Hypergamy Unleashed — Tingles Uber Alles


[ Spawny Get’s update 24th Feb ’15 — Not sure that today’s pingback went to the right post.  Here’s Farm Boy’s post Red Pill Classroom — Let’s Just Be Friends This post is good too though ]

—original—

Note that the following does not apply in full to every modern womanThere are Shades of Gray.

What are tingles?  They are the sexually based thrill that a women gets when she interacts with, and better yet, eventually submits to a dominant man.  So what is a dominant man.  It varies from woman to woman.  A functional definition is “whatever mixture of looks, height, strength, clever conversation, confidence, facial stubble, potential for violence, and status that are enough to trigger the tingles”.  In the olden days, such feelings were discouraged in women.  Or so I have a vague memory of.  Perhaps a reader could comment on this.

Tingles must be just an awesome feeling.   Perhaps a woman could chime in here also.  One can see the lengths that women will go to to obtain them.  One can see all that they sacrifice to create an environment where they are easily obtained.  Though to be fair, most women do not really understand the cost and sacrifice.  That is partly what the “hypergamy unleashed” series is about; to chronicle this.  This lack of understanding could due to their denial that they really do desire tingles.  But their actions speak otherwise.  One of the best examples is to peruse any Cosmo edition.  Invariably, there is an article on “Ten Ways to Drive Him Mad in Bed”.  The implied subtext is that she wants the tingles of a dominate man, and the best way to get them repeatedly is to make sure that he is satisfied (or so women believe).  Women want tingles, and they want a steady supply of them.  This is a luxury that a wealthy society can undoubtably afford.  And women did demand this luxury.

With societal wealth not an issue, women were in a position to demand an environment conducive to tingle creation.  Women individually, and as a whole always have an inclination to push the limits.  They always want more resources, privileges, etc.  When working together, this is known as the “feminine imperative”.  Women might compete with each other in many contexts, but they surprisingly work well together when working on large issues.  Step One starts with the fact that women are the “gateway to sex”.  This has always been true.  It is the law.  This situation is very powerful one.  One that they can exploit.  One that has been enhanced throughout the years with such things as “marital rape”, affirmative consent, campus kangaroo courts, sexual harassment laws, etc.  Invariable a rape cottage industry has sprung up around this issue.

Step Two was to change the rules such that extra-marital, pre-marital, and EPL sex are to be de-stigmatized, legitimized, and even celebrated.  And women with the rape/sexual harassment laws at their backs get to make the choices about who, when and where.

Step Three is to get the state to step in and free women of the need to please individual (and non-tingle-inducing) men.  Most men are of this category as evidenced by the OKCupid study.  These men in the olden days financed individual women, so other financing options needed to become available to free them of this constraint.  These would include welfare, child support, alimony, divorce theft (for the children of course), and make-work jobs for women.  The ultimate goal is that women are able to select a man for tingles and need not consider any other factor.

There was only one problem left.  The State stepped in to facilitate women and their desire for tingles, but there was one aspect where its ability to intervene was limited.  The difficulty is that for a woman to feel tingles, the man has to be dominant.  This requires a man to approach.  From a woman’s perspective, there are so very many men of the wrong type (non-tingle-inducing) approaching.  These must be rejected and rejected quickly, lest they get any ideas.  This was such an inconvenience.  She must get on with her purpose, the tingles.  This situation is bothersome, but it is the price that women must still pay.

The flip side of the same coin is that much of “dominance” comes from the relative status between the man and the woman.  Women go to the University and get lots of fancy degrees, while modern men are less likely to do so.  Since the University Degree is such a status marker, the typical woman is putting herself at a disadvantage with respect to obtaining a tingle-inducing man.

Why do women crave dominance?  It really comes down to the fact that dominant men are considered to be stronger and consequently have better DNA.  Obtaining this DNA only requires “one squirt”.  Tingles drive women to get that “one squirt”, and to get it “right now”.  But how well is the attributes implied by the DNA suited for civilization?  Often big and strong is useful to society, but less so today than before.  The other attributes of the modern sexy man are not particularly useful.  Yet, they are what women are selecting for.

Robert Oppenheimer, the leader of the scientific effort to build the first nuclear bomb, stated upon the first successful test, “I have become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”

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Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, Gynocentrism, Hypergamy
124 comments on “Hypergamy Unleashed — Tingles Uber Alles
  1. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    In case anyone has forgotten where “Ueber Alles” comes from, here’s a reminder.

    I think the background is from the early days of the invasion of Russia. It has been variously reported that anywhere from three and a half miilion to five million soldiers invaded.

    Like

  2. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    Tingles are frustrating for boys. We don’t have direct control and, yet, they are essential.
    Could that be my motive behind linking the Nazi invasion of Russia?

    Like

  3. Yoda says:

    Tingles are frustrating for boys.

    Boys taught from day one to tingles induce.
    Odd world be this would.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yoda says:

    Induce Tingles or do not.
    There is no try.

    Like

  5. Yoda says:

    Most men induce not.
    Oblivious to the impact of this women are.

    Like

  6. Yoda says:

    State benefits from tingles not.
    Support odd it would be.

    Like

  7. theasdgamer says:

    Mrs. Gamer doesn’t fakk me because she loves my character. Marriage, sure. When I was obese, there was a 5 year drought. No tingles, but lots of character. I didn’t cheat. Mrs. Gamer didn’t wanna fakk me either.

    I lost weight and threatened to take a lover. Mrs. Gamer ended the drought and was severely thirsty. No character, lots of tingles. (Actually, I never took a lover, but she isn’t sure.) Mrs. Gamer is very much a unicorn, but it’s still tingles uber alles with her. She makes sure that I’m the only one who gives her tingles.

    Talking about wanting to fakk someone because of character is a lot of sch31ss. Character with no tingles means the legs stay closed. The wimmenz may lurv and marry Marvin Milquetoast, but he will only get cuddles.

    I am reminded of a woman I danced with–a 10. A brunette who took a church couple with her to watch out for her when she went dancing. Stunning good looks. Very petite. A tenor voice (really kinky). She gave off a massive Ice Queen vibe, but so what? I only wanted to dance with her. Ice Queen was looking for character too, ostensibly.

    We danced and she couldn’t stop complimenting my dancing, both to me and to her wings. I’ve noticed that in some women, this is an indication of tingles. Ice Queen and I chatted and were looking for logistics to dance together some more. Another indication of tingles. Then I woke up and realized what was going on and shut up and sat there stupefied because she was the age of my kids. (I’ve since realized that older age in a man is often a plus rather than a minus to a lot of women.)

    I should mention that very few men ask this woman to dance. She is that beautiful. Merely approaching her shows massive confidence. Sitting and chatting with her shows more.

    Women talk about looks fading, etc., but confidence is the high value, not looks. Obesity may kill tingles, to be sure.

