(in the acronym, “Person” can be substituted for “People”)
[Actually the only reason for this post is that the previous one was getting too big and slowish to load 😉 ]
Much has been made of the Fart-Rape culture.
“Ashleigh Ingle a proud feminist and an anarchist argued that because of patriarchal gender norms women were not allowed to release gas in public because of men’s unreal expectations of women to be clean and feminine. Furthermore she articulated that if a woman was to fart in the presence of a man and the man responded by farting louder than the woman, than that would be rape.” http://thewaterpipe.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/can-a-fart-be-misogynist/
We provide a fart-removed zone. Although the Fart-Rape culture is an opportunity for a man to experience and be sensitized to the horror of rape, the experience of a woman must necessarily be worse because her senses of hearing and smell are superior to a man’s
In a fart exchange, therefore, the man must inevitably lose. He will be adjudged to be the rapist. It is true that the assault to the senses is almost equal between the genders. However, by the fact that she is ever-so-slightly more victimized by her senses, she is absolved of responsibility and he is rendered absolutely culpable.
Our environment removes the sound and aroma so that the fart cannot constitute rape.
In our experience there are two types of people: those who will admit to past episodes of unbridled flatulence and those who will not. The former are POOOOFF, the latter are non-POOOOFF, simple as that.
RULES FOR THE NON-POOOOFF:
You may enter provided:
You respect that this is a haven for POOOOFF.
You are the invitee of a POOOOFF.
You do not attempt to approach, communicate or engage with POOOOFF in any way.
You make your presence here as brief and unobtrusive as possible. You are welcome here if you respect these rules. Please feel free to take a POOOOFF promotional pamphlet from the stand by the Exit door.
The hell with the rules (which were taken from Womyns Centre rules for men) . Just come on in.
Symptoms of POOOOFF:
- Hollow cheeks (from sucking in air during a “burner”)
- Flattened facial features (a recidivist victim of “door-slammers”)
- Watery eyes (a recidivist victim of “soup-coolers”)
- Hair that projects backwards from the face and head (a recidivist victim of “pinex-rippers”)
- Puffy cheeks (from holding back giggles and warbles during a “tickler”)
- Swagger (know they can empty a crowded bar in 20 seconds max)
- Walk with clenched butt-cheeks (an habitual victim of “follow-through”)
- Haggard facial expressions (from the harrowing experience of throwing “blue flamers”)
HOW DO WE ACHIEVE OUR “FART-REMOVED” ENVIRONMENT?
There are Fart Trousers© for hire and changing rooms for rent. (This is a non-profit organisation, but we needs must defray the costs of lease, insurance, commercial cleaning, and thousands of air freshener cannisters. And of course, there’s also the research and development cost of the Fart Trousers©).
Our Fart Trousers© are our secret technology. No-one may enter these portals without them.
So come in and relax without fear of inadvertently raping or getting raped here!