I’m Bored


A very significant excuse that women use for divorce (when they are caught in an honest moment) is “I’m bored“.  This always struck me as odd, as I have always viewed boredom as something that oneself was responsible for.  Perhaps it is the fact that I am a fella, and fellas are taught to be responsible for themselves.  Also, when I was a boy, I quickly learned that if ever I stated those words, I would be quickly put to work doing chores.  Of course, for a boy, life is never really boring, as there is a whole world to explore.

When in my late 20’s, I noticed that activities were not as fun as they used to be.  The fella who I rented a room from noticed the same thing himself.  It seems that with a measure of maturity, the world just becomes less exciting.  As men, we both dealt with it.

Consider modern women though.  They are allowed to play their youth and beauty for all that it worth in their late teens and 20’s.  It must be a truly heady experience (the topic of a future post I am sure).  They are also probably never taught the lessons that boys are taught, primarily that one has to look at their problems and deal with them.  When the double whammy of the “wall” and life naturally becoming less exciting hit at approximately the same time, it must be difficult.  And once again, their coping mechanisms were never developed, so instability is happens.

I can feel a measure of sympathy for these women, as they were led down the primrose path of outsized expectations and poor character development.  But who led them down this path, and who/what is to blame?  I will leave this as an exercise for the readers.

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Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism
85 comments on “I’m Bored
  1. Farm Boy says:

    Let me state that these women bear a measure of responsibility themselves. But there are other forces involved. What are they?

    Like

  2. Yoda says:

    But there are other forces involved. What are they?

    Perhaps the Sith it might be.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    There is a lot involved with “I’m bored”. Unstated is the ‘request” to allieviate the boredom by entertaining. Aren’t kids expected to learn to entertain themselves along with learning how to read?
    Thsi is NOT a gender specific expectation.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Yoda says:

    Aren’t kids expected to learn to entertain themselves

    Modern kids are not.

    Like

  5. Yoda says:

    Unstated is the ‘request” to allieviate the boredom by entertaining

    Husband’s responsibility entertaining it is not.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Tarnished says:

    “When in my late 20’s, I noticed that activities were not as fun as they used to be.”
    Really? I’m 30 and I have yet to experience this. Although this could be because I’m easily amused and can always find something new to be amazed by…

    “Consider modern women though.  They are allowed to play their youth and beauty for all that it worth in their late teens and 20’s.  It must be a truly heady experience (the topic of a future post I am sure).”
    I hope so! It’d be interesting to know what that’s like from a firsthand source. Would certainly make for a good discussion of the differences between the sexes, at least.

    “And once again, their coping mechanisms were never developed, so instability is happens.”
    I wonder if this could have anything to do with where one falls in the sibling lineup? I’m 7 years, 8 years, and 10 years older than my brother and sisters, respectively. They *all* got away with a metric shit-ton more than I ever did in regards to academics and responsibilities. I was expected to cook dinner, do all my homework, help them with theirs, help them bathe, get them ready for bed…all by age 12. Being the oldest, I was told, meant you were the responsible child and the “model” the younger kids should strive to be like.

    Bah! The only one who could possibly be considered an adult right now is my brother, the Marine…and when he’s on leave he smokes, gets drunk, goes bar-hopping, and acts stupidly exactly as my sisters do every other weekend.I’m beginning to think it’s not a “female problem” but a generational problem, this sense of entitlement.

    Like

  7. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Off topic but, I was watching Judgybitch go on about an article in the Daily Caller the title was “Amanda Marcotte, the David Duke of Feminism”. It’s listed as such on bing but, if I try to go there, I am 404ed outand it was only published two days ago.

    Like

  8. Tarnished says:

    “Of course, for a boy, life is never really boring, as there is a whole world to explore.”
    The same exact world is out there for women to explore (as I am positive Molly can attest!). Trees to build forts in, rock outcroppings to climb, forests to survey, bogs to trudge through, lakes to swim in, plains to hike across and near-forgotten deer trails to navigate one’s bicycle around…How can boredom *ever* be an option in such a vast and fantastic place as our planet?

    Like

  9. Farm Boy says:

    The only one who could possibly be considered an adult right now is my brother, the Marine…and when he’s on leave he smokes, gets drunk, goes bar-hopping, and acts stupidly exactly as my sisters do every other weekend.

    Perhaps if boys are no longer expected to eventually be husbands, then this all is AOK.

