This discussion is for women who believe themselves to be good marriage material (and hopefully you are), but are having a difficult time finding a quality man. One of the biggest reasons that you face this problem was explained here. It is difficult for men to easily see the quality that might be in a woman. This combined with the fact that there are so few fine women out there makes the search costs for men (both in terms of time and money) very high.
Your goal is to reduce these search costs. WIth respect to online dating, this means that your profile must be tuned such that a fine man looking for a good woman will give it a second look. The profile must also be constructed in a way such that it will not draw too much attention from moderators (mostly women) and other female posters.
All approaches here depend of subtlety. Men do not like women that are too forward, and furthermore you do not want to draw too much attention to yourself. Most every site has a place where you can write some prose about yourself. This area is key. You want to write about your strong points that might appeal to a marriage minded man. There are many possible attributes to play up here, but the themes of loyalty, hearth and home normally work well (especially loyalty, though not clingy). Plus you should add in a modest sense of playfulness. Don’t add too much, or you will scare him off. Do not talk about degrees or career in your prose; leave that for the “database” section where you list your age and stuff.
If you have had a divorce, you might right to address that right up front. The reason that you might want to do that is because most men are going to see divorce and assume that the wife was the problem. Believe me, fellas really do assume this. “Next” he might say. Probably you were at least part of the problem. Suggest that you have learned, etc, etc. Hopefully you have. Make it legitimate, but don’t spread it too thick. In the end, it will work better with the prospective reader of your profile when you take more responsibility. Short answer — before he invests in you, he wants to calculate the odds. And if you give him no real data to base that on other than divorced, he will assume the worst. This is why, as cruel as it might sound, many marriage minded men gravitate to the profiles of widows. This is a big hump that you must get over, do it with grace.
Most men, even if they have not thought about it, dislike feminism. Even fellas that profess to like it, often really don’t. Why not take advantage of this fact? One could subtly denounce feminist ideas in a playful manner. Guys can pick up on this and it will really garner their attention. Fortunately, feminism with all its internal contradictions and general silliness is rather an easy target. Which means less work for you.
Employing this approach might appear to be a risk. But “playing it safe” with a profile that looks like so many other profiles will probably not get it done. If you are a bit cautious, employ these ideas on just one of the many dating sites that you might be using. Ease yourself into it slowly.
Hopefully you are a quality woman, and you will have good luck.
Well Fuzzie Bear, here is something that might cheer you up. Go back home, my Bear friend.