    Like

  8. Spawny Get says:

    It might be ethically in the grey area, but…if all else fails to generate tingles…might the use of cattle-prods provide a route to success? Maybe check out the legal minutiae with a great defence lawyer first.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    To continue with the theme of my first comment, this is us.

    Like

  10. jblondie says:

    “Since the University Degree is such a status marker, the typical woman is putting herself at a disadvantage with respect to obtaining a tingle-inducing man.”

    I hope that’s sarcasm. If it’s not…I think that this sentence is the most sexist thing I’ve read on WP yet. So congrats.

    Like

  11. Spawny Get says:

    Perhaps there is a joint way forward? Shared interests. Women like interior decorating etc. Men like petrol and speed…voila

    for dining room

    lounge

    kid’s playroom

    Self propelled tea-tray

    Like

  12. Tarnished says:

    Hi, jblondie! Glad to see you. 🙂

    I think I can (hopefully) clear this up a bit.
    The fact a woman has a degree from a higher educational institution doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll find men with lesser degrees or no degrees at all to be non-marriage material. But the fact of the matter is that most of the time men and women tend to marry people with similar educations…so male BAs will typically marry female BAs, female PhD holders will marry male PhD holders, etc. Not always, of course, but this is a trend in many censuses.

    The issue we find in the last 10+ years is that men are lagging behind in the educational system. I’m not going to go into the numerous factors behind this as it’s another post unto itself. But if like seeks like, and women with bachelor’s degrees want to marry men with bachelor’s degrees but the ratio is 65:35…Well, we can see a distinct problem. It really doesn’t help that society still believes women should “marry up” and find a guy who has a higher educational level than herself, which could pressure the woman with a BA to seek out a man with, say, a MBA which is an even smaller group.

    Last thing:
    There’s evidence to suggest that a family where the woman earns more than her husband is less happy in comparison to families with a more traditional model. http://nytimes.com/2013/06/02/business/breadwinner-wives-and-nervous-husbands.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

    Nobody here is saying women shouldn’t get a higher education. I myself have a double major Bachelor’s in Business Management and Philosophy, and I even graduated a semester early, lol.
    The post above is one of generalizations and popular trends, which may not apply at an individual level.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Tarnished says:

    Okay, I feel really dumb for asking this, but…what exactly are tingles? What does this word actually reference?

    Sorry for my naïveté.

    [SG – as a late pressie I added sprinkles. Festive humbug to us all]

    Like

  14. Yoda says:

    But the fact of the matter is that most of the time men and women tend to marry people with similar educations

    To “marry up” women really do want.
    Hypergamy so it does make.
    Compromise “similarity” is.

    Like

  15. Yoda says:

    what exactly are tingles?

    “Butterflies” in the presence of a perceived dominant man they are.

    Like

  16. Yoda says:

    The post above is one of generalizations and popular trends, which may not apply at an individual level.

    Good caveat this is.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Tarnished says:

    Yoda,
    Thanks. It seems creating caveats are my specialty. 😉

    Re: tingles
    Hmmm. Alright, so the feeling you get right before having sex?
    Love + elation + desire + physical arousal + anticipation?

    Like

  18. theasdgamer says:

    @ yoda

    tarn: what exactly are tingles?

    yogurt: “Butterflies” in the presence of a perceived dominant man they are.

    “Tingles” can either mean strong sexual desire for a particular man or increased sexual desire for a particular man. “Tingles” is shorthand for “vagina tingles”. Strictly speaking, of course, the vaj lubes when a woman is aroused rather than tingles. (You need to learn to speak INTJ. hah)

    A woman may lube when merely thinking about a particular man. His presence is not required.

    Like

  19. Padawan says:

    Tingles can come from a recovering bee-string so… a bear takes his she-bear out looking for a hive (by Padawan, Poet Laureate 2014 – ?)

    When you go down to the woods today
    She’ll get a big surprise
    When she bends over to look at the bees
    She wont believe her eyes
    For every bee that ever there was
    Will sting her all over because because
    You gave her a subtle bump with your knee
    Which toppled her into the hole in the tree
    Because because…
    Tomorrow’s the day she’ll be starting to get her t-i-i-i-ngles!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Tarnished says:

    Meh…I’m “lubed” all the time. It’s slightly annoying actually. Tingles makes sense if you’re talking about having an erection though. At least *that* only happens when I’m aroused.

    Like

  21. Yoda says:

    To know that we needed not.

    Like

  22. Tarnished says:

    Mea culpa, Yoda.
    I just thought that saying “vaj lubes” is a stable indicator of “tingles” was weird, anatomically speaking.

    Also, it sounds like a treatment you’d perform on a car. Lol.

    Sigh…back to work.

    Like

  23. jblondie says:

    Your explanation was perfect. However, the above above statement does not represent any statistics and makes it sound as if women should forgo working on degrees in order to find a husband. Maybe that wasn’t the point, but it sure sounded like it.

    I think it would be important to note that PROBABLY…just educated guessing so no real backing…but wouldn’t it make sense that people who are paired together with similar educations MET one another while obtaining those degrees? So in the future women may hold all the degrees (which won’t happen) but they’ll have to turn to other ways to meet their future partner and vise versa.

    Like

  24. Spawny Get says:

    “makes it sound as if women should forgo working on degrees in order to find a husband.”

    ‘should’ is putting it too strongly, I think.

    It is being noted that women want to marry up in money, education and status (‘hypergamy’ women want the best sperm for their eggs – naturally). There are now two women for every man at uni. Even if every male grad married a female grad (and we men don’t require that, generally speaking, we will ‘marry down’ for an attractive woman) only half of female grads are going to be able to ‘marry up’.

    The MRS degree (women using uni to bag a man) is going to look like a dodgy strategy. I’ve heard of institutions actually working to get more men in because the female students didn’t like the shortage of men(!). Not that the interests of men mattered, you understand, save for the interests of women being harmed. But this partnering up problem is only due to women’s instincts for hypergamy. It’s not the instincts of males that will cause the issues, it’s those of women.

    Now personally I find the idea that all degrees are equal to be laughable. The degrees in soft subjects that only qualify their grads to work as baristas should not have any esteem, in my opinion. They’re out of control should-be-hobbies that wind up with a huge debt burden, A debt burdon that men are going to not like seeing in their prospective partners.

    Many men are suspicious that women with huge debt burdons expect to marry up to a man that will be paying her debt off while she takes time out for kids (or just flat give up working). men are not keen on that prospect…bizarre as that may seem.

    So, maybe, women should be careful how much debt they rack up for what degree. Because men will increasingly take a pass on a 30 y.o. woman with 10s or 100s of thousands of dollars in debt for a MA in something/victim-studies who only works as a barista part time. Who is looking to mutualise her debt and retire in a few years.

    Just an opinion.

    (and welcome. I asked Tarn to manage the release of your comment so as to ease your introduction to the manosphere – this is a male site in tone, though you are more than welcome to partake on those terms. male tone means unusually direct wording of concepts usually ignored by polite society and no white knighting. But you are welcome.)