    Once upon a time, boys were expected to grow into being husbands and fathers.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Farm Boy says:

    The same exact world is out there for women to explore (as I am positive Molly can attest!). Trees to build forts in, rock outcroppings to climb, forests to survey, bogs to trudge through, lakes to swim in, plains to hike across and near-forgotten deer trails to navigate one’s bicycle around…How can boredom *ever* be an option in such a vast and fantastic place as our planet?

    Those don’t sound like girl things to me.

    Girls get positive attention for just being. A boy has to earn it. Or perhaps modern boys don’t care enough to do so any more. Just go play some video games.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Tarnished says:

    “Perhaps if boys are no longer expected to eventually be husbands, then this all is AOK.”
    They’re all of age and can live as they wish…but I’d prefer that *none* of my siblings act this way. Regardless of whether they want to get married (they all do), it’s simply not responsible or healthy.

    “Those don’t sound like girl things to me.”
    They typically aren’t. Hence one of many reasons I have never considered myself a girl/woman. Even the tomboys from childhood all grew up to be average women who put away their beloved interests in exchange for cosmetics and gossip. 😦

    “Girls get positive attention for just being. A boy has to earn it.”
    I’m unsure if this is true. Certainly wasn’t in my case…I had to be top of the class in every subject to get any praise growing up. Sometimes it seemed I wasn’t a child, but a windup doll that my parents could trot out at parties so *they* could somehow get credit for my grades and achievements.

    It would be interesting to see what life experiences Liz, Molly, Alana, or Bloom had. Perhaps my parents were just weird and most girls really do get noticed simply for being alive.

    Hmmm. My sisters got lots of praise for being/acting girly, feminine, and pretty, whereas my brother and I got praise based on our worldly achievements. Is this what you mean?

    Liked by 2 people

  12. blurkel says:

    I’ve not yet read the other comments, so I’m reacting directly to the post.

    I’ve been dealing with this “I’m bored” meme throught my marriage. It’s as if I’m expected to keep Her Highness amused and entertained, no matter how much effort and money it will take me to do so. If I fail to do so, I end up getting the silent treatment until I “redeem” myself with the next week’s adventure.

    Some weeks this isn’t too challenging a chore. But there are other weeks when I find nothing of any interest to pursue. I have found that collegiate and community theaters can offer an escape from the routine, but the variety and availability varies widely, as programs don’t change much and are only offered at certain times in the annual calendar.

    I guess -as I seem to see her “suggesting” things she’d like to do- I’m no longer doing a good job of this, and have to be assisted with her input. Yet she refuses to take on the entire load of the weekend escape experience, because “I do this all week at home”.

    As if.

    I have three unemployed colleg-age kids still at home due to the so-called booming economy leaving them behind. they tend to do the bulk of the housework and the cooking as their means of paying rent. So where is all this drudgery she’s fleeing?

    There is little likelihood that a divorce could ensue from this, as she has very strong feelings against it from her own parents divorcing when she was young. But there certainly are times when I’d push for it, since as you regulars know, my life in this relationship hasn’t been meeting MY expectations!

    Liked by 4 people

  13. Spawny Get says:

    Hi Blurkel,
    (new email address? or screwed up old one. That’s the only reason that the comment got hung-up. no biggy)

    I would dearly love to reach into women such as your wife’s mind and see what it is she thinks she’s bringing to the relationship anymore. Does she just think that having popped out the kids she’s deserving of acting like the fourth kid for the rest of her life?

    I’m not saying that it’d be a great idea to ask her so directly, but I’m really curious where such a sense of entitlement comes from. The kids are hers just as much as yours…just what is this life justifying thing that she did just for you?

    Anyway, have a great Sunday.

    Like

  14. Spawny Get says:

    Tarn’s list is that of a girl…no boy would forget streams to dam. 😉

    Some days I’d be so coated with mud I’d have to hurry home before it set and left me immobile.

    Still, all good clean fun

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Spawny Get says:

    An interesting video in its entirety.

    Paul Elam’s old message regarding marriage starts at 1:06.

    There’s a JtO section starting at 5:23 that says it all about the MGTOW revelation.

    LawsHorizon added to the somewhat reduced links page.

