As this is likely to be my last post, or the last for a while, I better use it to set something to rights:
I have done my countrywomen a grave disservice by promulgating the misbehavior of the “PPP”. Ubiquitous she might be, but she’s not the only type of woman in New Zealand. There’s another type, which might even be the majority.
THE OTHER WOMAN
Someone suggested in humor that Tarn could set up a column of the “agony aunt” type. Now I’m wondering if I can ask for agony aunt input.
“The other woman” is a loyal, trustworthy, responsible and honest person.
SHOULD I MARRY HER?
Needless to say, “marriage” should not be taken literally.
The following are excerpts from stuff I wrote before Spawny Space came into being last year. I’m presenting it like a diary although it wasn’t written as a diary at the time. I have altered it for reasons of clarity and privacy (Note: The woman referred to as “M” is definitely not one of the women who have commented on this blog. She just happens to have the same initial as one of them):
Month 1, Day 23
I have told all my non-family women acquaintances that I don’t want to maintain contact with them unless they renounce feminism (my reason for this was a double tragedy in my life, caused by feminists). As a result, I now no longer have contact with women – apart from five who have tried to remain in touch with me. These five women don’t know each other.
Three of the five now swear that they have renounced feminism. They each say (separately) they are devotees of GirlWritesWhat etc etc, and they can quote a lot of detail as to why they detest feminism. Some of the detail is impressive, and new to me.
They want to be back in my life. A non-MGTOW friend tells me I’m mad, that any of these women is a real catch and I should nab one of them while they’re still there. He talks about “M” in particular as a “story book love”. Many times he and other guys tried to put the moves on her but she always said she was keeping herself for me.
M knows there are 4 other women who try to visit me here. She arrives in her outboard runabout and lies at an end of my secluded beach, far enough to be out of my way but where I can’t help but see her. When we catch each others eye she gives me a dainty wave then goes back to her book. I can’t call her a stalker. She’s unobtrusive and respectful and to all appearances just a lovely person.
She handed me something the other day. It was a small book she had put together with coloured wool. It contained her thoughts and I could see myself in some of them. It was charming.
When I approach to interact with her, we laugh and smile and I’m reminded of the huge amount of fun and humour we got out of each other in my pre-MGHOW days. And the sight of that body, those legs on my beach, her face slightly flushed… mrrrh-UH! I could tear out my hair in frustration.
And yet… I remain MGHOW. How many women have pledged undying love for a man, only to initiate divorce when she feels she’s worrth it? How many women absolutely meant it when they told him they love him, but a few years later are accusing him of DV to force him out of his home and the lives of his children?
How can I trust the word? I see only MGTOW, or a potentially ruinous blind trust.
Month 1, Day 24
I don’t often get “down” like this. Actually, I’m not depressed so much as frustrated. She’s there on “my” beach, and the only other person for miles around is me. And when she gets up to go for a swim MY GOD! a divinely beautiful woman. In paradise. My paradise. On her own. My mates think I’m mad, and there are times when I begin to wonder if they are absolutely right.
Dammit, I’m gunna throw a party tonight and get pissed with my mates (I’ll wait until she’s gone first, in her cute little runabout boat).
Bonfire on the beach. Sausage sizzle. Skinny dip… maybe hire a stripper or two?
Month 1, Day 25
I have no neighbours. The only way to reach my beach is by boat or chopper. My cottage is on a rock cliff above the beach. No cars, no roads.. I can throw a stone into the sea from my front lawn.
I really do live the dream. Would it sound boastful to call myself the ultimate MGHOW? Hell yes it would, but I think it could be true.
Who would be crazy enough to risk all this for a woman? Not even THIS woman. Hot damn, she’s lovely.. Actually, M is most definitely not after me for my assets. She was born into “old money”. She’s loaded. But if ever I had children and were forced out of their lives, there could be no paradise for me here or anywhere. It would be the end of the dream.
If only there were some way to unfoolishly trust the word, I could have it all with this one. A paradise complete with an Eve. But I got no crystal ball. It’s a shame. I’m going to have to tell her there’s no possibility of LTR. Man o man I’m going to hate doing this. It’s obvious that she loves me. She exposes her inner self to me, making herself hugely vulnerable.
Month 1, Day 31
M seemed to guess what I was about to tell her. Before I could speak, she took a deep breath and said she will spend the rest of her life trying to prove I can trust her word, but hopes I will come to trust her before she’s too old (she’s in her early 20’s at this time). Also, if I want to emigrate to any country that remains uninfected with the feminism virus, she would love to come with me as the happiest woman in the world.
She tried to make me laugh by saying she wishes she were male so I might trust her, and if I were a gay MGHOW she’d be as camp as a row of tents.
In her feelings for me, she’s as sincere as the word can be in this day and age. However, I’m “too old to love a woman for singing a song” (Who wrote that or similar? Was it Shakespeare? Marlow? Webster?).
M and I knew each other in my pre-MGHOW days, so she already knew why I loath feminism. She knew the background – the people involved, and how it panned out.
I explained to M why a relationship between us is impossible. She tried to hide it, but was devastated. She left in her runabout, and I haven’t seen her again.
I remain a MGHOW.
Month 2, Day 13
M has disappeared from the radar. She has withdrawn from her old social circles. None of them have heard from her or know where she is. I start to worry about her. I visit her parents, who like me a lot. They too know why I’m a MGHOW. They tell me she is overseas and keeps them informed. She is okay. I can see it in their eyes, the sense of hopelessness, the waste. In the past, in a quiet way they had always made it clear they like the idea of me and M together. Speaking about her obviously upsets them, so I leave.
The present day
M is back. I hear about her from my relatives. She’s single and she’s not available in the SMP. They tell me M doesn’t ask about me but “she pricks up her ears whenever my name comes up”. Three days ago M asked one of them to ask me if it would be okay for M to visit the beach…
Meanwhile the legal conditions are as bad for a man as ever. A man who marries sells his soul. The wife has all the power. In NZ an LTR of a few years’ duration is treated as marriage for divorce purposes.
What’s my next move, if any?