    Like

  25. Spawny Get says:

    “but they’ll have to turn to other ways to meet their future partner and vise versa.”

    but…female grads want male grads and there are not enough men with degrees to sate the female grad predatory herd.

    and men are, historically speaking, perfectly happly to marry outside of the female grad market, assuming they’re interested in marriage at all…but baby steps 😉 The tone may be direct, but it’s not meant to be unwelcoming.

    Like

  26. Tarnished says:

    “So, maybe, women should be careful how much debt they rack up for what degree.”

    Or at least acknowledge that said debt is completely their own responsibility to pay off, even after marriage. Don’t think many men would disagree with this proposal.

    Like

  27. Spawny Get says:

    They wouldn’t disagree with the principle, but the principle has nothing whatsoever to do with the legal realities.

    If/when (50% divorce rate, whatever) she decides later (after a kid or two) that she now hates him and it’s his fault so he should make the debt mutual in the divorce finances…he’s fucked. Game Over Man, Game Over.

    Clearly I don’t think he should be marrying at all, but even if he’s that dumb, he should be taking her debt level (and financial accuity) into account. Don’t accept a prospective wife with debt because you cannot force her to work once you’re married and any word she gives is legally worthless. With a couple of kids and family court…he takes the hit entirely in all liklihood.

    Like

  28. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    An additional pitfall with the ‘my debt, my responsibility’ gambit is that she then has effective, plausibly deniable veto power over your finances. Sure, we should totally make those investments, but not before my debt’s paid off. I’ll get around to it eventually.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    Shush, Spawny… I’m lurking.

    Poorly. 😉

    Like

  30. Spawny Get says:

    I saw nothing…

    Like

  31. Spawny Get says:

    Interesting find, Yoda. So the effects are biting…

    Like

  32. blurkel says:

    @farmboy3646 [auto naming in effect???]

    “In the olden days, such feelings were discouraged in women. Or so I have a vague memory of. Perhaps a reader could comment on this.”

    Such tingles tended to happen in younger women of my experience. I recall one very precocious 15-year-old who acted as a music stand for me during a recording session. I couldn’t accept the opportunity to explore her further, as I was well over 18 by then, but I sure wished at the time that I could have! She later decided upon passing 18 that she was gay, and gave me the most withering look when I dared to say hi to her at a later date.

    Because younger women tend to experience tingles, the elder women would discourage pursuing resolution of those tingles. After all, why would a guy want to marry a woman to have her put out if he already got some?

    “…she wants the tingles of a [dominant] man, and the best way to get them repeatedly is to make sure that he is satisfied (or so women believe).”

    AS IF! Following this advice would actually be beneficial to the goal of a relationship, but “doing things for him” has become strongly discouraged. Very un-PC, you know! He does for her, and then he does for her. IF he does a good job, she MIGHT deign to give him a little something he’d like.

    I agree with most of the rest of the post.

    Like

  33. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Yoda,
    33.8 million guys who will never have a chance at finding a wife? Who’s purpose in life is to care for their parents in their dotage? Who’s going to care for them?
    This not going to end well.
    To add to that, there are a good number of “leftover women” in Chinese cities. They will never marry and that will only exacerbate the problem.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Alana says:

    Spawny: “The degrees in soft subjects that only qualify their grads to work as baristas should not have any esteem, in my opinion. ”

    Ahem, what are ‘soft’ subjects? :p :p

    Like

  35. Spawny Get says:

    Victim Studies would be a great start. ‘ologies a promising field.

    If the likely career path following the degree is barista…I question the worth of the degree.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Alana says:

    Ahh ok I understand, Spawny. Actually I’d never even heard of ‘victim studies’ till u mentioned it.

    Thanks for the video! I’m watching it now. I never knew that the politician Wendy Davis divorced her husband the day after he finished paying her student loans…Wow.

    [SG – yeah, classy. there are other things too]

    Happy New Year 🙂

    [SG – Indeedy. Same to you Young Padawan 😉 ]

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Spawny Get says:

    The reasons I got into this subject:

    1) women saddled with huge debt are doing themselves no favours in the partnering up marketplace. No man with any red-pill will marry a woman and mutualise her debt. Even if they don’t marry, she is unlikely to be able to pay her fair share in any activity because she’s chained to a wrecking ball of debt. She’s dead weight in many areas of shared life. She is unlikely to have picked a guy with debt (unless his career prospects are sky high) so this is not a ‘men do it too‘ scenario. (a favourite emo-non-argument from women)

    2) women with worthless (employment prospects-wise) degrees in soft subjects feel entitled to men with degrees. Once they realise the true value of the victim studies degrees they might find it easier to match their partner requirements entitlements to their realistic options. Me pointing this out might actually help women (once their feelz-badz fade).

    3) the MRS degree, if this is the main reason a woman is looking to go to college; it’s to acquire a personal provider pack horse man, then she might wish to reconsider. The odds are increasingly against this working out and many men don’t care about their partner having a soft soap degree anyway. Indeed it might be regarded with a jaundiced eye because…

    4) many victim-studies degrees actually poison women with feminism (misandry / man hate). Believe it or not ladies, men aren’t attracted to bitches that basically hate them for their existance and their genitalia (but want a personal provider pack mule and a willy and sperm). Of course if you actually want to marry a mangina / male feminist? you go gurl.

    5) I know this might not go down well with teh laydeez, but most men don’t see their potential partner’s exciting, empowered sexual history as a plus. The divorce stats confirm that marrying a virgin woman does increase the odds of the marriage working. Is this down to bonding ability being lost in women due to multiple past partners, or the potential for “mehh – I’ve had better” comparisons in her mind? dunno, but the effect on divorce rates is measurable and real. Men who know this may not find the fact that you spent 4 years in a sexually free hook-up fest society (to get a worthless degree and debt) a plus in a partner. Now fembotz might well squeal about this being unfayur, but you ladies might wish to consider if you’re interests are best served by their bullshit theories about how men ought to feel, OR how men actually are usually hard-wired to feel about sexual history and the red-pill informing them of increased N => increased bonding issues and divorce risk. Fembotz do not have your interests at heart, they have feminism’s interests at heart – the two are different. Men are not the same as women with willies, we are differently wired.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Alana says:

    I see what u mean. In the US in particular, college fees and expenses have gotten really high, from what I’ve heard, although there are cheaper state universities. I’m not sure how much American students would have to pay–less than foreignors, because they’re eligible for grants, but it can still get v costly.

