs around naked on a “deserted beach” in the general vicinity of my place.

    Since there’s no-one else for miles around, he could only have been talking about me. Obviously somebody had seen me from a boat some time before, and the story had spread. The wild man was “hung like a horse” – that’s the part that most amused me. Fair tickled me pink, it did. He had no idea he was talking to the man he was describing.

    I had some amusing incidents as the Wild Man, who was an Alpha of sorts, in that the ladies sure wanted to meet him. Or should I say some ladies…

    It taught me something about women… Or should I say some women.

    Liked by 1 person

  97. Cill says:

    I should add, some of the description of the Wild Man was wildly exaggerated.

    Liked by 1 person

  98. Farm Boy says:

    So how did Moe make out during the typhoon?

    Liked by 1 person

  99. Farm Boy says:

    Could Moe tame Big Red?

    Liked by 1 person

  100. Fuzzie out of focus photos of no man would sell for lots of money, satellite photo access bloom does need?

    Liked by 1 person

  101. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    I am a little jealous. Why would you want out of focus images of a wild man from NZ when you could have this?

    Liked by 1 person

  102. Moehau Man says:

    Yes well, young Miss Bloom, you’re welcome to use my fuzzy avatar photo to scare people out of their pants. Mrs Moehau Man (my a-photogenic old mum) says I have a face that only a mother could love.

    Liked by 2 people

  103. Earlier today I was thinking of offering $10,000 to the person who could successfully introduce me to someone as interested in me as I in them, a life mate. But then I thought better leave that up to God. Money only clouds the situation. I am here, hopefully someone for me is there, and we will find one another. That is my greatest hope. But as I just learned, can’t be hasty…

    Like

  104. In the meantime, kids to nurture, grass to mow, weeds to thwart, a biz to grow, a full and busy life. I am blessed. Not sure why I am focusing on what I don’t have instead of what I do… Woman’s nature, as above, I guess!

    Like

  105. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    You are lovable. Now, stop worrying about it.

    Liked by 3 people

  106. Moehau Man says:

    Yeah, you’d like the company of a good bloke. I realize you won’t likely find one among the MGTOW crowd, but I’m somewhat surprised that a blue piller hasn’t snapped you up. Those foreign jokers are a mystery to me.

    Hang on, a thought just struck me. D’you reckon you might’ve been attracted to the wrong sort of bloke?

    Liked by 1 person

  107. In the meantime, while the man upstairs works his thing, I say we sell blurry pics of Mo man. What better do we have to do? 😉 mo man… Let’s us know when you are in position…

    Like

  108. And actually that gal that makes fuzzie shudder, she may pass for a yeti with a little photoshop blur, no???

    Like

  109. Farm Boy says:

    the truth is she could not attract any good enough men. At all. Not even one. Not even part of one.

    Do you have a link for that?

    Like

  110. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    That Andrea Dworkin could pass for a Yeti is truly abominable.

    Liked by 1 person

  111. Moehau Man says:

    Yes indeed, young Miss Bloom. Could you let me know when to go outside? Should I lie on me back? Mrs Moehau Man (my cosmologically savvy old mum) says a satellite picture of me standing up in only going to show the top of me pate.

    Liked by 1 person

  112. Mo man I like your attitude. We will have to research this sale trite photo op timing more. Stay tuned!

    Like

  113. @ fuzzie yes perhaps that was not fair to yeti’s to say that about ms. D. My apogies to yetis of all names the world over!

    Liked by 1 person

  114. I truly appreciate ya’ll tolerating my yammering’s btw. Much appreciated!

    Like

  115. Moehau Man says:

    Apology accepted, young lady, and Mrs Moehau Man (my gracious old mum) accepts it as well. Me Kauri club will stay behind me back… for now.

    Liked by 1 person

  116. theasdgamer says:

    Mark a milestone. A broad pinged my package. Dirty dancing with her. A blonde heifer. 32 yo. Tried to set me up with her mama. I told her Rollo’s maxim, “You can’t negotiate desire.”

