A report by Choicy the Aussie, who takes one for the team and genuinely porks a PPP (edited by Cill)
Intro by Cill:
I had to edit Choicy fairly heavily to make him explicable. If you read his words with an Australian accent you’ll still get a feel for the man, I hope. If you’re not familiar with the Aussie accent:
The short “i” is pronounced long “e”.
bit = beet
is = eze
him = heem
in = een
Cill = Seal
The long “i” is pronounced “oi”:
I = oi
like = loik
kind = koind
Over to Choicy:
Hi, I’m a mate of Cill’s. Cill is half Kiwi for which I forgive him because the better half of him is Aussie, like me. I’ve been in The Land Of The Long White Cloud (New Zealand a.k.a. Godzone a.k.a. The Shaky Isles) for a month, and I read his posts on the Predatory Promiscuous Princesses. He took me to the nearest PPP hotspots and I have to concur with him, the PPPs are thick as flies down there. I have seen similar in Aussie, but that’s another story.
I said to Cill, “Mate, your research is nowhere near complete, not until you’ve had sex with a PPP. Sex has got to be the next stage.” I was half joking but he agreed with me. If there’s to be a next stage, it has to be sex with a PPP. Cill didn’t want to do it himself, saying he wouldn’t be into sex with a woman he didn’t like. Also he’s kind of preoccupied at the moment. So it looked like that bright idea of mine would go nowhere. Until…
Choicy to the Rescue!
As I was cruising home I put on my thinking cap. Cill is a bloody good mate. In the interests of research I should help out my mate and have sex with a PPP. Us Aussies will do anything for our mates. I thought it would be a good way to knock off the series on the PPP, give some thrust to the final episode, ram the message home if you take my point. Otherwise the entire series would lack penetration.
When people say Aussies and Kiwis are similar, they’re wrong. Kiwi men are quieter and more reserved and can’t field a compliment. Us Aussies are louder and brasher and when we’re good at something we call it like it is. Be sure that when I say I have a point to ram home, it’s a point big enough to wear a top hat, okay?
My biggest worry was rape. My image of the PPP wasn’t very nice. At their whim, they could accuse me of rape and destroy my career and reputation even if I wasn’t convicted. It doesn’t matter how careful a man is, the deck is stacked in her favour and he puts his life in her hands. However, call me a chump, I decided to proceed with the mission.
My report probably is not what you expected. At risk of letting the team down, I have to tell it like it is.
To reiterate what Cill has said, to hook up with a PPP I had to look for a crew.
“The ‘crew’ is a society of PPPs who hunt as a pack for sex in New Zealand. The crew and its hookups are the Sexual Market Place for the PPP.” ( See Trouble between immigrant women and PPPs )
I went down town where Cill took me before, and sure enough there right in front of me was a crew. My first impressions of the PPPs were not good. They were a rumpty bunch. One looked as if she’d swallowed a couple of wheely bins. This PPP thing was starting to look over-rated, somewhere up there with dancing, holding hands and queueing.
I decided to sniff it out before getting in too deep. My first two nights (not consecutive) with the crew were spent talking with four male crew members which worked quite well because they weren’t all busy shagging PPPs at the same time. They were drinking whilst I sort of went through the motions of drinking. At the same time I was visible to the women when they weren’t busy – a sneaky Choicy familiarization technique.
The 4 Men in the Crew
I got friendly with them. I asked lots of questions and I’ve boiled it down to five on which they all concurred:
1. They preferred a new woman each time.
2. They avoided sex more than once with the same woman unless nothing else was available.
3. First time with a new woman was always the best sex.
4. The more sex you’d previously had with a woman, the less intense the sex was.
5. None of them was interested in a relationship with a woman even as a sex partner (they preferred one-off sex).
I Hook up with a PPP
The night came when I went back to the crew to hook up with a PPP. In the interests of research I decided to go dry to keep a clear head. This was no time to pause to think, I had to act positive and be in with a grin at the Binn Inn at Levin then [Cill notes: that last phrase means “in boots and all”. We pestered Choicy to say it so we could can laugh at his accent. “Binn Inn” is the name of a chain store in NZ]
My throat felt as dry as a dead dingo’s donger so I swigged down a handle of Fosters off the tap. I followed it with a whiskey chaser, to sharpen my head for the research. I was on my second chaser when someone bumped my elbow, and there was a PPP. I’d noticed a lot of Kiwi PPPs are not good lookers. This one was a fit-looking voluptuous brunette.