    I was tempted to do my studies in the US/UK like many of my friends, but I knew that (once accommodation was included), I was told that i’d be facing a bill of about SG$200k (about $150k US), maybe a bit more for the US and a bit less for the UK. Actually my parents were pushing me to go and said they’d pay for it and I could pay it back when I was financially sound, but from a practicfal POV I knew it didn’t make sense. No matter what degree I got, I wasn’t really intending to go into a high-stress highly-paid career path…so I’m studying locally, and with govt subsidies my psychologydegree will cost about SG$25k (US$20k), much more affordable. 🙂

    I feel kinda bad for the US students because their college fees are rising and supposedly the highest in the world, but that’s the way it is now, and if your degree costs hundreds of thousands of dollars, it makes no sense to get one to study a ‘soft’ subject, as u say. The biggest university in Singapore is the National University of Singapore (NUS), and it’s highly-ranked globally, and a 4-year degree there costs about US$20k for residents, (and about US$40k for foreignors), excluding grants etc. Very reasonably-priced compared to the US fees.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Alana says:

    My older brother had a v fun time in university. He did a 4-yr degree at a top San Fransisco university in some type of engineering (I forgot which) and they’re allowed to do FORTY % of their credits in electives–like ballroom dancing. And he went on scholarship. >.<

    My sister studied law in London, and as u probably know, in the UK universities their final result is based entirely on the final exams, instead of continual assessment thruout the 3 or 4 years. (The Brit system is hardcore!!) She was a nervous wreck in her final semester…That's why I didn't dare study in the UK, although it's cheaper than the US. 😮

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Liz says:

    I paid almost nothing for my education (any of them, three degrees). I had scholarships, and the last one (the RN) was entirely paid for by the state I was in.
    A lot of people with psychology degrees were in my nursing program, Alana, it’s not a very marketable degree over here.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Liz says:

    “My older brother had a v fun time in university. He did a 4-yr degree at a top San Fransisco university in some type of engineering (I forgot which) and they’re allowed to do FORTY % of their credits in electives–like ballroom dancing. And he went on scholarship.

    Wow, really? The engineering program at the University of Florida was a five year program, and there were almost no “fun” electives at all.

    Like

  42. Alana says:

    @Liz: Good for u for getting scholarships. But I think college fees have gone up over the years while grants might have gone down overall (not sure about that part), hence the ballooning college debt problem in the US.

    There are too many pple who somehow don’t ask themselves “is paying $XYZ for my degree worth it? Can I pay it back?” They assume someone else will pick up the bill, if things get difficult.

    For psychology, over here it’s the area of organisational psychology which is hiring many grads, for sectors like the armed forces, the prison system and one more which I forgot. My sis-in-law worked in org psych in the armed forces for many years, which is one reason I got interested…I’m also interested in working in PR, but then I hate attending glam events.

    But actually over here, I see many grads who work in an area that’s totally unrelated to their degree. History grads in investment banking is something I’ve seen a few times, for eg. :p

    Like

  43. Liz says:

    Just rereading the above, my post sounds a bit terser than I’d intended.
    Just hope you’re looking at future options when picking a degree, Alana. That’s a heck of a lot of energy and time investment, even if it isn’t very expensive. Hope you have something lined up/an idea of what you’re going to do after you’ve finished school.

    Like

  44. Liz says:

    Heh, we posted at the same time. 🙂

    Like

  45. Tarnished says:

    @Spawny

    Some questions, not because I disagree, but because I don’t know:

    1.
    A. How is she able to pick a guy with no debt? Are you saying women go after older men who’ve already paid it off, or that women with degrees are picking men in trade jobs (aka no college debt since there was no college)?
    B. I’ll wholeheartedly agree that having a more advanced degree eats up a ton of your money. I have a Bachelor’s in Business (which has actually helped me in daily work), but have wittled the loan it down to about $5k and have no other debt. My FwB on the other hand has over $30k left to pay on his Master’s…which he isn’t even using right now. He also doesn’t own his car yet, and has cc debt to deal with.
    Lol, why do you think I pay for our outings? 😛

    2. Yup.

    3. Yup again. At a 2:1 or sometimes 3:1 female to male ratio at colleges, they’d have to either be lucky…or be lesbian.

    4. Si, senor.

    5. If both partners are virgins there’s virtually no chance of divorce…is this due to religious upbringing that frowns on marital separation, or because neither the man or woman has “had more/better” and are thus able to grow together?
    From what I can tell based on what I heard from women while in college and just in topic-related conversations, it’s more of a “I love him…but I’m not *in* love with him”. As oxytocin is a bonding chemical (but not a lust chemical) this makes sense…after all, male brains are flooded with oxytocin after sex just as female brains are, but rarely are they able to sacrifice a marriage for personal happiness…in fact, men suffer more mentally and emotionally during divorces and separations than their female counterparts. So it would seem that although the male and female brains both react to oxytocin, it affects men more. This could be due to the fact that women have a small supply of oxytocin in their brains regardless (probably an evolutionary adaptation for childrearing)…maybe women are just more tolerant of it, and thus can shake off it’s effects easier?

    My own personal bias is 10+ partners is too many, whether you’re male or female. This may sound harsh, especially as my FwB has had 12 partners before me, but I’m willing to cut him some slack since 2 of those were college ONS. Every other one was during a relationship, and everyone makes mistakes in their youth. Blurkel asked before if knowing about my FwB previous partners upset me…the answer is still no, especially as our sexual repertoire is larger than anything he did with them. But if he admitted to having 17? 20? 23? I’d still love him, but knowing he’d been such a slut would be a thorn in my feelings for him.
    Contrast this to how he is, where he believes both sexes should have as many partners as they want…and is still continuously puzzled by the fact I am happy with “just” him.

    Interesting links:
    http://healthland.time.com/2013/11/27/how-oxytocin-makes-men-almost-monogamous/

    http://www.americanscientist.org/issues/pub/high-on-fidelity

    http://www.nature.com/npp/journal/v34/n6/full/npp2008154a.html

    Like

  46. Alana says:

    “The engineering program at the University of Florida was a five year program, and there were almost no “fun” electives at all.” That sounds horrible. Lol! But it’s a serious degree. Spawny would never consider That soft. 🙂

    My brother’s engineering degree was from Stanford, which after all is in California. :p He’s quite alot older than me and graduated around 2000, though, so the policies may have changed a bit. But I’m sure it’s still a much more relaxed degree than the UoF one u mentioned. When I say ‘electives’, I mean non-major modules, not that all 40% were ballroom dancing and wind-surfing. :p

    In Singapore universities, we don’t get many ‘fun’ modules either. 😦 In fact, we don’t even get many modules which aren’t of our majors. 😦

    Like

  47. Spawny Get says:

    Yeah, psychology is an odd case. Employment wise it’s not great, but…isn’t psychology part of what makes the manosphere so interesting? To me at least. I understand people studying a subject that interests them (that’s what I did. Steam and clockwork powered computing) and agree with them doing it…as long as they balance the cost and career implications with that interest. I agree with your decisions Young Padawan. On that cost basis and in that culture and with your planned life path, I can see that working out for you.

    Like

  48. Alana says:

    “my post sounds a bit terser than I’d intended”. It’s ok, Liz, I know u’re an INTJ haha. I wasn’t offended.