    Like

  117. jf13 says:

    @redpillgirl, re: weeds to thwart

    A blessed people we are.

    Like

  118. Yoda says:

    Good to see Moe, it is.

    Liked by 1 person

  119. jf13 says:

    re: a satellite picture of me standing up in only going to show the top of me pate

    The capability of oblique facial recognition is one of those things not entirely discussable. The major issue, of course, is the actual extent of image degradation due to greater atmospheric distance.

    Like

  120. After over a week of no contact, the ex sent me an e-mail wanting to talk about us being friends this Sunday and to pick up the rest of his stuff. When I asked what specifically, he wants to pick up the ring and also the washer dryer set he got me for Christmas/my birthday. (After he put my set out on the curb for free!) What a guy! Grrrrrr.

    Like

  121. Moehau Man says:

    Yes well, his prying on your phone records, although serious, was just one symptom of the jealousy issues he won’t own. It’s those jealousy issues that ring loud warning bells. The green monster can only get monstrously bigger unless the jealous man himself urgently seeks to be cured.

    Mrs Moehau Man (my experienced old mum) agrees. “Even if he now agrees to treatment”, she said, “his desire to be cured fell short of him being the one who first raised the issue. Let young Bloom”, she continued after taking a sip of her Manuka tea, “not be tempted into closeness while the experiment proceeds. Let her not put herself at risk”.

    Be polite. It’s best a reliable third party take the property he requests to a neutral place. Stay away from a middle aged, hyper-jealous man. Time for Head, not Heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  122. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    I can see coming back for the ring but, the washer/dryer? That’s over the top.
    I am sorry this stuff keeps coming up for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  123. Thanks Fuzzie, I actually suspected this was coming about the washer/dryer. (He bought them on credit, I picked out a nice set on sale, he went back the next day and choose different ones three times the price.) It only confirms that I am so glad I did not marry him. I see no advantage in our keeping in touch and being friends now that I am clued into his disorder. This type apparently gets their jollies from “punishing” and “rewarding” others after it is over, cat and mouse, and this is an example. If he were a normal guy, and he had been respectful and caring in his backing out, yes we could be friends. But for me to remain friends with this one, it would only allow him to continue his mind games. I don’t need that.

    Gosh, I have learned A LOT in the past few weeks! I am starting to think his real game was to put on this front of providing/protecting me so he could get in close enough to bet everything I have built on some crazy roll of the dice. And if he “lost” who cares, he just walks away. No thanks!

    Like

  124. Spawny Get says:

    Bloom, maybe try, “while I would value you as a friend, it’s too painful for little old me”. Brush the ego while backing away slowly. He will be no asset in getting a guy, so you can also request a clean break on that basis too…but thats the second avenue to try as it doesn’t brush his ego.

    Liked by 1 person

  125. jf13 says:

    @redpillgirl
    You giving back the ring nicely when you don’t have to technically, i.e. without making him sue you, should be the exchange he should be glad to make for you letting him throw out your old washer and dryer.

    Liked by 1 person

  126. Agreed Spawney, I think to let him think I am just too brokenhearted over losing him to be in contact is the no conflict way to back away. Play dumb. Any confrontation, even standing up for what most people would consider very reasonable things to ask, will only lead to drama that he will then use to paint himself the victim and make me look the baddie. From everything I have been reading, absolutely no contact going forward is the best route. Best to give him everything, so there are no loose ends, no ties. Staying “friends” would only allow him to keep tabs on and control me, keep me in the wings in case he wants to circle back around, and like Ton said so he can claim “good guy” status. He broke his promises to me and even worse to my kids, why would anyone want a “friend” like that?

    Liked by 1 person

  127. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    That he chose to upgrade the purchase after you had made your decision is entirely on him.
    Keep the washer/dryer. It was your birthday and Christmas rolled into one.
    It seems, the more I hear, the worse this gets.
    Time for a silly bear video.