    Like

  16. Tarnished says:

    Spawny,
    I apologize for neglecting to list everything. Mea culpa. 😛

    Blurkel,
    How much of an “adventure” does she require? Perhaps you could do what my lover and I do, and pick out a nice fantasy RPG for the X360 or PS3… 😀

    I jest of course. But seriously, what exactly does she think should happen every weekend? Is taking a walk at 12am during the spring to revel in the dark majesty of the moonlit night as fireflies recreate the skies for us sufficient? Or how about hiking along a natural trail visited only by our woodland cousins till you come upon a delightfully noisy waterfall clearing that fills you with desire for each other due to the sheer energy of the environment? Or perhaps even just visiting your closest urban jungle and walking hand in hand as you marvel at the immense sizes and shapes of the architecture that our forebearers erected whilst allowing your senses to be swept away by the scents and sounds of bustling life?

    These are excellent adventures to have, and they cost nothing.

    Like

  17. Liz says:

    “Also, when I was a boy, I quickly learned that if ever I stated those words, I would be quickly put to work doing chores.”

    Funny you should say that. When I read the title, the first thing that came to my mind to post was ‘go pull the weeds, young man!”

    The word “boring” or “bored” is absolutely banned in my house. Bored people are boring. They have lazy minds (I haven’t read through all the posts yet, so apologies in advance if someone claims they are ‘bored’…but this is my honest opinion). I’ve spend about two years of my life either bedridden or in a wheel chair/crutches and I’ve never been bored a moment in my life. Frustrated, certainly, but bored never.

    A friend of ours once said, “Boring is good in a marriage”. I thought that was a very very bad sign.

    Like

  18. Liz says:

    Blurkel, my husband gets antsy around the home and has hobbies to keep him busy when he’s not at work and doesn’t want to be around the house. By contrast, I am a house mouse.
    Perhaps your wife could take up a hobby?

    Like

  19. Spawny Get says:

    “Spawny, I apologize for neglecting to list everything. Mea culpa. :P”

    Spawny forgives

    Like

  20. Liz says:

    “It would be interesting to see what life experiences Liz, Molly, Alana, or Bloom had. Perhaps my parents were just weird and most girls really do get noticed simply for being alive.”
    I didn’t receive positive attention ‘for being a girl’, no. Probably the opposite because my mother is insane. But once I left home I did receive a lot of positive attention (and pretty much ever since…there are a lot of advantages to being a girl, though some disadvantages too of course).

    Like

  21. Cill says:

    Dams. Me too.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Spawny Get says:

    HOLY CRAP! Look at the stats

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Yoda says:

    there are a lot of advantages to being a girl, though some disadvantages too of course

    Disadvantages few there are.

    Like

  24. Yoda says:

    A friend of ours once said, “Boring is good in a marriage”. I thought that was a very very bad sign.

    Better than bat-shit crazy it would be

    Liked by 3 people

  25. Cill says:

    “They are also probably never taught the lessons that boys are taught”
    … by their solo mums?

    Farm Boy, I think you are saying boys are taught that they are responsible for everything that goes wrong in the world – particularly between male and female.

    I got to know young men who grew up in manless suburbs. Solo mums raised them. Female teachers “taught” them. Female lawyers represented them. Female judges judged them. They saw no men working in the shops, no male doctors or dentists. The only men on the streets were bad boys there to service the mums. Otherwise their world was populated entirely with women and children. When they grew up they moved out of the area, into crime or jail or to look for work. Before that, their interaction with men was limited to run-ins with the cops.

    They were taught nothing about how to be a man, nothing to keep them from boredom.

    Someone in the family rounded up some of these young men and kept them together. Later they got the bright idea “Let’s dump them at Cill’s place from time to time. Let Cill look after it.” It was a bright idea, it worked for me too, gave me something to do. When they first met me they looked at me the way they’d look at a cop. They were violent wimps. When I finished with them, they could build and do plumbing and electrical work and fix engines. They could fish and dive and hunt and gather. They were men.

    Liked by 4 people

  26. Tarnished says:

    Yoda,

    Liz didn’t say there’s a lot of disadvantages, only that there are some…I can only think of ones that are related to respect/perception of the female body, but perhaps she knows of others.

    Like

  27. Tarnished says:

    Cill,

    That sounds like fun! 😀
    I’m glad you got to show them what real male bonding can do. It’s spectacular how being respected (rather than demonized) for having masculinity can completely change a guy. Heh…it’s how I made many friends in high school. Bravo!

    Like

  28. Farm Boy says:

    I think you are saying boys are taught that they are responsible for everything that goes wrong in the world – particularly between male and female.

