I had a long day yesterday, and so when I read Tarn’s latest post – Being Gender Dysphoric In The Manosphere I recognised her pain but I didn’t really know how to respond publicly. Even now, as I write, this feels a little rambly. I might make this part of a series of posts, see how we go.
I think each persons reaction to her post will be very much affected by that person’s experience, their point in the red-pill taking process and just may be – age. Missattempts (a male commenter on Tarn’s blog) says (with some re-formatting and a spelling correction to help those unfamiliar with the terms)
I think that the only guys that might appreciate and comprehend your ideas are the OLDER MGTOW’s like Spawny Get and Francis.
It’s simply not realistic to expect that the typical “incel” or social outcast, can appreciate or understand where you are coming from. For many, it’s a non stop “pity party,” and it’s ALWAYS the other person’s fault. To, them you are the “enemy,” and couldn’t possibly understand their plight. Or why in the heck don’t you offer yourself up to them to alleviate their pain?
Oh wait, you did contemplate doing that, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.
From the film “Cool Hand Luke,” “It’s a failure to communicate. Some men you can’t reach.”
older more maturerer man with distinct MGTOW instincts, I think Miss raises a few fair points there (while going too far on others). My divorce was something like fifteen – twenty years ago in the UK after a short marriage without kids. I was in my early thirties. It wasn’t very expensive (around $5k in total) or a protracted legal process (Neither of us saw the inside of a courtroom). I had been supporting her financially for around five years in total, but she didn’t get to gouge me when the relationship died, she didn’t really try to very hard. You might consider it a ‘starter-marriage’ in some ways. A term that I saw only recently, but recognised immediately. The process was very painful for me, but compared to the modern tales I read? Just a bump in the road. From that point on I regarded myself as what I’d now call mostly-MGTOW, though it would take around a decade before I came across the term MGTOW and the manosphere.
My MGTOW is a determination, not a red-button that others can push. If that makes sense? It is not lightly held and it is not an open wound to be prodded. I think maybe that my age is a factor too. Even given the chance to reproduce (which has never been a strong urge, though it could have happened if that marriage took another route) I would not want to. I would be too old as they grew up. I don’t like the way the future is shaping up. If I had kids now I wouldn’t really know what to tell them (particularly boys, but not only boys).
I have kind of a disconnected view of society. I’d like to see it do well. I don’t think it is going well and I think that the future is worse. I look at the ‘leadership’ that the world has and…Spawny isn’t impressed. To put it mildly. In addition to leadership by the least inspiring types imaginable, we also have too many idiot ideologues spouting their tired SJW (Social ‘Justice’ Weasel) tropes, engendering hatred just so they can panhandle (or they genuinely have severe mental issues preventing them from seeing the people around them as more than caricatures to be hated or exploited). My main ‘hope’ may sound far from hopeful, but it’s that after this has all crashed, the people left can rebuild something better. In that world men will be the builders once more, respected for their skills. Women will be perfectly able to do what they can actually do. No more double standards, if a she can do the job as well as a he? You go for it. Equal pay for equal work. Quotas and AA will be gone. Why? because they are BS luxuries that will no longer be viable. All the race baiters and gender baiters will be gone too.
When I met Tarn it was on JustFourGuys, I think, about a year or so ago. My immediate reaction was along the lines of ‘wow, what an interesting point of view she has’, so I read some of her blog and emailed her. In every exchange of views I have found her to be very male in outlook. I have never talked to her, but as far as I can tell Tarn is exactly what Tarn says she is; A Male mind in a Female body. The friendship that resulted is a friendship of two males. Given the age gap there’s an element of old
git man – young man, may be even uncle – nephew, at least from my end. I don’t dispense wisdom so much as offer a point of view from the other end of twenty more years of experience. Tarn takes or leaves what she wishes.
Why was my reaction to Tarn like that? A number of factors, I think:
So I can understand that some of my brothers don’t want to let a female bodied person into their male-spaces. I understand because there is a huge history of such entryism going wrong. The first women in to a male space likely want to experience the male atmosphere, but then the ‘me-too’ women push their way in…and start complaining about the tone, and the decor, and the fact that the male atmosphere gives them bad-feelz every now and again. If men just changed this little thing…and that little thing…and…blah blah…the list of changes will be endless until the institution dies. I suggest you check into how well Atheism+ (warning – funny) is doing right now. They went through this process.
Society has been pushing this female entryism on men at every single opportunity where advantage to women (real or fantasy) has been perceived by fembots and other misandrists (male and female). MGTOW is pushing back against that. Tarn is caught up in that. I actually truly believe that she is a friend to men. She offers unique perspective. Her blog shows that she walks the walk as well as talks the talk. She seems very honest, exceptionally honest to me. Objective with a colour-wash of optimism and compassion. Look at Tarn’s ‘rant‘, even that is the rant that a younger idealistic guy might write when his open honesty is rejected. That is the reaction of a blue-pill guy getting LJBF’d by a woman that he genuinely liked, genuinely was a nice-guy to, was following the script handed to him by society – ‘being himself’. There are a lot of guys here that will recognise the reaction she shows in that post, because they’ve been in a very similar position themselves in their past.
I consider her a real friend. I see her as an asset to MGTOW, but I understand the MGTOW reaction. I think that they’re wrong in this specific instance, but…they have a right to be wrong. The constant pushing of gynocentrism has generated blowback in the form of harsh rules designed to protect the last male spaces (except for dirty and dangerous workplaces that feminists see no value in invading).
I’m sorry that Tarn, a friend of mine, has been caught up in that. Tarn does not deserve to be.