    “Just hope you’re looking at future options when picking a degree, Alana. That’s a heck of a lot of energy and time investment, even if it isn’t very expensive.”
    Yup I was actually trying to be practical. That’s one benefit that came from my having left uni back when I attended right after high school, and only returning later. U gather some life experience and get a clearer idea of what path u wanna take.

    Psychology is actually one of the more technical and practically-useful among the fields that INFPs tend to do well in. I really could never do a science/math type of degree, my brain just shuts off. :p

    Like

  49. Alana says:

    “On that cost basis and in that culture and with your planned life path, I can see that working out for you.”

    I hope so, Spawny, too late to switch now! :p Like I said, it was already an attempt at being practical. If I really went for exactly what interested me most, I’d be studying philosophy or English Lit or history, the pure humanities. :p But as Liz says, there is a lot of time and effort expended to get a degree, even an inexpensive one, and one has to be practical. I just read philosophy in my spare time. :p

    Liked by 1 person

  50. Yoda says:

    How is she able to pick a guy with no debt?

    Men realize that a prince they are not.
    Rack up a big debt for others to pay an option not

    Liked by 2 people

  51. Liz says:

    Sounds like you have a solid, practical plan, Alana. 🙂

    I feel badly for young people just starting out these days. I don’t see the economy improving anytime in the near future, and buying power is going down with escalating debt obligatins. I’m quite worried about my sons…in fact, won’t be long before our oldest starts college. He’s 16. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  52. Alana says:

    Aw, I really don’t think u need to worry too much about ur sons, but I know parents will always worry about their kids. Still, your kids have grown up in a stable 2-parent home, and have likely inherited brains and good values.

    There’s still at least 5-6 years b4 ur oldest son looks for a job, things may improve by then, but then again the economic slump has lasted pretty long. I guess one thing u could do is make sure ur son doesn’t pick a ‘soft’ degree, as Spawny says. :p

    Actually I think one main danger for young pple from ‘good’ comfortable backgrounds like your sons is that sometimes they can be complacent and lack the hunger to work hard and excel. I myself passed thru such a stage in late teens/early 20s. But I think with your husband’s military sorta background, it’s less likely that he’ll let your sons become too ‘soft’.

    Like

  53. Alana says:

    Oh, Happy New Year’s Eve/ Happy New Year, Liz 🙂

    Like

  54. Spawny Get says:

    I’m very glad that I don’t have sons (or daughters) that I’d need to help guide. I’m with Liz. I’m not sure what university is worth these days. I’d be outraged if i were paying to do compulsory bullshit indoctrination in feminism as a techie student. Unca Spawny is not gifted in the not-calling-out-bullshit-when-he-hears-it-stakes. I can only imagine your shock at hearing that.

    Alana’s life plan in her society is probably much enhanced by a degree. I was referring to both the price in cash terms paid, and the local society’s view of the value of a degree (for work and for marriage). My guess is she’s paying a lot less for a degree that might well offer more benefits in her country than in the States.

    Liked by 1 person

  55. Spawny Get says:

    Tarn the Unicorn,

    1) men preparing for marriage after graduation are rumoured to be more frugal than their female analogues. They are expected to be financially stable, in a career, have some savings (or at least minimal debt) (according to ‘guyland’ the book and what-the-fcuk-is-up-with-manchildren.tradcon.com). Women expect to rock their twenties, have fabulous experiences overseas, nice condo and leased car etc and…just turn up ready to marry in their early thirties (according to manosphere legend). YMDV (Your Mileage Does Vary). Men are supposed to bring resources to the marriage market, women just expect to bring their vajayjay.

    5) the N effect occurs in men, but in a much weakened form according to stats. N is a much bigger issue in women for whatever reason it occurs. And women initiate more divorces, so their immediate day-to-day happiness is clearly a bigger issue. SocialPathologist (iirc) churned the numbers and produced the stats (I have linked to it before).

    Many PUAs, and men in general, talk about clinginess of virgins when deflowered. Is this not a sign that it is indeed psychologically important to women? The clinginess isn’t a sign of weakness IMHO it’s a sign of a biological mechanism of bonding. The rumour is that each successive time the bonding to a mate is broken, the ability to bond to their next mate reduces. This is how feminism destroys marriageability in women by encouraging them to have sex like men. Women are not like men with vajayjays. They don’t react to a bit of promiscuity in the same way.

    Now hands up, I’m not going to produce closely referenced arguments on this subject (if you think about it, I rarely do) but I think that the material is out there for those that wish to seek it. Fembotz are going to reject what I say due to badfeelz and cannot be reasoned with anyway – that’s why I don’t bother with ‘proper’ research with references when addressing them. Reason, logic and facts are irrelevant when debating fembotz…so why even bother? When addressing red-pillish guyzngurls I expect them to look into themselves, or ask reasoned questions (but I am busy cooking and socialising today).

    All of that was speaking in generalistions. Not being a virgin doesn’t mean any woman reading this is broken. I am telling men considering pairing up for the long term that her N is something to consider. It may or may not be a deal breaker for you. TBH a) you might be hard pressed to find a virgin anyway. b) don’t get frigging married! what are you? crazy?

    Liked by 2 people

  56. Tarnished says:

    @Spawny and Yoda

    I realize that men know they aren’t princes. My question was one of if X, then why not Y. Namely, if a 24 yr old woman has $30k in student loans from College A and dates a 24 yr old man from College B…wouldn’t he also have a similar amount of debt?

    But Spawny answered this question by pointing out men are generally more frugal and have probably been working/saving while attending college whereas many women don’t.

    [SG – sorry, I wasn’t clear enough. I meant by the time men and women hit the settley down years (late twenties and early thirties)]

    A person’s N is always such an interesting topic for me. Only having an N of 1 is alternatively shamed and praised. On one hand I’m considered prudish or perhaps even sex-negative and some in the manosphere have insinuated that I feel I’m “too good” for a regular man.
    On the other, I’m lauded for my “determination” in keeping my N low and praised for being good marriage material…which makes me uncomfortable, since that’s NOT the reason I haven’t slept around.

    Can’t we all just agree that having lots of sex with large numbers of partners is generally bad for everyone? It causes lack of bonding (to various degrees), heightens your risk of STDs, can result in unplanned pregnancies, and reduces our respect for sex as a whole. I’m not trying to shame anyone for their N, but I think everyone should be aware of the mental, emotional, and physical consequences that higher Ns naturally bring.

    “Don’t get friggin married” = best piece of advice ever.

    Like

  57. Spawny Get says:

    I agree with what you say regarding N. In that it’s not a badge of honour to have slept around afaiac.

    In a way that I don’t value personally, it is a kind of reflection of a guy’s ability to attract women, while also a reflection that maybe he’s eagerness to stick his gentleman’s sausage into any available fairy cave is over cooked in his set of motivations and system of values. Maybe his values aren’t what a good girl might prefer in a LTR partner.

    For a woman it’s just a matter of how many times she went looking for new wibbledy-wand to boink. No actual skill in targeting required.