    That is probably the modern interpretation. However there was a time (and this exists in some places still) when boys were taught that they had to achieve and figure out how to get things done.

    Like

  29. Cill says:

    Tarn, there was some fun. The rest was bloody hard yakka. In the early stages I had to break up brawls and fights. It took just one event to give me their undying respect. You can probably guess what it was.

    I decided to take them out hunting early on, and they watched me kill a 440 pound wild boar with a knife. Instantly, I had their total unqualified respect. Just like that. They were shocked, and behaved differently toward me immediately. They enthusiastically involved themselves in all activities from then on. According to their manager, their visits to me were far and away their favorite thing to do.

    Like

  30. Farm Boy says:

    Better than bat-shit crazy it would be

    I will have to agree with Yoda on that one. My wife turned out to be bat-shit crazy (after hiding it well). Boring would have been great in retrospect.

    I am an introvert. I make my own fun. I live in my own world. “Boring” as how many interpret it is great for doing that.

    Like

  31. Farm Boy says:

    But once I left home I did receive a lot of positive attention (and pretty much ever since

    This happens to females by default. With today’s lowered standards, it even happens to fat and unpleasant ones. Perhaps some young women are swimming in it so fully that they do not realize that here is another world out there.

    Like

  32. Farm Boy says:

    I got to know young men who grew up in manless suburbs.

    I did not realize that Kiwis had tramp-towns. I suppose that where ever “social” stuff comes, things like this follow.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Spawny Get says:

    “they watched me kill a 440 pound wild boar with a knife.”

    mehh

    I heard it was your bad breath and general B.O. that had it on the ropes, the knife amounted to mercy killing.

    Like

  34. Spawny Get says:

    But well done. Your mum (iirc) told us about the group of boys thing over chrimbo. respect.

    Like

  35. Farm Boy says:

    I built dams when I was kid. I would go out after school in second grade and build them. My Mum thought it was great.

    Like

  36. Cill says:

    “Your mum (iirc) told us about the group of boys”
    Did she now! I must have a look at that.

    FWIW I didn’t kill it with a knife to show off. It’s the most humane way to dispatch a boar.

    Like

  37. Spawny Get says:

    “My Mum thought it was great.”

    However coated by mud I was, I never remember getting into any trouble over it, yeah cool.

    Like

  38. Spawny Get says:

    “It’s the most humane way to dispatch a boar.”

    Yeah, it’s the B.O and bad breath that you use to subdue it in the first place that cause the ethical problems.

    (It seems Spawny is too playful and will now withdraw to the drawing room and find summat to watch. Leaving you fine folks to your Sunday afternoons and Monday mornings respectively. Spawny out.)

    Like

  39. Yoda says:

    Murican football you could watch

    Like

  40. Cill says:

    “However coated by mud I was”
    So that’s where your urge to coat yourself in stuff comes from! More recently you coated yourself in tin, complete with tin hat with pyramid shaped top, to disguise the movie star face inside.

    P.S. I can’t find mum’s comment or any other comment re the group of boys. Was it on another blog?

    [SG – No, here. maybe not your mum, but a female from your tribe]

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Liz says:

    Yoda: “A friend of ours once said, “Boring is good in a marriage”. I thought that was a very very bad sign.”

    Better than bat-shit crazy it would be”

    These are the choices?!?

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Spawny Get says:

    Yoda, your comment reminds me of my regret over the lack of a dislike button.

    There’s only one sport that I watch and even then I prefer to delay-watch on a PVR so I can play faster and rewind for the good bits.

    Like

  43. Liz says:

    Sophia: “Liz didn’t say there’s a lot of disadvantages, only that there are some…I can only think of ones that are related to respect/perception of the female body, but perhaps she knows of others.”

    Well…let’s see…I have an embedded IUD that makes me bleed about a pint every three weeks. And, um, I haven’t been able to do jumping jacks without pissing myself since I had my first kid in my mid twenties.

    Like

  44. Spawny Get says:

    Cill,
    just looked around new year, couldn’t find it. Might have been earlier, I suppose. Would have sworn it was on here.

    Like

  45. Spawny Get says:

    Liz, FWIW, they sound like disadvantages to me. yikes.

    Like

  46. Tarnished says:

    Wow, I’m sorry to hear that, Liz. 😦

    I’ve read about IUDs getting embedded/stuck in the uterine wall. It’s why I talked my sister out of getting one and just staying on the Pill.