    Liked by 1 person

  128. SFC Ton says:

    fuck face only wants to be friends to get the ring and washer/dryer back.

    ignore him. block his number, email etc and next time no dude meet the bloomettes until he’s hit the year mark

    Liked by 2 people

  129. I already told him he can have it all back. Probably a dumb choice but I just want him out of my life. If all he wants to be friends for is to get that stuff, he can have it. Good riddance!

    Like

  130. SFC Ton says:

    ^^^^ is why women should not make their own decisions

    Liked by 1 person

  131. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    Ton has a point. He is going to find reasons to stay in your life.
    Best to draw the line at the ring and no more.

    Liked by 1 person

  132. Yoda says:

    (He bought them on credit, I picked out a nice set on sale, he went back the next day and choose different ones three times the price.)

    Likes expensive things on credit he does.
    Not good this is.

    Liked by 1 person

  133. True, that was an emotional decision not in my favor. I have already said it, I can’t see how I can go back on that? I don’t want them reminding me of all this anyway. I would rather they be gone.

    Of course they could be gone, with the new set I originally picked in their place and several thousand in my pocket — and that’s why Ton said what he said and he is right. That’s how I should be thinking, why am I not?

    If you guys can come up with a way for me to say it…and that I won’t feel is stooping to his level…I am all ears.

    I feel like an idiot all around, truly. This has been a very hard lesson to learn.

    Like

  134. SFC Ton says:

    tell him he’ll get the washer/ dryer when he replaces the older but fully functioning set he put on the street corner

    Like

  135. Cill says:

    Did what you told him you’d do and get a third party to deliver the ring and the washing machine to him. A fight will land you exactly where you don’t want to be: constantly reminded of him by his role as the combatant on the other side. It’s not worth it, Bloom. Do what’s best for yourself and your daughters. Think about it: a damn washing machine is not worth it.

    I can’t say any more than that on the subject.

    Liked by 1 person

  136. Farm Boy says:

    New post is up

    Like

  137. He said he would bring the older washer and dryer set from his house to replace it, I should have added that before. It’s about the same condition as my originals. The set he is taking is a top of the line matching front loader set, red. (Also extra for the color)

    I was thinking about him and money last night and remembered what he said a few days after making the ultimatum about adjusting the child support, he said, “I wonder what they will that when we pull up in a brand new truck? Oh well.” Then he kinda snickered.

    The guys is a snake, plain and simple. I am getting off easy. He would have run us into the ground, guaranteed. I am better off, old washer and dryer and all.

    Like

  138. Farm Boy says:

    “I wonder what they will that when we pull up in a brand new truck? Oh well.”

    What exactly did he say?

    Like

  139. Farm Boy, sorry typo. He said, kind of as an aside rather than to me, “I wonder what they will think about that when we pull up in a new truck. Oh well…” Like he thought it would be funny. This was three days before the end…he had never said anything like that before. I think his true self was emerging…I am sure I had only begun to see it.

    Like

  140. Farm Boy says:

    He likes his stuff. Even when it is owned by the bank.

    Liked by 1 person

  141. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    Hard to believe that just a short time ago, this guy was the cat’s pajamaa.
    Close the chapter.

    Like

  142. @ fuzzie that’s also classic, they seem “perfect” at first. A very calculated act in fact. That’s why they rush, hard to keep up the act.

    Like

  143. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    While posting to you here, I am watching “Say Goodbye to Crazy” with Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam.
    Yikes!!

    I had an errant thought about electronic devices. You need to make sure those are not compromised.

    Like

  144. Trust me I am very much in disbelief myself. And thought I was smarter than this. I really did. In my defense, these types are good at what they do, many people miss it until ot starts to unravel like this. Now I am just focused on no conflict followed by no more contact. Anyway…I feel like an idiot.

