Why don’t some movies and TV programmes have trigger warnings for ‘dumb’?


It started with a post on SfcTon’s Place about the (lack of) tactical skills demonstrated in The Walking Dead.

I must thank Ton as I had also started watching series one online (I had missed series one’s start when it was broadcast). It had taken me a while to get round to it because the later seasons hadn’t exactly made me fall in love with the buffoon-in-chief, his clueless followers and their shared (unnecessary) dramatic woes.  I was often in a quandry; do I face-palm or shout at the tv (I’m old, it’s allowed) or both.

I needn’t go into the specifics again because I vented many of them at Ton’s Place in the comments – very therapeutic. Thanks again, Ton.

In those comments I mentioned ‘The Purge’, a movie that I really disliked because, once again, the characters are sooo dumb, soooooo dumb. I must admit, I shouted at the TV then too. It was a partially happy ending, so that helped a bit. (Not saying what part was what).  I had three regrets too.  At least three, come to think about it.

I also happened in comments (and emails) to mention the most gawd-awful film I’ve seen in years…‘All is lost’ 6.9 out of 10! Who do you think you’re kidding?  I got to the end only by having it only in the background whilst busy watching paint dry.

It’s an immensely dull film in it’s own right, but where it really shines is the colossal, unending level of stupid of the star (Je t’accuse Robert Redford).  The number of times I was shouting ‘do something’, ‘what are you waiting for’, ‘get on with it… anything…NOW!’?…I lost count.  The first was when he awakes with his boat sinking (having slept through the collision), there’s a hole in the side letting in water and he’s…standing looking at it.  Mate!  there’s a hole in your boat, there’s no prospect of outside aid (middle of nowhere), YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING.  Maybe have a cup of coffee while you think about switching on the bilge pump?  Maybe switch it on first?  Who can say what you should be doing?  right?  Then he spots a storm coming at him…so he has an emergency shave!  I kid you not.  He abandons a potentially viable boat to climb into an un-provisioned life raft and have a kip during a storm while his raft is still tied to a boat that he must have considered was going to sink (otherwise, why’d he get off?).  I’ll leave it there.  The link at the end of the post leads to real sailors listing their disgruntlements, or points of gruntlement shortfall.

So, in the name of all that’s holy, why can’t we have a dumbness rating on every programme (yes, that’s the proper spelling) and film. Maybe a maximum mental age based rating system?

To understand the depths of dumb plumbed by this film, try the comments->hated it on IMDB

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Posted in WTH
85 comments on “Why don’t some movies and TV programmes have trigger warnings for ‘dumb’?
  1. Cill says:

    [Trigger warning – Cill is ON TOPIC – there’s something plain wrong about the whole deal]

    I bailed out of “All is Lost” after 10 minutes. Maybe 5. Maybe it was just two minutes that seemed like 10.

    When the boat was holed to port, why put her on starboard tack? Why didn’t he concentrate first and foremost on the pumps to give her more buoyancy? If you’re holed just above waterline it’s a good idea to float higher, right? Why distract yourself with a pointless deployment of the storm anchor? Perhaps it was to slow down the rate she flooded when he chose starboard tack. Uh, no, hydrodynamics won’t oblige much. Or maybe he thought you drive a boat like a car, using a storm anchor as the brakes. Uh, just sail her closer to the wind, Robert, sailors have known that for thousands of years.

    Perhaps I have some of the sequence wrong. Perhaps he sailed past the hazard and approached it again down wind. Perhaps the wind impossibly swung 180 degrees in a split second. Whatever. I can’t remember the details, it was such a forgettable movie.

    At first I thought there must be a hidden reason he needed to have her lower in the water. I was thinking, that reason better be a bloody good one or I’m outta here. It was worse than that. There *was* no reason, not even a weak one. That’s when I bailed.

    And the way he handled the helm, the rigging, the whole damn boat, so much of it was wrong.

    He effectively demonstrated how to sink a boat.

    Woeful is too nice a word for it.

    Like

  2. Spawny Get says:

    Man, this was a horrible film.