    Re:jumping jacks
    Is this from having one of your kids? Do kegel exercises not help with this at all?

    Like

  47. Tarnished says:

    Spawny,

    It was over at Bloom’s blog. I think it was on her masculinity post…

    Like

  48. Spawny Get says:

    Thanks Tarn, night

    Like

  49. Farm Boy says:

    These are the choices?!?

    Actually bat-shit crazy is the most common modern choice.

    Like

  50. Farm Boy says:

    Where’s the Bear?

    Like

  51. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    I just read all the comments.

    Spawny Get,
    I think I saw that video on foreign women when it was new.While I can understand why feminists would trash foreign brides, this was the first MGTOW that brought numbers to his argument. You would think that he wouldn’t have an axe to grind either way.
    From what I understand, the divorce rate is twenty percent, a whole lot better than the norm. Some have speculated that it would be even better if older guys left the youngies alone. A twenty year difference is big if she is twenty but , not so much if she is forty.
    Any idea where to get more straight info on this subject.?

    Like

  52. Liz says:

    Night night, Sophia. 🙂

    (Over-the-top-TMI alert to others for the stuff below)

    “Re:jumping jacks
    Is this from having one of your kids? Do kegel exercises not help with this at all?”

    Yeah, I felt the damage happening when I pushed him out…and thought ‘rut ro’. No, kegels help a little, but nothing will undo that type of damage. It’s not that bad I know women who can’t run or anything. That’s the only time I had a problem with delivery though.

    I know you aren’t planning on having children, but if you do I recommend no epidural or pain stuff for vag delivery. Not because it’s “brave” or whatever, but you can feel when you push and you have a lot better idea of when to go and when to stop, so there’s a lot less damage. A girl I knew ripped from front to back, all the way to the anus. It took forever to heal and the scar tissue built up. She couldn’t feel anything down there for a long, long time.
    Now, I’m SURE you’ll never have kids. 😛 But….they’re worth it.

    Like

  53. Tarnished says:

    Oh, they definitely are, Liz. That’s why I’m going to be a very supportive and caring “aunt” when my siblings have kids. 😀

    It’s not that I don’t like kids…actually, we usually get along great and I enjoy talking to my friends’ and customers’ children. But the very idea of being pregnant just skeeves/creeps me out big time. Not to mention how much dissonance I’d go through! Having breasts and hips is bad enough…I’d literally go insane from being pregnant. 😯

    I considered adoption at one point, but don’t think being a single parent is something to aspire to…and besides, I’m not home nearly enough and will be even less so if my business plans take off this year as they should. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Cill says:

    Found it, thanks Spawny and Tarn. The commenter was actually my Aunt “Ezzy”, a name which could look like it’s derived from Elizabeth (my Mum). Rather confusing for y’all. My Aunts are much more likely than my Mum to lodge comments on a blog.

    Other than around Xmas, Mum has commented nowhere but here, twice, and I was amazed that she went that far. She only did it for me 😉
    (She indulges me, you know. I’m a spoiled brat.)

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Yoda says:

    but you can feel when you push and you have a lot better idea of when to go and when to stop, so there’s a lot less damage.

    Boring this is not.

    Like

  56. blurkel says:

    @ Spawny

    I don’t know what happened with that login. The Internet was acting very strangely at that moment. I was having trouble logging on to web sites that are normally quite available.

    @ Tarn

    Like you, as the eldest of 7, I went through those kinds of experiences also. But I can’t say that I had much parental support for the efforts, as they were essentially dropped on me. Once I hit high school, I stopped playing that game, becoming the Bad Example!!!!

    As for your other questions:

    what exactly does she think should happen every weekend?

    A nice (and generally expensive) exotic restaurant, and some kind of entertainment. Staying home with the game machine would not be acceptable.

    Is taking a walk at 12am during the spring to revel in the dark majesty of the moonlit night as fireflies recreate the skies for us sufficient?

    My work hours tend to start about that time, so we don’t usually do late nights out. And while I grew up with fireflies, we don’t have them in Southern California.

    Or how about hiking along a natural trail visited only by our woodland cousins till you come upon a delightfully noisy waterfall clearing that fills you with desire for each other due to the sheer energy of the environment?

    The trail part works, but it’s been decades since the PK (preacher’s kid) I married felt brave enough to expose herself outdoors. That was also the last time.