    Like

  145. Fuzzie watching that program now, thanks!

    Like

  146. Farm Boy says:

    Bloom,

    Requested mission accomplished

    Liked by 1 person

  147. Much appreciated farm boy!

    Like

  148. Spawny Get says:

    Bloom, it happens to the best of us. Learn whatever lessons there are and move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  149. Dang how I wish all of you could be here on Sunday to meet the ex and be the trusted third party for me! p.s. you guys are great! Thanks again for listening and for the sound advice.

    Liked by 1 person

  150. Cill says:

    “be the trusted third party for me”. I thought you had one? Too late for me, it takes me several days to arrange caretakers etc. You blokes in the States, can’t anyone get there to help her out?

    Like

  151. jf13 says:

    re: third party

    Big neighbor dude and wife “for Sunday brunch” and ‘”for help with the washer and dryer”.

    Liked by 1 person

  152. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    It may be a good idea to keep us posted that day.

    Liked by 1 person

  153. Cill says:

    Bloom would JF’s suggestion work in your case?

    Like

  154. I do have several people I can ask, and will. And yes I will also keep everybody here posted that day.

    Liked by 1 person

  155. M says:

    Cill offers help without a thought for his own safety. Big heart should learn to mind his own safety first.

    Like

  156. Yoda says:

    This “the M” it is?

    Liked by 1 person

  157. Cill does have a big heart, and of course I would never let him come so far. I have lined up a friend and her ex-Marine boyfriend to be here during all of this tomorrow. For moral support.

    Like

  158. SFC Ton says:

    lol that’s more support then you’ll get from a marine

    Like

  159. M says:

    I was worried, Bloom, when I read back and saw your ex fiancée owns a gun.

    Hi Spawny, Cill gives me seven fits at times. He has no fear. He has the warrior gene, and Molly carries it also. Explain much?

    Like

  160. Spawny Get says:

    With his height I figured he hit his head a lot…don’t know about Molly.

    Liked by 1 person

  161. @ M I would never ask Cill or any to be in harm’s way. I am not expecting violence, just heartache. Letting go of something you thought was what is was not is never easy. Right now I am feeling so many emotions, ug, But I also know if he wanted this to work, he would be showing that and he isn’t. It’s like opening up a huge package wrapped in beautiful paper and bows only to find an empty box. But I also know this is about him more than it is about me, or how lovable I am, or what my future holds. Best to not be tied to someone like that, as much as I had hoped he was it. The universe intervened, I try to focus on being thankful for that. This probably makes no sense. Despite this, I still believe in love, and I hope to find it yet. Maybe I need this experience to grow to the level where I will recognize the real deal, and not some two bit opportunistic facsimile of.

    And Ton, I am not sure what you mean by that but you are on my short list, don’t tempt me to vent my crappy feelings onto you! And I won’t. But trust me, I am tempted.

    Liked by 2 people

  162. Spawny Get says:

    Bloom hasn’t done anything to upset the guy, just keep it cool. Regret it didn’t work out. His actions over the washer aren’t angry, just give him the stuff and wave him goodbye. No fuss, no drama.

    Liked by 1 person

  163. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    M,
    It is good to see you among us. The “horse” movies were my idea. If you have seen too many of them recently, it is my fault.

    Ton,
    Stop making fun of Marines. They do pretty well under Army leadership. I heard how they went through a door in Harper’s Ferry with unloaded rifles a while back.

    Bloom,
    May it all go off without a hitch tommorrow. It’s good to have a guy around. It takes two strong guys to lift a washer. It’s too much for one.

    Like

  164. M says:

    Hi Fuzzie, that wonderful charge at Beersheba!

    Bloom I don’t know all the ins and outs of your heartbreak and disappointment. I have been through heartbreak too and it’s just so draining it’s hard to chin up and keep going. I didn’t know until it happened to me that “broken heart” feels literally like a broken heart, physical pain in the chest and all. Well my heart is now whole again and having been where you’re at, my heart goes out to you right now. Only time can cure the pain. You’ve had some good advice here, I won’t try to add to it!