    Check out the final link in the post. There are hardy sailors that made it through the entire film – staunch, staunch fellows. I salute them for their service!

    They list what you list and more. There’s a complaint over the maximum length of review allowed! Usually there’s a few “why do I have to type so much”, never seen a “I’ve had to trim my criticism for length” before.

    Like

  3. Spawny Get says:

    FTR I got to about 25 minutes before I emailed you saying it was a horrible film. The next day I was even busier so (why I tried again I’ll never know), I continued from the night before’s end point.

    If you do ever watch it:
    a) take your blood pressure meds first, maybe some tranqs (strong ones)
    2) gargle with something soothing afterwards to calm your voice which will be sore from shouting
    iii) maybe watch it a subjective hour at each sitting, so around 5 objective minutes a sitting.
    *) don’t have anything to hand that you might want to hurl at the tv. I know you’re a sailor. I’m not and I knew Robby was pillock of immense calibre. TVs can be pricey.

    I cannot believe that this stinker is still at 6.9 out of 10. Must be some fixing going on. In more ways than one.

    Like

  4. Spawny Get says:

    I’m not a sailor, but I don’t see why tying a sea anchor to a freely flowing object would make any difference. No way was the wind driving the container, only the current. The sea anchor would change nothing.

    After freeing himself he sailed away, then turned back (putting the hole under water again) then rammed the container in order to get back on board it to get his sea anchor back (why? why cause more damage to the boat to get back an anchor?).

    If he tied up to it (it was buoyant due to being full of training shoes):
    1) much easier to patch his hole standing on the container (he sat in a sling later and did it).
    2) he’d have had a backup buoyant ‘vessel’ if his boat sank
    3) he could have filled volumes in his boat with the clearly buoyant sneakers – maybe make it unsinkable.

    After hitting the container, a stroke of bad luck, he did every damn thing wrong.

    Like

  5. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    OK, I believe you guys. I won’t watch it. Hard to believe, as I’ve never seen Redford in a turkey.

    All this discussion reminded me of why Gene Roddenberry introduced the transporter to Star Trek. It solved issues with the drama by getting characters to a new scene without delay. It was not about showcasing speculative future technology.

    Like

  6. sfcton says:

    some days I do ok with tuning out the stupid on movies but other days…. I read a lot

    Like

  7. Spawny Get says:

    The night your guys want to watch ‘the purge’, read a book that night. I wanted ’em all dead…everyone except the black guy. He was just unlucky. I didn’t want to chance any of the rest breeding

    Like

  8. Spawny Get says:

    Taking our word for it?

    Just goes to prove that you’re smarter than the average bear.

    A Yogi to Cill’s Boo-Boo?

    Like

  9. Cill says:

    I’m not so sure how much of a sailor one those of “sailors” was. He makes the point: “First off he uses the sea anchor to drag the container away from the hull, great stuff”

    Which means the sea anchor drifted away from the container. Which means the boat would have drifted the same way the sea anchor did. He made no real attempt to push the boat off (it was a small boat). In trying to show us the resourcefulness of the man, the sea anchor bit failed miserably, so much so that I tried to find other reasons for it at the time.

    The question is, why don’t the movie-makers employ an experienced person (a sailor in this case) to advise in such elementary aspects of the subject matter?

    Like

  10. Spawny Get says:

    Later on he uses a handheld flare in daylight!

    And later on fires two rocket flares (proving he had them), but only after that second ship had passed. Now that’s worth a go if you’re desperate, somebody might be looking out the back, but why be such a doddering dipstick as to take that long to launch a flare? Firing one ahead of the bridge would have been a better bet.

    And then there’s the signal fire in an inflatable raft…

    Like

  11. Cill says:

    Spawny, to watch 25 minutes of that movie, mate, you have to be a mosochist

    Like

  12. Spawny Get says:

    I was commenting on a great new blog on my fondleslab, I wasn’t really watching…my excuse. Don’t know why I restarted it the next day. Wish I hadn’t.