    Or perhaps even just visiting your closest urban jungle and walking hand in hand as you marvel at the immense sizes and shapes of the architecture that our forebearers erected whilst allowing your senses to be swept away by the scents and sounds of bustling life?

    On occasion, when the weather and energy levels allow.

    Like

  57. blurkel says:

    @ Liz

    The only hobby my wife has is watching television news from as early as 4am to 11pm, as if the stories are going to change very much. She does spend a fair amount of time with the grandkids, and pretends to observe the Weight Watchers program. That’s about all she’s willing to do as a hobby, unless I’m spending money to take her out somewhere.

    Like

  58. Spawny Get says:

    You just missed the final letter before the @. Once I realised, I edited it in, so it shows the correct avatar now. As I said it was no biggy. I just wanted you to know why there was an issue.

    Liked by 1 person

  59. Liz says:

    “The only hobby my wife has is watching television news from as early as 4am to 11pm, as if the stories are going to change very much. She does spend a fair amount of time with the grandkids, and pretends to observe the Weight Watchers program. That’s about all she’s willing to do as a hobby, unless I’m spending money to take her out somewhere.”

    Sorry blurkel. 😦
    I wonder what’s wrong with her?
    I’m kind of a lazy ass myself, but that sounds almost catatonic.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Blurkel,
    I am worried. All she seems to want are activities that massage her ego, produce nothing, and cost lots of money. I have never seen anyone advise someone on this but, you need it. The rest of your life is a long time and you need to save, for both your sakes.

    Nobody took up the question of foreign brides. It does intrigue me that a man could “insource” a wife from a culture that doesn’t trash men and be better for it. Feminists are on the alert about this. They are making it difficult. Then, there is the Canadian legislation dating back to 2010 that effectively puts the kibosh to sexbots.
    At most, foreign brides account for 15k of marriages in the US. It’s a drop in the bucket.

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Tarnished says:

    Fuzzie,

    “Then, there is the Canadian legislation dating back to 2010 that effectively puts the kibosh to sexbots.”

    Luckily, that was only an urban legend that someone resurrected to mess with MRAs. The “ministries” quoted in the “proposal” have never existed.

    http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-feminist-fear-of-competition.html?m=1

    Not saying it couldn’t happen someday, but at least it hasn’t yet.

    Liked by 2 people

  62. Cill says:

    Tarn, the sexbot ban “was only an urban legend”
    Whew! Well that’s a relief…

    “I’m going to be a very supportive and caring ‘aunt’ when my siblings have kids”

    That’s my lot too. Except I’m more of an uncle than an aunt. I’m wee Meddy’s Unca Cill. He chortles when I arrive because I lie on my back and make him do “airplanes” on one of my hands or feet. I make him revolve as well. I practice using a brick. Actually I do that with some of my cuzzies also, e.g. Molly. It makes ’em go helpless with laughter, especially when I speed it up. They must enjoy the ordeal because they beg me to do it.

    Liked by 1 person

  63. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Tarn,
    Thanks for the correction. I should have been more suspicious.

    Like

  64. Farm Boy says:

    Hey Bear,

    Do you feel the urge to chase after the possum and deer?

    Like

  65. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Naw, I think that i’ll go to Subway.

    Liked by 1 person

  66. blurkel says:

    Fuzzie, I decided a long time ago that if my current marriage ends, there will be no replacement. I’ll remain single rather than risk being taken again.

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Tarnished says:

    If your current marriage ends…you should find a Friend with Benefits. It’s singlehood, but in conjunction with std-free, no hassle, mutually desirable sexytimes.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Blurkel,
    Something terrible has happened. I wish that I could put my finger on it.

    Like

  69. blurkel says:

    @Tarn

    If it isn’t FwB, it isnn’t for me! I’ve had it with this relationship nonsense.

    Liked by 1 person

  70. blurkel says:

    Don’t worry too much about it, Fuzzie. It’s been my life for decades, and I’m used to it. No need to take it over for me. You have too many 🌯 dates ahead of you!

    Like

  71. blurkel says:

    @ Spawny

    Does she just think that having popped out the kids she’s deserving of acting like the fourth kid for the rest of her life?

    Actually, she’d be the fifth kid, Spawny. I actually have one that launched successfully.

    I often kid the wife that she’s stuck emotionally at age 12 – the age she was when her parents divorced. She’s very much like a kid, always wants what she sees on TV. All of the pop culture she’s up on as if a pre-teen herself. I have found that we end up having little to talk about anymore.

