This is a sensitive issue for many a man, myself included. It is about divorce. But not about just any type of divorce, but frivorce. That is, frivolous divorce. Divorce for no justifiable reason.
In the olden days, a reason was required for divorce legally. One could not do it without an apparent reason. This put a damper on divorcing, as well it should.
But what about today? The incentives/disincentives are unbalanced between the genders. There is no longer a requirement for a reason for divorce. It it now a socially sanctioned event on one’s lifelong journey. Many modern women apparently are not serious about much of anything. This toxic brew leads to frivorce.
There is, of course, the financial and other injuries imposed upon the husband. Grown men are expendable, so there really is nothing to see there. But the elephant in the room that women (and their enablers) do not like to talk about is what is truly best for the children. After all, we do want to do what is best for the children don’t we? Well, yes we do, and that normally means sucking the poor ex-husband dry for their (*cough her*) benefit. Is this what is truly best for the children one might ask? Being a father, and doing all of the things that fathers do, apparently has little importance.
As for the benefit of the children, it is often stated that it is better for them not to see the two parents arguing repeatedly. Of course, this is not good. But probably much of what is going on here is that women are somehow vaguely dissatisfied, talk to other divorcees who have nothing better to do than sabotage marriages, and then escalate the demands, leading to fights. The fights become much of the supposed justification for divorce. He gets blamed, when in reality, she was the reason behind it all. Naturally enough, the hamster smooths it all over.
There are other scenarios where the women is effectively the instigator, and then pretends to be the aggrieved victim. I am sure that commenters know of them. Perhaps they could share.
To sum up, women often have intensely strong incentives to divorce their husbands, require no legal justification to do so, and through passive-aggressive plausibly deniable schemes can make him look like the reason.
I will relate four personal stories. In the case of my divorce, my ex-wife divorced me effectively because I did not give her enough tingles (money, other stuff, was not an issue) . This was primarily due to dominance issues, not physicality. Trying calibrate things was difficult. Even she realized this. She wanted what she wanted (being highly educated and all), but also wanted me to be dominant. Once she stated, “You need to walk ahead, and aside of me at the same time”. Naturally she destroyed the very good relationship between myself and my step-son. That was apparently unimportant. In her case, she did not even try to justify the divorce. Her family and friends were aghast. One of her friends likened her to Anna Karenina.
I have related this story before. After my divorce, I was doing laundry in a small farming village at the laundromat. Four local fellas came in. We started talking. That asked what I did. I stated that I was a professional in the city. It also came up that I was recently divorced. They all came to the same conclusion at once, that I was living in my minivan parked by the front door of the laundromat. The knowledge of divorce rape is in modern men.
I was traveling with my brother, sister and Mom to visit relatives. We were in a store parking lot, waiting in our vehicle for this fella with a pick-up truck and topper to finish his loading so that our vehicle could move on. What he was loading, and how he was loading it were very unusual. My brother commented that he looked like he was living in his truck. I suggested that he was divorced. My brother laughed, my sister got mad, and my Mom didn’t get it. I am kind of glad that my Mom did not get it, as she was never contaminated with the evil thinking that many a modern woman has.
On one Thanksgiving during my married days, I took my stepson out of the house in order to keep him out of my wife’s hair. He was just too excited about the upcoming event. I was coming down with something, and felt and looked awful. We went to a Burger King for a snack. The manager was working the register. He looked at me ( very haggard in appearance) and my stepson, came to the conclusion that I was divorce raped and that I had my son for just an few hours or so on Thanksgiving; and promptly sent us on our way without paying. He could sympathize with what he thought was a down and out fella.