    Like

  13. Cill says:

    Spawny said “much easier to patch his hole standing on the container”

    I can’t remember enough of it to know if that was an opportunity. If it was as you say, the man was more of an idiot than ever. He could’ve done a good job of fibre-glassing it over and giving the resin a chance to set before putting it to the test. The way he did it in the movie, the patching was an exercise in futility.

    Like

  14. Cill says:

    I wonder how much it cost to make All is Lost? Man, if I did one project as badly as that I’d never win another tender. I bet that movie cost millions, and all they had to do is call on a bit of expertise. Hell, it’s not hard! I would’ve given it for free over a handle of beer (or three).

    Like

  15. Spawny Get says:

    They sank three 39′ boats and Redford’s credibility…can’t have been cheap

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Cill says:

    “They sank three 39′ boats and Redford’s credibility…can’t have been cheap”

    His credibility is pretty cheap now.

    Like

  17. Cill says:

    Ahh, it pisses me off when people can make money out of slack products. I’ll get over it.

    Like

  18. Spawny Get says:

    You forgot the LOL, maybe a LMAO.

    That was a great line…justice…now!!!

    Like

  19. Spawny Get says:

    That’s it! I’m officially pouting now.

    Like

  20. Moehau Man says:

    Yes, well, I’m a bit of a lubber compared with you foreign nautical types. “Stick to the good old terra firma” is the Moehau Man motto. Moehau Mans have not put to sea for four million years. A bloke should stick to what he knows, unless he wants to be pakaru .

    Like

  21. Spawny Get says:

    Pakora (various spellings exist) are delicious. Bit of sweet chilli sauce…delicious. Wouldn’t want to be one. Not around a hungry guy, especially.

    Like

  22. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Robert Redford in a better role.

    Like

  23. sfcton says:

    thanks its on the list for tomorrow night

    Like

  24. Spawny Get says:

    You’re bound to get a post or two out of that…best of luck living long enough to write them.

    If you’re known to be part of selecting it…I’d be nervous about getting swept by the guys for the next week, or so. Time on the can would be nervous too. If those nam stories were accurate, that was a prime fragging opportunity.

    Like

  25. Spawny Get says:

    The Purge 2 is rumoured to be worse…that strains credibility. The rumour, that is.

    Like

  26. Moehau Man says:

    “Robert Redford in a better role”

    Hard out, bro. As sure as a cat’s arse is wreathed in smiles, it was a better role.

    Sweet as.

    Like

  27. Spawny Get says:

    What’s a cat’s marmite starfish got to do with smiling?

    With Redford’s acting? That I get.

    Like

  28. Spawny Get says:

    Do Aussie cats have vegemite starfish?
    Enquiring minds want to know.

    Like

  29. Liz says:

    I’ve never seen any of these movies, Swithy. But I think there should be trigger warnings for stupid people. And if the person is stupid in a completely crazy and destructive way, that trigger warning should be literal…”stop being crazy stupid, or…this fluffy kitten gets it (just kidding, I’d never kill a kitten).

    Like

  30. Spawny Get says:

    It used to be aspirational to be smart. Smart to listen to your parents and those with experience. Now it’s feelz, just feelz, right here and now. And flash stuff. And sex. And beer.

    Like

  31. Moehau Man says:

    It strikes me that if Aussie cats did eat vegemite, mate, their fundamental orifices would change from wreathed smiles to thousand yard stares. At least that’s the way I’m seeing it from this side of the ditch.

    Like

  32. Spawny Get says:

    Maybe if I’d looked as discerningly at cat’s aerosols as you, I’d understand the wreathed in smiles comment(?) 😉
    Is it a Kiwi expression?

    Like

  33. Moehau Man says:

    “or…this fluffy kitten gets it”

    Otherwise, all going well, we can get back to our Marmite and life is just a box of fluffy ducks. Pretty good.

    Like

  34. Moehau Man says:

    Well, I think the old “Cats on the Rooftops” might have had something to do with it, mate, and I’m pretty sure kiwis can’t claim credit for that one.