    I’m really curious where such a sense of entitlement comes from.

    I think Tarn touched on it in her comments. My wife was the first and ONLY granddaughter for a couple of generations, and I think she became something of a princess under that kind of attention. Thus, she merits the attention merely for existing. It’s not like she earns the attention by what she does.

    The kids are hers just as much as yours…

    Not quite. They are hers MORE than mine. The one who launched successfully is the one who acts and thinks a great deal like me. The other three don’t seem to understand how life works -like their mother- which may be why they remain on my couch and not out in the world dealing with their own lives.

    To illustrate my wife’s cluelessness, she entered a Master’s program in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, which has to do with personnel testing to determine who stays and who goes during a downsizing. Until she actually sat in on a meeting -where three people lost their jobs working at a battered women’s shelter her class “re-evaluated”- did she figure out what she had trained to do. Despite earning the degree, she has nothing to offer the likes of McKinsey or other such firms who hire I/O Psychs. None of them would even talk to her. I spent six years of my life on third shift so that I could go without sleep watching the kids while she played in college. I’m a little bitter about that.

    I also did her statistics calculations, because she couldn’t be bothered to learn how. I’m sure I didn’t do them right, but she published her results anyway. no one verified anything in awarding her the degree.

    just what is this life justifying thing that she did just for you?

    She married me. She thinks that is enough. It’s how her mother and grandmother felt as well, so it’s something of a family trait.

    Like

  72. Spawny Get says:

    Hi Blurkel, late night?

    “She married me. She thinks that is enough. It’s how her mother and grandmother felt as well, so it’s something of a family trait.”

    Yeah, I had a similar experience, in some ways at least.

    My wife was fine with me as a housemate and fiance, but I warned her from the start not to be like her mother because I was not like her father. He felt sooooo lucky to have his wife he super pedestalised her. She ran everything despite him being much smarter that her. She made crap decision after crap decision. He was her enabler and financial sponsor. I’m sure she’s worked him to death by now. If I were still part of the family she’d be working on me as substitute with my wife alternating between being her collaborator/foe depending on where she saw her interests on any particular issue.

    I’m hypothesising somewhat, but I think getting married was supposed to change me into him. Oops. She did turn into her mother despite my warnings, I did not change into her father. The only real change in me was to decide that never again would anyone else be deciding my happiness. Given how society sees men as tools to be used, abused and discarded, I think that it’s a wise attitude for anyone outside the herd.

    The monkey see, monkey do behaviour in human beings is much stronger that most people believe, I think.

    Liked by 2 people

  73. Liz says:

    ” I spent six years of my life on third shift so that I could go without sleep watching the kids while she played in college. I’m a little bitter about that.”

    I’ll bet. Damn, that sucks, blurkel. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  74. Liz says:

    She sounds like she needs some sort of schedule.
    Have you ever considered giving her a task list (like a ‘honey do’ list?). Just a short list…’when I’m at work today, this is what I want to see done’ and so forth. It might surprise her at first, but it might actually give her some positive direction.

    Like

  75. Cill says:

    Blurkel, your children are a main reason for your staying in the marriage. From what I remember, you have at least one son who has learned well from observing you and your wife. He shows signs that he will avoid such relationships in his own life.

    Please accept my respect. I know from my own life that “thoughts of support” do count, even when they come from strangers far across the sea.

    Again, I’m with you brother blurkel. Remember that.

    Liked by 3 people

  76. Cill says:

    Spawny at at 10:39 am: “The only real change in me was to decide that never again would anyone else be deciding my happiness.”

    Good onya, mate. I wanna hear you talk about dams 😉

    Like

  77. Spawny Get says:

    meesa no typey-typey much today. meesa knackered

    yousa wanna talka jibby-jabby yousa jussa neesa loginsa google…sa

    Like

  78. Cill says:

    You look knackered mate. Your left eyebrow droops with fatigue.Your pince nez reflect the state of your mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  79. Yoda says:

    meesa no typey-typey much today. meesa knackered

    Jar Jar banned from here he is?

    Liked by 1 person

  80. blurkel says:

    Hi Blurkel, late night?

    No, Spawny. My day begins in the wee hours, about the time that the midnight chimes cease resonating.

    He felt sooooo lucky to have his wife he super pedestalised her.