    But those opinions of mine are really separate from the fact that the divorce stats analyses show differences in the effect on divorce rates between men and women’s N at marriage. It’s a much stronger effect in women – that’s a statistically verified fact.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. Yoda says:

    Namely, if a 24 yr old woman has $30k in student loans from College A and dates a 24 yr old man from College B…wouldn’t he also have a similar amount of debt?

    True this may be not.
    24 yr old niece Yoda has.
    Spend with abandon she does.
    Two years getting pre-reqs for grad school she did.
    Fancy private grad school she will attend.
    More student loans she will get.
    Expect Daddy to pay it off she will.
    For 800 years he will be paying.

    Liked by 2 people

  59. Tarnished says:

    Oh, absolutely. I’ve no idea the exact reasons for it (you mentioned 2 good possibilities above) but high N is more of an issue for those looking for marriage. Obviously it doesn’t matter for MGTOWs, PUAs, or those who don’t require more than FwB relationships. It really hurts tradcons though, and any children born to unstable arrangements. People need to be aware.

    What you said above about men who look at their ability to pull in lots of partners is precisely how I think of it. Women who try to do the same are attempting to emulate a broken system.

    What confuses me is why modern culture glorifies such things. Is it truly preferable to have mediocre sex with 30 partners who may not give a damn about your body/desires, instead of incredibly hot sex with 1 man or woman who actually cares if you are satisfied? Why eat 15 helpings of McDonald’s when a single steak and potato dinner will be far more enjoyable?

    Liked by 1 person

  60. Yoda says:

    Can’t we all just agree that having lots of sex with large numbers of partners is generally bad for everyone?

    For maximal tingle generation it is not

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Yoda says:

    What confuses me is why modern culture glorifies such things.

    Humans stupid they are.
    Afford it they believe they can.

    Liked by 1 person

  62. Tarnished says:

    “Humans stupid they are.”

    I wish you were wrong…

    Like

  63. Yoda says:

    Incredibly hot sex with 1 man or woman who actually cares if you are satisfied?

    Caring generates tingles not.
    Washboard abs a better indicator it is.

    Like

  64. Spawny Get says:

    “Women who try to do the same are attempting to emulate a broken system.”

    Projection by women onto men seems to be a very common thing to see, very weird. They seem to be convinced that men are motivated in exactly the same way they are. They also seem to believe that the fact they are not men means they have the right to engage in the very worst behaviour of the extremes of the male population.

    Like

  65. Yoda says:

    Projection by women onto men seems to be a very common thing to see, very weird

    Laziness on their part it is.
    Correct they need not be.
    Men have such leeway not.

    Liked by 1 person

  66. Tarnished says:

    Wrong type of projection, but it’s from one of my favorite webcomics:
    http://xkcd.com/283/

    Also, my favorite strip from said webcomic, just because it’s sweet AND scientific:
    http://xkcd.com/162/

    Like

  67. Yoda says:

    Woman reading docs unicorn rare it would be

    Like

  68. Yoda says:

    Make “docs” into “xkcd” one must.
    After 800 years auto correct better know me it should.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Tarnished says:

    But…xkcd is the most awesomest science comic!

    Like

  70. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Tarn,
    I would think that you are a connesuier of comics.

    Like

  71. blurkel says:

    “Is it truly preferable to have mediocre sex with 30 partners who may not give a damn about your body/desires, instead of incredibly hot sex with 1 man or woman who actually cares if you are satisfied?”

    While I can’t claim 30 partners in my life, none of those I did have were especially hot lovers. I could go much longer than they wanted to, which meant that they limited my action. Given the choice of variety over a costant disappointment, I’d prefer the hunt for the unicorn to same-old same-old.

    Like

  72. blurkel says:

    @Tarnished

    1) …women with degrees are picking men in trade jobs (aka no college debt since there was no college)?

    Possibly, Tarn. But trade schools now cost almost as much as colleges do. I happen to be a graduate of one, and I now couldn’t afford to take the courses which helped me earn a good living for a few decades. My current income not only supports a wife with a Masters in Industrial/Organizational Psychology (and no employment prospects), but also a son with a bachelor degree in English Composition (and no job prospects), a daughter who spend a full-ride scholarship on “Asian Studies” only to decide being a teacher sounded much better after discovering that there are no job prospects covered by her degree, and a son who is in the process of completing a Computer Science degree, who will be employable once he’s finished. There are two part-time jobs in this group currently aiding me in supporting the household. I generally carry their expenses.

    There is no guarantee today that a new tech school graduate could match that record.

    2) women with worthless (employment prospects-wise) degrees in soft subjects feel entitled to men with degrees. Once they realise the true value of the victim studies degrees they might find it easier to match their partner requirements entitlements to their realistic options. Me pointing this out might actually help women (once their feelz-badz fade).

    As Spawny says. It’s one reason why professional women loudly and regularly complain that there aren’t any men “worthy” of them, and end up doing without or going gay if they don’t settle for some available guy.

    3) …many men don’t care about their partner having a soft soap degree anyway.

    See my response to #1. I’d much rather have a decent income of any kind to assist with the load of a household over some framed piece of paper which only cost a lot of money to get.

    4) Believe it or not ladies, men aren’t attracted to bitches that basically hate them for their existance and their genitalia (but want a personal provider pack mule and a willy and sperm).

    I know a lot of high school graduate women who feel this way, so the degree (and possible exposure to “women’s studies”) isn’t necessarily a determinant in a man being treated in such an abusive manner.

    5). If both partners are virgins there’s virtually no chance of divorce…is this due to religious upbringing that frowns on marital separation, or because neither the man or woman has “had more/better” and are thus able to grow together?

    As Carly Simon sang, “Well that’s the way I always heard it should be”. If virginity served to deliver better marital prospects, it would be more likely that people would pursue such a path voluntarily. Despite the claims -particularly by the self-appointed religious leadership- ignorance never delivers bliss. It leads to lots of women being sexually unsatisfied because the men don’t know any better either, yet she (at least) can feel that there should be more than what she gets. Reddit is filled with such complaints, as are much of the women’s media. Knowledge -whether virginal or not- is the answer, but the religious types are NEVER going to relinquish control over that!

    Bonus: …he believes both sexes should have as many partners as they want…and is still continuously puzzled by the fact I am happy with “just” him.

    You have collided with the gender-based sexuality conflict! You know men tend to feel like sex is a physical action, while women tend to see sex as part of the relational bonding. It’s no secret that men can do it with just about any woman under the right circumstances, while women have to care about their partners to even consider it (in most circumstances). I doubt there is a middle ground on this, but I’m open to additional input on the topic.

    Like

  73. Farm Boy says:

    My current income not only supports a wife with a Masters in Industrial/Organizational Psychology (and no employment prospects)

    She is a chick with a degree that sounds reasonable enough for an affirmative-action corporate hire. What is the deal?