    Like

  35. Spawny Get says:

    Que?
    Meano spika da Kiwi…

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Moehau Man says:

    “Cats with their assholes wreathed in smiles” comes verbatim from a jinky little tune called “Cats on the Rooftops” by Jon Peel who coined the lyrics as well. That clear enuff for ya, matey?

    Liked by 1 person

  37. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    “or…the fluffy kitten gets it!”
    There are much MUCH worse things for bears.

    Like

  38. Liz says:

    Have you heard about the two teenaged girls from Austria who volunteered to go to Syria and join ISIS as a couple of brooding mares? They now think the “made a big mistake” and “terrifying discovery”. What’s so terrifying? Throwing away your rights? Didja think you could just write ’em on paper and they’d reappear for ya? Apparently this is a “thing” now. Pushin the envelope and all. The absurd thing is…if any of those girls ever made it back, people (retards) would call them “brave” and they could get rich off of book rights/chat shows. There are seriously that many retards around.

    GAH! Thanks for letting me go OT. Here’s another thing (while I’m blabbing…because, that’s what I do, I am a real chick)…

    It’s pretty common for chicks to describe other women as ‘crazy’…not just crazy, but crrrayzzeee. It’s so damned common, it’s a common description. And these women aren’t in loony bins, but performing actual jobs, often jobs that require responsibility and lives are on the line. I know nurses who are crrrayzzeee, I know pilots who are crrrayzzzeee, I know officers who are crrrayzzeee. But they’re all women. Men might be jerks, they might be crazy in a crazy sense (though it’s comparatively rare), and a few are actually institutionalized…but how many people know men who are crrayzzeee, and would describe them that way? Not so many. You could throw a random stone just about anywhere and tag at least two crrayzzzeee women though.

    Like

  39. Spawny Get says:

    Helps a lot. Cheers

    Like

  40. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Liz,
    I’ve only read one article WRT those two and I understand them to be married and pregnant. It would not surprise me in the least if both volunteered for those conditions.

    Liked by 2 people

  41. Spawny Get says:

    Not so much a bear necessity, more a bear atrocity

    Like

  42. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Another example of Liz’s “craaayyyzzzzeeeee” chicks?

    Like

  43. Spawny Get says:

    Like I worry about off topic.

    The crazy I see is on the tv and online. The disconnect between some people and reality is bizarre. In politics it doesn’t seem to be particularly a gendered issue.

    I guess in real life I’m not meeting enough women? Or maybe they up their game when they deal with me…I have the INTJ death stare and a naturally pissed off look.

    Perhaps you look too nice? I don’t have that issue.

    Like

  44. Moehau Man says:

    Uh, yeah,

    Same here. There was one hooded bloke on TV last night calling himself a kiwi and rasping on about going to fight for his faith. Then they had more of them on, one after the other. The common denominator was the old lack-brain syndrome. As sure as a mandrill’s bum gleams like a neon light, they wouldn’t be welcome in godzone if Moehau Man was in charge.

    Like

  45. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Liz,
    Could it be that they talk crazy?
    I watched a documentary last night about psycopaths. In the Uk there’s one for every two hundred. In the US, one for every one hundred. While only a monority of them break the law, they comprise twenty percent of prisoners and are responsible for a lot of the violent crime.
    That kind of crazt, nobody wants.
    On that note, I am re4minded of Tara Palmatier’s advice. I’ll paraphrase for your benefit, “If you’re around crazy, keep it in your pants.”

    Like

  46. Moehau Man says:

    Here’s a go at introducing dulcet tones of Moehau Man to these portals. No, doesn’t work. There’s a wma file in mail…

    Like

  47. Padawan says:

    FuzzyWuzzy, with his antennae there
    Couldn’t decide if he was bee or bear.

    Like

  48. Farm Boy says:

    I wore my Bear Suit at the Spook House Saturday night. I chase the little kids around, and when I caught them I bear hugged them and swung them from side to side. A good time was has by all.

    Liked by 1 person

  49. Padawan says:

    Do something funny for money or our Fuzzy gets it,
    He MGHOW remains or gives up and accepts it.