There was a smidgen of small talk until she said “Come on”, and led the way, and I said “Why not? That’s what I’m here for. Taking one for the team.” (I didn’t actually say the “Taking one for the team” part out loud.) She was turped up and laughing and rearing to go, so off we did go, to a taxi. [Cill notes: and thence to an apartment]
Simply put, she really did honestly and truly enjoy it. There was no acting, no me wondering “is she one of those who likes this, or one of those that like that”, no hard work on my part, just passion and lust and real close-up old-fashioned sex. I felt relaxed whilst hot, no quirks or complications, enjoy it and let yourself rip.
The way she wanted it was mish – me on top holding her close. She’d done it so many times before, with all that practice behind her she knew exactly what to feel. She could teach a trick or two to a King’s Cross hooker. She held gently onto me like she was expecting what sensation to feel because she’d been here before, and how. She knew “let it happen and it will come”, and she went off the Richter scale on the old in and out. We both knew when it was all over at exactly the same time. It was great sex.
She kept holding me and I was happy to stay intertwined. All of a sudden she decided that part was over as well, by pushing my chest with her hands and saying, “Okay, up!” It wasn’t said rudely or anything. I withdrew straight away. I’m very aware of all the rape rules etc. The sudden new situation did seem like a big change from a few seconds earlier. What did she expect of me? I waited for her to dismiss me or whatever. After all, I was here for her reactions, not mine. I’m doing research for my friend. Listen and observe, Choicy, I tell myself.
She stood and sorted some clothes, and grabbed a towel. As she walked out she turned and said, “you okay?” She was dismissing me, the bitch.
My humour got the better of me. “Sure! Too-da-loo”, I said. With her back to me she fluttered her fingers at me over her shoulder and went for a shower. PPP over and out.
I learned later why she had been in a hurry. She had sex with at least two more men that same night. She wanted to freshen up before the next round.
My Summary of the PPP:
Marriage: Completely out of the question. She’d be a divorce waiting to happen. She’d put new men and the crew ahead of her partner every time.
LTR: Completely out of the question. She’d be a bustup waiting to happen.
FWB: No thanks, she’d be more interested in sex with new men than friendship. The crew would come before friendship, too.
Sex only: No thanks, I’m not prepared to hang around until she can fit me into her busy sex schedule. Also, I’m inclined to agree with the 4 male crew members. Sex with that same woman again has no great appeal for me. I’d do it, but not seek it. Now that I know the way it would end, I’d not find it as good as the first time, and I’d rather say “been there, done that” and give it a miss.
Overall: You’d be of interest to her until the next screw comes along, then move over rover. At best you’d be between her and her fun with the crew.
Don’t go away now, there’s more in store! I don’t only help out my mate, I go the extra yard for him beyond the call of duty:
Yes, ever a glutton for punishment I decided one was not enough. I’d extend the research by going for sex with PPP#2
I Hook up with a PPP#2
Next time I merged into the crew, I saw PPP#1 again. Beyond the smile we gave each other, there was nothing there. The crew is a shallow world, a tinsel-town where the image is more important than the true self. I’m truly not interested in any more fun with her. After this experiment is over, I’m not interested in catching up with any of them again, male or female. This is not at all the usual me. I’m always keen to maintain contact with people I meet in my travels, especially in NZ where I’ve built up several close friendships already.
PPP#2 was a real easy hookup. It was obvious that PPP#1 had primed her about me. I don’t know what she said, except it must have been positive.
PPP#2 was a cute brunette, more petite and chatty than PPP#1. I learned that she’s very much into the crew and its code. She’s sure that the ways of the crew are right and scorns opposing values. The values of the crew are as Cill explained ( See What did New Zealand do to deserve the PPP ). She comes across as quite nice, like one of those hippy women into cults and living in the desert and that sort of thing. A firm believer in the new way.
The Sex with PPP#2:
I think she’s as experienced as PPP#1 but hasn’t absorbed it the same way. PPP#1 might’ve thought something like “This is sensation X, and I like it” then a year or two later “This is sensation X, and it’s driving me wild!” I don’t think PPP#2 had begun any such process.