    Like

  74. Tarnished says:

    Thanks for the input, Blurkel. Once again, the wisdom you have due to years of life experiences is a boon to those of us without. I am continuously sorry that such knowledge is so costly though. 😦

    The only thing that seems iffy is the assertion that men see sex as a mostly physical action…talking to my FwB this is the case in regards to ONS but not in LTRs. Then (according to him) it changes to sometimes deeper. If a ONS doesn’t happen, oh well, try again tomorrow. But if sex is denied in a supposedly loving relationship, it can really hurt. We’ve only fought once in 8 years but when I got back from my cool down walk we had sex almost immediately because we both had a great desire to reconnect.
    Just an experience I had. Take from it what you will.

    Like

  75. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    This is going to be knee jerk speculation on my part but, could it be that Corporate America is saturated with these positios and can carry no more? If so, this is extremely telling.

    Like

  76. Tarnished says:

    If it’s not too personal, Blurkel…what is your number?
    And how can you have gone “too long”? Isn’t the joke that guys come too soon? I don’t have experience with this…when you come is when you come, a stiff member isn’t necessary for a female orgasm after all, and men shouldn’t feel guilty for having pleasure…but it’s what I have heard.

    Like

  77. blurkel says:

    What’s the deal? I wish I could say for sure. One thing I suspect is that she wasn’t up to the statistics necessary to do the job as she was trained. One company she should have been acceptable for might have been the infamous McKinsey & Co, but they wouldn’t even talk to her. Neither would anyone else, and after two years of futility, she opted to be a special ed teacher aide. Now, at her age, there is no chance even Walmart would hire her.

    Like

  78. blurkel says:

    “Then (according to him) it changes to sometimes deeper.”

    Well, Tarn, since my experience is valuable, I’ll draw upon it again. Just because.

    It CAN evolve into something deeper, but few men ever get to that level (The only time I did was during a platonic relationship, oddly enough!). It depends upon whether or not the woman values sex with her man for its own sake, or if it’s a Pavlovian reward for good behavior. Wives don’t want to admit that their husbands quickly know the difference.

    It’s like iced cake. That deeper relationship is the cake, with the sex the icing.

    Like

  79. blurkel says:

    I think you are close to a truth, Fuzzie. But I see it as Corporate America has determined -through thousands of studies performed since Woodrow Wilson hired Freud’s nephew Edward Bernays to propagandize the American people into accepting joining WWI- that such “standards” cause people to spend money. They will look into adapting the process only when sales fall off. That is the ONLY moral which concerns them.

    Like

  80. blurkel says:

    I’m willing to answer your queries, Tarn, but this forum is a bit too public for my tastes. Do you have a more private means of contact?

    Like

  81. Tarnished says:

    “It’s like iced cake. That deeper relationship is the cake, with the sex the icing.”

    Yes! Exactly! 😀
    It’s why you have sex even when you’re tired or aren’t feeling 100%…Not because you have to, but because you love them and their pleasure is important to you. ❤

    Like

  82. Tarnished says:

    Yup. My blog email is tarnishedsophia@hotmail.com.
    My mom is giving me “that” look for apparently not paying enough attention to the movie on TV though, so I may have to cease talking for a bit. If you email me, I’ll respond as soon as I can though.

    Like

  83. blurkel says:

    re: iced cake

    I wish I could say I experienced that. I usually felt like I was being accommodated rather than pleasured.

    Like

  84. Tarnished says:

    Last comment for a while but…

    Sex: They’re Doing It Wrong 😛

    Like

  85. Farm Boy says:

    It probably is not a good idea to tell a bear how to do sex.

    Like

  86. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Frm Boy,
    How’s a bear gonna learn? Those girl bears are notorious for being bad teachers and then criticizing you later behind your back. They subscribe to the policy that boy bears should “Just Get It”.
    Grrrrr!

    Like

  87. molly says:

    I’m staying out of this! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  88. Farm Boy says:

    Fuzzie Bear,

    Even Cindy Bear?

    Like

  89. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    Cindy Bear is Yogi’s sweetheart and nobody else’s. She’s still working on finding someone for Boo-boo Bear.
    Getting back to humans, I did mention that the common question on OkCupid about experience in your partner, the girls invariably wanted someone with more. Huh?

    Like

  90. Farm Boy says:

    the girls invariably wanted someone with more

    Tingles Uber Alles

    Bonding is not important.

    Like

  91. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    Back in the old days, when it was only feasible for women to pursue a long term ating straegy, tingles weren’t much of an issue. Now that women feel that short term mating is feasible, tingld have become an issue.
    Hmmmm…..?

    Like

  92. Alana says:

    I think Spawny got it right when he said there may be differences in how a degree is looked at over here vs UK/US.

    Also I have to admit, my reasons for pursuing a degree are not 100% economic. Because I was earning enough to support myself even b4 getting a degree–one reason why I first left uni earlier.

    It’s partly the pursuit of knowledge that I believe will be useful. But also, as my older sis told me years ago, it shows employers that u have the skills and discipline to complete assignments and your degree programme. Which is one reason why as i mentioned before, I know history grads, engineering grads etc who went on to work in investment banking, whereas non-grads wouldn’t be hired in similar positions. It’s not that they even studied any finance-related stuff. :p

    Another reason is that frankly I was a little self-conscious at possibly being dismissed as a bimbo or flake due to having left university. I know that’s not a v good reason. >.<

    In a sense, for many pple, going to university is more a luxury or a privilege, except for those who absolutely need their degree to work in the field of their choice. Everyone has to do a cost-benefit analysis of their own to decide if it's worthwhile. Personally I have no interest in designer bags or shoes etc, but this is one luxury I actually care to have. 🙂

    Like

  93. Alana says:

    Molly “I’m staying out of this!”

    Lol me too. This is kinda embarrassing, but I’ve actually never watched an R(A) film before. Haven’t really deliberately avoided them, just never happened to watch them.

    Like

  94. Yoda says:

    Now that women feel that short term mating is feasible, tingles have become an issue.

    Wise in the farce the bear is.
    Modern mating a farce it is.

    Like

  95. Alana says:

    Btw I don’t wanna make life over here sound too good. There’s a v low employment rate, much lower than in the US or much of Europe. However there’s a v high cost of living, so although almost everyone (who wants a job) is employed, there are many employed pple who aren’t living that comfortably.

    There’s almost no social welfare also.

    Like

  96. Yoda says:

    Also I have to admit, my reasons for pursuing a degree are not 100% economic.

    In the olden days. I
    intellectual development there was.
    These days rare it is.

    Like

  97. Yoda says:

    There’s almost no social welfare also.

    Incentive to work this does provide.

    Liked by 1 person

  98. Alana says:

    “Incentive to work this does provide.”

    Very very true Yoda! I’m not saying social welfare shouldn’t exist, but it should be hard to qualify for it. It’s something meant for the people who really really can’t find a job despite their best efforts.

    Some economies in Europe are in big trouble now because they’ve been giving too much welfare for too long.