    Like

  50. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Farm Boy,
    I am so glad for you. Isn’t it fun being a bear? I can hear kids squealing with delight.

    Like

  51. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Padawan,
    Misery Bear was shaking uncontrolably. In his place, so would I.
    Get me away from this crazy woman with a sledgehammer!

    Like

  52. Liz says:

    That’s awesome, Farmboy! 🙂

    Like

  53. Liz says:

    I think I just know too many people.
    Lots of crazy folk, and also crrraayyyzzzeeee folk.
    I actually moved into a house a few years back where there was not a single female neighbor that was even remotely sane. I don’t say this lightly…I could mention specifics but you wouldn’t believe me. Suffice it to say that I thought there was one sane one, the only sane one, and she ended up leaving her husband and family for the leader of a cult.

    Like

  54. Padawan says:

    Padawan was waiting for bear to stop dodgering
    Grab hold of Kate and give her a rogering.

    Like

  55. Liz says:

    I should add that this wasn’t some Godawful podunk little town of inbreds either. Very good neighborhood in Yorktown, Virginia. Great school district and everything.

    Like

  56. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    What was chilling about that documentary on psychopaths was that they were not legally crazy. They knew right from wrong at the comission of their crimes. Brrrr.

    As for you neighbors, could you also describe it as being self indulgent to the point of entitlement without any discipline?

    Just had a scary thought. The psychopaths Might be more responsible that your neighbors.
    Yikes!

    Like

  57. Padawan says:

    (psst, news from another blog)

    Cill had respectability
    As a man in self-made heaven 😎
    But not when Tarn now thinks that he
    Is an ancient sixty seven!!! >:D

    Padawan’s on gleeful note
    He wants to hire an army
    To give to Cill by way of gloat
    A mass whakapohane

    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
    (whakapohane pronounced fock-uh-poh-har-nee)

    Like

  58. Cill says:

    Don’t worry folks, when the crazies attack we’ll have the Bob Semple tank to protect us. Made out of roofing iron and held together with No. 8 wire, she had the stopping power of cardboard and the hitting power of a .303 rifle! Woe unto the foe!

    Like

  59. Cill says:

    This gives an idea how Bob’s brainstorm sort of came together:

    http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/7/8/0/61780.jpg?v=2

    Like

  60. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Cill.
    When attacked by crazy, what else is there to counterattack with?
    “The stopping power of cardboard and the hitting power ot a .303”
    That is one for the books!

    Like

  61. Cill says:

    Without a doubt the most embarrassing moment in New Zealand’s military history.

    It’s a pity the video has Russell Crowe speaking over it. I couldn’t find the other
    version, in which the Caterpillar D8 engine could be heard.

    Like

  62. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Cill,
    If they only used it for parades, it did it’s job. Things were worse here. I have seen films of training done with trucks having big signs identifying them as tanks.
    Pretty awful! 🙂

    Like

  63. Cill says:

    Fuzzy,

    The sad thing was, Bob Semple believed in the military potential of his tank. Had he not been the Minister of Works, it would never have been built and demonstrated. The army rejected it outright, putting Bob’s nose out of joint. Men still chortle about it and most kiwi boys know the story. I will pass it on to my own sons if I have any.

    Like

  64. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Cill,
    It is a good story to pass on. There are more than a few from that era.
    Not that I don’t like you, but I wish there were more commenters (and I don’t cheating like someone rlse di with adopting Yoda as a username) 🙂

    Like

  65. Cill says:

    This site is new. I just had a look back. Spawny created it on the 1st Oct, so it’s been going two weeks. The first week or so he restricted the access, so it has been more or less “open” for about a week.

    Like

  66. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Cill,
    Do you think anyone would notice if all sorts of animals started commenting here?
    We could add lions and tigers for a start.

    Like

  67. Cill says:

    They’d need avatars I reckon (and I say that even though I’m avatar-less myself). I gather from an earlier post that you’ve got a “toy” computer. Maybe I could help, although I’m a bit of a newbie with that sort of thing. Nowhere near Spawny’s level, I’m afraid.

