A recent comment exchange here with Tarn led to the question: “Who needs validation”? It was suggested that women do need it; and that some build their entire lives around it (e.g. Facebook). But what about men? How much do they need it? What exactly is validation and what is its purpose? It would seem that validation is social reward(s) (note that they are cheap to produce and distribute) that a group gives to its members for whatever reason. It used to be that society as a group socially rewarded members that contributed to the society. This is not quite the same thing as respect. Respect is an attitude, validation is a reward.
In my personal case, being an INTX, I grew up more or less disliked by my schoolmates. Part of it had to do with the ability of INTs to see right through people. Even though I tempered the usage of this attribute, it did not help. Children need an “other”, and I was it. I got some validation from my grades, but I did what any good INT does; I learned to become internally motivated and develop satisfaction from my accomplishments and newly developed skills. In short – I was marginalized, and as a consequence, went my own way. The society of children in the school lost almost all power over me. With respect to how this manifests itself today; in work and social life, unless people can affect me directly, I pay little attention to what they think of me. Though with people I respect, I do care about how they think of me.
In the time since I left school, men have become more and more marginalized by society. They receive validation from it most irregularly. Using a behavioral model, this implies that society as a whole really does not care what men do. If they did, there would be rewards (validation and other). Even with validation an inexpensive reward to distribute, it is kept on the shelf. What might men deduce from this? As a result, one cannot help but believe that many men have developed like me their own internal validation system. Perhaps this manifests itself in terms of video game accomplishments. Perhaps it manifests itself in terms of owning, maintaining, and a riding motorcycle. All of the standard MGTOW activities apply. In short — one way that society (and women in general) has marginalized men is by providing little validation for their efforts. This results in men putting their own needs first, and often ignoring society’s. Society is (and will continue) to pay the price for this.