    Liked by 1 person

  99. blurkel says:

    @Alana

    Despite the propaganda to the contrary, most people on welfare in the US would prefer to be gainfully employed. Would that the US found the desire to put more people back to work, including three of my kids who are having terrible luck winning jobs.

    Like

  100. blurkel says:

    It already IS hard to qualify for welfare for most people.

    My son had a job for 11 years until he was forced out. He was told that he didn’t qualify for aid when he applied.

    Like

  101. sweetheart888 says:

    @blurket: It’s a bit more complicated in places with significant unemployment. There are indeed some pple in the US and UK who Need help because they can’t find a job despite their best efforts. However, there are plenty of pple who are getting substantial welfare checks while they sit around for many months, even years, not searching hard for a job. It seems like the welfare applications aren’t being approved/rejected by very consistent standards.

    The problem is, sometimes it’s quite hard to tell who really is looking for work and who isn’t.

    IMO, welfare can be given, but only enough to pay for the most basic needs. And there must be strict requirements to obtain it, like a minimum number of job applications weekly, time spent attending skills upgrading courses instead of just sitting around at home, etc.

    [SG – If you didn’t wish to use this account to comment, let me know Alana. I will delete it. Copy and paste a new comment first]

    Like

  102. Alana says:

    Oops the above comment was by me. 🙂

    Like

  103. Alana says:

    Just wanted to share some good news, of a non-tingles sorta marriage. (I shared it on J4G too, to balance some of the cynicism there, lol.

    My brother (mid-twenties) recently married his longterm girlfriend of about the same age, after meeting several yrs ago. He is sooo beta and such a sweetheart. It was the most touching, memorable and truly joyous wedding I’ve ever attended–frankly I usually find them kinda dull, although those of close family members have been quite enjoyable.

    He was helping her with math tutoring for 3 months before he asked her out, and she said yes. They started dating, then dating seriously, and then now they’re married, and gosh I’ve never seen a happier couple, who seemed so perfect for each other.

    It’s so nice to see the ‘nice guy’ not finish last. As someone who myself took those nice beta guys for granted (although I did prefer them to the ‘alphas’) and didn’t sufficiently appreciate them, it’s lovely to see that some young ladies didn’t. At the wedding, she thanked my parents for bringing him up well cos she said she “can’t imagine anyone more perfect than him”, and u could tell the 2 of them really meant all the sweet things they said about each other. I’m mega-happy for them. 🙂

    Like

  104. blurkel says:

    The problem is, sometimes it’s quite hard to tell who really is looking for work and who isn’t.

    Not at all! A resonalbe requirement would be to log the applications a person files each week (something my own son does to track his rejections, which come 80% of the time, the other 20 being no response. That will likely be a future post.). All it would take is the company name, the web site address (since few companies have face-to-face applications anymore), the date and time, caut and pasted into a log file for presentation when asked about job-seeking activity. Anyone who would complain about this would give themselves away as slacking. A sample of the logs could be verified to prove sincerity.

    Now update those urban legends.

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  105. blurkel says:

    @Alana

    I wish them luck.

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  106. Alana says:

    @bllurkel: I’m not sure why, but i feel u’re wilfully blinding urself to the many instances that welfare provisions are abused in the US/UK. I don’t just listen to rumours. I don’t even watch much tv, but I’ve seen many times on a show like Judge Judy that there are many reasonably able-bodied pple who don’t work and collect welfare, or even disability payments long-term (ie over many years) although they seem perfectly capable of having an office job or a job with light physical exertion required.

    That’s not even getting into all the pple receiving sizable monthly checks from the state for having babies they can’t support (I think this is a bigger problem in the UK than in the US, though), of which they don’t spend much of it on the child. Or those being given checks for their studies when they go back to school, which they then don’t spend much of on their studies…That’s why I said I believe too much is given, it should be barely enough to get by, not enough for a person to save up from. Even better if it were given in terms of vouchers/coupons that can only be used for a specific purpose (that’s not my own idea, it’s been suggested by many other pple).

    Gosh in relation to u, I’m starting to sound like some far-right Rush Limbaugh type. >.<

    Like

  107. Alana says:

    Thanks for your well-wishes to the newly-weds, I think they will be very happy together. 🙂 🙂 It seems like the traditional old-school type of marriage, in some ways.

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  108. Alana says:

    I agree there are some pple like your son who perhaps should qualify for some welfare and didn’t receive it. But there are still too many loopholes that can be abused by those who choose to.

    Liked by 1 person

  109. molly says:

    Hi Alana, How u been? You’re looking good! Luuv those eye lashes, and the hair 😉

    We did some night fishing tonight. Full moon. I caught a 1.5 kg snapper and Cill caught 2 snappers. I felt like eating one tonight. We prepared them and left them in the fridge for tomorrow instead. No use being too greedy!

    (Sorry for changing the subject)

    Like

  110. blurkel says:

    JUDGE JUDY????????

    Thanks for playing, Alana!

    Like

  111. Alana says:

    Hi Molly, sorry I couldn’t reply yesterday. Anyway I’ve been doing alrite 🙂 Just have a bit of flu, thanks to attending too many gatherings recently and the rainy weather here too. My brother just got married to a really nice girl though, so that’s nice. 🙂

    Yeah my avatar had ‘interesting’ hair and eyelashes yesterday, alas today’s avatar has neither hair nor eyelashes! Lol.

    How’ve you been Molly? I didn’t know u and Cill were such a good fisherperson. A 1.5kg fish sounds pretty big!

    I did catch a millipede yesterday though. Scary! Saw it crawling around my home towards my bedroom, and I couldn’t stand the thought of it possibly camping out in my bed, so I had to scoop it up with a piece of paper and deposit it outside my door. I wonder where it is now…

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  112. Alana says:

    Not that I’m comparing catching a millipede to catching a fish. Millipedes move veeery slooowly, they’re easy to catch. Fish are much harder to catch. :p

    Like

  113. Liz says:

    Hey, I got my spindley arms back! And lost the pointy head…

    Like

  114. Alana says:

    Oh yeah, I got yesterday’s avatar back too! It has eyelashes and a few strands of hair…yay.

    Like

  115. Alana says:

    Oops, I have to make a minor correction. When I mentioned to my sis–who is visiting from London–that I was having the flu, she told me that technically ‘flu’ refers to the influenza virus, which I don’t have. :p When I said “flu”, I just meant I have a bit of a cold and a cough. 🙂

    Like

  116. Liz says:

    Hee hee. Now that I switched back to my own avatar my above comment is pretty funny.
    😛

    Like

  117. Liz says:

    Hope you get well soon, Alana.

    Like

  118. Alana says:

    Thanks Liz 🙂

    Like

  119. […] people with a true understanding of the situation.  But for what ever reason, when she puts on her tingle colored glasses, this is what she […]

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  120. Spawny Get says:

    Not sure that the pingback went to the right post

    Here’s Farm Boy’s post Red Pill Classroom — Let’s Just Be Friends

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