    Like

  68. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Cill, I was thinking along the lines of different usernames.
    Larry the Lion, Theodore the Tiger, Gerry the Giraffe.
    You get the idea. They could have different personalities and commonalities.
    It could be fun.
    Have a good night!

    Like

  69. Farm Boy says:

    Do you think anyone would notice if all sorts of animals started commenting here?

    Probably not. People are already used to the bear and green space alien.

    Like

  70. Farm Boy says:

    Yes, it is fun being a bear.

    Like

  71. Spawny Get says:

    I think you’ll find the first comment with a new combination of email address and username will get caught up in ‘pending’ (will require freeing up). If you screw up a combination of username and email address it’ll be caught AND when you try and go back to the correct combination that’ll be caught too.

    Then you’ll have to wait for me to wake up in the UK. Or use existing, not screwed up combinations. I will free them (I don’t mind sock puppeting if it’s done in fun).

    Your call.

    Like

  72. Spawny Get says:

    You did see InternetAristocrat’ s Headmates video, didn’t you? Just saying 😉

    Like

  73. sfcton says:

    Well Spwany that is often over played esp in combat units; as I understand it was more common for the REMFS and most often racially motivated. Black soldiers killing White officers

    hajjis gave us an early Christmas gift last night so no movie time, just some good old fashion fun.

    Like

  74. Cill says:

    Bloody hell, I’m having a chortle here, trying to imagine Fuzzy in the different roles.

    Hello. I.am.Gerry
    I.am.a.Giraffe
    Giraffes.have.long.necks.

    Sorry, Fuzzy, but I just can’t see it. Your default state is bear. I reckon as soon as you act giraffe you’ll kinda head-butt the ground with a mighty thump.

    Like

  75. Cill says:

    I reckon I finally worked out the reason for that trampoline mishap.

    Like

  76. Padawan says:

    When Fuzzy Giraffe went off to sleep
    His chin on a branch in the air
    His head slipped off and butted the peat,
    He awoke later on as a bear.

    Liked by 1 person

  77. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Spawny Get,
    I got halfway through Internet Aristocrat’s Headmates. It was as much as I could stand. I think that I will confine myself to being a bear.

    Like

  78. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Cill and Padawan,
    I think that being a bear is quite enough. What would the uninitiated think if they came here and read a bunch of comments from talking animals?

    Like

  79. Spawny Get says:

    I found it a wonderfully entertaining explanation of the issues. He has other ones (e.g. for the privilege thang),

    Like

  80. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Spawny Get,
    I look forward to reading Moehau Man’s post

    [SG – Moe tells me that it’s coming]

    Like

  81. Spawny Get says:

    Party on Wayne

    Like

  82. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Spawny Get,
    A while back, you wanted to know where I stood with respect to MGTOW. In all honesty, the only thing that keeps the sexual marketplace limping along is demand from men. If a way could be found to reduce demand from men, relationships between men and women would start to improve due to the equal footing.
    The thirst is real and women are dependent on it.
    Now, how do we stop men from being thirsty?

    Like

  83. Spawny Get says:

    That’s a great question following a great point.

    It depends on where you are in life, your beliefs, your personality.

    Tarn might have addressed some of the issues on her blog. You can trust her. Though she seems to be preoccupied right now (with part three of her survey results?)

    I haven’t got anything to say right now, but how about I open a new post with your comment body? Start a discussion that way?

    Ted said some great things about his kids over on that post. Did you read them? Guy has heart. You don’t have to comment there, but he says some great stuff regarding the youngsters from a parent of my age.

    The stuff that, I guess, you are debating is a legitimate topic to discuss. There are many choices that can be made, but no single path forward. IMHO.

    Like

  84. FuzzieWuzzie says:

    Spawny Get,
    Please do feel free to use my comment to set up a new post.
    It is hoped that, with discussion, we’ll find answers.

    Liked by 1 person

  85. Spawny Get says:

    Have done! See the front page…cheers

    Like

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