    Like

  165. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    M,
    California has two seasons, green and brown. Brown is very long.
    Enjoy!

    Like

  166. M says:

    Fuzzie, wonderful thank you!

    Like

  167. Two hours away, I feel sick 😦 I can do this. I will be ok. It is for the best. I will only imagine throwing dishes at him as he leaves…

    Liked by 1 person

  168. Liz says:

    Whoa. I hadn’t been keeping up and just read this.
    Good luck Bloom!

    Liked by 2 people

  169. Cill says:

    ” I can do this”. You sure can! You’ve done tougher stuff than this before. Moehau Man agrees. For a positive booster-shot, just think of Moe’s friendly face and you can’t go wrong. Go Bloom!

    Like

  170. Moehau Man says:

    <<< Yes well, the least I can do is proffer my image at this point.

    Like

  171. Farm Boy says:

    By the chest hairs, I might say that would be Sean Connery.

    Like

  172. Moehau Man says:

    Well, yes, there might be a certain resemblance, although I draw a line at the face.

    Like

  173. Farm Boy says:

    It is true. Moe does have real hair on top

    Like

  174. Moehau Man says:

    Bloom said “Earlier today I was thinking of offering $10,000 to the person who could successfully introduce me to someone as interested in me as I in them”

    Well (ahem) may I put myself forward? One glance at my photo will reassure you that I’m a sensitive soul, which is the reason why I postponed my offer until now.

    My Gravitar profile says it all:
    “I dwell near Moehau Mountain in the wild Coromandel area. I am refined and artistic and bang bones together for rhythm. I belong to a group called The Banging Boners (all drummers).
    We are looking for a vocalist, preferably a female Moehau Man foreignor (human). Tune and lyrics all one note, all one word in rhythm with the Boners.”

    For the reward, my bank details are:
    Bank: Moehau Grand Larceny Bank,
    666 Kauri Club Street,
    Mount Moehau 666
    Account number: 666-666-666-666-666-666

    Mrs Moehau Man (my prudent old mum) says a direct credit would be preferred to a cheque check
    😉 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  175. Moehau Man says:

    P.S. Bloom, when we’re an item you can take all the blurry photos of me that you like. I’ll pose like Michelangelo’s David.

    Liked by 1 person

  176. Moehau Man says:

    P.P.S. I’ll toss in a cave as part of the deal.

    Liked by 1 person

  177. He is here, taking back my, I mean his, Christmas/birthday washer/dryer gift, engagement ring, and necklaces he bought for my daughters to symbolize us all becoming a family. They were to be worn at our wedding. He spoke to me as if we are mere acquaintances. Who does this??? Oh yeah, I man I am so glad I did not marry!!! What a cad!

    Liked by 1 person

  178. Sumo says:

    Apparently, the concept of “gifts” means something very different in the U.S than it does here in Canada…..

    Liked by 1 person

  179. Cill says:

    There’s a lesson to be taken out of it, for me at least. A man should never make a promise unless he knows he will keep it. Hell, I knew this anyway, well and truly. Nope, I just don’t get this guy. He’s a mystery.

    Liked by 1 person

  180. Well, it is done. He’s gone. We talked some but it was the same, he says this is all my fault, I did not do enough, fast enough, and he got tired of it. Yep, all me. I just wasn’t jumping thru the hoops fast enough or high enough I suppose. Not cool. Not love. Not a healthy way to approach a marriage. It hurts right now, is a huge disappointment, but I am pretty sure with time I will be glad I am not in a marriage based on hoop jumping.

    Liked by 3 people

  181. Spawny Get says:

    Glad he’s done.

    Can I ask just one question (after this one)?

    Why do you care what that fuckwit thinks about anything?

    Wave the jackass bye-bye and forget all about him.