The sex was very different from PPP#1. PPP#2 was kind of average in the “enjoyed it” stakes, by which I mean she didn’t get off on it the way PPP#1 did. Wanted more positions. We went through them as if it wasn’t the real thing unless with the full range. She didn’t absorb the sensations as PPP#1 did.
Another thing, she was hoping for a connection I think. “Validation”. Afterwards she looked at my face the way they do when they want to know your feelings. She asked if I enjoyed it and I said I did. She nodded. “This way is far better than stoopid dating and going out”, said she.
“I’m not so sure about that”, I replied.
She launched into a big sell (praise) of the crew and became agitated about it. She seemed nice, compared with PP#1 she was anyways, and I had to shut her up. To shut her up I did what I’d not have done with PPP#1, I gave her a quick peck (kiss) and a big hug. She pecked and hugged me back and it appeared heart-felt.
If only she could have allowed herself to let sex happen with clear mind like PPP#1 did. PPP#1 gave the sex her whole attention. PPP#2 was more multitasking. She was better than average at sex but not as good as PPP#1. A combo of PPP#1 and PPP#2 would not be bad. PPP#1 was superb at sex but fucked it up with attitude.
I was wondering by now, who makes the damn rules?
I asked her “Who makes the rules for the crew? Somebody has to be the rule maker, right?”
We talked about that. She claimed the women make the rules but it was obvious to me my suspicions were correct: the women make the rules to give men what they want.
She even said it: “The women who give men what they want get the most sex.” Her praise of the crew was basically all around this creed: dispense with the damn prelims, just get straight to the sex. If that’s not what men want, I don’t know what is.
Choicy’s Hindsight Impression of the PPP#2:
Throw a spanner in the works:
I think you Kiwi jokers have to start asking, which one is the choir and which the conductor? Most of her talk with me was her confirming the crew society she goes by. I’d bet a can of Fosters, the word “crew” came from a man. No romance, no dating, simply sex because that’s the thing us men are aiming at if we’re honest. She gave me the impression she needed a man to confirm the sex culture she believes in. This is going to sound wacko, I think she was looking for a bond with us men. Not a soul mate as such – “soul mate” is dead as a dodo. More like “I’m doing the right thing giving equality of lust, how about you give us some deepness?”
When a man has sex with a woman, he’s validating her. The more men she has, the more validating she’s getting. It’s whacked-out logic but there it is, the logic of the crew. So PPP#1 turns them over like a croupier and gets max validation. PPP#2 gets as many men as she can manage but her need for some emotional bonding with a man slows her turn-over rate. So she keeps preaching up the value of the crew, to talk herself into less bonding and more men. I truly reckon that’s what it is. She’s trying to train herself to live with sex as the ultimate goal. It’s her validation, her all.
And the reason women make the rules to give men what they want is: The demand for men outstrips the supply.
Choicy’s Final Words:
Although I hated every minute of it, I braced myself and stuck it out. I took one for the Kiwi team!
Until I read Cill’s posts about PPPs I wouldn’t have known they were there. You could travel the length and breadth of NZ and never see a PPP in action. To be fair, if I were a night-clubby type of guy (which I’m not) I couldn’t help but notice them. When I went looking for them I found them with ease. It’s true, there are a lot of PPPs in NZ.
Note by Cill:
My congratulations Choicy, you took one for the team twice. That’s what I call trans-Tasman mateship.
Choicy took his mission seriously and left me with a ream of notes written in a large heavy hand. I regretted having to cut a lot of it out, it was all good stuff. In trimming it down I removed some of Choicy’s unintended humor, and photographic evidence of himself and PPPs out drinking in the bars and nightclubs. I left them out because I didn’t want to compromise privacy – even though the PPPs were acting up for the camera (knew they were being photographed).
Overall, I had to make a choice (pun intended) and opted for substance over humor.
My Take on the Issue:
Feminism removed the value of women in the eyes of men. If men are going to have any interaction with the creatures of feminism, it will be as limited as men can make it. In NZ there’s a shortage of men. In the phenomenon of the crew, men get what they want: sex with as many women as possible with no bonding.
Note by Spawny Get:
Have to thank the Antipodes for coming through again. This is a great, if tragic, tale. Cheers guys. I’ll be crackin’ a few tinnies in your honour later.