    Is this not the standard we men of the Western World are expected to pursue in our relationships? It implies that we’re lucky any woman saw enough potential in us to risk “the best years of her life” in order for the women to culture their future through us. Few men of my acquaintance were raised to be self-supporting, and many of the rest had subtle incompetencies imposed on them by their mothers in order to facilitate “needing” a woman. And women complain about the patriarchy, when it’s really the matriarchy which in in charge of society by ensuring men can’t take total control!

    She ran everything despite him being much smarter that her.

    I was told by a man once that he and his wife had agreed to divide the issues of life each controlled. He worried about the universe, about politics, about the economy, etc. She worried about the little things: where they lived, where the kids went to school, what they ate, getting the bills paid, etc. When the average work day was 12 hours or more, in many ways this made some sense. Not so much now, IMHO.

    I think getting married was supposed to change me into him.

    It goes back even further: The Christian Bible. Think of how quickly Yusuf disappears from the texts. He served his purpose of providing for Yeshua into early adulthood, then he’s gone. Not even an epitaph! Jimmie Hoffa got more!

    She did turn into her mother…

    The vast majority do! We men let them get away with this far too often. I advise my sons to pay attention to the mother of any girl who interests them, for she is the model the girl will follow as she ages.

    The only real change in me was to decide that never again would anyone else be deciding my happiness.

    As you should. Having to work for a living tends to beat happiness out of men, and women once were expected to restore that missing attribute. But women weren’t trained to provide that any more than men were trained how to care for wives. People either worked it out or split up.

    Today, too many women couldn’t care less about the welfare of their men. They don’t think about what they do and say, nor do they observe the effect they have on their men. Thus, men have little incentive to work on a relationship as women expect them to do since all it leads to is more abuse.

    Given how society sees men as tools to be used, abused and discarded, I think that it’s a wise attitude for anyone outside the herd.

    I’d change “attitude” for “Knowledge”, for it isn’t just about happiness.

    Liked by 4 people

  81. blurkel says:

    @ Liz

    She sounds like she needs some sort of schedule.

    She does have a job. She’s a teacher’s aide and works the school schedule. They just went back into session today.

    Have you ever considered giving her a task list (like a ‘honey do’ list?). Just a short list…’when I’m at work today, this is what I want to see done’ and so forth. It might surprise her at first, but it might actually give her some positive direction.

    I would, but I’m not the king of my castle. No adult male in her recent ancestry had any power under his own roof. I have a small amount, which I save for when no other option is possible. That way, I don’t spend my off-hours fighting. I have had MORE than my share of THAT over the years!

    Thanks anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  82. Tarnished says:

    “Having to work for a living tends to beat happiness out of men, and women once were expected to restore that missing attribute.”

    Which is all well and good and awesome…in this way I suppose I’m undertaking the “female role” since I do my best to comfort my love when he is tired of work. It is good to be his rock when he needs it.

    But then the question is why don’t men enjoy the jobs they have? I have my off days every now and then, but 95% of the time I adore my job. It is how I make my living and pay my bills, but I’d never stay at a place that was actually making me unhappy or “beating the happiness” from me. Why would anyone do this to themselves?

    Like

  83. blurkel says:

    More @ Liz:

    I wonder what’s wrong with her?

    Depression over her parents’ divorcing and being her grandmother’s princess. I suspect also that the divide between us doesn’t help any, but I have little incentive to build another bridge only to watch it get burned.

    Like

  84. blurkel says:

    Well, Tarn, we’re off to the races!

    “Having to work for a living tends to beat happiness out of men, and women once were expected to restore that missing attribute.”

    Which is all well and good and awesome…in this way I suppose I’m undertaking the “female role” since I do my best to comfort my love when he is tired of work. It is good to be his rock when he needs it.

    I’m sure he is yours when you need it?

    But then the question is why don’t men enjoy the jobs they have?

    Look at popular male fantasies: warrior, sports hero, billionaire, rock star/rapper, etc. Few men ever achieve this dream. We end up settling for the best job we can get when the need exceeds the dream.

    I have my off days every now and then, but 95% of the time I adore my job.

    As do I. It took me some years to find it. But even if I had other job options right now, I’d have to very carefully evaluate any change.

    It is how I make my living and pay my bills, but I’d never stay at a place that was actually making me unhappy or “beating the happiness” from me.

    As you only support yourself financially, you have more freedom to move than most do. Don’t give that up lightly!

    Why would anyone do this to themselves?

    Usually the kids are arriving and their mother insists.

    Like

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