    Liked by 2 people

  182. Yoda says:

    I did not do enough, fast enough, and he got tired of it

    Much more than sammiches he did require.

    Liked by 1 person

  183. @ spawney I am not sure why I am still feeling like this is a loss? Illogical. Maybe it’s the loss of what I thought it was, that I had found it only to realize no, not it. I do hope I find it someday, the real deal. I would like that very much!

    Like

  184. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    You are taking this as hard as I would were I in your place.
    This is not good. To be honest, I am afraid to put myself out there because I don’t think that I could forgive myself for another fail.

    This is the the end of it? He can’t come back for more?

    Knowing you, you have your sources. You’ll know how the story ends with him and you can close the chapter.

    In the meanwhile, I know what you are going through.

    Like

  185. Cill says:

    It’s a loss of belief in someone you had given your trust, and a loss of trust that such happiness exists. Full recovered is possible. I’ve seen it happen.

    Like

  186. Spawny Get says:

    The reason I asked my question & made that recommendation is that I found it helpful in the past.

    Like

  187. jf13 says:

    All’s well that ends.

    Like

  188. M says:

    “Full recovered is possible. I’ve seen it happen.”
    He’s talking about me and he’s telling the truth. It does happen. 😉

    Like

  189. Farm Boy says:

    I am not sure if any recovery will happen if Moe gets involved.

    Like

  190. Spawny Get says:

    Spawny the Beneficent shares knowledge

    Like

  191. Spawny Get says:

    Dave Call-me-mong rides in to rescue marriage and his party’s election chances

    Cameron pledges to ‘expand’ tax cut for married couples in bid to win back disgruntled Tories

    Prime Minister suggests £212-a-year cut could be increased after election
    Predicts policy for 4million couples will be ‘very popular’ from April
    Vows to stick to pledge to cut net migration to the ‘tens of thousands’
    Admits he must do more to win over Tories who ‘drifted’ to other parties

    Like

  192. I’ll be ok, I sure appreciate all the caring thoughts, I really do. You guys are great! May we all find whatever it is we seek. It may be rare, but it is out there.

    Like

  193. SFC Ton says:

    I could have made a carer out of bailing marines out of the shit. Don’t get me started on how fucked up.their officers and staff work is but you have my email. Use it

    Liked by 1 person

  194. Farm Boy says:

    WWWD What Would Winston Do?

    Like

  195. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Bloom,
    You’re all right. Woulld that it had all been different but, that isbeyond your control.

    Like

  196. Farm Boy says:

    There is a new post

    Like

  197. M says:

    Bloom, my first comment looks out of context and I’d like to explain. I was actually reacting to a comment made on the 16th March: (https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2015/03/13/exact-subject-hard-to-determine/comment-page-1/#comment-14483): “There must be something I can do to help. Maybe I should go over and meet this bloke, and see if I can suss him out.”

    It wasn’t until today that I heard what went on at Cill’s end back at 16th March. He was planning ways of meeting your ex fiancé in an non-confrontational manner. He has already used up more than nine lives – more like nineteen. I hope that puts some perspective on my original comment!

    Liked by 1 person

  198. Sumo says:

    Pfft…”non-confrontational manner”. Apparently I need to work on my bad influence mojo.

    Liked by 1 person

  199. Cill says:

    Sumo you are bad. You are badass bro.

    Like

  200. Sumo says:

    Maybe, but I’ve never dispatched a living tank with a knife. That puts your badass cred a few levels above mine.

    You just need to be more of a bastard when dealing with people. 😀

    Like

  201. Cill says:

    You set Hunter Cill loose upon the world? You are One.Bad.Man… knuckle bump from wee Meddy BTW.

    Like

  202. […] she has little to fall back on.  In order to alleviate this problem, women normally try to lock up a guy before the wall gets too close.  But this is getting harder and harder for women to […]

    Like

  203. […] total stranger in a bar once gave me a description of a critter who could only have been myself! He told me about a big hairy wild man who runs around […]

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